Searching for Answers

"Oh my god," Sera kept saying. "Oh my god. And he never told you. He never said—god, I'm so sorry."

She had never seen her friend this serious before, and she loved her for it. "Thanks. But now..." she made a vague gesture at the computer, and Sera nodded her understanding.

"You want to know more." Now her expression went from grim to determined. "Yeah, I got you." Sera laced her fingers together and thrust her arms out in front of her, making her knuckles crack horribly. "Girl, let's do this."

They had an hour until the last bus came, which was good, because so far their search had turned up nothing. When she looked up the date in the article and her mother's name, all she found were a few articles that all said the same thing, and the missing person's page on the NYPD website. She couldn't help spending a little while there, staring at the picture of her mother and the write-up beneath it. It was the same photo that had been in the article, showing her looking vibrant and alive.

Sera, who had been in Natalie's house and seen the portrait hanging on the wall, looked at the photo doubtfully. "Why did they use this one? It's obviously old, right? I mean, the photo in the hallway is more up to date than this one, isn't it?"

Natalie blinked at her. She hadn't even thought of that, but Sera was probably right. "I have no idea. Maybe dad liked this picture better? But then you'd think it would be easier to find her with a more recent picture. This whole thing is just...off." She sighed, turning back to the paragraph under the picture.

The family of Helen PORTER are still seeking answers as to the whereabouts of their beloved wife and mother, who went missing on September 12th, 2007, 10 years ago today.

Natalie leaned forward, her hand jerked slightly, making the arrow skip across the webpage. "Wait a minute, this is recent. Look at the date on the missing person record."

"Two-thousand-seventeen." Sera's eyes were wide. "God, Nat...your dad is still looking for her."

Natalie sat back in the computer chair. She had to shut her eyes because it felt like the room was spinning around her. How was it possible that her father had kept this from her? He was clearly still hoping to find his wife...her mother. He thought she was still out there somewhere.

"You've got to confront your dad about this." Sera's voice was hushed.

She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to make her eyes water, curling her fists under the table. A cold, sick kind of dread began uncurling in her stomach at the thought of it, but Sera was right. She deserved answers. Not just that but she needed them. And endless hours of fruitless internet searching was not the way to do find them. She had to confront him.

She was just straightening her shoulders, about to say she was going to do it, to commit to it—if she told Sera she would have to go through with it—when someone bumped her chair from behind, jostling her. A high, mocking voice said from behind them,

"Natalie, that doesn't look very much like school work to me."

Melanie Brook was leaning over her shoulder, her long hair tickling Natalie's left shoulder.

"Why do you care?" Natalie jammed her finger into the button, shutting the computer screen off. A bolt of panic went through her. Exactly how much had Melanie seen of that?

"You don't have to be rude about it." Melanie straightened up, adjusting her book bag prissily on her shoulder. She darted a cunning look at Natalie, and then over her shoulder at Mr. Neilson. "You wouldn't want me telling that weirdo new librarian that you guys are using the computer for person use, would you? He'll probably write you up in that creepy book of his."

Natalie frowned at her. "What are you talking about Melanie?"

Melanie snickered. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, like she didn't care if anyone overheard, but Natalie noticed she dropped her voice low. "Haven't you noticed how weird he is? He carries that big leather book around with him all the time. He never puts it down, and if he does, he always rests his elbow on top, like someone is going to try to snatch it or something. I bet it's his diary. He used to work at my dad's factory, you know? I think he was probably fired for being a total weirdo."

Normally Natalie would have told the other girl to shove off, but she was relieved Melanie seemed to think the biggest piece of gossip today was the strange new librarian. That probably meant she hadn't seen what they'd been looking at.

Fully intending to humor her, Natalie glanced over at Mr. Neilson. The scrawny librarian was seated at his desk looking over a series of battered file. With one hand he sorted through the tabs, nodding and humming quietly to himself as he did so, the other he rested against his chin. Sure enough his elbow was propped up on a thick leather book. She couldn't see much of it, only that it had a faded brown cover and it looked very old.

"Okay, that is a bit weird," she admitted. Still, on her list of "important things to deal with today" Mr. Neilson was extremely far down it. In fact, he didn't make the list at all. Irritated, she exchanged a glance with Sera, who grimaced sympathetically.

If Melanie would just go away they could return to the search. But Melanie Brooks was not the type of girl you told to "go away".

Thankfully a moment later Mr. Neilson seemed to notice something, maybe the feeling of being watched, because he glanced up sharply, eyes narrowing behind his glasses. Melanie snorted, but she tugged at the strap of her book bag nervously and said, "See, what did I tell you? He's weird," and then hurried away, exiting the library without a glance backward. She let the door bang shut behind her, and thankfully Mr. Neilson took a few moments to glare at this interruption to his peace, rather than concentrate on Natalie.

"I guess we should go." Sera was looking at her watch. "It's quarter to."

It was true, they'd only have a few minutes to get down to the bus stop. They collected their bags and signed out of the computer, making sure to exit out of the missing persons' page. Natalie couldn't help feeling disappointed that they hadn't learned more. Yes, it was a big deal that her father was still looking for her, but she'd hoped for a hint of what had happened. And more than that, what her mother had actually been like.

She hadn't realized that was part of what she'd been searching for, up until now.

Sera zipped her knapsack and slung it over her shoulder as they headed toward the library exit, following behind a couple of grade eights who were having a loud conversation about magic cards. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "you could always go get that necklace looked at. Maybe they could tell you who it's made by or where it's from."

Natalie glanced down at the pendant, rotating it between her thumb and finger. "You think?"

"I mean, yeah it's a shot in the dark." Sera shrugged. "But so what? It's worth a try, right?"

"Yeah, I mean why not?" She slid the pendant back under her shirt. There was a pawn shop a few blocks down from the house. She'd have to jump on the bus to get there, but it wasn't like she had any other leads right now, aside from confronting her dad.

She tried to swallow past a lump in her throat. She had to do it, Sera was right. But she knew what would happen. She knew how her father's face would look, how it would crumple. What if he did the same thing he always used to do? What if he shut down and refused to talk about it?

Her face felt hot. He wouldn't do that this time, would he? She was seventeen, more than old enough to know what had happened. Even if....even if they had found her mother. Even if the news had been bad.

No. That couldn't be though. He was still looking for her.

"Coming?" Sera was standing in the door, her back propping it open.

"Yeah, sorry." Natalie looked back once, more out of habit than anything, to see if she'd left anything at the computer desk. There was nothing, only Mr. Neilson, who had left his post at the desk to come straighten the computer chairs. He still had the leather book tucked under one arm as he did so, and when Natalie looked over he was staring at her.

She had never looked very hard at the librarian. He wasn't a particularly interesting man, there was nothing that leapt out at you. He just looked... like a librarian. Skinny and quiet, with light brown eyes and thick glasses. But now as she looked at him, Natalie found herself slightly taken aback. He was looking at her very intently, as if she were very interesting. There was something in his face that made her a little bit uneasy, an intensity to his expression that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Natalie took a step backward, and Mr. Neilson cleared his throat and pushed his glasses further up his nose, gaze flickering from her to Sera.

"Good afternoon ladies. I hope Melanie wasn't giving you a hard time over there."

Mentally she shook herself. His voice was mild, his expression pleasant. He was just Mr. Neilson, the new librarian. He wasn't any more threatening than Melanie was and she was simply being ridiculous. She was merely unnerved by the information she'd found about her mother.

"Oh, no she was just...being Melanie," she said. "You know how she is."

His smile was tight. "I do indeed. She does like her gossip, as unfounded as it may be."

"Uh, yeah. She does." Natalie blinked at him, a little surprised by the scowl on his face.

"Well, have a good night, you two."

"Goodnight, Mr. Neilson."

They exited through the library's double doors, and Sera leaned closer as they walked away down the hall, keeping her voice low. "Melanie's right. That guy is weird."

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