Also yes this song is for getaway from mtmte if anyone is fan of that, please tell me! I need to converse with some of them cause I can hardly find them here!

Lances pov

Everyone believes that lotor is such a good person, that he has had a change of heart.

They think because he tore his mighty sword through his fathers chest that he now has a different outlook on life....but I believe.....I believe, he enjoyed it. I believe he was just waiting for the perfect moment to justify his sadistic actions and when he had one, he took it and reveled in every glorious moment. I believe, every time he closes his eyes he can see the terrified look on his fathers face, as he lays his head down to sleep he can still hear the squish of his fathers insides, he can hear the finally breath from his fathers mouth, he can feel the struggle of tearing his sword through the soft warm flesh of his father....and smiles....

I believe he is now trying to tear us down....or at least tear me down...

Time skip

Keith's pov

I hear a muffled voice coming from the training room and get closer to it. Soon I can hear words as I stand right outside the door.

"You worthless paladin! So pathetic! One day the others will see your flaws in a bright glowing light, and they will turn there backs on you. They will heave heavy sighs at the new outlook of their careless actions, they will regret that they ever chose you, and with pleading looks they will turn to me, they will beg me to take your place....and I will humbly accept."I hear lotors voice say. I suck in a breath of air and clench my fists at his treacherous words. I hear the door start to open and I scramble to get down the hallway and out of sight. Soon I hear his footsteps fade and hear one sniffle escape from the empty room. I walk back to the room and see the boy in blue standing there his face cold and devoid of expression, tears dripping off his expressionless face and his eyes seem to be staring off into the distance.

"Lance?"I ask out into the soundless room breaking the false sense of peace from the quite and he turns his head to look at me.

"Kieth?!"he says, and a warm smile fills his face, it....unnerved me....how his once emotionless face filled with joy and a smile a little to wide took place. He voice filled with a warmth, and you never could have guessed how dead he looked a few seconds ago.

"You okay man? I-I heard what lotor said, we should go tell the team."I say, lances face stays in a smile, but his smile grows wider and his eyes seem to shimmer.

"No, no it's fine."he says in a reassuring tone.

"Lance, the team really need to know ab-"

"Stop, no one will know. I can handle this, the moment when I can no longer take on his flimsy words will be the day you can do something about it. Until then, you can shut the hell up."lance says through clenched teeth, his eyes wide and pupils small.

I feel my bottom lip get pulled down and I step back slightly.

"Okay..."I mutter and lance gives a curt nod his face going back to his normal happy look and he walks out of the room a skip to his step. I watch skeptically as he leaves and walk back to my room to contemplate what I had just seen....

——————

It seemed to be getting....worse.

No matter what happened lance refused to get help, even going to the point of threatening me. I grew scared of the boy. His happy look plaques my thoughts. He snapped at people much faster now, and while training he would mutter words under his breath, if you could catch some of the words you would hear insults.

Weak

Useless

Stupid

Place holder

Every time I walk in on lance training a wild smile would be on his face with his eyes wide and pupils small once more, his mouth moving quickly muttering insults and tears streaming down his face, but in the end he would go back to normal...I'm....I'm scared.

I lock my door at night now, when ever lance holds weapon I keep my guard up. I've brought up telling the team but last time I did he had pinned my to the floor and held a gun to my head with a wide smile and crazed eyes, till I finally said I wouldn't and he backed off his face going to normal and he acted as if nothing happened.

Lotor must have done a number on lance, he was missing a sense of self, he no longer could function properly and he was becoming more of a reliability then a protector. I honestly didn't know how much longer he could go without the team knowing.

Lances pov

"I knew you would snap, you would crack under my over bearing fist. Now look at you so pathetic, so unstable....it won't be long before I have your place in voltron."lotor says from above me, I was on my back as lotor stood from up above, his sword out as if he was willing to tear through my own skin. I feel the my sharp knife in my pocket and fight every urge I had to pull it out and strip him of his skin.

"Please..."I whimper out and grab his sharp blade, the sides of it cut through my hands, but the pain didn't seem to make much of an effect. I knew I was coming undone, I had flashes of time where I couldn't seem to remember what happened, the toxic words lotor fed me each day seem to be the only thing my brain could think about.

"End me...please put an end to this."I say and pull his blade closer to me, he gives me a sneer and rips his blade out of my grasp cutting through my hands.

"You think I would give you a gift, that I would be so gracious was to put you out of your misery."lotor says, he crouched down to my level and gives me a smile.

"I'm here to watch your down fall, it will be written all over the history books of how the blue paladin either killed his team, or himself, and they will tell story's of how the hero lotor saved the team from the demon they had let among their ranks."lotor said. I felt tears start to fall over my eyelids, and my bottom lip quivered. Lotor stood up and started backing away, I got on my bleeding hands knees and attempted to chase after him only able to grab a part of his coat crying, and begging him not to do this.

"Please, please, please. If you have any mercy, if you have any form of a soul in the cold chest of yours....you'd, help me. PLEASE!"I shout and cry, but he pulls his coat out of my grip and leaves the room my blood staining his clothes and the floor. I bring my bloody palms to my face and cover my eyes in the open wounds as my salty tears fall into the bloody crevices in my skin, I curl into a little ball and cry....

Keith's pov

I walk into the training room and see lance on the floor in a little ball, blood and water surrounding him.

"Lance?!"I shout and get closer to him.

"Yes Keith?"he asks looking up at me, a wide shaky smile on his face, tears falling from his eyes and blood surrounding them from his hands, some blood falling from around his eyes like tear drops. His smile looks so strained and his eyes look so dull.

"You need help."I say. Lance frantically shakes his head.

"Yes Keith thank you, finally someone who will help me."lance says and he stumbles to stand up. Thank god he'll let me help. He shoves his bayard in my hands and it forms into his gun, he stands in front of the barrel a proud smile on his face.

"Lance?! This is not what I meant, I will not....i-i will n-not k-k....."I try to speak but my own tears cut my off.

"Come on keith won't you help an old friend out?"he says a deranged look in his eye. I was about to put the gun down but once he sees me start to make the movement he starts to panic.

"No! No! Stop! Don't you drop that gun!"he shouts, I bring the gun closer to me in fear of his next actions.

"I won't shoot."I say. He closes his eyes for a second, and his teeth grind against each other.

"I'm sorry...I'm only doing what I have to do to save the team..."he says when he finally opens his eyes he pulls something out from his pocket and runs at me, I see the glimmer of silver in the air, he is running towards me and in panic...I pull the trigger. Lance stops mid run his smile fading and his eyes going to normal.

Now a sincere smile sets itself on his face and he falls to the floor dropping the knife and falling in his once warm pool of hand blood that now mixes with the blood of the fatal blow to his chest. I quickly run to his side.

"I gotta get you to a healing pod!"I exclaim, I try to pick him up but I see him grab the knife by his side. He looks at me with his sane eyes and gives me a normal smile.

"Thank you keith...you are so kind...its for your kindness that I must now warn you stay back...I know all the fatal places to stab you."he mutters and he holds the knife, but I could see his grip slowly loosening on it.

"I started...I started to scare myself Keith..."he says, his voice light.

"I was going to hurt people and Lotor wasn't going to stop, the voices in my head live off Lotors words and they grew, they grew till I could no longer think....I wasn't even in my own brain...I was afraid I'd hurt someone..."lance says and I see his skin grow pale.

"It will be fine now, we can get the team to help, it can all go back to normal."I say and get closer to lance.

"No I don't want to live with all these thoughts in my head, besides...even on my death bed I must fight a war behind my head to cling onto sanity."lance says.soon he looses all grip on the knife, and he is just staring up at the ceiling with blank eyes.

"It's....it's been so long since my head has been this empty..."lance mutters . I grab his limp hand and he squeezes mine slightly before he loosens his grin.

"Please, let me try to help you."I say, he closes his eyes and his breathing gets slower.

"I don't...want.....to be....afraid..." he mutters, his words growing slower by the second.

"Afraid....of myself...."he breaths out, and I watch as his chest stops rising, and as his face goes completely pale, he looks like he relaxed...like he was calm.

And I knew that at this point he was in a happier, better place, one where the only voice in his head.....was his own.