It's been a while, maybe I should text --

Well well well, what do you think you're doing?

Oh. Just thought I would talk to my friend. You remember them, right?

Of course I do, they're the one that's waaayyyyyyy too good for you. That doesn't really narrow things down, though, does it?

...

Go away, please.

You know I'm right.

Stop it.

Tish tosh.

...

You're not even funny. 

...

Your humor is ridiculous, people aren't laughing with you, they're laughing at you.

That's stupid --

Is it really? 

...

I didn't think so.

You are being positively ridiculous.

Maybe so, but I protect you, don't I? I make sure you don't make a COMPLETE fool of yourself. 

...

Let's face it. You're too loud,

Stop.

you're arrogant,

I'm serious.

you're irritating,

Cut it out.

and not a single person actually likes you.

...

They pity you.

Can't you let me compose a single text?

It's far too late. You wouldn't want to wake them up, would you? 

Well...

Not to mention they spent all day out with OTHER FRIENDS, they're probably tired.

Maybe...

Plus there's a reason they didn't text you first, right?

...right. 

That's right. You mean nothing to them. 

I mean nothing to them.

They value other people above you.

They value others above me. 

Whatever you have to say can wait. And it will.

Yes, I can wait.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Good girl. Aren't you glad to have me around to tell you what's what? 

Thank you, yes. 

Sweet dreams, Lana.

Goodnight.

_