Becky
"So?"
"I got clean, I got better...it was hard, I'm not sure how I did it really. All I know is that I couldn't have done it without my dad."
"Your dad?"
"Yeah, I used to have a dad. I spent most of my life avoiding him because I
was scared of what John would do to me if he found out. He never liked my dad, always said he was a dick and too full of himself for his own good but in reality it was the other way around. When I finally caved it was because I really needed help and I mean really needed help. I got to his house and he promised to look after me and he promised to keep me safe, I was grateful and I accepted the help but I really wish I didn't, because maybe just maybe my dad would still be here today."
"Becky...what happened to him? Please..."
"Well I was out and clean, I was picking up something when my phone rang. It was a phone call that would change my life forever, I got told that my dad was in the hospital. I felt my heart break, I knew I had to get to him before it was too late. When I arrived at the hospital, I don't really remember what happened I just remember being taking into a room and hearing the words.
"I'm sorry he's gone..." My heart broke, my mind raced. I was terrified. I'd just lost the only person who meant anything to me, I didn't know what to do but I needed to know how he died. They told me he had a serious collision with another vehicle on the road, they tried to save him but it was too late, I was too late. I just went numb, I didn't know what to do with myself."
"Aw Becky...I'm so sorry."
"And I broke even more when I found out, it was my fault. That's what drove me back to the drugs, that's what sent me back. I was just holding on but I completely fell apart when I found out it was my fault. The people that crashed into my dad's car, were after me. They thought I was in the car, they were trying to kill me...Seth...it was all my fault..."
I just fell apart in front of him, keeping that to myself has been hard. There hasn't been a day where I haven't felt guilty, I wish it could've been me in that car, everything would have been fine if it was me. All debts would be payed and all of my sins would be forgiven it would all be over and that would have been good.
"Becky, I understand. I really do, I used to have a sister. She was crazy but lovely, the best big sister I could've asked for. She was so similar to you, she was secretive and never let anyone in except me. I noticed she'd been drinking a lot more, it was scary watching someone you love so much just fall apart right before your eyes. I found her one night drinking vodka, I took it and poured it down the sink. She destroyed everything of mine, all my toys and all my books it really hurt. She started to shout at me and she told me not to get involved in her business ever again or she'd tell mom and dad that I lost the dog. So I backed off, but I so desperately wish I didn't. I wish I kept trying to make sure she was okay, I wish I'd told my mom and dad because she would still be here today if I did. It was a normal day for me in school when I got called to the office, I saw my mother and I was scared, she looked so hurt. She took me to Roman's house and I was confused, we went inside and I saw my dad. They sat me down and my mother told me she'd found my sister dead and it was because of the alcohol. The guilt I feel everyday knowing that it was my fault that she died is unbearable and it hurts. She's gone because of me, it fucking hurts so much..."
"Seth...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry you had to do that alone."
"Me too Becky, me too."
He reached across to me and placed his hand on my cheek, I could feel my tears rolling down my face as I looked up into his eyes.
"Becky...I want to be able to trust you and I want you to be able to trust me. I want us to be able to talk to each other no matter what, if we're going to do this we need to do it properly...because Becky please I don't think I can take much more hurting...I don't want to hurt anymore, I don't want to feel guilty anymore and I don't want to lose you again."
"Seth, I don't want to hurt you. That's why I don't want to stay, I want you to be happy. I don't want you to feel like a caregiver , because I need help Seth...serious help."
"Without you Becky I won't be happy, I will only be happy when I have you at my side...safe. That's all I want Becky, you, me and Millie growing up together , taking care of her together. Please Becky..."
"You really want me and Millie to stay?"
"Of course I do, because...because Becky I love you."
A/N: I'm still on a break, but this was sitting in my drafts so I thought I better post it (: