McClellan, Proud Owner Of Lana
This is going to sound bad, but sometimes I do not even want to pet my cats
If you have cats, you will probably understand my point
Now there are two types of attention-seeking moods that most cats get into
#1 is the type where they come to wherever you're sitting and they take a little nap while you watch a movie or something and lazily stroke their fur
BUT #2 IS WHEN THEY FOLLOW YOU AS YOU'RE WALKING AROUND AND THEY YOWL AT YOU UNTIL YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THEM
And by the way, scientists now believe that cats don't meow to communicate with one another, but rather to communicate with humans
SO YEAH, THE CAT IS LITERALLY SCREAMING AT ME TO PET HIM
But this method, unlike the first, is pretty complex
You'll lean down to pet and compliment them, then carry on with whatever you were doing
But that's obviously not enough
When they get into this mood, you can't sit down with them, that's not what they fucking want
No
They want you to follow them around and pet them while they also rub against everything else
When you try to sit down, they walk a few paces just out of reach as if to say "Stupid human, I want you to pet me over here now, the place you are sitting in is now officially boring"
They look at you as if they know the rules to a game that was never explained to you but they're still mad that you don't get it
I have two cats
McClellan is my purebred prince whom I call Glelly, he carries his tail above his body in a little curl because he's a snobby bitch and he has a posh meow fit for a king
Indiana is a charcoal idiot who probably has mental retardation and runs from everything; his meow is sharp like a whiny baby screaming for food (sometimes we think he just meows to hear himself meow and to maybe let us know every hour that he's still alive)
McClellan is the boy who usually asks for my company, like tonight, for example
He was in his awful type 2 mood but he's got a nice meow so I don't mind listening to him talk
And I sat down to pet him, but of course he walked away and glared at me because he thinks I should know the drill by now
So I straight up told him, "Listen kid, I am not going to play this game with you, now come to me if you want to get love or I will cook you in a stew"
and he gave me a sassy little "myow" and walked his happy prince ass away
I think I won
Also I think he understood me and I really should be more intrigued by the fact that I successfully spoke with my cat
Anyway petting my cats is sometimes too tiring because they treat me like a private slave who pets them while they carry about their day, and damn it, I AM GOING ON STRIKE, MISTER MCCLELLAN
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