This was requested by  
@ Whocaresaboutcanon

Sorry it took so long to make, but I hope you enjoy it.

Lances pov

We were in the kitchen me, pidge, and hunk. We were talking about good memories from the garrison and life before space, then pidge brings up a story about her and Matt and I feel tears start build up I my eyes as well as hers. As the story goes on we both start crying, hunk notices pidges distress and I sit alone where I was just remember my boyfriend, it had been so long since I had seen him, and I missed him so dearly.

Flash back

I stand straight and salut the higher ranked cadet before me, he cracks a smile at my formality and starts laughing which leads me to laughing as well, finally we stop with him holding my hand and pulling me close to his body.

I feel tears start to form in my eyes as I look down at the boy I had been dating for 3 years. He lifts himself up a bit higher and gives me a kiss. I feel a warmth surround the edges of my heart attempting to melt the icy cold of devastation that I knew was to come from him being gone for so long. Finally we pull apart his warmth lingering on my lips, I open my eyes slightly to look down at him knowing this will be the last time in a long time I will be able to look into his eyes.

"Do you have to go?"I ask again for the millionth time. He gives a little laugh at my question then looks back into my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I have to leave you, but I will be back soon, before you know it I will be back in your bed shaking you awake to show you some stupid video."matt says. I sigh at his words but still give him a smile.

"Okay then..."I mutter. I wait for him to let go but he doesn't instead he leans in closer to my ear.

"When I get back, I will use the money I get and buy you the prettiest ring, then we can get married as soon as possible."matt says, I feel the numbing cold in my heart melt as an explosion starts in my heart tearing it to shreds and making the biggest smile crawl on my face. I turn my face to kiss him again and once were done he looks at me with a crooked smile.

"That's the happy lance I love to see." He says. We hear the commander call him and he looks at me with sorrow in his eyes. I feel my smile drop and try to memories every touch he gives me.
"I love you darling."he says and gives me one final kiss before sliding out of my grip and leaving me alone with tears starting to form in my eyes. I turn to leave the room and see a man looking in through a window.

"Is someone you love leaving too?"I ask him, he turns to face me and gives me a sad nod.

"Wanna talk about it."the adult stands still for a second before nodding again and walking down the hallway with me.

Flash back over

That day I lost matt...and met shiros fiancé Adam.

I hear shouting and look over to see pidge yelling at me and my wet face.

"Why are you crying? Did I remind you of the SAFE family you have on EARTH!"pidge shouts at me anger clear in her voice, I look up at her shocked and feel a shiver fall through my spine, I felt...ashamed, ashamed for crying, pidge had known him for longer, and maybe...just maybe they were closer then him and I were. I look over at hunk who is giving me disgusted look and I scramble to my feet and run out of that room to my room.

I close the door behind me and fall to the ground letting more tears gush out.

Sobs wrack my body and I can't help but curl into a tight ball and cry over the love of my life and his unfulfilled promises of returning to me.

Time skip

"I've found my brother!"pidge shouts and races through the ship, I follow her along with everyone else to her lions hangar. Everyone was excited for her and asking her questions about how she did it, and where he was. While they did that i gained the courage to ask just one question.

"Can I go with?"I ask in a low and crackly tone, pidge gives me a disgusted look and takes a few strides towards me.

"Stop this! What ever this is stop it! You don't know my brother! My brother didn't know you! So stop acting like you care! I don't know if your mocking me or what! But just-! Just....stop it."pidge says breathlessly, I want to speak up, to defend myself...but I didn't, I was scared of what they would say, worried they'd say I was lying, and if matt didn't tell his family about me maybe there was a reason for it...

Besides even if I wanted to respond to pidge I wouldn't have been able to, she had walked into her lion and left not giving me a second thought, I was left alone with the disgusted faces of my team as they left me with their noses turned up. All I did was wait in the green hangar, pacing back and forth wonder what might have happened to him, would he recognize me, would he still love me... the pacing and wondering about matt was a nightly ritual, but doing it in the green hangar was new, and actually knowing matt would be here soon... that was really new.

Soon the green lion comes back, everyone fills in the hangar and we all get in a line and wait for them to exit. Pidge comes out first the biggest smile on her face.

"Everyone, matt Holt."she says and he walks out. His sandy hair was longer, new scars and bruises littered his body, rags hung from his thin yet toned limbs. He looked more rugged and I could feel my body growing hot just starting at him. I felt my heart start to burn my body as joy fills each and every part of me, I bit my lip to keep from squealing in happiness, and tears pour over my eyes.

Matt noticed shiro first and went to give him a hug. They talk for a little as they talk I hear pidge call me out.

"Lance I tolled you to stop crying!"she shouts at me, matt turns his head quickly to look at me shocking everyone else but me, the moment his eyes land on me his pupils grow, and a larger smile takes over his own face, tears brim his eyes and he runs at me now pushing me to the ground. He gives me a long kiss then afterward he kisses every part of my face as I laugh. We finally pull apart and I stare into his eyes...the only part of him that hadn't changed.

"I missed you so much.."I whisper out.

"I missed you too."he says. We smile at each other before he frowns.

"Wait, why are you in space? Your not a paladin are you?"he asks quickly.

"Uh....i am."I say awaiting his next words. Worry fills his eyes.

"What if you get hurt? Have you already gotten hurt? Did pidge drag you here? "He goes on and on but I just told my eyes.

"Your one to talk, leaving me for a space mission then getting kidnapped."I say, his mouth opens as if he wants to make a come back but he closes it instead.

"Wait?! You two know each other?"pidge says from her place. Matt looks at her confused and I feel a new found shame fill me once again.

"Yeah."matt says.

"Didn't lance tell you? Ya know, with all the time you spent in space together."matt says in a monotone voice, pidge takes a step back and looks down at the floor. The room was awkward with silence, so I poked Matt's cheek he turned to face me, his sour look melting.

"We are taking my last name."I say, I see his face turn into a judging look.

"You think imma get saddled with the last name McClain?"he asks me.

"Yeah, I do think so. You left me for some big space mission, I get to pick our last name."I say, he sighs and looks at me.

"Your gonna use that one a lot."he says, I shake my head vigorously and see him sigh.

(It could end here...but who would I be if I allowed such a sweet ending.)

Time skip

I huff and lean against my door in my dark room, matt had gone of to the rebel station a year ago and the communication had been extremely strict, so we hadnt been able to talk.

Pidge despised me after her brother came back, she blamed me for making her look bad in front of him, she gave me cold glares, only spoke to me to point out what I did wrong, she mocked me, she spat words of hatred at me...I couldn't handle it.

The team had taken her side as well since she was the preferred paladin out of both of us... they didn't says it blatantly but I could see their glares, and how they never stood up for me.

Slowly I was crumbling, and this war was no closer to being over then before, I was going to spend years away from matt, living in a place where I was picked apart and prodded at for all my faults and even things I didn't do wrong, I could feel my brain slowly break, and each day was harder to live with.

I walk to the training room, on my way I bump into pidge who gives me a colder look.

"Why do you even try training, it's not like you could improve."pidge sneers at me. I close my eyes and bite my lip getting ready for what is about to happen.

"I can still try."I mumble and pidge just stands her ground.

"I don't understand why you try, I don't understand why you haven't just crumbled and given up, your so weak."pidge says. I take a deep breath.

"Please leave me alone."I mutter.

"Why? For you to run away? To go cry? Or do you want to go bother someone else, ruin someone else's relationship with their family."

"I didn't ruin anything, please leave me alone." I could tell she was getting angry, you could see her face turn red.

"How could my brother even love you, he deserves so much better...he could have anyone...and he chose the fuck up."pidge smears and walks away leaving me frozen in the hallway, I though about the words she had said and slowly it clicked into place forming a complete puzzle.  I walked back to my room and pulled out my trusty razor.

I was unneeded to the team, I was unneeded my matt, I was easily replaceable to the team, I was easily replaceable to matt.

I didn't have to keep fighting for matt anymore, I don't have to keep clutching on to the scorching flame that is life...I could let go...finally.

I will miss you matt, and I love you so....so much....

But you can find someone better...