Keith's pov

I listen to the smooth words exit alluras mouth and feel tears stream down my face.

Three days ago lance had been killed, we heard his screams and pleads for help through our coms, we were making a funeral for him now, granted we don't have his body cause we couldn't find it...but he still deserves our respect.

"I-I ignored him so much..."pidge mutters breaking the silences we once stood in.

"We pushes him aside, we put him down, we insulted him....I can't believe how terrible we were."I mutter and feel more tears stream down my face.

"Wow...this is a real damper, come on you could have done something more exciting, or at least lively."a familiar voice says, I let out a gasp and whip my head around to face the voice. I see lance standing in the door way, a smirk on his face, a large gash on his neck, cuts littering the visible skin, a swollen black and. Blue eyes, the black cloth is torn and dried blood stains it and sticks to what was meant to be visible skin, one leg was twisted the wrong way, and a tired look stuck to his eyes. I run up to him and pull him in a hug.

"Things will be different..."I mutter as I hold him close. I hear him mutter a light 'okay' and he holds me close to himself.

Lances pov

I sigh as I sneak back into my room the doors shutting behind me. I sigh and lean on to the wall and sink to my knees, I put my face in my hands and let a shaky sigh escape my lips.

This was everything I wanted, I had the family I wanted. I got attention, I got approval....I just...can't seem to adjust to it all.

Every time they something good about me my head is filled with a thousands negative thoughts, when they are around I can only think about the terrible things they said , I am not use to spending all me time with them, adjusting to actually having friends is messing with any form of schedule that I once had is gone.

They stick to me all the time, and now I realize any and all bad habits I used to have I can't any more, and it was slowly driving me insane, there now was a tighter press to my stomach since I ate all meals and I used to eat one once a week, now my head could fill itself to the brim with filthy thoughts and I couldn't relieve myself with the stinging pain of the blade, my body no longer was sore instead, it felt almost like jelly from not training as much.

I couldn't seem to adjust so quickly to the lance they thought I was. They always found a way to touch my warm skin like it was a reminder of my living and it made me uncomfortable, their constant praise started to annoy me to the point where I had to hold myself back from using my bayard on them. They try to comfort me and I can't seem to take them seriously.

The only reason they care is because I almost died, if I had not almost lost my life I still would be mistreated, ignored, neglected...

Yet something deep down wished for that to be the case,  that one day I would wake up and instead of their voices making up excused for me for why I was so late, I would hear their voices putting me down. I was finally growing up, growing an edge....now they are trying to set me back, they are trying to hold me back. They are afraid for me, so now they baby me.

One day I'm going to snap and I know it, slowly as more annoyances grow and grow, as more pressure builds on my spine and in my head, I know soon I will be blinded by anger and will do something I regret. Just knowing when was the tricky part.

Time skip

Today was terrible, they didn't know when to stop, they kept giving me praise, it filled my chest to point of break, and it helped clutter my mind with negative thoughts till it was to heavy to hold my head up. I am tired of carrying around this pain, why must I bare this weight of so much hate.

I finally did it, I pulled out my razor not giving a fuck if they see it. I'm tired, I'm not happy go lucky lance McClain, I've been hurt by them.

I start slashing at my wrists, the pressure in my head slowly leaving, tears escapes my eyes and a fire was started in my chest, a fire that burned, that kept me making slashes way past my limit.

In the end I was panting, and sobbing, I was in a kind of bliss, my mind to foggy to comprehend things, it felt nice... my eyes closed and I enjoyed the first calm I have been in since I came back alive. I felt my breathing grow slower and this felt right...

I was meant to die in the that battle...yet survived...so now I'm just helping fate fulfill itself.