I like crying

I like having a long cry about shit that happened in the past and I like aching and I like how horrible it feels

And the best part about crying is the aftermath

Your face hurts and there's this dull pounding in your chest like someone knocking on a hollow wall

You become completely neutral

A grey entity

You are just too tired now to be sad, you're too tired to feel better, too tired to do anything but lay there with a blank mind and a dry tongue

The sounds of sex are too intimate for my delicate ears, and this is why I don't like porn

Cigarettes sometimes smell nice, they evoke old memories of people you'd long forgotten

But other times they smell of spite and they burn your nose and hurt your heart because you love the one with the cancer between their lips

You're not happy now that you're drunk, you're still sad, it's just that now you're also a little dizzy, which isn't a great improvement

I am in limbo tonight, don't worry, I'll be back after the war, I think about you every day, you're my best girl, love tom, ps, the bird bites,,