you take your knee and part my thighs,
a boat sailing backwards up a stream that has yet to welcome it.

my leg instinctively pushes back,
a wave crashing into a man-made dam without any sign of a budge.

that's when the panic sets in,
a claustrophobic woman,
trapped between the strong arms that should've secured her
and
trapped between the sheets.

so instead of the overflowing river breaking the dam that would've swept away the city,
the water prepares to overflow and flood from my eyes.
because i loved you,
i love you...

your voice is velvet through the dark,
that usually calms my soul but now the once gentle touch is raw.

i'm looking for any sign that i can reach up for safety like a baby does when they see their mothers;
but all that's above me is creamy skin,
skin,
skin;
i do not feel secure.

in this vulnerability,
i am trapped mentally and physically.
i never had a plan of what to do,
in this situation,
i thought i wasn't going to be a woman in another magazine's named followed by that four letter r word;
after all,
you said you loved me too.

i said yes to other things,
but i didn't say 'yes' to this too.