Lances pov

I close my eyes and rest against the tree surrounded by the colorful flowers from altea, every time I look at them I see her, standing before me with a smile on her lips and her eyes glimmering in the warm sun, her hair swaying in the air....she looks just as pretty as she did the day I met her, she hadn't aged a day, she looked young and happy....

I lifted my arm to reach out for her, but in a flash she went away and it was just me sitting by the tree drowning myself in past...

I love her, I always will. I-i couldn't seem to move on, I felt stuck in time, like I couldn't live the rest of my life without her...so whilst I lived in the past, my body grew older. Soon when ever I looked in the mirror I could hardly recognise myself, the biggest difference was the blue marks at the corner of my eyes, they remind me of her.

Every time I see them, my heart throws itself deeper into the dark ocean, it gets pulled down father and fills with more water, the farther down it goes the more pressure it's feeling, it's being squeezed, and I don't know how much longer it can withstand the gravity of this situation.

Alluras gone, she was my future, my everything. I would have followed her to the ends of the earth...but I didn't, I only watched her leave me.

And I wonder why I do this to myself...why do I go out and tell her story over day, why do I force myself to relive the painful memories.

I would say it's because it's giving her justice, but I know it would be a lie....I'm torturing myself, I blame myself everyday for her death, why had I not stopped her, why did I only watch, if I had been a stronger fighter I would have been able to actually contribute to stopping the war before it actually got to that point, it's my fault she's not here, it's my fault no one else gets to be blessed with her warm presence.

I love her so much. I glance at the flowers that surround my body, I am old now...I've lived my life, I've done all I can manage with how little energy I have left....

Although I am only 27 feel like I have lived a life time....and then some. So if I have lived my life, then killing yourself isn't ending it early is it, it's just....agreeing with nature.

I look around me and I don't see anything to use, I get up and walk to my room, I pull out and old box and inside lies my paladin suit and armor...and my bayard. I take the bayard out and look at it, it turns into a blue sword, everyone got their original colored bayards back. Which left me stuck with allures old abused....

I hold the blue sword out, it looks like alluras fathers, it reminds me of all the time we spent training together, and I feel another tug at my heart...I lift sword and press it to my chest, it shimmers in the light, it's blade looks sharper then ever, and at this moment it looks more deadly then I've ever seen it.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, I will see you allura, I just hope you want to see me too.

I let out a scream of pain as I force my arms to shove the blade inside of my chest, very slowly it broke through my skin and flesh, tearing it appart slowly, heat filled my chest as the rest of my body became cold.  I loosen my grip, the sword hanging out of my chest, just barely staying in, it's blue colors slowly turning red again from my blood.I take a deep breath, and push it farther in. I hear a loud snap , and then some more snaps...till.......