Hi my favorite people!

i finally updated i know took me a while, if theres anyone still reading.

this is dedicated to @aL_styles_tomlinsonn who is one of the best people ever, and idk where i would be without them, ily sm my love, thanks for the suggestion.

ALSO WHY TF IS 1D'S MUSIC SO FKN GOOD I CANT!! missing them a bit more tdy <3

anyway i hope you enjoy x

Louis pov:

The stupid pap pics. They haunt me. They shouldn't but they do. Haz and I have been together for 12 years now. You would think that this means they would let us come out, our management. But now they are old, bitter homophobes, who dont give a fuck about us, just our money. I don't wanna cry, because the tears are here to stay. I know he would never cheat on me, I know this, but it just hurts, because I want to be holding his hand down the street, dancing with him in the daylight, and holding him in the night. The door shuts quietly and Harry walks in shoulder slumped, and his face tired.

"Hiya Lou," He says softly, and comes to sit next to me on our soft, comfy couch, worn out and loved that's what Harry says.

"Watcha looking at?" he says, peering over my shoulder to glance at my phone screen, his face scrunches up at the pap pics of him and Olivia.

"Baby why are you looking at this?" He says voice firm.

"I just... I don't know Harry, I was just getting overwhelmed, and I-I," I can't finish my sentence because I don't know what to say.

"Lou, why do you do this to yourself? Why are you hurting yourself?" He says standing up, running his fingers through his curly hair.

"Because Harry, this shouldn't be hurting me, I should be getting frustrated that the paps taking pictures of us while we are in public, not hurting because I'm seeing you with someone else!" I exclaim.

"God, you think this is easy Lou? You think I don't want to scream at the top of my lungs that you're mine?" He says back.

"No I know that H, Jesus I know that! It's just I'm so fucking tired of this! I'm so tired of pretending, rehearsing these lines of plain bullshit!" I say, so sad, and frustrated.

"You think I want to be portrayed like this? Like some object, a womanizer?" his voice rising, and eyes full of pain.

"Obviously not Harry! But it's not like my stunt life is any easier! People think I'm going to get married to Eleanor, because they can't see the ring already on my fucking finger!" I yell, tears flowing down, and I yank my wedding ring out from under my t-shirt, it's hanging from a gold chain, instead of sitting on my finger where the whole world can see. My husband runs and holds me. I hug him tight, small against his tall body, Harry arms wrapped around me and he kisses the top of my head repeatedly, soothing me. Needing to say no words. It seemed as if we stayed like this for hours.

"You gotta show soon Lou..." I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay like this forever, so I just buried my head deeper into his chest.

"I'm sorry Hazza," I mumble into his chest.

"There is no reason to be sorry bub, don't apologize okay? You haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry that I can't give you that freedom love," He says, pulling away from me and looking into my crystal blue eyes.

"Don't ever say that Haz, life is 1000 times better now that you're in it okay? Will be able to come out, soon I know it," I saw cupping his face.

"Maybe sooner than we think," He mumbles, I kiss him on those plump lips, lingering a little longer than I should.

"I gotta go do the soundcheck Haz," I say, pulling away from him.

"Okay, okay I'll see you at the show?" he asks me softly.

"I better see you in the front row, well, in the VIP box," I say, my whole mood going down again.

"Hey, sooner than you think boobear, I'll be screaming louder than all of your fans put together," this makes me chuckle, he will forever make me smile.

"Sounds like a deal Hazza, okay I really gotta go now bye love," I kiss him on the lips and hug him one more time for good measure.

"Bye darling," he says. Nothing can separate the two of us.

****

"Okay for this next song I'm going to need you all to help me out with this, scream the lyrics here for me, this is Habit," I wait for the intro to begin but instead I hear a guitar, a soft strum, of a song I know all too well. My head snaps in the way of the guitar and I see the one man who has been hiding with me for too long. He walks out on the stage smiling so wide, that his dimples are popping out, his raspy voice taking the dead silent arena.

"I got a heart and I got a soul believe me I wanna use them both. We made a start, be it a false one I know, baby I don't want to feel alone." The arena screams louder than I've ever heard. I just stand there in shock, my baby is singing at my concert, holy fuck.

"So kiss me where I lay down my hands pressed to your cheek, a long way from the playground," He continues to sing and walks towards me giving me a reassuring smile, he then turns to the crows, who are all in shock, holding up their flags.

"I have loved you since we were 18," He sings, with so much passion, I have fallen in love with him all over again.

"Long before we both thought the same thing, to be loved and to be in love, all I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you, oh-oh I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18," He sings, holding my hand, we are doing this, fuck, I've waited so long to do this and were doing it, all those long nights, all those stunts, all the times when we couldn't stay in the same hotel, we are free.

"We took a chance, god knows we tried, yet all along i knew we'd be fine," I sing with him, our voices singing in harmony, Harry hands his guitar to someone side stage and wrapped one arm around my voice, twisting me to just look at him, both holding microphones.

"So pour me a drink, oh love, let's split the night wide open. And we'll see everything we can, livin love in slow motion, motion, motion. "So kiss me where I lay down my hands pressed to your cheek, a long way from the playground," The crowd now quietens, this is my part but it seems Harry, has other plans, he grabs a pride flag, that has been thrown on stage and wraps it around both our shoulders, my smile is so wide, as a look out onto the sea of supporting people and rainbow lights, and then the most beautiful voice comes through.

"I HAVE LOVED HIM SINCE I WAS 16," He scream-sings, and tears spring to my eyes.

"LONG BEFORE WE BOTH THOUGHT THE SAME THING," He continues, a stream of happy tears down his face, so i take over.

"All I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you, oh-oh I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18, I wanna love like you made you made me feel when we were 18,"

"I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18/16," We sing together. Always together. The crowd cheers, they don't know I've waited all my life to do this, I kiss Harry, it's salty from our tears, but shows how much love we have for each other, now and forever. We pull apart and Harry lifts the microphone up to his lips,

"Hi I'm Harry," His deep voice booming through the microphone, everyone chuckles, including me.

"So in case you haven't realized me and Lou are together, and we have been for over 12 years now," he begins.

"I think they got that Haz," I say jokingly, he glares at me in a playful manner but continues anyway.

"We have waited too long to come out and I can't imagine going through this journey with anyone else. Louis Tomlinson you mean too much to me, and I want to shout it off the rooftops how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I don't care what people say when we're together and at the end of the day you are forever the one I want, only you." The crowd is silent, and I feel as if my biggest fears have come true, but then people start cheering, and people start crying, and people start yelling about how much they support and love us.

"Well I don't have a speech prepared like my beautiful boy," I say making Harry blush, I just hold his hand tighter.

"But I can finally do this," I grab out my wedding ring and slide it onto my finger.

"We found our way through the dark. Without this man I wouldn't be here where I am today, and you are truly my soulmate Harry Tomlinson. The script was written and we couldn't change a thing, but love always comes through in the end" I say smiling at Harry. As if on time streamers burst through the room and fly everywhere, there green and blue. I looking at Harry with an amused smirk but he looks confused. We turn our heads to the side stage and see Niall, Zayn, and Liam standing there with wide smiles, and giving us a thumbs up.

"Hey Haz," I whisper cupping his face.

"Yeah Lou?" He asks quietly.

"You're here with me," I say, more tears falling down my face.

"It's like I pictured it," He says speaking, with so much emotion. And I smile because

We made it.

Okay wowowow.

Kinda loved it, not sure mixed emotions tho.

thoughts? feedback?

anyway please make sure you are taking care of yourself.  make sure to eat and drink something today/tonight.

if you have any suggestions im so open to them.

i love you all

tpwk babes x