hi my loves,

sorry for not posting, but i had zero inspo, abahaba

harrys house is fkn beautiful and amazing so go stream it <3

enjoy the chapter it's a long one, love you all xxx

2015 vibes

Harry's Pov:

You have got to be kidding me. He is out again, it's 1 in the morning and I don't even get a message to say 'hey i'm not coming home till late' or 'don't stay up.' Nothing, just a simple "Gotta a stunt Haz, see ya." We are married for Christ sake, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of touring, and recording, doesn't he realize how much I need him? How much I miss him? I barely even see him anymore. And here I am. Just sitting on the couch, seeing hundreds of pap pics with her. You would think after years of stunts it would hurt a little less, to see him with someone else. But the thoughts keep coming back, the doubts, the worry, the fear that he will leave me. He spends no time with me at all, everytime I try to connect with him, try and talk I get nothing, not to mention he's not doing well either. He comes home drunk or high every night, after the stunts, He says it's how he copes, to be honest I don't think he's coping. But how can I help him? He won't let me, fuck I need him. Then the door slams, my head snaps towards his direction.

"Lou?" I ask.

"Hazzaaaaaa," He drawls, stumbling down the hallway. I sigh, drunk again.

"Come on Lou, let's get you to bed," I say going towards him.

"Nah I think I'm going to sleep rightttt here," he smiles and sinks to the floor fast asleep. I pick him up with ease and carry him to the room, undress him and get to sleep.

"Goodnight Boo, I love you," I'm just greeted by a snore, I sigh again, defeated. I scooch all the way over to my side of the bed, not in the mood to cuddle, and fall into a restless sleep.

Next morning:

I wake up bright and early; we have a big day ahead in the recording studio. Me and Lou can probably cuddle while we wait, God I miss him. Recording isn't my favorite thing, but Louis is, so it's okay. I get up and open the blinds, the sun streaming through. It makes me smile.

"For God's sake Harry, close the blinds, my head is banging," Louis groans, throwing a pillow over his head. Harry. Ouch, that hurts, he never calls me that.

"Sorry Lou," I whisper, and close the blinds.

"Haz," he croaks. I look up.

"Can you get me some medicine? My head is pounding," I sigh, go get the medicine, a glass of water and go shower. The warm water rushes down my body, but even this won't loosen up my tense muscles. Why is this so hard? Why does he do this? I just want it to be us again. Louis and Harry, Harry and Louis, but does he?

I hope out of the shower and get changed, into a gray t-shirt and black skinny jeans. I walk out of the wardrobe and see Louis sitting on the bed reading something on his phone.

"You right there Lou?" His head snaps up.

"Oh yeah just tired, don't worry love," He says smiling, then walking straight to the shower. Not even a kiss good morning. God, does he even love me anymore? I go down to our kitchen to make some tea and toast, as Louis walks down the stairs.

"Thanks love, just letting you know I'm not coming to the recording session today," He says, shoving a piece of toast in his mouth. My face falls.

"Oh, why?" My voice sounds defeated.

"Management wants me to do some pap thing, God Harry don't be so clingy," He says going on his phone. I have had enough.
"Fuck you Louis," I say and walk out the door with my keys in my hand and slam the door shut. Tears roll down my face, I just want my Lou back.

I came home after a long day at the recording studio. Management won't stop, wont stop breathing down our necks. I'm so tired. It's quiet when I'm coming home, and I'm on my own, because he's never here. I sit on the couch defeated, and the door opens.

"Harry?" He questions.

"Yes Louis, what do you want?" I'm angry now.

"For God's sake Harry, why are you pissed?" He asks

"Really Louis? Why am I pissed? Maybe it's because you don't care about me anymore? How you completely brush me off every single day?" I say, standing up off the couch yelling.

"Don't you know what I'm going through, Harry? I'm so fucking tired, mangement is constantly breathing down my neck and your'e complaining about how I never spend time with you?" He roars back.

"For goodness sake Tomlinson I'm your fucking husband, it wouldn't kill you to say good morning once in a god damn while!" I say yelling.

"Harry, I don't have time for that! Cant you fucking see that or are you blind?"

"I feel like you're leaving me!" I scream tears coming to my eyes.

"GOD A DIVORCE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE AND AWFUL THING RIGHT NOW!" His face drops, and realization sinks into us both. I backed away towards the door, he just confirmed all my doubts that I've been having for the past month.

"No Haz, I didn't mean it, come on we can talk about this. Baby I'm so sorry," He says in a soft voice. I feel trapped; I need to get out.

"I-I need to go," I grab my keys and run, and just keep driving.

Louis Pov:

I can't believe how much of an idiot I've been. I let Harry slip through my fingers. God, I hurt him so badly. I just want him home, because home isn't really home without Harry.

"Ring ring"

"Hello, Louis Tomlinson speaking?" I ask into the phone, the unknown number worrying me.

"Mr. Tomlinson, yes I'm very sorry to inform you that your husband has been in a severe car accident and is in a critical condition," The woman on the line says. My heart drops. No. not my Harry, they must have the wrong number.

"What hospital?" I say, barely make it out as a whisper.

"St Eliza Hospital, on One Direction street." The woman says.

"Okay thank you," I say, hanging up, I feel like my legs can't move, so I call someone I haven't spoken to in a long while.
"Louis?" The voice questions.

"Zaynie, please help me Harrys been in a car crash I-I," I can't even finish my sentence before I start sobbing.

"Shit Lou, okay I'm coming," He hangs up, and I don't move. I need to but I can't. Not Harry, not the man who makes me smile every time he walks into a room. Not the man who I can't live without. Not the man who I devoted my life to. And fuck, we weren't even talking, I've been such a shitty husband and now he could be- no he's okay, he has to be, I need him to be. Someone rushes in and I see it's Zayn,

"Come on Lou, we gotta get to Harry," Something knocks me into my senses, and a longing shoots through my chest, and we both run out the door. Zayn definitely broke a couple of driving rules along the way, but the only thing I could think of was Harry, Harry, Harry. The car stops, and I bolt out to the the reception,

"Excuse me, I'm here for Harry Tomlinson," I say impatiently, my eyes red and puffy, and my heart full of pain.

"Sorry sir you are not able to see him, he's in a critical condition," I feel anger rise in me. I'm about to yell at her, scream in her face, but Zayn interrupts me.
"He will be going in, because that is his husband. So I suggest you tell us the room number otherwise we are going to have more issues than we already do." He says sharply. The lady's face looks scared.

"Room 228," she stutters, and I run. I get to the door but a doctor stops me.

"I'm sorry sir but you can't go in there, they are completing emergency surgery," Tears spring to my eyes.

"B-but I need to see him, I'm his husband," I stutter out.

"I know and I'm sincerely sorry, but you're going to have to wait," The doctor says. Zayn guides me to the seating area and we wait. I'm anxiously bobbing my leg.

"Louis, he's going to be alright," Zayn says, giving my shoulder a reassuring shake.

"What if he's not Zayn? I hurt him so bad, what if he's-," I cut myself off, because can't think of that, not now, not ever.

"Louis, he's a fighter, he'll be alright." Zayn says and gives me a hug. The doctor walks out of the room, and my head snaps up.

"Mr Tomlinson?" He questions.

"Yes that's me," I say standing up, whipping my hands against my jeans.

"I just would like to inform you on Mr Tomlinon's condition before you go in to see him, family only," He says, referring to Zayn.

"Go on, I'll wait," Zayn says, looking tired and equally worried, Harry and him are best mates. I walk over to the doctor, and we both begin to walk to the room.

"Now he suffered from internal bleeding, broke two ribs, fractured his elbow, and has some very severe bruising, he is also in a coma," The doctor explains stopping outside his door. My heart sinks even further.

"Will he be okay, though?" I ask, because that's all I care about.

"It's up to him now," He says and opens the door. I walk into the room and see Harry lying on the hospital bed, he looks small and fragile. Bandages and bruises cover his body, and wires are attached everywhere.

"Oh Hazza." I whisper. I rush to his side and hold his hand. Tears for the 100th time that night fell down my face.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

It's been four days, and Haz hasn't woken up. I haven't moved from his side only to use the bathroom and shower. Anne, Gemma, and the boys have come multiple times, they keep telling me I should get some rest. But how can I? The love of my life isn't right by my side. For a second it hits me, this is how Harry felt for a month, I wasn't there for him when he needed me. I hold onto his hand like my life depends on it and just sit. Harry's hand moves, fuck I must be imagining, been in this hospitol to long.

"Lou," he croaks out, and my body moves at lightning speed.

"Haz? Oh my God, Hazza," I try to hold it in, my emotions all over the place.

"Lou, where am I?" He asks.

"You at the hospital baby, do you remember anything?" I ask him worried.

"The last thing I remember is us arguing and you saying you wanted a divorce and then I left. Please don't leave me Lou," He whimpers and I lose it.

"God no Hazza, baby never. I've been stupid and selfish, and was so blind that I couldn't see how I have been neglecting you. Harry, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I can't imagine my life without you. You are my reason to get up in the morning, and you are the reason I am the person I am today. I am so, so sorry please, forgive me love," I look at him with pleading eyes.

"Of course I forgive you Lou, I love you," he crokes out, I respond with a tender kiss on the lips. God I've missed him, it's like half of me was missing.

"I'm going to go get the doctor okay?" I say getting up towards the door. I walked in a couple minutes later with the doctor.

"He should be all good to go in a couple of days," the doctor says.

"Okay thanks so much," I say,

"How are you feeling love?" I ask.

"Like absolute shit, but I'll be alright," He says, giving me a weak smile. My face falls a bit, and guilt pools in my stomach.

"Hey no, I know that look this isn't your fault," He says.
"But if I hadn't been so selfish than you wouldn't be here,"

"This is not your fault Louis, I can promise you that." He says, trying to give me a hug but failing because of the pain. I'm about to say how sorry I am when a crowd of family walks in. It's the boys, Gemma, Anne, and Robin, along with the whole Tomlinson crew. I smile because they're all here for Harry.

"You're okay my darling," Anne says rushing towards him, everyone begins to crowd around him asking if he's alright. His dimples pop out, and all the love.

"Guys he's alright, the doctor says he needs rest," I say for him. Everyone nods and begins to talk amongst themselves in the hospital room.

"I love you," He whispers in my ear.

"Guess what?" I whisper back, he gives me a questioning look.

"I love you more," I say smiling, and his grin widens.

Harry's Pov:

Louis spent the next month making it up to me. I told him I was fine multiple times, but I can tell he still feels guilty. He explained how management was being awful to him, telling him to be less gay, and forcing him to go on pap walks and event almost all the time. He also explained how they threatened to end my career if he told me, which all added up. I wake up the next morning with the sun streaming in. It's a recording day today, which means Lou and I can spend the whole day together. Louis is spooning me, and he wakes up and begins to hover over my face, and kisses me on the lips, ignoring the morning breath.

"Morning beautiful," He says in a raspy morning voice.

"Morning Lou-bear," I say. We get up and shower. I went down to our kitchen to make tea and toast, as Louis walked down the stairs.

"Aww thanks Haz," he says, popping a piece of toast into his mouth and kissing my cheek, spreading toast crumbs all over me.

"Louuuuu," I say giggling.

"What can I say, love? You are too beautiful to resist." He says resting his hands on my waist. And I smile because I could never lose my Lou.

A/N wowow

uhm idk if i liked this at all, but oh well

thanks if you read this cos it means a lot xx

make sure you take care of yourselves because you are worth it <3

tpwk babes xx