"It's not a party," Aureus objected.

John sighed. He'd said nothing to her about what J.P. told him. If she wanted to keep it a secret, who was he to judge? He had enough secrets of his own. Besides, he figured, she was probably embarrassed by what had happened and didn't want to remember it. He could understand her point. Alcohol made people do stupid things. Beer made him do stupid things. Think foolish thoughts. All of which was a big part of the reason he didn't want to do this whole Halloween thing.

"Well, what is it, then, if it's not a party?" he asked.

They were sitting in John's room, John on his own bed, Aureus on the still-empty bed opposite. His R.A. had said his should-be roommate had apparently dropped out before even starting. But he had been warned not to expect to keep his single room for too long.

Aureus pouted. "It's like a . . . well, actually, I don't really know. It's like a tradition, I guess. It's Halloween, everyone gets dressed up, and we walk up and down Franklin Street and admire each other's costumes. That's all."

"And there's no party element?"

He looked at her, knowing wherever Aureus was, there was likely to be a party.

"Okay, fine, it's sort of like a big outside party, okay?" She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "But there's an open container law, remember? So there's no drinking outside. And there's no getting stuck in a room talking to people. It's just like going for a long walk where you happen to be surrounded by other people also going for long walks."

John thought about this. As a matter of fact, it sounded like a fair compromise. He'd be going out as Aureus was constantly badgering him to do, but he wouldn't have to drink, and he wouldn't be technically at a party.

"No party?" he asked suspiciously.

"We-ell, there is a party after," she confessed. "But we don't have to go. You don't have to go. Your only commitment is to get in costume with me and have some fun on the street. Afterwards, you can go safely home. I'll even walk with you to make sure you get back okay."

He laughed. "All right, I'm in. What are you going to be?"

"Ah," she said, tapping the side of her nose. "That's for me to know, and you to find out. I've got costumes for both of us, so don't worry your pretty little head about it."

When Aureus was like this, there was no point trying to persuade her to be otherwise. He'd simply have to wait and see what she had planned for them. So he shrugged and smiled.

Aureus constantly amazed and entertained him. He still found it hard to believe she really wanted to be his friend. The only thing they truly disagreed on was religion, but they didn't talk about it. He sometimes found it hard to reconcile the faith Aureus had with her brains, not to mention her love of partying and the fact she'd apparently slept with J.P. But it was her thing, and he let her have it. There was obviously something about her faith to keep her going, because every Sunday afternoon she was beaming and full of life again, no matter how hard the week had been. At a guess, he'd say all of this had something to do with losing her mother, but though Aureus often talked about her mom, she never talked about her death or losing her.

His own mom called him at least once a week, forcing his father to take the phone for an uncomfortable two-minute chat. She worried about John, he could tell, and she was overjoyed when she heard he not only had been to a frat party, but he was also going to be dressing up for Halloween. At least I made someone happy, he thought when he put the phone down. He might not be able to make himself happy, but wasn't it something how his mom and Aureus were both excited for him?

***

Aureus had said she'd be at his door at six, and bang on cue she knocked. John, who'd been attempting to take a nap, stretched and got up to let her in.

"Jesus," he said, opening the door.

"Nope, just me," said Aureus with a grin, pulling off the Carolina baseball cap she was wearing.

John stood back to get the full effect. She was dressed in scuffed sneakers, khaki shorts, a plaid button-down shirt, was carrying an empty beer bottle, and had kept her blonde hair shoved up under her cap. All in all, she made a very convincing frat boy.

"Nice," he said, nodding. "Very nice."

"Wait until you see what I've got for you," she said, pushing past him and throwing a plastic bag onto the bed. "Plus, I'm not done yet. I still need a beard."

"Beard?" he asked, opening the bag and looking inside. "Aur, you brought the wrong bag down," he said, holding up a skirt.

She laughed. "Oh, no I haven't. Can't you guess what you're going to be? We'll be the perfect pair."

With a sinking feeling, he upended the bag, scattering the contents over his bed. It was all there.

"No," he said.

"Birdman, come on, it'll be fun!"

He shook his head. "No. No way. I'm not going out on the street dressed like a hooker."

His heart was beating wildly. Suddenly there was nothing more in the world he wanted than to go out dressed like a hooker. It was the very reason he wasn't going to do it.

"You're not a hooker, you're a sorority girl," Aureus said. "It's Halloween—half the guys out there will be in drag. It's nothing to worry about."

"Aur, please."

And now his heart was pounding. She was right. No one would look twice at him. It was only a costume, for God's sake. His palms started to sweat.

"We don't have time to find another costume, so I don't want to hear any more about it. Want me to step outside while you get your gear on?"

Gulping, he nodded.

The door closed, and he stared down at the bed. She'd thought of everything. Briefly he wondered where she'd got all this stuff. Then his hand strayed out and touched the lace edge of the black bra, and he didn't care where she'd found it. All he wanted was to put it on.

Hurriedly he stripped off his clothes. Hands shaking, he picked up the bra and slipped it over his shoulders. Reaching behind, he found he had no idea how the hell the thing worked, and he laughed, picking up the underwear she'd bought, sliding his legs in and pulling them up. The skirt came next, riding around his hips, barely covering the waistband of the panties. Already he felt . . . what? He honestly couldn't name the feeling. But whatever it was, it was warm and comforting and beautiful.

Half dressed, he opened the door, not caring that Aureus would see his body.

"Hey, I need some help here."

Seeing him with the bra flapping around his chest, she giggled. "No shit."

She came in, turned him around, and fastened the bra. He pulled the pink tank top over his head. Tugging the top down, he turned to find Aureus holding two pairs of socks. He must have looked puzzled, because she pointed at his chest. Ah. Right. He pushed the socks down into the bra and stared at himself. Rather than feeling unwieldy, he felt, beautiful. Was that the word? The soft curves made him smile. In fact, he couldn't keep a grin off his face.

"Told you this would be fun," said Aureus. "Now, sit on that chair. We're not done yet."

Obediently, he sat, and she opened up another bag to pull out a makeup kit.

"Don't move," she warned him.

Thank God he'd shaved this morning. Wait, though. He'd shaved his face.

"Aur," he said, dead serious. "Should I shave my legs?"

She howled with laughter. "Sure, that's right. Get into the spirit of things. Didn't I tell you this was a great costume idea?"

He waited patiently as she applied makeup to his face, her fingers soft, the brushes tickling. Her tongue stuck out as she carefully drew on eyeliner, and he almost laughed again.

"Um, I've only got an electric razor," he said when she was done.

Aureus rolled her eyes. "All right, wait here. I'll go grab you one of mine."

He sat still on his desk chair. He hadn't seen himself yet, but he didn't need to. He crossed his legs, ignoring the hair for the time being. So this was what it felt like to be a girl. He was trembling with excitement, wanting to see what he looked like, but afraid at the same time. The clothes felt weird yet somehow right, like he'd been wearing the wrong size shoes for his whole life and suddenly put on a pair that fit.

Aureus returned, handing him a can of shaving foam and a disposable razor.

"Be careful in there," she advised. "And watch out for the ankles and behind the knees—they're a bitch to shave, and you'll probably cut yourself."

He let the bathroom door swing closed and locked it behind him before running water into the sink. Propping one leg up, he smoothed foam over his calf and carefully drew the razor up, leaving a thin hairless trail behind it. When the first leg was done, he rinsed it and patted it dry before starting on the second.

It was only when he was finished, had cleaned the sink, folded the towel, and re-capped the razor, he closed his eyes and turned around. Avoiding the bathroom mirror was such a natural action for him that he didn't think twice about groping for the lock and opening the door before opening his eyes again.

"Looking good!" said Aureus, who was waiting in the hallway. "Did you see yourself?"

He shook his head. "I'm sure you did a great job," he said, turning to his room door.

"No, no," Aureus said, taking his arm. "You gotta look. You look fantastic. Come on."

He didn't have the strength to stop her from opening the bathroom door and pulling him inside, though he protested loudly.

"Just look," she said, forcing him to turn and face the mirror.

His eyes were screwed tightly closed. "No, Aur, I . . ."

"Open your damn eyes, idiot."

And he did.

The mirror was full-length, stretching the length of the whole door. What he saw made him gasp and take a step forward. There in the mirror was him. The real him. This was no stranger. It wasn't the unrecognizable person who stared back at him unknown—this was him, complete and as familiar as the sound of his mother's voice.

His light blue eyes were round and wide, surrounded by black eyeliner, the lashes picked out with mascara. He slowly ran his hands over his waist and down the curve of his hips, his legs sleek and long appearing as the short skirt ended. His hair, already shaggy and long, looked a little off, but he could grow it out—it wasn't a problem. Keeping his legs shaved would take time, though.

It was only after a few seconds he realized he was thinking as though he could dress this way forever. He bit his lip, the thought of taking off the clothes too difficult right now.

"Don't you look awesome?" Aureus asked, oblivious to everything happening inside his head.

He nodded.

"Then, let's get out of here, girlfriend," she said, smiling.

And he liked the sound of the word "girlfriend."

***

The street was filled with people, everyone in costume, the crowd weaving in and out of each other. John walked carefully in the high heels Aureus chose for him. They were making their way down the street when someone beckoned to Aureus.

"That's Marie. She's in one of my classes," whispered Aureus as they approached.

"Hey, kids, want a drink?"

The tall girl in full ROTC uniform discretely handed Aureus a small flask, which she drank from before offering it to John, who shook his head.

"Still hung over from that frat party?" she teased.

"Probably," he said.

But the truth was he didn't need the alcohol. He was as relaxed and at ease as he'd ever been before in his life. He felt, well, normal—which for a college guy dressed in drag was probably not the right word, but screw it. It was Halloween, and this was fun, right? He couldn't let himself think about what would happen when the night was over.

And that's why, when they'd walked the street twice and Aureus asked him if he wanted to head home, he said no.

"Let's hit the party you were talking about," he said.

The party was in one of the sorority houses off main campus, and when they arrived, it was already in full swing. Aureus went to get a beer, but rather than wait for her, John found himself wandering about, talking to the odd face he recognized. A drunk sorority girl pulled out a phone and held it in front of her, yanking John close enough to her that she could kiss his cheek, taking a picture as she did so. He laughed and asked for her number so he could get a copy. A guy he thought he recognized from one of his classes jokingly felt him up, large hands cupping his waist, then moving up.

"Naughty, naughty," John teased him. "You should buy me a drink first."

He was only kidding, but at the same time, he enjoyed the attention. In fact, for once in his life, he didn't try to hide away, didn't try to make himself invisible. It felt good.

Aureus dragged him out of the party long after three in the morning. They walked slowly through campus, the night starting to turn to the gray of dawn.

"You did great tonight," said Aureus.

"It was fun," John said.

"Halloween should be every weekend," Aureus said, skipping a couple of steps. She wasn't drunk, only tipsy, and her hair was falling from under her cap.

"I'll wash your clothes," John said, aching to keep the outfit for a few days longer.

Aureus laughed. "They'd never fit me," she said. "I picked them up at the thrift store. Keep them as a memento of your first real Halloween."

John joined her laughter. She had no idea of the importance of the gift she had bestowed. Tonight had been the happiest night of his life.

*****