You woke up with a gasp in the middle of the night, gasping and sweating. The memory of the pirates still lingered in your mind, it would haunt you from time to time some nights. You glanced at Hannah's sleeping form, and decided to take a breath of fresh hair. You stepped outside, bare foot and stopped when you saw that someone was still sitting in front of the fire. 

You approached, hoping it was Felix. As you walked toward the figure, you started to realise it was not him. Instead of the blond haired and tall lanky boy, it was Willem, one of Pan's favourite lost boys for some reasons (actually you believed it was because of his other friends, Willem was everything but cruel). The way he talked about you when you were spying on him and the other with Hannah made you gag again and he glanced over his shoulder. His eyes widened, and sighed in relief. 

"Oh it's you." He mumbled, completely disinterested. 

You observed his face for a moment, he had red and puffy cheeks and it looked like he cried… Your heart sank at this thought. After all, the boys weren't there for no reason.

"Are… Are you alright?" You asked. 

"Uh… Yeah…" He sighed, drawing figures with a stick on the ground. "I am fine."

You took a seat next to him and observed his drawing. It looked like a family… You glanced at him again, his eyes were focused on it. 

"Is this your family?" You questioned, in a soft voice.

"Yeah…" He replied simply. 

"Did…" You gulped. "Did something happen to them?" 

"They were killed." 

Your breath hitched in surprise, and suddenly you wanted to just hug the young boy. He looked so sad and so hurt, it was painful for you to watch. Silent tears started to run down his cheeks again but he didn't make any sounds. You stayed silent for a moment and didn't dare to say anything else. 

"I…" He said but stopped immediately after, searching for his words. "They were killed when I turned sixteen. I was always such a coward, I didn't even try to stand up to them, to protect my family. They killed them, burnt down our houses… I mean, what could we expect from these saxons. We did it for them too. But… I don't remember much after that. Pan found me after, stranded on the island. " 

"I am sorry. I didn't know." 

"No one knows. I don't understand why my gods decided to send me away like that… Why have they decided to let me live? The memories haunt me. If only I had done something to protect them…" 

"You would have been killed too. At least, you are alive to keep their memories and live up in their names." You murmured, taking his hand and giving it a soft squeeze. 

His eyes wandered to your hand for a moment and he faintly smiled. Still, you could see how hurt he was and wondered if he would ever heal and find peace from what he witnessed. Some minutes later, you came back to your tent, leaving the albino boy alone with his thoughts.

The next morning, when you woke up, you realised that Hannah wasn't here. You frowned, sighing, thinking that Pan must have taken her somewhere. You quickly dressed up for the day and stepped outside. Not a minute after you left, Felix stomped toward you and pulled you back inside. 

“Hey!” You protested, tripping over your own legs. “What is wrong with you?” You asked a little angry.

“Hannah saw you with Willem yesterday night, you were holding hands.” He said coldly, glaring at you for some reasons and you huffed. 

“So what? You are jealous? I was just trying to make him feel better.” 

“I am not jealous!” Felix spoke loudly. 

You opened your mouth to defend yourself again but someone yelling outside stopped you from doing so. It was Hannah’s voice that startled both of you and you both rushed outside to see what I was happening. The red haired girl was hiding her face with her hands, and you looked at her. What was happening? You followed Lénoard and Andy who were rushing back to camp from a hunt, and watched in horror as Pan had his fist full of Willem’s hair, dragging him over the biggest fire of the camp. He had several bruises on his face already and you wondered if it was because of you. Maybe you shouldn’t have talked to Willem that night… 

“You broke a very, very important rule last night Willem.” Pan said almost sweetly, the demon was actually enjoying this. “You know the consequences.”

He didn’t let Willem reply. Instead, Pan swiftly lifted the young man’s head above the fire, and Willem let out a bloody scream, his face being burnt by the intense heat of the fire. You gasped, and your body moved on its own but Felix prevented you from trying to save him. After one long minute, Pan threw the boy on the ground, who curled on himself, his hands on his face. You made eye contact with the ruler of Neverland for one second and you saw all evil inside of those green orbs. He grinned before leaving without saying a word.

Some other boys rushed to Willem when they were assured that Pan was really gone from the camp and you desperately wanted to talk to him, apologizing for trying to help him. Felix was silent besides you, as well as Hannah, who was crying quietly. When you moved forward to just say a few words to Willem as Ekon and Miguel passed by, carrying him, Tony approached you and pushed you roughly. 

“Don’t you dare talk to him ever again!” He yelled. “This is all your fault!” 

“I didn’t do anything!” You snapped back, surprising yourself. “I just spoke to him!” 

“Then maybe you girls should learn how to shut up.” Tony growled menacingly before joining the others in Willem’s tent. 

You looked over at Felix, who wasn’t saying anything. That was the problem: why didn’t he try to stop Pan? Why didn’t he stand up to him? Why didn’t he say something? He should have at least tried! Timotheos with a boy you didn’t know came back from the tent, your friend had a gloomy face and you immediately knew it meant bad news. 

“He is burnt pretty bad…” He explained. “Like… very bad. We hope he will survive this.” 

“Why didn’t anyone try to stop Pan from hurting him!” You screamed. “Why are you all scared of him?!”

“And why didn’t you do something too? Don’t put that on our backs, we didn’t have any problems until you came along!” The other boy yelled back, silencing you. 

“Stop!” Felix said, pushing you aside. “Go calm down.” He spoke sternly. 

You turned your back on him and left in the Jungle, not bothering to take any weapons. You didn’t understand why no one stood up for Willem, he was not really liked, that you understood but they still should have! He was part of the lost boys, they all went through difficult times in their past lives… You stopped near a river, and sat down on the ground, throwing rocks at the river angrily. 

“(Y/N)...” A soft voice whispered behind you.

You glanced over your shoulder to see Hannah looking at you with red cheeks, tears still streaming down her face and her lips still quivering. You rolled your eyes and went back to your activity, ignoring her: why was she crying so much? 

“I am sorry… You and Willem…” She started as she sat down besides you.

“Oh my god!” You cried as you stood up abruptly. “I was just trying to help him! I am not even his fucking friend!” You yelled as you threw several rocks in the river, until you didn’t have any strength to do so. 

Hannah stayed quiet, watching you with her beautiful eyes. You laid back on the ground, not caring to get dirty and watched the sky above. It was blue, with no cloud. A beautiful day and yet a horror had been committed. You wondered if Willem will ever forgive you. You started to feel it was your fault, for just wanting to help. You stopped for a moment, focusing on what happened. How did Pan find out you were speaking to him last night? Recalling the occurrence quickly in your head, you remembered that Felix told you it was Hannah who alerted him about the odd event. You turned to stare at her and she must have sensed the hatred you started to feel toward her.

“You told Felix about me and Willem?” You asked, trying to contain your anger.

“Yes… But I meant no harm! I didn’t want this to happen! I am so, so sorry.” She started to cry again. “Pan overheard us and he was so, so scary to look at. I thought he was going to kill me or Felix…”

“Why would you even talk to Felix?!” You screamed at her, lunging at her, your fist raised, ready to strike down, your body clearly moving on its own. “This is all your fault!”

When you were about to hit her, someone pushed you out of the red haired girl and you fell besides her harshly. Hannah stood up, sobbing in a hysteric way and running to someone. You stood up slowly, your ribs hurting and your eyes widened at the sight of the other girl hugging Felix closely, her face on his chest while he seemed to be very uncomfortable with the position but tried to help her calm down awkwardly. Was she serious? You thought she knew about you and the second in command’s relationship… Well, everything was complicated now. 

“What is wrong with you?” He questioned, pulling you out of your mind. 

“Right, everything is wrong with me, nothing with you all.” You huffed, storming out of the place again, looking for a safe haven.

You couldn’t understand why suddenly, everyone turned against you. It wasn’t like it was your fault that Pan was a psychopath. They maybe even knew of his tendencies, even Willem and still he talked to you! You hit a rock with your foot with a growl. If only Hannah had shut up for once, none of this would have happened. 

As you walked down a path, you didn’t realise the net which was hidden by a few leaves. When you stepped on it, the trap closed on you and you were suddenly above the ground. You groaned, of course it would happen to you. That day was going better and better. You didn’t even have a knife or a dagger, and if you did, cutting the net would have been too dangerous. You would have broken some bones or worse, killing yourself. You heard some chuckles and a blond haired woman stepped in, looking at you with amusement.

“I didn’t know there was a girl here.” 

“I am with the Lost Boys!” You replied quickly, hoping it would scare her into releasing you.

“A girl with the lost ones?” She sounded surprised. “Are you perhaps Pan’s dinner?”

“I rather not.” 

“I like you.” She laughed. “Let me get you down. But don’t try anything! I would gladly cut you open.”

“I don’t have any weapons.” 

Sometimes later, you found yourself in the woman’s home, which was half in the wilderness of Neverland, half in a cave but also above ground, with a tree house linked to it. You were surprised at how nice she seemed, Pan and the boys never told you about anyone living out there like them. For them, the only “danger” was Hook and his pirates. While you walked down to her home, she told you her name was Tinkerbell, and you gave her yours. You thought it was an odd name but didn’t dare to speak your mind, you didn’t want to hurt her feelings. You sat down, and watched as she returned with a homemade kettle that she set down on the wooden table. You were a bit nervous about meeting someone new but needed to put on a brave face. It seemed that she could sense it, and she chuckled again softly.

“I didn’t know someone else was living there.” You started, breaking the awkward silence. “No one mentioned it.”

“The boys pretend I don’t live here. They aren’t the best neighbours.” 

“I can agree with that…” 

“But Pan and I are trusted allies.” She commented, glancing at you as she poured a drink into a glass. “I help him and he helps me.”

“How can you work with that dirty weasel...” You groaned, looking at your drink. 

“I see you have some… problems with him?” 

“He thinks I belong to him. I don’t. What is that?” You asked, pointing at the glass with your finger.

“Something to relax you. You look tense and angry. May I ask why?”

You watched first as she drank her own glass before doing the same, not feeling in the mood of being poisoned. You then decided to tell her your whole story, from being captured by pirates in your hometown, to Felix rescuing you and to what happened to Willem this morning. All the way, she was nodding and listening to you without interrupting you. 

“Well, (Y/N), it is quite a tale.” She told you after you finished your story. “I can see you have already changed.”

“Changed? What do you mean?” You questioned, confused. She didn't even know you, and yet she was saying those kinds of things.

“I don’t want to lie to you, but… I already knew who you were when you first set foot here. Pan told me about you.”

You felt like an idiot right now. You wondered why Pan mentioned you to Tinkerbell, what could she have done about you? 

“Oh.” 

It was all you could mutter, as you finished your drink. It was very good to be honest and you started to feel calmer. The blond haired woman sighed and stared at you. 

“Neverland is starting to eat you. I bet you weren’t that angry before, right? That may be the effect of this place. If you don’t control yourself better… Maybe you will become like them, a mindless little puppet of Pan, only here to serve and be controlled.”

“I am not his slave.” You muttered. “I am not like them. I won’t become like them.” You tried to comfort yourself with those words but they had no power. “Why did I have to land there?” You asked tearfully. 

“Maybe this is fate.” Tinkerbell replied. “Don’t lose hope. You seem far stronger than that other girl. She does seem like a viper if you ask me. And if you want advice about Felix… Just don’t. It will have more consequences than you think. Pan would have his head on a spike and you… I don’t want to think about it.” 

“But that means I have to live under Pan’s rules! And I don’t want it! Either way, I have to succumb to his way of life and I don’t want it!” You shouted, slamming your fists on the table.

“The only ways out are escaping the island which is impossible or killing him.” 

You stopped breathing at that and rose your eyes to the woman’s face. She seemed very serious about it. Why would she mention that, in front of you? Wasn’t she a friend (if you could call her that) of Pan’s? 

“What?” You tilted your head in confusion.

“It is… easier than escaping.” She pointed out. It seemed like she had planned this since the beginning. 

“If he catches you speaking like that…”

“He won’t.” Tinkerbell sternly said. “What you don’t realise is that Pan is getting weaker and weaker each day. He tries to hide it but he can’t. He needs something specific, something very rare and he can’t seem to find it. The Shadow will soon have his due.”

“Why are you saying this to me?” 

“You seem capable of finding a way to take Pan’s throne and place. I can’t because… It is not something I want to talk about. But know that if you desire so, you can summon the Shadow. It doesn’t belong to Pan, it has his own free will and mind. Speak to him. Please.” 

You stayed silent, suddenly everything was too much to handle. You just wanted one day of silence. One day where nobody could come and be mean or annoy you. You slowly stood up, feeling dizzy and worn out by all the events. She watched you like you were a little prey, you didn’t know why, but she reminded you of a cat. She was waiting for your reply. 

“I will… I will try to talk to the Shadow.” You reluctantly mumbled. “I need to go.” 

You decided to return to the camp, knowing you wouldn’t be alone wherever you would go. You regretted having snapped at everyone, you felt like some boys deserved apologies, especially Felix and Willem. But all your bravery and excuses shattered when you saw two of the boys guarding the camp glaring at you. You forgot how some were really insane and bloodthirsty. You shuddered when you walked past them, you wondered if they always were that way. You then remembered Tinkerbell’s words about Neverland eating you. If you weren’t careful enough, you would become rotten and cruel like most of them. 

You glanced over one of the smallest campfires, and you immediately stopped, your jaw clenching and your blood boiling with anger again. Hannah was sitting close, very close to Felix, her head touching his shoulder. She was smiling and talking, and the boy was not moving and seemed to be listening to what she was saying. Felix didn’t belong to you but you felt like it was treason for some reasons: she knew that you liked him. She knew and she looked like she wanted to steal him away from you. It was not fair. You crossed your arms over your chest as you walked away on the other side of the camp, where your other friends were. 

Andy was sharpening a dagger, alone, near Timotheos and Léonard’s shared tent. He gave you a small and sweet smile as you strolled in. You offered him a smile, well at least you tried. Suddenly, you just wanted a shoulder to cry on but decided to keep your feelings and emotions inside, not wanting to bother your friend. 

“Hey, you okay?”

“I will manage.” You replied, taking a seat next to him. “What are you doing?” 

“A little gift for you! You made so much effort and you improved really well at fighting! Actually, it was Léonard’s idea to give you something and he plans to do so, but… Here. I made it myself!” He stated proudly, handing you the sharp object. 

You took it with care and inspected it closer. It was truly beautiful: the handle was made of oak and the blade had small decorations on it. You wondered how much time he spent on it and you hugged the boy tightly with a huge smile on your face. That was making your day better.

“Thank you so much! I love it!”

“You’re welcome!” He chuckled. 

“Hey, I said we were offering our gifts together dipshit!” A voice boomed from behind you.

Léonard and Timotheos appeared, stepping out from their tent, their hairs disheveled and… Why were Timotheos cheeks faintly red? He limped toward you and you let him your sitting spot, knowing how hard it was for him to stay up. 

“So you do have something for me?” You singed with a giggle.

“Yes I do.” He sighed, sending small glares at the chubby boy. “And we wanted to give you something at the same time, not separately.”

“She needed to be cheered on! Especially after what happened with Willem and Hannah just taking Felix for himself…”

“Are you saying I am jealous?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at Andy, because you clearly were. “Felix can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business.” 

You could see at their faces they weren’t buying your lies but they didn’t act on it. They just stayed quiet for some seconds before Timotheos cleared his throat and told Léonard to get the gift. The French boy rolled his eyes before leaning and taking something off the ground. You approached, fascinated by the weapon, that you quickly realised was an axe. 

“Timotheos and I made it. It was pretty hard finding the right materials but… We did it.” He claimed with a proud smile.

“Don’t worry, it is the right fit for you.” The other boy explained, his chest out. “It is my most prettiest work to be honest. Willem helped for the ornaments and the runes in it. We even found a very small emerald in a nearby cave and decided to put it in your axe. Use it wisely… Or not.” He smirked darkly. 

“Thank you… This is too much…” You smiled, overjoyed. 

“You deserve it. Really. Now, let’s see if you can use them well.” Léonard said, grinning as he took his own weapon.

When night fell on the island, it was oddly quiet. There was no celebration, no dance, no music. The boys all went to sleep early. You returned from your training session pretty late, and as you were about to enter the camp, you saw Felix and Hannah together again, and your heart started to fall apart. You then decided to go bath in a small lagoon nearby, it was well hidden so you were sure no boy could sneak on you and watch. You didn't want to deal with a heartbreak. 

You slipped into the water, which was incredibly warm. You slowly started to relax, and you could feel how tense you were. The place looked magical, with little firefly and lightning bugs spinning and flying around.You closed your eyes with a soft hum, allowing yourself to rest for a short moment not aware of the danger around you. 

“What a pretty lady is doing here, alone, at night?” 

You gasped and tried to hide yourself into the water but unfortunately the water was transparent, so he could see everything. Pan was walking toward you with an enigmatic smile, that looked horrible in your point of view. You tried to put on a brave face. You weren’t afraid of him, you kept telling yourself, you weren’t anymore. He approached and sat on the edge, his feets dangling above the water. You bet he had watched you undressing, it sounded just like him. His smile grew more and it looked like had fangs on. It was indeed frightening. 

“You didn’t reply to my question, lady.” 

“Leave me alone.” You breathe out. “I am tired of playing your games. I just want one nice moment by myself.” 

“Tired of playing games? But not tired of training? You sure are full of secrets, and I don’t like that. But what you don’t know, my lady, is that the game is just starting…”

“What do you mean?” You asked, growing scared suddenly and backing off. 

He laughed, ignoring your interrogation. You wanted to run off, to hide somewhere but it was impossible. You were too ashamed of going out naked in the jungle. At least, maybe you could go to Tinkerbell’s?

“Listen to me very, very carefully, lady.” His face changed, looking mean and menacing. “I offered you the easiest way of living here but of course, you had to decide to complicate things. That’s why I don’t really enjoy girls, you always snoop around, try to… try to find ways to anger me and you sometimes succeed…”

“I am sorry but I don’t want to die.” You cut him, surprising yourself again for the burst of confidence and courage. “I know about the girls you killed, Hook told me. I won’t fall for you Pan. I am not scared of you.”

“You should.” He hissed. “You don’t realise what you are saying to me, lady. Be ready to cry every night for not choosing the easy path. I won’t go easy on you. I will break you every way possible.”

With those threats, you couldn’t even speak. You started to shake, from the sudden coldness of the water and from fear. He seemed to see that as he laughed and mocked you one last time before disappearing in a green cloud. You rushed out of the water, tried to dry yourself quickly before running toward Tinkerbell’s shack, with your axe in hands. You didn’t want to appear weak now, and you knew how dangerous the forest could be at night. You heard the animals that roamed the island before.

You bursted into her home, and the blond haired woman looked at you in surprise, not expecting you. You were breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. You walked toward her and sat down, your eyes pleading. You knew you had no chance against Peter Pan on your own and so you needed extra help and advice. 

“Where can I find the Shadow?”