The abruptness with which Neva was excused for the evening could only mean one thing; Padmé was expecting her Jedi to visit. The relief that had suffused the Senator's features when she had returned that afternoon had meant two things: one, her Jedi was alive and two, she had revealed her news that she was expecting their child. This was only a guess, mind, but Neva was almost certain that had been the case.

Truthfully, she had never seen Padmé's secret visitor visit the apartments, Padmé was far too careful for that. But she been in politics long enough and had spent enough time with the Senator to notice the subtle cues that had implicated Anakin. Padmé guarded herself in very particular ways when she was around him, and was always very careful with her reactions whenever the Hero with No Fear was mentioned. It was surprisingly easy to decode, really, though Neva suspected that was in part because she guarded herself in much the same way whenever her own Jedi was mentioned. Not only that, but on occasion the Senator did slip up, revealing hints of how extensive her feelings for the young Jedi went.

Really, Neva's suspicions had been roused even before the beginning of the Wars when, due to the attempts on her life, Senator Amidala had returned to Naboo for her own safety. Before disappearing into the Lake Country, She and Anakin, who had been serving as her protector then, had attended a brief, impromptu meeting with Queen Jamillia. As the Amidala's arrival was so unexpected, the only Council Members that had been present for the Senator's Reports were the ones who had already been in conference with the Queen when the Senator arrived; Governor Bibble, Minister Zapalo and Neva herself. The romantic and sexual tension between the Senator and the Jedi had been almost uncomfortable it was so intense. Neva had thought little of it at the time, but later, after having experienced her own romance and once she joined Padmé's staff on Coruscant, it had been undeniable that there had been something between them then already. Since then, things had obviously changed between the pair. The tension was not gone, per se, but was more subtle, more stable, more affectionate, even. There was little doubt in Neva's mind after that, and her certainty grew every time she saw them interact, especially as Anakin was not nearly so careful as Padmé, and certainly not very subtle. His feelings for the former Queen were all but laid bare every time he spoke of her. Whatever they had, he was not content to hide it or even capable of doing so.

So, when Padmé had politely sent Neva on her way that evening, Neva knew almost instinctively that it was because Anakin was likely to make an appearance. And truthfully, she was glad. This war was hard on everyone, especially on the Naboo Senator and her staff. They longed for peace; only Alderaan was known more for their devotion to pacifism than Naboo. The Naboo lived for democracy, and that was something this war was categorically ignoring. Very little got Padmé more riled up than when the Chancellor was granted more emergency powers, or when some democratic process was circumvented in the name of the war effort. The Senator, and Neva too when (or rather, if) she was asked, strongly advocated for Peace Talks rather than Battles whenever anyone would listen. Unfortunately, no one seemed to want to listen, and that simple fact was taking a toll on the Senator. Any time that Padmé had with her Jedi, even if it was only for a few moments, always boosted her spirits. Whatever the Senator and the Jedi had, it must be truly special. It was enough to make Neva green with envy, regardless of how happy she was for her friend.

During their brief time together on Naboo, Obi-wan's presence had had much the same effect on her. While their initial meeting in the Throne Room had been somewhat rocky, she soon came to respect the Jedi greatly.

The first time they had encountered each other privately, he had actually apologized for coming across as though the Jedi thought the Advisory Council ignorant of the Separatist threat on their planet. Unfortunately, she hadn't taken the apology as graciously as she could have, and that was something she regretted deeply. So much so that she had sought him out the next day, meeting in much the same manner as the previous morning.

It was in one of the Palace's many private gardens, shortly after dawn three days after he had first appeared in Theed and five days after she had been named Regent. She had inadvertently met him there the day before, when things had not gone as well as they could have. So, when she caught sight of him walking quietly among the spring blooms, her heart leapt into her throat. She hadn't known what it was that made her so nervous around him. At first she had thought, perhaps, that it was a bit of latent hero-worship. After all, he had helped save them when the Trade Federation had attempted to invade.

Their meeting in the Throne Room hadn't really been their first introduction, though she doubted he would remember the first. She was a newly appointed Princess when the Invasion had occurred, and had been at the Celebration Parade after the victory over the Federation. There had been a small Gala hosted by the leaders of Naboo to show their gratitude to those responsible for ensuring Naboo's freedom. It was during that party that Queen Amidala had introduced the Princesses to the Jedi and his newly minted apprentice, Anakin. Neva had to admit Kenobi had been a childhood crush of hers thanks to that meeting.

Obi-wan had changed very little since then. His face was still handsome and kind, though with the odd crease that hadn't been there before. His eyes had no longer held the sadness at his Master's death that she remembered from the Gala, but instead held a graveness borne of the Wars. He had also since grown a beard, which she thought suited him. She hadn't been able help but watch him for a few moments that morning. He had moved silently through the gardens, his fingers every so often reaching out to brush against the newly opened petals that lined the path. In that moment she had envied the Jedi his mastery of the Force. Though she had met very few Jedi in her life, one thing she had noticed of all of them was the calm and peace they exuded. They all felt safe. Obi-wan Kenobi was no exception. Even now she remembered that, from across the garden, she could practically feel the tranquility she had come to associate with the Order.

As if hearing her thoughts, he had chosen that moment to look up, meeting her gaze. As soon as those blue-grey eyes met her hazel ones, her anxieties began to melt away. It was an extraordinary feeling, and to this day, she had no idea whether he had purposefully helped ease her mind, or if it was merely a reaction to his presence. Either way, she found she was far calmer because of it, and for that she had been immeasurably grateful. They had met up in the centre of the garden, and thanks to her calmed mind, Neva found she was able to apologize properly. But before she had even been able to finish, he had cut her off, the hint of a smile on his face.

"There is no need, Milady. It was perfectly clear that you were rather distressed yesterday morning, and I was in no way offended by your reaction. Especially upon discovering for myself how things seem to have escalated since you accepted the position as Regent." Neva could easily remember the feel of the blood leaving her face, but Obi-wan had continued, understanding written on every word, "I have heard of the threats made against your person since your motion was passed. Though I have not spent much time on Naboo, I know enough that it is entirely unusual for such a level of violence to be levelled against its politicians. I also know that it means there is a very real threat to you." Neva had tried to smile, but it had failed miserably. It was true. Serious threats had been made against Neva by that point. Threats of that magnitude against the lives of politicians on Naboo were rare indeed, and always taken very seriously, especially after the assassination of King Veruna.

"The Mining Guilds have taken the Council's stance on postponing public legislation proposals rather personally, I fear. And as I am the Regent, and likely the next Queen, they hold me responsible. Plus, as my platform for Election includes keeping Naboo's ports open to refugees, their anger is not likely to recede. Even now, many have begun campaigning against me. It's unheard of." He had looked at her strangely then, giving her the feeling that he could read her like a book. She had begun to nervously play with the beaded suspensas hanging from the broach over her collarbone. Even then she had been unable to keep anything from him and she had barely known him. He was far too perceptive for her comfort, sometimes.

"There is something else troubling you, Milady. Something unrelated to the threats against you." He had picked up on her hesitation at mention of her impending election. It had been evident then already that it was less and less likely that she would be passed over that election, even with the discontent being roused by the Guilds. She had sighed then, and in a somewhat uncharacteristic moment of candidness, she had spilled her anxieties about being elected to a position she had been passed over repeatedly for, and had recently realized that she didn't want. She had even told him of her dreams of one day returning to Fara, and taking over the Dressmaking business her family had run for generations or maybe even opening a small shop in Theed. He had listened patiently, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder when she had finished.

Until that moment, she hadn't realized just how much the stress had been weighing on her. For the first time in a very long time, Obi-wan's company allowed her to not only release some of her anxieties, but to restore that inner calm that she had been struggling to regain. Looking back, she was pretty sure that was when she started falling in love with him. His hand on her shoulder was comforting in a way she hadn't been expecting, as his was willingness to listen to Neva. She was used to people listening to Amalia, but it was rare that anyone just listened to Neva. It was something she hadn't realized she had been longing for. Their gazes met then, and something had passed between them, something she still couldn't explain, but a connection had been forged nonetheless.

Even now, years after they had decided a true relationship was not possible, she still felt it. There was never going to be anyone else for her. Like Padmé, who was even now likely in the arms of her Jedi, Neva had found her soulmate, only to be barred from him by the rules of his Order. Had he been anything but a Jedi, they could have made a future together. Anakin and Padmé obviously made it work, to some extent. Then again, Anakin was far more headstrong and impulsive than Obi-wan. From what the older Jedi had told her, Anakin had always been that way, and had frequently ignored and broken the rules; admittedly he hadn't been raised to it the way other Jedi were, and that had influenced many of the younger Jedi's actions. Obi-wan, on the other hand, was far more bound by the Code than his former apprentice, and he very much lived his life by the rules of the Jedi.

But what kind of life was it, really, that Padmé and Anakin were eking out? All the secrets, the lies? The secrecy and deception was beginning to tear Padmé apart; Neva could see it a little more everyday. And now there was a child involved. She didn't know how they were going to manage it, or how Padmé was going to endure it.

Neva couldn't fathom being unable to tell her child about its father. The Naboo as a people were so family-oriented, Neva wasn't sure how Padmé was going to cope emotionally. Anakin couldn't be a true father to their child, not without risking everything they both had. As much as Neva longed to find a way to make her love work as her friend had, she couldn't even imagine putting Obi-wan, or herself for that matter, through that kind of heartache.

Instead she had resigned herself to live with another kind of heartache. Having retreated to the secrecy of her own apartments, Neva began preparing herself to retire, shedding the heavy, forest green surcoat she wore almost the instant she passed over the threshold. As per usual, the first thing she did was let loose her hair from its elaborate coiled style to fall in dark cascading waves down her back. The expectation of intricate hairstyles in Naboo Royal and Political fashion was one part of public life she had always hated.

As she shook her hair out, gently massaging feeling back into her scalp, she made her way over to her desk, delving into one of the deeper drawers for the Personal Holoprojector she kept hidden there. Small enough to fit in the palm of her hand, it didn't take her long at all to scroll through the projections she had saved on it to get to the one she needed to see at that moment.

It was a small sound-less clip from a Holonet broadcast about 'The Negotiator' that she had saved. It had been focused on one or another of Obi-wan's battles, she really wasn't sure which, but it was an image of him, immortalized. He looked rather serious as he surveyed something, his arms crossed pensively as he stroked his beard, but there was a hint of a smile around his mouth, and his eyes held nothing but the kindness Neva had noticed right from the beginning. It encapsulated him so perfectly, that she hadn't been able to fight the impulse that made her save it. On most nights when she felt the need to see his face, she always managed to draw some comfort from it. Tonight, however, seeing his face wasn't enough.

Sighing sadly, Neva turned the Holoprojector off. But she couldn't put it away. Instead, she allowed herself to lie back, not caring that she was creasing the coppery-green fabric of her dress. She just lay there, turning the small silver and black item over and over in her hands as she did until, finally, her thoughts became dreams, and she slept.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

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