Lance pov

After being pushed around to many times I've decided it wouldn't happen any more.

No more

'Lance why don't you try for once'

'Lance your always late'

'Lance dosent know anything'

I'm finally going to stand up for myself. I feel someone nudge my shoulder in the hallway. I flip around my first instinct to apologies...not any more.

"Watch it asshole!"i shout and walk to my room leaving Keith standing there with a shocked look on his face. I will not be pushed around.

'Lance why don't you try for once'

'Cant you see i am trying, why don't you get off your fucking high horse and give me a break'

'Lance your always late'

'Im not always late you just never notice me, maybe you wouldn't do that if you were actually a good leader'

'Lance dosent know anything'

'I do know things, like the fact that you talk behind my back. Maybe you just don't know how to be nice'

'Lance is becoming a bįtch'

'...'

'Maybe i wouldn't have to act like one if one of you would have stood up for me. But you didn't cause your all so self centered'

I walk back to my room after the last comment...was i becoming an ass...maybe, but it's what i need, if i drop the act they would kick me around again. I cant...i cant...

I cant be kicked around any more, i cant take it, their words slowly pull me apart and no one would stand up for me...i cant.

I feel someone bump me in the hallway, this time i instantly turn around and yell.

"Watch where your fucking going!"i shout. I see Keith stand there with an angered look. He opened his mouth to say something but close it.

"Coward, lost the courage to say something last minute."i addressed his hesitance. An angry look stuck on his face and i swiftly turned to head to my room.

I made it to my room and sat on my bed. I remember that look of anger on his face...

I feel bad, but...i-i cant. I ca-cant stop....

If i do....

I feel fear build up in my stomach. I cant...

Time skip

Now i look around at everyone on the training deck, they all are glaring at me, I've become the most hated person on the ship.

I'm sorry....I'm sorry..

I'm so so sorry.

I want to shout it from the rooftops, but i cant...i cant quit, if i do...

I just...i cant.

There glares all burn different holes in me, they stop talking to me, in training none of them defend me, maybe...it was better to be pushed around then hated.

No..i cant, i cant go back. I cant.

I see Keith in the hallway after training, nothing happened between us this time he just instantly glared at me.

I cant, i cant handle all this hatred anymore.

"I'm sorry..."i whisper out. He looks shocked at first, but then turns back to his cold glare.

"Should have thought of that before" he says and continued walking. I headed back to my room, head down. Once i enter i fall to the floor, tears falling from my eyes.

The next day i was silent, no one talked to me, and i didn't talk to them. It went like this for the next few days. If they asked me something i would only reply with nods or gestures.

I was right though, now that i was silent they would attack me, tell me i was useless, stupid, and now an asshole. I walk past the common room, lost in my thoughts.

"Lance is now ignoring us, god he's turned into an ass" i heard Keith say. I feel my heart drop. I walked quickly to my room and leaned against the now close door.

I cant seem to make them happy

I don't want to be depressed, i don't want their words to hurt me again. I am tired, i am done.

I cant do this anymore

I won't do this anymore.

I can end all my suffering

And i will.

I grab a pen and paper.

I'm sorry, i know this is all my fault.

I need you to understand though.

I cant handily your cruel words, if i don't defend myself you will only insult me and tear me to shreds.

But i also cant handle you hating me, I'm sorry.

I just... Cant.

I grab my bayard and watch it turn into my beautiful blue gun.

My gun won't kill me...your words will

I place the gun against my temple, and feel my thumb rest gain at the trigger.

Maybe now i can be free, i can be happy.

My thumb squeezes the trigger.