Dedicated to @Zoe_Horan for showing me people still had this book and for giving me the motivation to give them more. <3

After a couple of days I realized that I had been wearing Jessica's clothes since I'd been here and I had none of my own things with me, so I decided to call my mom to see if my parents were home. Luckily, neither of them were home so I could have Jess drive me to get some of my things.

Carefully, I walked down the stairs to where she was in her parents room, trying not to hurt myself worse than I already was. As I walked in I automatically took notice to Jessica sitting on her parents bed as her father stood in front of her, simply talking.

Not trying to interupt them disrepectfully, I lightly knocked on the open door, wordlessly asking for permission to enter.

"Hello Madison. Are you feeling alright today?" Mr. Grant asked me politely as he turned around, having heard my light knock.

"Yes I am, thank you for asking. Neither of my arms have been hurting much today." I smiled as I said this, even though I knew that at that very moment the stitched gash was slightly burning, along with the dull pain in my elbow. "Although, I just realized that I don't have any of my stuff here. Could I steal Jessica from you for a little bit so I can go grab a few things?" I asked with a small smile on my face, hoping that he'd be ok with it, I might not get another open window.

"Of course you can. I mean, you are the guest." He chuckled, finding it amusing seeing as I was going to be the 'guest' for a while. "I'm just kidding kid, take her for as long as you need, I have to head off to work anyways." I just now noticed that he was in his lab coat and scrubs and such as he leaned over and kissed Jess on the side of the head and breezed by me and out the front door.

As soon as her dad left, Jessica turned to me with a worried and pointed expression. I was confused for a second until she popped off with what she was thinking.

"Do you really think that it's safe to go to your house right now? Your dad might be home." She said somberly, the warning tone in her voice quite apparent as her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Yeah, we should be fine. I made sure to call my mom first to make sure that they were out of the house, I definetly do not want to run into my father." I said, shuttering slightly as I glanced at the ground before looking back up. "So can we go? This might be the only window I get for a while to grab some things."

Jessica simply stood up and walked over to me, knowing that this was kinda serious and said, "come on," in a light tone and continued walking, grabbing her car keys from the hook as I followed her out the door. My house was easily in walking distance, but we both knew that we didn't want to(and I kinda couldn't) have to carry all my stuff back here.

As we pulled into the driveway, I looked to the right to see a moving truck, the back of it opened with two men carrying a large brown couch out of it. Apparenly someone finally decided to buy the place. Most of the houses around us were vacant, and the ones that weren't contained people that didn't care about the sounds coming from the house across the street. I was worried about what would happen with this new family.

I sat there for a second before I collected my thoughts and got out of the car, heading straight to the front door. I tried opening it, but it wouldn't budge. Luckily, my mother kept a spare key incase this kind of thing happens. Looking around to check for snooping people, I lifted up one of the big flower pots and grabbed the key that was taped to the bottom, quickly unlocking the door.

As soon as I walked inside, I went straight up the stairs and to my bedroom door, which I was assuming was unlocked by my mom. Walking in, I grabbed a duffel bag and a purse and grabbed the clothes I wanted, some shoes, my makeup, my trusted razors, my shaving razors, my laptop, and a plethora of other necessary things and put them in the bags.

Before I left, a picture caught my eye and I walked over to look at it. It was a picture of my mom, my dad, myself, and our old cat Molly. It was taken before my dad started drinking so much and started hitting me. It was taken much before I even had the thought to put a razor to my own skin. Not realizing, a tear had ran down my cheek as I held the picture frame, quickly setting it down and wiping the tear away before walking over to Jessica.

"Let's go." My voice was soft as I walked past Jessica and down my stairs, not looking back as I walked out the front door and locked the memories in the house.

Jessica threw the duffel in the boot while I decided to just hold onto my purse, watching her get in the drivers seat as I walked around the car.

"Hi!" An Irish accent reached my ears as I stopped and looked over at the newcomer from the house next door. "Are you one of our new neighbors?" He asked, a giant grin on his face that I had a feeling didn't really go away.

"Well looking at the moving truck in your driveway I would assume so." I stated evenly. He looked nice enough, but I haven't had the best luck with younger guys, or older for the matter. He looked to be about nineteen.

"Oh, well, yeah. Umm...that would be correct." The end of his sentance raised like he wasn't completely sure he was saying the right answer. His smile had faltered after my response, confusion taking over his features, but he soon shook that off a continued. "Anyways, I'm Niall, Niall Horan. Could I get your name, or should that be assumed as well?" The fake blonde joked, his smile becoming wider at his own joke.

I comtemplated for a second before responding. "I'm Madison. But you don't need to worry about me much, I won't be here for a while. You just gotta worry about my parents." I told him, before making a grand exit of falling into the passenger seat of the car and driving away as I saw him chuckling at my failure of getting in the car and waving me off.

"He seems friendly." Jessica said, glancing over at me for a split second before returning her eyes to the road. I scoffed lightly.

"They always seem friendly." I stated, not needing to say any more. We'd both been put through the same kinds of things.

"Trust me, out of all people, I know. But not all of them are bad. That kid, what was it Niall?" I nodded my head. "Yeah, Niall, he seemed like he was completely pure of heart. Did you not see his reaction to your 'neighbors' comment? He's an innocent little puppy dog. I doubt he could hurt a fly. For god sakes Madi he was wearing almost all white and he's a dyed blonde. He's harmless." I laughed lightly after she was done with her spiel over my neighbor.

"Look, I know there's a possibility he could be, like, the devil or something, but just think about it. You know we could both use another friend, especially a guy, that can run into your house and rescue you from your horrible father." Jess finished with her opinion on the tanned Irish boy, a small smile playing on her lips.

"See, you are correct on that subject. Only problem is, is that not everyone helps the victim if you don't recall. People look at me and call me a freak because someone found out I cut my wrist, but that same person didn't look far enough to see the bruises on my face and my split lip from my father which was the cause of the razor touching my skin. If they had they wouldn't have cared. Or they would've been too scared to say something. No one cares if you're hurting anymore. Whether someone else is doing it to you, or you do it to yourself. The only thing they care about anymore is cutting your heart open more than your wrists and your lip." As I finished my closing statement we pulled into the driveway, turning off the car. Jes unbuckled herself and turned to face me.

"Look, keep your guard up if you want to, but be nice to him. See if he's a worth while friend. If he is and he hears something going on in your house, than he'll come, and you'll know." Jess gave me a tiny smile, knowing that I was stubborn and that I didn't want to end up getting hurt again. Everyone always betrayed me, at least the ones that hadn't already turned their back. I looked down a barely nodded, but Jessica saw it and told me she was going to keep me to my word.

Looking back up, I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car, slinging my purse over my left shoulder as Jess grabbed my duffel from the boot. We walked up to the house in silence, my mind travelling back to the bubbly Irish boy and whether I could put any trust in him or not. Running all the pros and cons and possibilities through my head, my mind always running dark, a daily task that made me want to shoot myself. But instead, I find my trust fund and make a withdrawal.

With that as my last thought, I walked up the stairs and told Jess that I was going to take a shower and without waiting for a response, carried on until I was in her room. I quickly grabbed some sweats and a tshirt out of her closet seeing as Jess had my duffel and pulled a razor(trust fund) out of my purse before walking into the bathroom, stripping, and turning on the shower.

It eventually turned to the temperature I wanted, hot enough to hurt, but not hot enough to severely burn, and got in. I sat down in the bathtub, letting the water hit my legs and splash of in a multitude of directions as I stared with glazed over eyes. After a couple seconds I looked down to the razor in my right hand, and up to my casted arm.

I thought of everything that had happened over the last couple of years. My father. My bullies. My old friends. I thought of everything, all of the horrible memories flashing through my brain as I stared blankly at the cast. How did my life become this? How did my once loving family turn into this? My mom is naive to everything. My father is an abusive drunk. And me? Me? I'm an abused seventeen year old who started cutting because of the abuse and the beginning depression. And now? Now I'm an abused seventeen year old who cuts becuase of the abuse at home, the abuse at school, the betrayal, the loneliness, the deep seated depression.

So that's what I did, I cut(withdrawal). I cut as I continued to stare blankly at the wall, and then blankly at my bloody arm. I liked the stinging pain that accompanied the feeling of metal on and in my skin. Once I was satisfied I sat there under the water, and turned it up slightly since I was on the ground, and watched the blood run down. Eventually, the pain ran dull so I stuck my arm under the pelting hot water, relieved at the burning pain.

After a while I didn't want to be in there anymore and I had stopped bleeding so I got out and wrapped a towel around me, sitting on the toilet seat. I felt so void. But so hurt at the same time. Deeply hurt. My heart hurt and my brain wouldn't stop. I felt drained.

A couple minutes later, I stood up and started to get dressed, albeit having difficulty due to my casted arm. I soon realized that I had no bracelets and I have just struggled putting on a shirt that I would have to trade out for a long sleeve. Huffing and hating my life, I walked out of the bathroom to grab a new shirt, my mangled arm hanging limply at my left side.

What I didn't expect was to find Jessica sitting on her bed as I walked in and having her eyes automatically drift over my form and discover my half destroyed arm. I knew she was going to freak and I started to panic as soon as I saw her on the bed.

"What the fuck Madi?!" She exclaimed, flying up as I flinched. "Look, I understand, I completely fucking understand, but you are not at home. You are not with your father. You are not at school. You are with me. I thought you were doing better?" Jessica's voice cracked and faded at the end of her sentance, looking at me with pain, distraught, and fire filled eyes, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry.." Was all that I could say, weakly, a lump caught in my throat, or maybe that was just my heart. "I have been doing better, it helps being just here, but that doesn't cure everything in a couple days." I strained out, a tear running down my cheek.

Jessica just simply walked up and wrapped me up in her arms, allowing me to bury my head into her shoulder, letting a few silent tears fall. I didn't want to do this anymore. I just wanted things to truly get better. I wanted to be in a loving home, with normal everyday problems. I wanted to go to school and be excepted, I didn't need any friends other than Jes, but I also didn't need the bullies and the looks. I wanted to be happy, to not always feel like this, to not always have this hole in my heart and these horrible thoughts in my brain. I closed my eyes as I let a few more tears fall. I just wanted it to end.

GUYS. GUYS. I came back! I am a horrible person I know, I hate myself probably more than you guys do, but here's a long chapter to try and make up for it a little?????? And Niall?????? And some drama???? Anywhore, I will be back. Until then, like, comment, vote, add, or just read. LOVE YA. <3 <3 <3

~SiriusCatBennett