Warning: This chapter contains triggering violence. You have been warned!

Disturbed- Asylum

No remnants were ever found of it
Feeling the hot bile

"Jude?" He extended his arm in the void, screaming her name in dullness that numbed the room. His smile faded away on his palish, apprehensive face.

"Timothy!"The same angel emerged beside the bath, smiling to him as her utterance soothed him.

With every fake smile
Though no evidence was ever found

He eyed Shachath as his blood froze once he acknowledged her presence again, recalling her mystically beautiful physical features. Timothy felt mightless and he didn't know what to reply in return to the angel of death. He just nod his head diffidently as he knew she had a foreword to tell him directly. He wanted to pose profusion of questions the angel, despite his abstinence.

"You had a visitor moments ago. Her!" Shachath clarified as pretext Her he knew right away who she meant.

"Is this really a purgatory?" He enquired.

It never went away completely

I try to appellate a holy sound of it

"Yes, it's, Timothy!" Timothy knew already he's in purgatory as he was uncertain about the rest of the stuff that queried him in this time, wrecking his mind with diversity of questions which answers rarely would be delivered deservedly.

"What she was talking about the time?"

"She meant you don't have a lot of time as you have less than twenty four hours to decide either if you want to join her in heaven or the hell is your new home for your soul." The angel of death explained intelligibly as she walked up to Timothy, leant as she caressed his cheek in her gloved hand, tilting his head as she pursued for his chocolate eyes. Chocolate eyes, oozing perplexion, waver and mild panic due to the least expected visitor before Shachath's second appearance. Especially in his after life, his hesitancy between choosing the godly home where he didn't belong after killing Shelley, letting two murderously dangerous doctors, a former Nazi war criminal and a serial killer, working in Briarcliff, and last but not least, casting aside the former Sister of the Catholic church; or rather, his new home for his sins and wrongdoings for every wretched, repenting soul. The hell.

Timothy pendulated as he swallowed a hard lump as his heart fell in his stomach after hearing the unsacred hell where he has never desired to go after he die either gloriously or notoriously, nevertheless was his true place after his vicious, unforgiving misdeeds.

"After you finish with dressing yourself, go through this door." Shachath pointed at the door with a forefinger of her other gloved hand, glimpsing at the glowing yellow large door, returning her casted gaze at his chocolate eyes as her velvety voice molted his heart. "Timothy, you should hurry! Your opportunities are limited." She cautioned passionatelessly seconds before vanishing in the vacuum as he didn't sense her smooth gloved hand's caress anymore and the lukewarm breath, tickling his face's creamy skin.

The young priest rose as he got from the bath, picking up the tossed clothes on the marble tiled bathroom floor as he dressed up swiftly in them without losing valuable time as he had more important task for his utter salvation. Choosing wisely his own destiny.

Once Timothy was already dressed up in his black slacks, black clerical shirt and oxford shoes, he looked around the bathroom once again as last farewell when he passes the unknown door, awaiting him greater surprises. Just like the pandora's box with its paradoxing secrets inside its ancient chest. He inhaled hard as he said inwardly farewell to the place where he actually committed suicide, thereafter rushing to the large door, opening it as he closed behind, establishing in an unidentified space.

It had nothing as he scrutinized his surroundings as he had just one alternative. To walk through the void.

When he walked down as he paid studiously attention to his path as he didn't want to bump up into something that would emerge in the least predictable moment, in the interim he saw from far away slowly walking woman figure. As he sped up as he was aware it was his rare bird, he realized it was Jude as she was clothed in the same garments where she encountered him in the purgatory.

"Jude!?" He cried her name as his solid footsteps approached the tinier figure that halted abruptly as she turned to Timothy, facing him with slight apprehension as she didn't expect him to choose the better path, in his opinion- namely joining Judy. Impassive hazel eyes met passionate chocolate as they locked into their stares. His nostrils were mesmerized by her rosy perfume and hair's scrumptious aroma. Meanwhile, he put his hands in his slacks' pockets, feeling so agitated especially in front of the person who he loved cordially but he threw her away by betraying her, firing her, locking her up in the same institution where they shared plenty of holy dreams and having secretly impure thoughts of one another, changing her name and most of all- promising to rescue her one day, howsoever, not keeping his promise, due to his lunatic, blinding obsession of power and becoming a Cardinal.

She sighed exasperated, shortly before replying him back, inquiring him over his choice.

"Urgh, Timothy! What made you to come here with me?" She posed the question deadly serious as she wanted a wise, well-judged answer from him, although she has such conflicting, raving emotions and feelings about him. Loving him and thinking him for the man who she can dedicate her life by sharing one dream- Rome. Or on the contrary, the egomaniacal man, preoccupied with church's dominance over his false hoped promises to his rare bird. The man she abhorred to bones and broke her heart, ripping it on trillions of pieces. Her response was far from civilized as she inquired him like an infuriated teenager over his chosen fate by him as he was guided by Shachath. Their savior.

Another day gone
Another night's drawn

The priest didn't know how to respond as he inhaled calmly, attempting to tidy his own thoughts in his mind to find the exact, accurate response to her complex question where he needed to include some of his frank philosophy rather than a regular cliché.

"I followed you because I wanted to tell you things you might have not heard back in our life in the world where we are no longer living." He admitted candidly, bluntly, without fluctuation. Timothy expected her negative overreaction over his response to her question. She couldn't trust him after he harvested his own ego and pursued to accomplish his Vatican marvel rather than to get Jude out of the madhouse as he was the crucial reason with Mary Eunice and Arden for her nemesis, rendering her a madwoman who she has never been in her life, and leave the church to supervise her as she heals from her everlasting scars from her sinful past and Briarcliff that brought her after being committed. "I love you, J-Jude!" He stuttered as his face lightly flushed as he got his hand out of his pocket, lifting it up timidly up to her face, cupping her chin, tilting her head to look directly into one another's eyes.

"Ugh!" She sighed dramatically, pushing away his hand from her face as she wanted to run away from him. From the man, she has never perceived as a monster until he did the unbelievable, obnoxiously dazzling things to her. Things she has never expected from a man with goodwill. What it enraged her even more was to hear his "I love you!" especially after his betrayal. "Is that all you want to tell me? After you fired me, believed in the lunatic Nazi war criminal, whose patients were missing or were transformed in freaks, and his little minion who I perceived as my own daughter figure? After killing innocent souls? How about when I became an inmate and you promised me to get me out of the hellhole but you didn't bother to pursue your Vatican blind dream?" She jived him with rhetorical questions as she hissed through clutched teeth, combusting tears almost ready to stream down her face. Her hazel eyes were filled with merciless dudgeon and rage. All she wanted to do is to suffocate him with her both stark hands, choking his neck as potently as she could, fueling her adrenaline as she consumes it. In spite of her passive aggression, she didn't want to hurt him physically as it would be far from tactical generally, besides she was heartbroken and she hesitated to forgive him. She loved him deeply, despite the discrepant odium of his actions and the majority of his speeches and sweet words that opted to seal her mind with golden imagination of the dream they shared once together where she'd have been taken with him and living a revered life as a Cardinal and Mother Superior.

"Jude, please. I am sincere." He paused as he didn't give up, grabbing her jaw as he tilted her head, tailing her eyes as he beheld the genuine colors of them behind her emotions and feelings. "I love you!" He furthered bravely as he knew right away what she would say after her blunt outrage.

"Go away!" She pushed him away, her fists walloped his chest, promptly ran away without turning to face him as her stilettos commenced clicking frequently as they were the sole noise source in the purgatory. She determined herself to escape from him as far as she could. Jude didn't want to see him ever again. Her blubbers and high pitched bawl rang in Timothy's ears as he darted desperately eyes to Jude who expedited her acceleration as soon as possible. He sped up as he wanted to catch her and comfort her, although he sensed a prejudice of being neglected by her, reminding him exactly of his betrayal to Jude. Eventually he realized his callous, lame mistakes that wasted his potential which he had. Especially when it was too late for everything. He was being investigated by Lana over Briarcliff's horrors and unanswered questions that abided unsolved yet, as they subsequently doom his reputation as his chances of becoming a Pope pare down. And if he was amidst the living souls yet, facing the prosecution and investigation even sue him, losing his Cardinal title, his dreams would be wrecked and spend the rest of his days behind the prison bars.

How can I feel this empty
I will not recover this time
This loneliness is killing me

Will I ever know peace of mind again
I don't believe it
I can't achieve it
I think I know it's just another sign that
Never went away completely

Once Jude walked in the middle of the void street with small houses and a grand tower between two of the cottages as she and Timothy were the only inhabitants of this place, she rushed as she entered in the grand, tall tower with its scarcely spacious spiral stairway, climbing the stairs as she reached the thirtieth floor breathless, panting heavily as she traipsed, propped her shoulder on the doorway, trying to catch her breath and taking a break until she furthers. She perspired after mounting up the tenth floor.

As soon as she caught her breath, she ambled up as she entered in a small, however, sufficiently expansive room. It overwhelmed her there was a queen-sized bed with crimson red round cushions, two nightstands, encompassing the bed alongside. An authentic painting hanged above the lacquered headboard. A retro gramophone stood next to the large French window. A regale onyx black carpet blanketed the maple floor.

She scrutinized carefully the room as she walked up to the bed, sitting on the edge of it as she fixed her fishnet gloves, gloving her hands. She casted a blank contemplate on the French window as she began to shiver, sensing the coldness prevailing her body's temperature as her skin electrified and goosebumped.

How can I feel this empty?
I will not recover this time

She was already lost in her thoughts once she sat on the bed, figuring out what she did just a few minutes ago. She felt a profound remorse that gnawed her slowly. She overreacted on Timothy's words when he confessed his love to her and instead of replying him positive, she neglected him and fleeing away. Jude cogitated complexly the situation, comprehending her mistake. Oddles of questions swam in her mind. For example she thought...What if Timothy doesn't forgives her for her overreaction? What if she never sees him again especially in the purgatory where they belonged now until they came to their final conclusion where their soul will be transmitted? What if he forgives her and tells her again and again how much he does love her and wants her? How she would react this time? Would it be either better or much worse, compared to the time prior?

This loneliness is killing me

Will I never know peace of mind again?

All of a sudden, something snap her out of her deep-seated thoughts as she heard tramps that diffused like a searing echo through the tower's walls. She shifted her eyes as she turned to face the doorway as her heart froze momentarily. She knew right away it was Timothy. Jude incredibly recognized his heavy footsteps that towered stairs almost restlessly.

Meanwhile she thought to herself:

"Will he forgive me for my overreaction?"

I don't believe it
I can't achieve it
I think it all is just another sign
That never went away completely

Then she looked away from the doorway as she gaped tepidly the east side of the room's wall, her hands trembling as the purgatory's climate was unbearably cold after abiding motionless for a handful of minutes at least. Just like a marble statue.

Suddenly she heard a masculine voice that wasn't dozen inches away from her ears, colliding in the four wall room of the tower.

"Jude!?" Timothy burst out silently as it was sufficiently audible for her ears. She turned to Timothy who stood abreast the bed's foot desk. The blonde emitted a fatigued sighed, incapable of delivering him the cold-blooded, precise answer as she opted to sort her mind.

"Timothy, I owe you an apology for my impulsive irrationality just a few minutes ago. Are you going to forgive me?" Jude enquired as she wiped her sweaty eyebrow with her bare forearm. It was irrefutably evident she didn't have much choice. She was almost always in bad terms with men after Casey left her and it was far from complexly apparent how and why. They used her juvenileness grace and body for their pleasures. They have never asked her how her day passed at least. They have never even bothered to question her about her feelings and condition. The sole men with whom even the most amiable relationship is shared with one another, are Frank and somewhat Timothy, in spite of his betrayal, selfishness and yellow-belly demeanor. Frosty tears commenced building in the former nun's eyes, almost ready to well in her dazzling, however, frosty hazel eyes. She was fed up with being betrayed and heart-broken. She is being quested to rescue one more soul in less than 24 hours. It was nobody else but Timothy, himself. Although he didn't deserve the heavenly, peaceful paradise, Jude didn't want to abandon him in the middle of the nowhere and to go in hell. She knew how much the treachery and heartaches sorely hurt. Nevertheless, she doesn't realize her overreaction is nothing compared to these. She somewhat forgave him for his wrongdoings, howsoever, there's another question. Is he going to forgive her for her rage that she exhibited?

"O-of course, I am forgiving you, Jude. That's nothing compared to what I have done to you." He offered her a genuine smile as his hands were in his slacks' pockets. In the interim, the blonde nodded as she affirmed his words, agreeing with him. "May I sit next to you?" The former priest asked politely.

She just sighed reluctantly as she maneuvered him to sit as he approached the bed, sitting next to her as he expressed his gratitude to her.

The both former pious faces of the church casted a blankless gape to the gramophone as an awkward, hollowing silence flooded the room. They haven't pelt a word seconds later.

Jude quietly sobbed to herself as she didn't want Timothy to note her current condition. She just got from the bed, strolling over to the gramophone, moving its needle to the spot that held its disk until it played a song in the playground, filling the room with some life. It was actually playing Near you by Francis Craig as Jude re-seated next to Timothy again as he looked up at her.

"There's just one place for me, near you. It's like heaven to be, near you. Times when we're apart"

"I presuppose you know this song!" Jude asked a rhetorical question with a sympathetic smile looming across her ravishing red lips. She halted sobbing as her tears didn't betray enough to gush down her cheeks.

"Yes, it's Near you by Francis Craig." Timothy guessed as a sweet, masculine smile shaped on his face.

Then Jude emitted a guttural chuckle as Timothy joined her, their eyes locked up in one another's stares. "Correctly, Timothy!" She tapped lightly, jubilantly his shoulder. "Perhaps you have musical knowledge."

"Not exactly!" He tittered. "However, my musical knowledge is decent enough for an average person especially priest." He continued.

"It surprises me because you have served almost your entire life as a priest." In the meantime, Jude thrummed inwardly to herself, relishing its background music that yet played in the background. Timothy admired Jude's full image and her voice as her thrum diffused to his ears, jingling holy hymns. His eye glistened as the former promiscuous nightclub singer recognized scintillas of bliss and serenity. Megawatt smile distorting across his lips.

"I can't face my heart. Say you'll never stray. More than just two lips away"

"You have such a spectacular voice." He didn't miss the opportunity to compliment her voice as he noted some kind of talent in her.

"Thank you!" She blushed as she responded humbly. "I used to be a singer before nunnery. It was nothing special."

"That sounds interesting. But why?"

Terror is coursing in me
Dreading the final moments

"You don't want to know, I assure ya."

"If my hours could be spent near you. I'd be more than content near you"

"I don't care what you used to be in the past, just tell me, please." He insisted as he diminished his voice's decibels to sound as quiet as possible. "I won't judge you." Timothy tried to reassure her as he cupped her jaw in his hand, cocking her head down as her forehead rested against his, hazel eyes linked to chocolate in an intense eye contact.

"I have warned ya earlier so...I was always being pressured, no matter what efforts I tried to put in improving myself as a person to be just perfect. I have grown with a single mother and my father left me when I was just a little girl. Howsoever, I fell in love with a man named Casey, who I thought would be a trustworthy, loving and most of all...just fine man!" She paused as her heart twinged even more when she commenced with her monologue. Flashbacks from her younger years rewinded just like skipped scenes from a movie. "He wasn't that type of man who I thought he was in the beginning. He used me. His infidelity broke my heart, cracking it on immense pieces." She paused as she opted to catch her breath. Likewise she refrained from weeping though this scar didn't recede off. "Not only he scared me away from the love, but also he infected me with syphilis as I am incapable of having children. I forgave him. I still loved him even if he hated me for telling him after what the doctors told me. He called me a liar and a whore and left me like a garbage!"

Timothy's heart fractured abruptly after hearing her grim monologue, listening regardfully as his attention was ultimately focused on Jude. His hush aided her rather to reckon.

When I have to dream
And feel you die

"Afterwards I fought with a great depression and I wanted to commit suicide. But I was such a coward to do it. And so I was starting to numb myself with boozing and sleeping with random men when I was a singer. One day I wanted to escape from everything as far as I could until I experienced one more car crash. Fortunately, surviving it as I established in St.Andrews and God helped me as I found eventually the right path to light. To become a nun and keep my vows."

Flashback

1945

"I am sorry to inform you, Ms.Martin! But you are infected with syphilis." Dr.Stewart informed the young woman as she seated against his desk, dozens of minutes after checking his patient. She paid a visit to the gynecologist as a month later after she had sex with Casey and she didn't note the usual pregnancy symptoms that ensued.

Even she noted her fiancé bizarre demeanor lately as he wasn't returning back at home after 9pm. He was actually getting back at home whenever he wants especially either in 2 or 3am in the morning. Judy was aware that he might cheat on her. He does it, of course. It was pretty evident in his demeanor. Moreover, she stayed awake until the morning until he gets back at home as she wanted to be with him and his explaination. Every time whenever Judy poses the question about where he was, he avoided to answer her question as he was the provocateur who enquired her and menaced her with slaps and bruising her.

In the interim, her face became pale as her mouth was agape, watching blankly the doctor's amber eyes, unable to speak anything as she was somewhat well informed about the syphilis and some other illnesses.

"W-what do you mean with this, doctor?" She stuttered as she was almost mightless to speak. "What does that mean?" Judy furthered as she enquired again.

"That means you are incapable of having your partner's children. That's what I am trying exactly to say, Miss." The young doctor explained to her as her heart froze after hearing the deplorable truth. "I am really sorry!" He apologized as frosty tears commenced building as they started to well in her eyes, gushing down her cheeks as Dr.Stewart recognized her desperate condition.

She restrained from peeling a word as she was profoundly hurt to hear the truth behind the reasons why she wasn't experiencing morning sickness, food cravings and mood swings. On other hand, she was also livid as she realized who stays in front of the syphilis. It was actually Casey who did it. He infected her with this horrid sickness as she won't be able to be fertile anymore and carry her own child. Made from her flesh and blood. Made from the father's flesh and blood. To possess its parents' outstanding physical features.

Instead of uttering a syllable, she just grabbed her purse, left doctor's office by saying a simple goodbye as she lastly cared about Casey's reaction when she tells him about it. Not only that rendered her apprehensive, however, she feared if he leaves her. She had opulent of questions, flooding her intermingled mind with questions that plagued her right away. Her emotions were even more conflicting. Between anger, grief and numbness. Judy didn't know exactly what it kind of emotions dominated more. She just didn't know what to do. She hesitated between telling Casey about doctor's misfortunate news or hiding it. On the contrary, she preferred to be honest with him rather than either concealing it for a certain period of time or lying to him.

After Judy got back at her home where she shared a roof with Casey and their wedding was just tomorrow, she parked the car In front of the garage as she listen some music to soothe her, although it didn't help her at all.

"I fall in love too easily. I fall in love too fast. I fall in love too terribly hard. For love to ever last." The car radio's music played in the background, jingling in Judy's ears as she turned off the radio as soon as she stopped her car's engine.

"Goddamn it! He is going to kill me..."She paused. "...but I need to be honest with him!" Judy muttered to herself as she emboldened herself, meantime opening the car door as she got out of the car as she gripped the purse, locking the car as she stormed off the car, her heels clicking vigorously, stomping the ground, overlooking her surroundings as her hazel eyes were darted to the front door until she stood in front of it, delving in her purse for the keys as she got them by unlocking the door.

Hence, she stepped in the hallway as she shut the door, kicking off her heels as she burst out:

"Honey, I am home!"

Then no response returned. She thought she was home alone just like almost every day. Enduring loneliness and unrequited love with the first man she fell in love with and aroused impatience to marry formally as they become a wed couple, yet loving each other and find different alternatives to have children.

The one story house that she lived in with Casey wasn't exquisitely furnished at all. It was rather modestly or normally. They have known each other for 2 years as they started living together for almost 2 years.

When she left the purse on the cupboard, she zinged up to the kitchen as she saw her fiancé with a glass of whiskey in his hand, raising its glass as he looked up at her with emotionless look on his face, narrowing an eyebrow.

"Is there anything wrong, sweetheart?" She asked him concerned as she approached him, crouching down to him as she cupped his cheeks in her hands, looking up straightly in his sapphire blue eyes, noting his unusual demeanor.

Then he casted glare on her as he sipped in a gulp the whiskey, unable to take his eyes off her. He totally ignored her as he growled under his breath:

"Do not sweetheart me! You are so lucky I haven't smacked a slap across your doll face!"

"Excuse me? Casey, look! How do you welcome your future bride like that? Without answering the door, hugging her, kissing her and the first thing of all to ask her how is she?" Judy replied waxily. "You don't care about me...anymore?!" Meanwhile he pushed away her hands from his cheeks as his face acquired ruddy hue of tetchiness.

"Sit down on the fucking chair and tell me about doctor's results or I will slap you otherwise!" He menaced her as her heart fell in her stomach as she raised her torso, strolling over a chair as she seated against him. Instead of answering his threat, she just obediently did what he told her.

"Well, the doctor told me I was actually infected with..." In the meantime, her hand reached for his as she took it in her for support, stammering as igniting tears began building in her eyes as her heart sunk. Fortunately, she felt the ounce off her shoulders as she was relieved to tell him all this, in spite of her uneasiness. "...syphilis!" His eyes widened as she mentioned the sickness, scarcely daring to peel a word as she furthered with her speech. "Look what, sweetie! I am forgiving you for what you did to me. I love you! We can work it..." Unfortunately, Casey cut her off, barely giving her the opportunity to finish it as he was beyond steamed up, pulling away his hand from her as he was disgusted by her.

"Fucking bitch!" He got from the chair as his nerves verged, yelling at her as her hands and legs quivered by his radical anger. He lifted down his hand to the emptied glass of whiskey, gripping it as her hazel eyes, filled with mortification fixed on his afflicted face, paralyzed to move away as she wanted to observe his imminent action. "Fucking lying bitch!" He repeated bluntly as he got crueler, hardly controlling his language and threw the whiskey glass at her as she dodged it as it hit the wall instead. "Whore!" Casey shouted balefully as he hasted up to her as she got from the chair as quick as she could, moving away from him as she didn't want to be caught by him. The threating tears already gushed down her cheeks as these words hurt the bottom of her heart. He was after her until he gets her.

"Please, Casey! Noo!" He grabbed her by her soft long wavy golden hair as his tug was as potent as he could as she groaned through bitter tears. He used this moment with his other hand to smack a slap across her face as she fell on the ground, crawling down as much as she could though Judy wasn't strong sufficiently to escape his violent demeanor as his adrenaline oozed off him. "We can work it out, dear! If we don't even have children..." One of her sentences abided unfinished like a few moments ago. Casey pigheadedly overlooked her words as he gripped her by her dress's fabric, spinning her as he slapped her face as she just prostrated on the wooden planked flooring in the living room, her eyes defeatedly darted to his, her hand clamping her cheek as he left his imprinted fingers on her face, wailing thwarted like a prey. In the interim, he crouched down to her as he scrutinized her face in disgust and rage.

"I don't care anymore, you fucking lying bitch and whore! I knew you did it to yourself."

"No, it wasn't me! You did infect me with syphilis." Judy argued back as she raised her voice's decibels as she was her nerves were nigh their edge to tolerate his barbaric demeanor. "I was always loyal to you and I would never think of looking at another man. It's apparent who gave me this sinister illness. It's you! Because you are cheating on me and that's obvious as you get back at home either in 2 or even 3am in the morning." She kept on as she didn't give up to defend her own position.

Then he spat on her face as Casey was fed up with listening to her. He was far from tranquil and wanted already to flee out of her house.

"Once a whore, always a whore, Judy! Go to hell!" He stated as he hurtled up to the hangers with coats and jackets, grabbing his leather black jacket, walking up to the front door as he slammed door. Jude continued to blubber as she wasn't strong enough to get from the ground and stop him. It was too late.

"Do not leave me!" Judy shrieked in pain as she held her bruised cheek.

Minutes later, she got from the wooden planked flooring as she headed up to the kitchen, grabbed a sharp silver razor as she wanted to end her agony, pain and everything else. Not only she was heartbroken after telling everything to Casey and witnessed his impulsive reaction, furthermore she thought the suicide is the single chance to rescue herself from the world's coldness and brutality.

Once she took in her hand the razor, she aimed it as Judy scarcely slit her wrist due to her fear to die in the swiftest, most efficient way. Hesitancy didn't left her mind as it was unsteady, occupying her mind for a handful of minutes only.

"Come on! Don't be such a coward, Judy! Kill yourself since you want it!" An inner voice echoed in her as she tossed the razor in the kitchen sink unintentionally, not having the sufficient strength to slit her wrist.

"Urrghh!" She grunted ferociously.

Afterwards she grabbed from the counterplot a bottle of whiskey, pouring In an empty, clean glass some alcoholic beverage as she proceed with doing it until she lost her consciousness and passed on the floor. She was still alive yet.

***