POV Dream

I continued to sit on my arse for the entirety of the night. I know that Sean means well, but I really had no intentions of talking to him. He is someone I have looked up to for a long, long time, and I really respect him, and that's why I don't want to be constantly around him.

I want to keep respecting him, but if I'm always around him, I will start to lose that respect, and start to think of him as a colleague, or dare to even say friend. I know this sounds crazy, but I do not want to be his friend. I want to be an admirer, someone to look up to. I know this sounds downright stupid, but I have never wanted to be in the spotlight, or center of attention for any situation, under any circumstances.

It probably has to do with the fact that I have little, to no self-esteem, due to my brother. He was always so great, and I was supposed to match his level of "excellence." I guess that I did, considering the fact that I'm still alive. Oh, don't look at me like that, he's a terrible person. He hates my mother and I, because he sides with my grandparents, with the whole, gay marriage thing. Even though his own mother is a lesbian.

The story with my brother, Dante, is he is an extreme homophobe, but he actually was happy once upon a time. It was when he had a girlfriend, Kia. He was really happy with her, and they did a lot together. They went to the beach together, they talked to each other for hours on the weekends, they beat my mother and I together. Yup. He found someone as homophobic as he was. When ever she came over to our house, they would corner my mother and I, and beat the shit out of her and I with fists, feet, and belts.

Eventually Dante, and Kia started to get very serious, but Dante wanted more than what Kia was willing to offer. She wouldn't have sex with him, so he found someone who would. One day, Kia walked in on Dante, and Leah, and she dumped him on the spot. He kicked out Leah, and eventually hung himself. He died four days before the apocalypse. Its odd how the apocalypse just, happened like that. I mean, shouldn't there have been a reason?

I think about this quite often. I mean, the government explained to us that there was a lot of disease running rampant around, and apparently, a couple of the diseases that were around, somehow combined, and created whatever the hell made the zombies. I still don't believe that is the only reason why the zombies started out. They have to be hiding something. I don't really have anything to prove my thinking, but I might as well tell something. Even if it is this stupid little journal. Oh well.

I decided to stop thinking, and rolled over, and tried to get some sleep. As I rolled back to the other side of the tent, I remembered that Ruth was here too. She's so sweet. I wish she didn't have to be around here, with all of these terrible things, and people. She's still so innocent. She is older than Scarlet, but Carlos has sheltered her for her entire life.

I looked over. She's really asleep, isn't she? Hardly moving. I gently touched her shoulder, and rocked her shoulder, seeing if she had much of a reaction, and called her name. She moved easier than butter. She rolled over, and stayed over. I sat up, and started to examine her closer.

Her eyes were closed tightly, but not scrunched, her cheeks were white, her complexion is as plain as a wall.

"Ruth?!" I asked her again, but a bit more worriedly. I started pushing her, instead of tapping, which was my original intent. I whipped around, un-zipped the tent, and then turned back to her.

It didn't take more than a few seconds to figure out what had happened. Her beautiful complexion had faded into the night, sending her beautiful flare of light into the dark, dismal world, filled with hate, and anger. All she wanted was to spread her love, and light into this damned thing we call Earth, but now, she gave her light, and in return, the world, gave her death.

"Dream? Is there a problem?" Sean was behind me, and scared the blue out of my jeans. How do I tell him? So many things have gone wrong, I don't want to make anything worse, by not telling the truth, or sugar coating it.

"Sean, Ruth, Ruth is dead," I said, holding her limp body in my arms, and trying hard not to ruin myself. I know she was a gone, but she was also a human being, with respect, and I need to respect her just the same.

"Dream?!" He asked worriedly. Through the short time I have known Sean, never have I seen him with a face like this. The only way I can describe the emotion he emoted, was like an actor who had forgotten their lines.

I don't even know if he had any to begin with, but any lines, any arrangement of stupid, scrambled letters, can not make up for the loss of a human life.

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