He was gone. He wasnt mine anymore. I had lost him. The love of my life was getting married and it wasnt to me.

Louis Tomlinson was getting married and I was one of his best man.

I ,along with all the larries, thought that when Louis would annouce his marriage it would be to me. We were all wrong.

Louis had propose to Danielle at September 27,2016. Imagine my pain when i woke up the next day and saw it all over the news. Yeah it was a great anniversary gift. Can you sense the sarcasm?

Even though he got engaged there he took a long time to plan the wedding. During that time we would still have our little rendezvous. But instead of being together like old times we spend it arguing. He would get mad because i had my movie co-stars over to rehearse and i would get mad because he was engaged. The difference between oyr arguements was that when i had to kiss another person it was part of a movie screen, when he kissed danielle i could tell he didnt hate it completely.

Finally the dreaded day came. It was the wedding day. December 30th 2017.

Niall had come over the night before and i cried all day. I really thought our love was strong enough to conquer anything. But thats difference between a lovely fairy tale and a harsh reality. Our love didnt triumph, the managment won.

I woke up and grabbed the whisky bottle on my nightstand. Niall wasnt in the bed next to me. He was probably at the church. "Fucking traitor"

I got up and fixed the wedgie my underwear was giving me. I took a swing of liquor and looked at my reflection in the mirror on the wall. My once curly flowy long hair was now tangled dull and knotted. My once lively green eyes were dark and dead. My dimples hadnt made an appearance in a while.

I downed half of the bottle as if it were water. Enjoying the burn spreading down my throat. Im not an alcoholic i just drink to kill whats killing me.

I laughed bitterly at my reflection. I started dialled Louis phone. It was now or never.

"Haz, where are you the wedding is in less than 3 hours . you are my best man and-"

"Shut up louis and listen " i put the phone on speaker and grabbed the guitar thankful for niall teaching me how to play it.

"Give me love like her,
'Cause lately I've been waking up alone,
Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I'd let them go,

And that I'll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, give me love,

Give me love like never before,
'Cause lately I've been craving more,
And it's been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go,

You know I'll fight my corner,
And that tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover.

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (love me, love me, love me).

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love, love me),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love).

My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love."

"Ha..haz you know we cant. Is in the contract i love you so so much but..we cant be together.."

I cut him off and hang up. I really thought that was gonna work. In all the fanfics i read after the person sings to the one they love they live happily ever after.

I open the twitter app and look at my notifications.

"@Loufuckshazza6969: seriously they are still with this pr stunt. #freelarry

"@Bottomhazza: wait how will danielle and the jungleworms enter the chapel dont witch burn when they touch holy ground? #getchurcameraout #freelarry"

The last one made me laugh so i favorite it not caring about the consequences. Not anymore. And to make it worse i decide to let myself tweet my feelings.

"I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be someone"

But i wasnt done oh hell no i wasnt about to let that bitch take louis without a fight.

"Oh what a shame....havent you people heard of closing the damn door?"

I turned the phone off knowing it would start blowing up and decided to take a shower.

As I was showering the razor caught my eyes. I picked it up shaved my stubbled then i saw my hair. Louis always loved that it was so long. He loved playing with it but he wasnt mines anymore so why keep it? I looked for the scissors and started to cut it all as tears mixed with water fell down on my back.

"You left me...what happened to staying strong? What happened to even as young as we are? What happened to being the oops to my hi! You fucking fool!"

I wash my hair for any residue and get out. I look so different. I cut any part that isnt even and get dressed. I wear some flowery pattern outfit and only buttoned a couple of buttons and put cologne. I put my old worn boots and grab my phone and keys before heading out. I put my, no louis, sunglasses and brace myself.

I walk through the lobby expecting screams and alot of tugging. But nothing i walked and the girls didnt recognize me. It wasnt till i smiled that some saw my dimples and started to scream. But these scream seemed different. I blame the short hair.

"Wheres the air?" "Lord yeesus help me im shot" "Wheres the chill?" "Yall invited to my funeral!!" "If someone finds my oxygen send it my way okay thanks"Comments of the fans were thrown all over. I climbed on my car and drove away.

I saw that louis had left his pack of cigarette and took one. I never smoked before but today has been alot of firsts.

I lit it and took a drag. It took a couple drags to get use it. I saw the church and parked in the lot. I grabbed some gum and crushed the cigarette on the floor.

As i walked where the bride and groom rooms were getting ready at i heard a commosion and lottie walking out looking pissed off.

"Well i dont care Fizzy this is just a big show and just cuz this will be the only time that bitch gets married doesnt mean she can boss me around seriously Harry wouldnt had become bridezilla. " She turn and looked at me and gasped.

"True i wouldnt had become bridezilla but maybe groomzilla yes." I smiled my lip quivering a bit but i held the tears back.

"Oh harry your hair. Is all gone. The fans are gonna freak out." she hugged me and pulled back. "By the way the groom by really is a whore"

"Oh you saw my tweet? Well is just a song " i smirked.

"I think everyone in the world saw that tweet. Lets just say the larries well they are dead thanks to that. And Danielle became even bitchier than before." I listen but my eyes wandered when a door opened behind me and a higher but rough voice that i heard many times before spoke up.

"Lottie whats the commosion? And who is this? This is family allowed only."

I turned around and looked at him. "Well i was once your whole world" His eyes widen with realization and he covered his mouth.

I took in his appearance and he looked perfect. He was wearing the pants from his moms wedding and a gray ,tight blazer. His hair had a cinamon swirl.

Lottie smirked and left back to where the bride was.

"Hey loubear. I missed you " I slowly walk up to him and he smiles "Hazza your hair..is all gone"

"Yeah i thought i needed a change. " i ppen the door and push him in the room gently.

He soon kisses me and i kiss back. We let our emotions into the kiss. Soon the alarm on his phone went off and he pulled back.

"5 minutes till show time haz."

"Lou lets run away.-" "haz no we ca-" "No lou we can pretend we die and we have enough money to fake our deaths. We can change our name and change our face" i looked at him but saw his mind was all set.

"Modest controls our money. They wouldnt let us. I have to marry her" he moved and walked towards the door. "Im sorry haz"

The wedding happened. It was my dream wedding but sadly i wasnt the one saying i do. I was the best man watvhing it happen.

After the ceremony was over i went back to the hotel and decided to skip the after party. I spend the night watching stupid love films.

I was watching bubble and the part where Jake's character interrupts the wedding came up. He started the speech about how he rather spend one minute with the girl than his whole life in his bubble away from her. What a load of bullshit"You are a liar!! " i threw the bottle of wine at the tv and was met with silence as tv broke.

"Now you done it harry" i thought to myself. I was about to call the reception to tell them i broke the tv when i heard some banging from the room next door.

Great just what i needed, a horny couple next door. Well i wasnt gonna take it. I let many people walk over me and i was gonna put a stop to it.

I walk next door and start banging on the door. I hear a small commotion inside before the door opens and the last person i expect opens the door.

Louis.

He was on his boxers and his smile falls into a caught guilty look.

"Haz..i uh what are you....what ...i mean" he looks around and steps out.

"Y-you are fucking her?" i can feel my voice break. I feel a knot on my thtoat. "This was suppose to be a stunt...but it all makes sense...you are so keen on marrying her..."

I step back as he walks towards me "No..haz is not what it seems let me expla..-"

"No! I had it enough with your lies and you playing me ! I had it up to here. I just take it and take it and i smile through the pain but i havent been truely happy for a while because of your little "stunts" louis. I dont ever want to see you again"

"No harry please i can change you dont understand whats going on. Forgive me. Please what can i do to make you smile again. Ill do anything to make you my happy harold again please just tell me . " He turned me around and cupped my face. His blue eyes glossy. They were always so beautifully blue.

"Anything ? Youll do anything i ask?" he nods and caresses my cheek "Yes Harry anything."

And the next thing i said will forever haunt me because i let anger control me. "Just kill yourself you bastard. Maybe just then you will stop making so many stupid decisions that end up in me being hurt"

My voice was cold and filled with hatred. I pushed him away and went back to my room. I cried myself to sleep that night. But that night while i was sleeping the love of my life granted me a wish. A wish i didnt really want. Because when i woke up i was greeted with the news saying
"Louis Tomlinson commited suicide on wedding night"

To be continued...