Summary: Ashton is in love with Luke. Luke responds in a way nobody expects.

Luke and Ashton sit on the couch, deeply focused on the fifa game on the screen.

"I WIN!" Luke shouts, jumping from the couch, fist pumping the air.

"No fair! You cheated!" Ashton pouts, crossing his arms. Luke had used Ashton's time in the bathroom to play without him and score himself a few points.

"It was not cheating! If you leave the room, then it's every man for himself." Luke defends, walking into the kitchen. Calum and Michael are in the studio, so Ashton and Luke are waiting for them to come back to Ashton's flat. He follows Luke, opening the fridge. Ashton scans the shelves before he finds what he wants; a whipped cream can. He sprays a swirl in his mouth, Luke grabbing the can, spraying some on Ashton's face.

"Luke!" He shrieks, grabbing a napkin. Luke laughs, spraying the cream into his own mouth. Ashton wipes his face clean, leaving a drop on his nose. He huffs, crossing my arms.

"Ash, you've got a little..." Luke gestures to his nose, but Ashton furrows his eyebrows. Luke sighs, wiping the cream from Ashton's nose, licking it from his finger. Ashton watches as he does so, a blush forming on his cheeks.

"Uh th-thanks." Ashton mumbles, walking out of the kitchen. See Ashton's been seeing Luke in a way friends normally don't. It's becoming a problem. He's noticed how pretty Luke's eyes are and how cute he looks when he laughs and how hot that lip ring looks. It's getting out of hand.

I'm not suppossed to think things like that about one of my best mates. It's just plain weird. What am I thinking?! He's a BOY. I'm a BOY. That's weird. Right?

"ASH-TON." Luke waves a hand in front of Ashton's face, catching his attention.

"What?" He shakes himself back to reality, Luke giving him a strange look.

"Calum and Michael are here." Ashton turns his head to see Calum and Michael giving him strange looks.

"You alright, mate?" Calum asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm just a bit tired. M'gonna head to bed. Night." Ashton scurries to his room, ignoring the looks the boys are giving him. The boys echange confused looks. Ashton can't be in the same room as them right now. He needs to think this through.

I don't know what's happening to me.

He shuts the door to his room, plopping on his bed. He shoves his head into his pillow, letting out an irritated groan.

Seriously, why does this have to happen to me? I've always liked girls. I do like girls. Right? Fuck.

"Ashton?" Ashton hears a voice and a knock on the other side of his door, Calum softly knocking.

"What?" Ashton huffs, rolling on his back. Calum walks in, sitting on the edge of Ashton's bed.

"You alright? You seem a bit...off." Calum gives a worried look, making Ashton sigh. He can't tell Calum about this. He'll hate him for sure. He can't tell anyone about this. Everyone will hate him.

"Calum, have you ever started to like someone? But that someone is someone that you shouldn't like at all. And if you told this person that you like them then that would ruin your friendship?" He sits up, biting his lip. He's not even sure if he likes Luke, but he's leaning towards that idea.

"Oh, so this is about a girl." Calum laughs, causing Ashton to frown.

"K-kinda." Ashton bows his head, finding the bedding to be very interesting.

"What's that mean?" Calum cocks his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I know you'll probably hate me for saying this, but I have to get this off my chest." Ashton start to shake, breathing heavy.

"Okay?"

"It's not a girl that I'm thinking about," He starts, Calum's face reflecting all sorts of confusion "it's a guy." Ashton closes his eyes, expecting Calum to yell at him. What surprises him is arms around his body.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Calum asks, a smile placed firmly on his lips.

"Y-you're not mad?" Ashton asks, gobsmacked.

"Of course not! You're one of my best mates! I don't care if you're into guys! Hell, I'll help you pick out the hot ones!" He laughs, making Ashton laugh. A weight falls off of his shoulders.

"Thank God." Ashton lets out a breath of relief, smiling.

"So, who is this mystery boy?" Calum asks, making Ashton's heart race.

"It's someone you know...very well." Ashton twiddles his thumbs.

"Is it one of our friends?"

"Yes."

"Harry?"

"No."

"Louis?"

"No."

"Zayn?"

"No."

"Niall...?"

"NO!"

"Michael?"

"Hell no."

"Erm...is it...uh...me?"

"No. Don't worry."

"Josh?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you're both drummers and such. Just a guess. Is it?"

"Nope. Good guess though." Calum names off a load of other people, Ashton responding with a shake of his head.

"Well the only other person is...oh. Oh no. Ashton please tell me it isn't." Calum facepalms, making the older boy blush.

"It might be." Ashton bites his lip, waiting for Calum to just say it.

"Is it Luke?" He sighs, making Ashton hold in a breath.

"Maybe." Ashton answers, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

"Ashton..." He trails off.

"Alright. Fine. It is. I know. I'm a disgrace."

"You're not a disgrace. But I guess now that you say something, I can see it. All the times you stare at him and sit next to him and lean on him. Yeah that one's obvious."

"No, it's not!" Ashton defends, voice cracking.

Dammit.

"Yes it is. Don't worry. It's okay. But how long have you known about your um...feelings?" Calum asks, getting up and closing the door.

"About a month I guess. I mean I was just always thinking about how attractive he is and how nice he is and...how...kissable he is. But it doesn't matter. Luke's straight. And I'm pretty sure he'd exile me if he knew how I was thinking." Ashton confesses, feeling a lot better. It feels good to get this off his chest. All of this is so confusing. He's never liked a guy before. Girls are amazing, but just the thought of another guy, meaning Luke, kissing him just sends shock waves throughout his body.

"Luke's your best mate. He could never hate you. I have no idea where he stands sexuality wise, but how's about I help ya? Could maybe ask if he likes to taste the rainbow." Ashton starts laughing, hearing a knock on his door.

"Hey, Ash, you okay?" Luke pops in, making him gulp.

"Y-yeah. M'fine. Just tired." Ashton fakes a smile, Calums eyes flickering between the two.

"Right...well...I'll just be...going then. Sweet dreams, Ash." Calum walks to the door, giving Ashton two thumbs up, grinning. Ashton just shakes his head at him, watching Luke sit next to him, slinging an arm over his shoulder.

"What's the matter, Ash? I know something's wrong. I can see right through you." He looks at Ashton with worried eyes. Ashton bites his lip, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach from Luke's arm around him. He almost starts to cry, everything just becoming overwhelming. He shouldn't like his best mate. It's weird.

Why is this happening to me? Why won't it go away?!

"I'm just lonely is all. I just feel by myself all the time." Ashton answers, trying desperately to stray from the main problem; Luke.

"You've got the band! Cal, Mike, and me, we love you loads! There's no reason for you to feel lonely." He pinches Ashton's cheek, making him blush.

Damn you, Luke.

"I just don't like sleeping alone." Ashton mumbles, feeling his cheeks heat up even more.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I'll sleep in here with you tonight." Luke smiles, making Ashton's heart pound against his chest at a rapid rate.

"No. I don't want you to do that just because you feel bad for me." Ashton shakes Luke's arm off, crawling to the head of his bed.

"No, I'm doing it because I feel like it. I'll be right back." He smiles, walking out of the room.

What just happened?

"Well, how'd it go in here?" Calum strides back in the room, smirking. Ashton rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

"He's gonna sleep with me tonight." He says, simply, Calum suggestively smirking.

"Alright, Ash, get some!" He exclaims, patting Ashton's shoulder.

"Not like that, you twat. I told him I was feeling lonely, so he said he'd stay in here with me tonight so I wouldn't feel so alone." Ashton explains, not being able to help the huge smile that spreads across his face.

"Oh yeah and he's totally straight." Calum rolls his eyes, using full on sarcasm.

"You would do the same. And so would Michael. If any of us were feeling down, at least one of us would go and cuddle the shit out of that person until they felt better. Don't lie." Ashton points a finger at Calum, making him sigh. It's true. The boys are known to do anything possible to make someone feel better. Even Michael at times, depending on the person.

"Yeah, you're right." Calum nods. It's not gay. It's not. It's caring. Unless, of course, you happen to love the person you're snuggling.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed." Ashton mumbles, walking into the bathroom, pajama's in hand. He closes the door behind him, starting to strip off his clothes. He easily slips on the new ones, feeling more comfortable. He takes out his toothbrush, wetting it under the warm sink water. He spreads the paste on the brush, runs it under the water one last time, then sticks it in his mouth. He starts humming a random Rihanna song, starting to do a stupid dance.

"Hey, boy, I really wanna see if you can go a long time with a girl like me! Hey, boy, I really wanna be with you 'cause you just my type. Oh na na na na." He starts to sing, his voice muffled from the amount of toothpaste in his mouth. He spits it all out, rinsing his mouth when he hears a voice.

"Is this an annual thing that I just didn't know about?" Luke leans against the door, smirking, shirtless.

Fuck.

"Shut up." Ashton huffs, smiling nonetheless. I mean how can you not smile when Luke fucking Hemmings is shirtless in your presence? They walk to Ashton's room, Luke jumping on the bed.

"Bed time!" He exclaims, arms out, hands grabbing the air like a child. Ashton giggles, climbing under the covers. He turns his back to Luke, biting his lip. There is no way in hell that he can control myself, seeing Luke like that. "Wrong way, Ashton." Ashton shivers as Luke turns him around to face him.

"Dork." Ashton mumbles under his breath.

"You're not alone, Ashton. We're all here for you." He pulls Ashton into his bare chest. He gasps when he feels his fingers gliding across his back. Ashton hums in content.

"I know. I just get doubtful sometimes." Ashton frowns, wishing he could tell Luke the truth. But he can't. He can't lose his friend. He won't let that happen.

"We'll talk more about it tomorrow. Night, Ash." Luke yawns, making Ashton's heart flutter. Ashton doesn't know how he made that attractive, but he did.

"Night, Luke." Ashton snuggles in closer to him, falling into the most comfortable sleep he's had in ages.

~

Ashton wakes up to loud, arguing voices. His eyes blink open as he notices Luke isn't there. He furrows his eyebrows, yawning. He steps out of bed, opening his door, the voices getting louder.

"WHY WOULD YOU HELP HIM?! WHAT THE FUCK?!" He hears Luke's booming voice.

"I WAS TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND!" Calum yells back, making Ashton wince at the loudness of their voices, due to him just waking up. He walks around the corner, bumping into a table. The noise causes both boys' heads whipping in his direction.

"YOU!" Luke growls, pointing at Ashton. He flinches, stepping back.

"M-me?" He asks, shakily. Luke's normally bright eyes are now dark, his fists clenched. He swallows hard as he walks towards him.

"Yes you! You fucking faggot!" Luke shoves Ashton against the wall, gripping his shirt harshly.

"W-what?!" Ashton blinks his eyes a few times, his mind still groggy with sleep.

"I found Calum fucking planning to set me up with you! I know everything, Ashton! I now know that you're a gay freak! Oh my god. I fucking slept in the same bed as you! You planned all that, you cunt!" He slams Ashton back against the wall, making him wince in pain. He looks to Calum with glossy eyes. Calum looks back, feeling extremely guilty. All Ashton's worst nightmares are coming true. This can't be happening right now.

"I-I did-didn't...I didn't m-mean...I didn't mean t-to..." Ashton trails off, feeling the tears well up in his eyes.

"You didn't mean to what? Be a faggot? It's such a fucking shame." Luke shakes his head, letting Ashton's shirt go. How could Ashton do this to him? What if he caught the gay?

"What's a fucking shame is that you're a judemental bitch." The words come out of Ashton's mouth before he can even process them. His eyes widen and Luke growls. Before he can even blink, a stinging sensation fills his lip and Luke's fist. Ashton sees Calum pull Luke back and a drop of blood fall from his mouth. Ashton feels another drop, but it's clear. He starts to cry, sprinting back to his room. He slams the door, locking it, sliding on his back down the cold wood. He starts to sob, frustratingly pulling at his messy locks. He knew this would happen. He knew all hell would break loose if Luke found out. What's going to happen to the band? Will Luke leave?

"I knew this would fucking happen. Now he hates me." Ashton says to himself, slightly rocking in a fetal position. Ashton falls asleep will tear tracks, ignoring the frantic knocks at his door, probably from Calum.

~

When Ashton wakes up, he feels like absolute shit. His head is pounding, his eyes are dry, his back is aching from laying on the cold, hard ground of his bedroom floor. He reluctantly gets up, turning his door knob. He peaks around the corner, searching for anyone that might see him. He slowly makes his way to the kitchen. He see's all of his bandmates laughing, but they all stop once they see Ashton. Luke looks at him with disgust, immediately looking away. Ashton quickly grabs a banana, not looking at anyone.

"Of course he has to pick the gayest fucking fruit." He hears Luke say, making him wince. He just crawls back to his room, trying his hardest to be happy.

~

This goes on for two more months. Ashton stays quiet, only talking when answering a question. During interviews, he fakes a smile. He doesn't self harm, but the thought crosses his mind from time to time. He's started getting a lot of shit on twitter about how he's been 'slacking off' but he's just been depressed with how his so called 'best friends' won't talk to him. So, today he's had enough. He pulls out a piece of paper and a pen and starts to write.

Dear whoever found this letter,

Calum I know it's probably you reading this since you're the one that kind of talks to me. I know you know that Luke hates my guts. I've tried my hardest to deal with it, but when you all turned on me, it hurt. It hurt a lot. I'm sure finding another drummer won't be hard, and I'm sure that this would make all of you happy. I still love Luke with all my heart, even though he smashed it. I don't want any of you to feel bad about this. I guess it was a sign. I love all of you guys. I love the fans too. I'll miss you so much. I'll see you in another time.

Ash xo

Ashton places the note on his bed along with his phone. He puts on his shoes and walks out of the door, holding back the tears as he leaves his house for the last time.

~

Calum, Michael, and Luke walk into the house, all laughing at the stupid things they did when they crashed some random party an hour ago.

"Hold on, I've got to go tell Ashton," Calum laughs, Luke rolling his eyes. "Hey, Ash-" He starts, but finds the room empty. He picks up the note on the bed and starts to read. His eyes widen at the words messily scribbled across the sheet. He starts to tear up, running out of the room and back to the front where Luke and Michael sit on the couch.

"Hey, Cal, what's wr-" Michael asks, noticing the tears falling down his best friend's face.

"Ashton's gone!" He yells, breaking into sobs.

"It's about damn time." Luke scoffs.

"No, you dick! He's gone to kill himself! He's done it because you fucking broke his heart! He fucking loves you!" Calum yells, Luke freezing up. His brain goes fuzzy. He feels like everything is happening in slow motion. Ashton left to kill himself all because of Luke's stupid ass. He feels like someone's ripped out his heart and stomped on it.

"H-how do you know?" Luke asks, shaking.

"This fucking note." Calum throws the note at Luke, Luke's eyes trailing over each word. He can feel himself tear up, trails of liquid falling down his cheeks. But then his brain clicks.

"What time is it?" He asks frantically.

"What does the fucking time have t-"

"What fucking time is it?!" Luke asks again, shouting through choked sobs.

"It's six." Michael answers, reading over the note.

"Is the sun down yet?" Luke runs to the window, seeing the sun almost gone.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Calum shouts, completely breaking down, Michael holding him. Luke doesn't answer, just runs. He knows where to go. He remembers what Ashton said to him.

-Flashback-

Ashton sits with Luke's arm wrapped around his shoulders, watching the sun go down. They were sat at an old cliff down the street from Ashton's house. He felt so happy at this moment. Luke sat, oblivious to the amount of joy his best friend held at the moment.

"I don't mean to be glum, but if I were to kill myself, I'd do it here." Ashton speaks up, making Luke furrow his eyebrows.

"What? Why?" He asks, turning to face Ashton.

"Because it's something different. I wouldn't cut or take pills. I'd want to die, feeling like I was flying. But I'd do it as soon as the sun went down." Ashton answers, making Luke frown.

"Why a specific time?"

"Because the last thing I would have seen, would be beautiful. And I wouldn't feel so scared anymore."

-End of Flashback-

Luke wipes his eyes, so he can see where he's running. He hopes he makes it in time. He runs past the trees, finding the little spot they found a short while ago. And at the edge stands the figure he knew he'd see.

"Ashton, stop!" He screams as loud as he can, the curly haired boy whipping around. He looks wrecked; tears running down his face, hair a mess, and a picture in his hand.

"Luke?" He chokes out, wanting to cry even harder because this is the first time Luke's talked to him and it's overwhelming him.

"Ashton, please don't do this." Luke sobs, walking closer to Ashton.

"Why? So you can treat me like shit some more? So you can push me around? So you can ignore me? Is that what you want?!" Ashton screams, Luke feeling an unbearable wave of guilt run through him.

"No, please, Ashton it's not like that at all! Please stop!" He sobs again, Ashton moving closer to the edge.

"Why do you want me to stop?!"

"Because I care!"

"No, you fucking don't!"

"Yes, I fucking do!"

"Why?!"

"Because I'm in love with you, Ashton!" Luke yells, making Ashton freeze.

"Don-don't screw with my emotions right now, Luke." Ashton gulps, breaking down into sobs.

"Let me prove it. I'll prove it right now if you come down from there." Luke tries, taking in a shaky breath.

"If you're so in love with me, why'd you treat me so horribly? You even punched me. Why?" Ashton asks, taking a step back towards the edge.

"No! Don't. I-I was scared. I was having these weird feelings about you and I was terrified. I knew it was weird, so when I found out you liked me too, I was mortified. It scared the shit out of me. I pushed you away because I thought that if I did, my feelings would go away. But not having you there made me realize that I'm completely and utterly in love with you, Ashton Irwin. And nothing I do will change that. So, please, don't do this. Stay with me. I'm so sorry. I love you." Luke manages to choke out, leaving Ashton breathless.

Ashton sobs, slowly walking away from the edge until he's standing directly in front of Luke. He looks into his wet, blue eyes. As if reading each other's minds, they fall into a loving embrace. Luke keeps clutching at Ashton's shirt like if he doesn't, he'll disappear. Ashton's squeezing Luke for dear life. They're both sobbing, but they've got each other and that's all that matters. They slowly pull apart but not too much. Their noses are almost touching and they can feel the others breath on their faces.

"Luke?" Ashton whispers, looking into the younger boys' eyes.

"Yes?" Luke answers, locking his arms around Ashton's waist.

"Can I kiss you?" Ashton says, barely audible.

"Please." Luke whimpers, pulling Ashton closer. Ashton takes a shaky breath, cupping Luke's cheeks. Luke leans down a bit, being that Ashton's shorter than him. He almost chuckles at that. Their eyes flutter closed. They're nose to nose, Ashton whispering an 'I love you' before pushing his lips against Luke's. It's sloppy and slippery from tears at first, but they soon kiss with neediness and passion. Luke grabs one of Ashton's hands, lacing their fingers together. Luke whines when Ashton pulls away.

"I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me." Luke rambles, Ashton smiling. Luke almost cries, seeing Ashton's smile. It's not as bright as usual, but it's an Ashton smile. And Ashton smiles are always happy.

"I'm never leaving you. Ever. I love you too, Luke. I love you too." Ashton kisses him again, slow and steady. Things won't always be perfect, but they've got each other. And they're happy. And that's all they need.

___________________________

A/N: And there's my first ever Lashton oneshot! I hope you enjoyed this. This was really heavy for me to write. But it ended happy. Comment prompts below for me to satisfy your guilty Lashton pleasures. ;) But seriously. Also check out my Larry Stylinson fan fiction called The Curl Next Door. #shamelesspromoting

Please vote and comment to make my day brighter! I swear I'll love you forever!

Peace out girlscouts! ;D