Fuck

What, are we lost?

the map fuck the mappp 

this ain't treasure fuckin' planet man get it together where's the map

CAPTAIN THERE'S A HOLE IN MY POCKET AND THE MAP FELL OUT SOMEWHERE

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS 

WELL IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GONNA HELP WE JUST LANDED IN THIS STRANGE SWAMPY FOREST IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING WHO KNOWS WHERE

Private watch your fucking mouth there are children reading this 

Sorry Captain 

It's okay I still love you 

wat

wat

...we should just keep moving

heehee okay you nerdy piece of ass you

*siiiighhhhhhh* Captain 

right yes let's definitely go yes we keep moving 

CAPTAIN, LOOK, A PORTAL 

OH AWESOME, BUT I'M NOT FUCKING GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY BABY

Captain I will buy you a new ship I promise 

EXCUSE YOU?

oh boy

NO I CAN'T JUST LEAVE HER 

you're right i'm sorry

NO I LOST MY VIRGINITY ON THE BUMBLEBEE BATTLESHIP V, SHE'S MY FIRST, MY ONE AND ONLY, MY PARTNER IN CRIME, MY THERAPIST, MY MOM, MY DAD, MY BOYFRIEND 

boyfriend 

PRIVATE SHE IS MY WORLD WE GOTTA FIX HER UP FIRST

boy

friend

boyfriend 

i thought 

PRIVATE WE KEEP MOVING 

i was

UNTIL WE FIND 

your

SOME LOCALS

bf

ARE YOU LISTENING 

yes Captain let's go 

you're so fabulous i love it

yeah yeah let's go

{( guys i want to give these assholes their own book should i do that? )}