This is a huge issue for me. And I think it is for a lot of other people, as well. Confidence doesn't always come to us as naturally as we want it to. We have insecurities that drag us down. We're afraid of getting hurt, so we build walls. We close ourselves off from the rest of the world.

However, this doesn't exactly make anyone happy. You feel alone, and no one knows how to interact with you, because they never really see the true you.

Recently, like two seconds ago actually, I started watching Queer Eye, and it's given me a little insight.

The only way you'll find true happiness is by learning to accept and love yourself for who you are. You can't expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself.

But in order to love yourself, you need confidence. Confidence is the key to happiness. It's the door that opens to everything you could ever want.

So, go out. Do something you've never done before, get out of your comfort zone. Try a new look. Something different, yet...you. Go to a new restaurant you've never been to before. Fix your living space up a bit. Reinvent your entire persona if you feel the need.

Is there a project you've been meaning to finish? Finish it! I'm willing to bet you'll feel a lot better about yourself afterwards.

A a new look could be helpful. (I've actually tried this before. I cut my hair super short and dyed it dark brown. Totally different from my long, long light brown hair. But I love it!) It'll give you new insight on who you want to be, what you want people to think when they look at you. (Probably "wow that person is fabulous af!")

Another good tip. Eat as healthy as possible. Good, home cooked meals really improve your over all mood. And in turn, improves your confidence. Same with exercising. It might be a lot of hard work, but it keeps you looking good. And happier. So, it's worth it.

Trying something you've never done before will help you come out of your shell a little. Obviously it'll be awkward, and you'll probably be afraid of looking stupid. But that's okay. The point of doing it is to make you less worried about people judging you. Once you get out there, you'll be more relaxed.

I'm not saying you should go sky diving or anything (though you could if you wanted...) But just...go out and try something. Maybe you could try something simple, like testing out a new food item. Or maybe go jogging or biking with someone sometime.

The point is, if you're unhappy, if you don't have the confidence you need...something must change. And you need to make that change, if you want to improve. So figure out what that change is and make it happen. You'll be so much more in tune with yourself, so much happier and more confident.

Also, avoid negative self talk. I know pretty much everyone says that, but if you can avoid it, it really does improve everything. I've always had an issue with dissing myself. I still do it all the time. And it just brings me down, makes me feel like a crappy person. It makes the people around me feel crappy.

Now, I know you can't get rid of all the negative thoughts. And you certainly can't just decide to be an optimist and magically expect your world view to change. Chances are, if you're pessimistic you always will be. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try to be more positive. For your sake and those around you.

I'd suggest this: for every negative thought that crosses your mind, think of three positive ones.

Me for example. I woke up this morning sad for some stupid reason. I was in the mind set of "I'm not good enough for anyone" "I'm not smart enough to go to collage" blah, blah, blah.

Here's some positives I could have:

- My friends and family will still love me regardless of my career path.

- I might not be good in subjects other people are good at, but I can always work harder until I get it down

- I don't have to be good enough for anyone. I'm fine the way that I am

And so on.

Also, take a look around you. Examine the people you surround yourself with. Are they bringing you up or tearing you down? If you answered with the latter...you should probably get new people.

You want people who encourage you to do what you want. (Unless what you want is to be a murdering, thieving scum...don't want that.) True friends just want you to be happy. Even if sometimes your emotions won't let you believe it, they'll always be there for you. No matter what. You just have to find the right people.

These are just some of the ways to improve your confidence. I'm sure there are loads more, and if you know of any, feel free to mention them in the comments. Perhaps one or more of these will be of use to you.

If not...well I really hope you find another method. Confidence is important. Studies show that confidence is actually much more attractive than us introverted awkward types. (For both friendships...and other kind of relationships 😏)

It won't be easy. Change is always hard, but I truly believe that it will be worth it. You deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to be proud of yourself. Gay, straight, white, black, whatever, whoever you are. Let the world know. Let them see the real you. Shout it at the top of your lungs to get their attention, if you have to. Just do whatever it takes to get to that good place, because it is so, so, so worth it.

Whatever method works for you, whether it be trying to think more positive, getting a make over, doing something new, whatever, it'll be good for you I promise. You'll love yourself more. Other people will like you more. And all around I think you'll genuinely be happier.