kiss me like you wanna be loved

Author: louistomlinsons

Summary: Louis doesn't like to stick around and Harry's getting lonely.

Dear Louis,

I've never written anyone a note before. Never had the need to, to be quite honest with you. And I get that this will probably be really weird, but oh well. I couldn't find the words to say it out loud. It's much easier to write, so here goes nothing.

You are the cutest eleven year old I have ever seen in my life, boy or girl.

Hope this makes you smile. (:

-Harry Styles

Harry watches discreetly as Louis reads his note. Louis lets out a feeble laugh, cheeks red. He reads the note aloud, and Harry's classmates begin to tease him. Even Louis taunts him, yelling across the room and calling Harry a disgusting gay boy until the teacher yells at him to stop.

When the bell rings, Louis pulls on the collar of Harry's shirt, holding him back in the classroom. They're the last ones in the room, aside from the teacher. She smiles knowingly, gathers her things, and excuses herself from the room for just a quick second.

Harry's afraid that Louis's going to beat him up or something equally as bad. He cringes when Louis leans in and fists his hand in Harry's favorite jumper. But Louis only leans in so every time he breathes out it tickles Harry's earlobe. He whispers, "Meet me behind the building when the final bell rings...or else."

Though Harry's scared of what Louis plans on doing to him, he's more scared of the 'or else' part attatched.

That's how Harry finds himself leaning against the brick wall that's warm from the sun beating down on it all day. He crosses his arms and tries to appear bigger than he is but he knows it's not working when Louis smirks smugly.

"Are you going to beat me up?" Harry asks, breaking the silence. Louis looks offended by the question and an adorable pout forms on his face. Despite being only eleven, Harry wants to kiss that look off his face. "Because if you are, make it quick because I have to help my mom make dinner."

Louis sighs, sounding way beyond his years. He runs a hand through his hair and then lets it drop to his side again. "No, I'm not going to beat you up. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression earlier, but I have to keep up appearances, and all as you should know. And again I apologize for scaring you. But there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"What is it?" Harry's voice is tentative and timid. He's scared of what it's going to be, afraid Louis's going to tell him to go away forever or something like that.

"Actually, you know, I think it might be easier to show you." Louis leans in and Harry is definitely afraid of what's going to happen now. But he feels Louis' soft lips connect with his and he relaxes. Louis grips Harry's waist, fingernails digging into the soft skin there. He's not sure how Louis is so skilled at this, knowing exactly what he's supposed to do. Harry lets Louis lead the way, lets Louis take over the kiss, dominate Harry.

Louis pulls away and puts his hands on Harry's shoulder, just holding him in place. They stare into the other's eyes for a while before Harry remembers he has to go.

He tells Louis as much and the boy reluctantly lets go of his new curly haired friend. Harry begins to walk away before and idea strikes him and he turns around.

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" Harry asks, brushing his hair away from his face. Louis' face lights up at the question and he nods eagerly. He grabs Harry's hand and entwines their fingers. They walk silently and hand in hand to Harry's house.

They help Anne cook a lovely dinner and Louis whines when his mother comes to pick him up but promises Harry that they'll hang out again sometime.

But it's not Louis ever means what he says anyway, it's his actions you have to take notes on.

- - -

At fourteen years old, Harry can't go a day without thinking of his kiss with Louis Tomlinson. It was good, as far as first kisses go, but he can't help but think if they had kissed again it would have been better. Not that he'll ever know, Louis makes sure to avoid him at all costs.

Actually, everyone seems to avoid Harry since he wrote Louis that note. He used to be quite popular, having a stable group of friends, but everyone's upped and left by now. It's considered social suicide to talk to him now, so he walks the hallways with his head down and eats lunch alone.

He doesn't really care, not really. The silence is pretty much a getaway from how crazy it is at his house, with his mother's home business taking off. And even though he's got no one from school to talk to, his mother always makes time to help him sort out his problems.

Not that he has any real problems, with no friends to create drama for him. And he knows he's gay, so he doesn't need help figuring that out. He just...talks with her. She's become something of Harry's best friend - well, really, his only friend, but technicalities - and he just enjoys being in her presence.

It's during one of these talks where she asks him whatever happened to that Louis boy.

"We only hung out that one time, mom," he explains patiently. She continues to stare at him, confused. "He just...didn't like me, I suppose."

"That's a shame," Anne sighs. She runs her fingers through her hair, lost in thought. "I really thought you two would get along really well. I still talk to his mother, you know. She says whenever you're brought up he either goes silent or changes the subject."

"Well that's great for Louis, mom," Harry says, getting more agitated with every word that comes from her mouth.

"Harry..." There's something in her tone that almost physically pulls his head up to look at her. "What happened, love? I've never gotten the full story."

Harry knows it's inevitable now that he'll have to tell her what really happened. Not the bull shit he's spouted out about them not 'clicking together,' but everything. He takes a deep breath, unsure of how this will turn out.

"Well, the day he came over, I wrote him a note," he begins, figuring the start is as good of a place as any. "I told him that he was cute, I think. I can't remember exactly what was written. But he read it out loud to the entire class, and they all started making fun of me, including him. Finally it got to the point that the teacher told them to be quiet."

Anne makes a sound of sympathy, taking her son's hand in his own. She rubs circles on the back of it with her thumb, hoping and succeeding in calming him down. His breathing is steadying and he continues,

"He held be back in the classroom after the bell rang and told me to meet him out back after school. I was scared but more scared of what he would do if I didn't show. So I went and he grabbed me and kissed me - my only kiss ever, by the way - and then we came home and made dinner. He's not spoken to me since."

"Hmm." Anne sits quietly for a moment, processing this. She removes her hand and stands up, making to leave the room. She stops like she's forgot something and turns around only to say, "Well that doesn't change the fact that they're coming over for dinner," and continues to walk out.

Harry throws his head into his hands and groans. The only way this can end is bad.

- - -

Harry thinks that he's maybe being proved wrong about this being a horrible dinner. Louis is sat next to him, with Anne on his other side. They're laughing and joking and just having an all around good time.

"Harry, why don't you boys go upstairs so Jay and I can talk?" Anne suggests, shooing them away with her hands. Harry glares at her, not really wanting to be alone with Louis. But he's forced to go when Jay agrees and Louis tugs on his arm and pulls him all the way to his room.

It's like a switch flicks in Louis as soon as they enter Harry's room. Harry turns around to ask Louis what he wants to do when he's thrown on to the bed. He lands on his back and doesn't have enough time to recover before Louis is straddling him.

Louis connects their mouths quickly - he's on a mission, apparently. It feels like something they've been doing for years, or at least months. It's so natural to Harry, to be kissing Louis and to be holding Louis. Harry opens his mouth and Louis swiftly enters his tongue.

Every where they touch each other is like fire, burning their skin and only making this hotter. Louis disconnects their lips only to attach it to Harry's neck. Harry takes this time to squeeze Louis' butt, relishing in the fact that there's so much to grab. Moving his hands from Louis' butt to his hips, his pushes his hands under the boy's shirt, feeling the smooth skin there.

Louis pulls away with a popping noise, continuing on and kissing every inch of Harry's face. There's not a spot of skin left uncared for.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Louis says, albeit a little breathless. They're both panting and red-faced and their clothes are a little askew. Harry's hands are still on his exposed hips, rubbing absentminded circles on the skin. "Jesus Christ, Harry, your fucking hands. They just...oh my God, they're so hot."

Harry grins cheekily, moving his hands from Louis's waist to run all over his toned stomach. He pokes his tongue out a little, teasing the boy, and pulls it back in. He smiles crookedly, showing off one of his cute dimples.

"And those fucking lips and your dimples." Louis is running out of breath now, caught between wanting to keep praising Harry's body and wanting to kiss him again. He settles for the former, figuring they'll have time for kissing later. "God you're going to be the death of me, Styles."

Harry's not sure what to say to that, but lucky enough - not really lucky - Jay and Anne knock on the door. Neither of the boys is sure why they're knocking when they don't wait for a reply before they enter the room. Their mothers smirk knowingly from the doorway, both their arms crossed. They're like mirror images of each other, and quite frankly, it's freaky.

"Time to go, Lou," Jay says softly, smiling fondly at Harry who stills lays on the bed. Louis is crossing the room, tugging urgently on Jay's hand. "Bye Anne, dinner was lovely. We'll have to do it again some time!"

Harry is expecting Anne to want to talk to him, so when she doesn't stay, he pretty much considers the whole night a success.

- - -

At seventeen years old, Harry uses his one and only make out session for wank material almost every night.

Harry begins to think Louis's one of those 'kiss and run people.' Again, Louis hasn't talked to him since. This time, Harry's older and understands that maybe Louis' just...scared.

Anne and Jay talk regularly and she sometimes comes over for dinner. Whether that's Louis' doing or something else, Harry can't deny that it hurt his feelings. Whatever it is, there's also a part of Harry that understands. Louis's at the top of the social chain and Harry's at the very bottom.

Harry is startled from his thoughts by a light knock on his door. He knows immediately that it's his mother's knock and rolls his eyes knowing she won't wait for him to answer before opening the door. She's walked in on him getting himself off quite a few times. One would think she'd learn by now, but she obviously hasn't.

"Thank the lord above that you're not naked right now," she says, gratitude written on her face. Harry knows he should probably blush and be all mortified but he can't really bring himself to care. "I mean, it's one thing to know all guys do it, hell, it's one thing to know you do it. But it's another to actually witness it."

"Sorry?" It comes out more of a question and Harry shrugs his shoulders. His mother smiles affectionately, crossing the room to ruffle his hair. Anne sits on the bed next to him and there's silence, but it's not like it's awkward or anything. If anything, it's comfortable, become somewhat of Harry's security blanket.

"Jay's coming over for dinner." Anne finally breaks the silence, looking at Harry to gauge his reaction.

"Okay." Harry's not sure why she's bothering to tell him now. Jay has shown up plenty of times before and it's not like Harry was ready. Quite a few times he was naked and she got quite the eye full.

"And she's bringing Louis." There lies why she's telling him this, then. "I've ordered a pizza and you two can hang out up here and Jay and I will stay downstairs and not bother you."

"Why's he coming, though?" Harry's throat feels dry and like he's can't get enough air in his lungs. Did someone use up all the oxygen, because that's what it feels like.

Anne only shrugs her shoulders and parts his knee before leaving the room, so it's not like she was much help. Harry flops back on his bed with a sigh, his duvet scrunched up and uncomfortable against his back but he's too lazy to fix it.

It doesn't feel like Harry's been laying there all too long before he looks up to the sound of throat clearing and the scent of pizza. Louis's standing there in the doorway, leaning against the frame and holding a pizza box in front of him. The sight and smell combined are enough to make Harry's mouth water.

"Every time I see you, you get more attractive," Louis mumbles, setting the box down on Harry's desk. He stares at Harry for a few seconds, seemingly thinking, before making a decision and crossing the room. Harry's already lying down so all Louis has to do is straddle his lap. "Hi." He smiles sweetly and shyly and Harry blushes.

"Why do you keep ignoring me?" Harry asks, the question slipping out before he can stop it. The comforter that was once bunched under him is now soft and comfortable just because Louis is there.

"I was scared."

It's this comment that makes Harry realize he's not the only one this has been hurting. And he can't stand that 'hurt puppy dog' look on Louis' face so he kisses it off.

The kiss quickly turns passionate and hot and needy. Louis runs his fingers through Harry's hair and tugs. Harry doesn't even bother to fight back a whine, hair tugging being one of his kinks. Not that he'd actually really, truly know what his kinks were because he's only made out with Louis, but whatever.

Louis pulls away from the kiss, spit dribbling down bother their chins. Without thinking, Louis leans down and licks it from Harry's jaw. It might have made it a bit worse, but it seemed to have turned Harry on.

Harry's eyes darken with lust. When the tension in the air is so thick Harry's not sure he can take it any more, Louis rolls them over so he's on the bottom. They resume their kissing, tongues battling and teeth clashing.

Harry grinds down, rolling his hips and trying to create friction. Louis moans, the sound instantly swallowed up by Harry. Now it's just them hopelessly grinding and thrusting against each other, their mouths just happening to be connected.

"Fucking hell, Harry," Louis gets out, throwing his head back against the pillow. He writhes beneath the curly haired boy, continuing to thrust his hips. Harry hisses every time their crotches meet. He decides they're wearing too many articles of clothing and works swiftly on unbuttoning Louis' jeans.

Harry manages to get them undone and pulls them down Louis' legs and to his ankles. He does the same with Louis' underwear and kisses the inside of his thighs. Louis can't help but let out breathy moans.

"Dear God, Harry your fucking lips," Louis gets out, clutching his hands in the sheets. It doesn't even matter that he's wrinkling Harry's favorite sheets - they'll be pretty dirtied here in a minute anyway.

"No, your fucking penis." Harry can't help but stare.

Louis blushes and takes one of his hands to fist in Harry's hair. This seems to bring Harry out of whatever he was in and he goes back to kissing the inside of Louis' thighs. Moving from Louis' thighs, Harry begins to kiss the base of Louis' dick. He licks a thick stripe from the top of the tip, taking the tip in his mouth and sucking on it.

Encouraged by Louis trying to push Harry's head down, he takes more of Louis' length into his mouth. He hollows out his cheeks and works on relaxing his throat so he can take more of Louis into his mouth. Harry begins to bob his head and with each bob of his head, he's able to take more of Louis' dick into his mouth.

Soon enough his nose is pressed against Louis, his dick hitting the back of Harry's throat. It's enough to make him want to come so he uses his fingers still tangled in Harry's hair to pull him back. Harry makes a noise of protest. It's so cute that it makes Louis want to kiss him, so he does.

They pull apart when Harry begins sucking on Louis' lower lip. Louis smirks and Harry blushes, his hair sticking to his damp forehead.

"Where did you learn to give head like that?" Louis asks breathlessly. "You're amazing."

Harry shrugs. "It just came naturally, honestly."

"Hmm," Louis hums. "Well, my dick is still throbbing so can you please, you know, help me?" He winks and bites his lip, wiggling his eyebrows in a not-at-all-but-kind-of suggestive way.

Harry laughs, and maybe that should kill the mood, but it doesn't really. It sort of turns Louis on that Harry's not afraid to...he's not sure where he's going with that. Harry's laugh just really turns him on.

"Do you have anything?" Louis asks, realizing Harry's still wearing his pants. Both of them are wearing their shirts because honestly, it requires too much work to get them off. They just want to feel each other now.

Harry nods and reaches over to open his drawer. He fumbles blindly for the condom packet and lube. He sets them both down on the bed and works on taking off his pants and underwear. Once they're off, Harry uncaps the lube and lathers two fingers in it.

Louis's unsure of where Harry's going with this until Harry begins to finger himself. He's up on his knees, a finger inserted into himself. Louis can't help it when he begins to stroke his length, watching wide eyed. Harry looks beautiful - like he does all the time - pumping his fingers in and out, eyes lidded. He slides another finger in and Louis's sure he could get off on this.

Harry opens his eyes and makes eye contact with Louis, licking his already moist lips. It's got to be the hottest thing ever in Louis' existence.

Harry removes his fingers, taking Louis' dick and lining it up at his entrance. Inching onto it, he mumbles, "It should feel weird doing this, while our mothers are downstairs."

"You're honestly thinking about my mother at a time like this?" Louis asks in a teasing tone. He goes to wink but suddenly he finds it difficult to do anything but moan as Harry is around him. "Oh my god, you're so fucking tight."

"Well obviously I would be if I've never done this before," Harry says back defensively.

"Not a bad thing," Louis manages to get out before he moans again. Harry begins bouncing up and down, Louis' dick sliding in and out of him. Louis puts his hands on Harry's hips, pushing his shirt up a little to expose the boy's hips. He rubs circles there.

Louis begins to push Harry down as he thrusts upward. They moan simultaneously and Louis takes it as a sign to continue. They know they're not going to last long.

Harry grips Louis with one hand and begins to pump his length with his other. It's not long before Harry is spilling all over himself and Louis. Harry tightening around Louis is what causes him to go over the edge, seeing white and digging his fingernails into Harry's hips.

Harry gets off of Louis, rolling over and cuddling into his side. They've got come all over their shirts and it smells like a mixture of pizza and sex, but neither really cares.

"Promise you won't leave me this time," Harry mumbles, pressing kisses to Louis' temple. "I'm not sure I could deal with it."

It breaks Louis' heart, the fact that he's been hurting Harry this whole time. "I promise." It's worth it, to say that, to see Harry's smile. Louis's always admired Harry's smile, how his cheeks dimple and his eyes light up. "I won't leave you anymore."

While Louis and Harry are having a love fest upstairs, Anne and Jay are downstairs scarred for life.

"I thought it was bad when we walked in on them making out," Jay says, trying not to gag. She picks up her tea with shaking hands and takes a sip.

Anne nods in agreement. "Well at least they're getting along."

"I'd say they're doing a bit more than getting along..." The two laugh weakly and try to block out the sounds as Harry and Louis apparently go for 'round two.'

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