* * *

Since being sick the past few days, Sage hardly had the time or energy to venture to her hidden oasis. It hadn't been all that hard to pick out, and the scent of her wolf had managed to keep it intact.
Others wouldn't venture this far, not when the brush she created did its task of covering the trail.

It had been a small climb down, but it was worth it. Especially when she had a curve of the lake all to herself, the small sandlot provided shade and comfort. All while giving her the perfect angle of the territory, it wasn't far out of reach—And if need be, she could swim.

With the distance, however, it allowed her the opportunity to breathe. Maeve wasn't annoying...Per say, but she certainly asked a lot of questions.
Making her age much younger than Sage initially thought.

Humming along, Sage moved aside her vines. At a simple touch, they started to retract on their own, revealing what was hidden underneath a sturdy tree trunk.

What she considered to be her prized possessions, as of late.

It was a large flat stone she had found on one of her findings in the river, there were no canvases or paints that she could purchase. No Remus to help her order a stockpile, so she made do with what she had.

Though she decided that it certainly wouldn't need to be colored in, it was perfect in the sketch stage as is. She asked Hazel to fashion her a stencil to write and scrap against the rough surface of the stone. She delivered, with plenty of options.

The smaller ones were safely tucked away in a makeshift bag. Protected by the elements. She was thinking of taking them back to her room eventually. It wouldn't be too hard to offer a place on the wall, and it'd make her feel better to wake up to the face of her loved ones.

Ronan and Rue were starting to become more recognizable as she allowed the pointed tip to scratch their widened smile—It was one of her favorite pictures of the two. Ronan was holding Rue in his lap. It was featured as her phone's background, and also had a place at her bedside. Remus surprised her with it one afternoon, his excuse being that they didn't have enough pictures of them printed out.

And it was true, but then the guilt sunk in.

Sage had been so busy taking pictures of Remus with the pups that she hardly recalled being in them herself.
Did the pups remember her?

Do they miss her?

She needed to stop her train of thought, but it only offered more questions, leaving her to place down her unfinished piece and look out to the water. Her hand offered a few twitches in hopes of releasing the tension in her heart and soul.

Instead, she brought out the smaller stone, one of Luke—The first one she ever did. As it hurt too much to recall Remus and his all too eager grin he'd have when she'd say something witty or tease him.

"My bear is bigger now..." She whispered off to Luke, and then her smirk rose off towards Liam. The male hadn't gotten one last year, and she hoped that he managed well enough this time around.

If not, she was sure that in the coming years, he'd get the chance.

Then her eyes wandered off towards Jack, her running buddy, her Delta. As much as Maeve was starting to improve in attitude—When she referred to her as being the third in command, she was prepared to see Jackson.
Completely shirtless and with a joke ready to pop into the conversation, no matter how random it was to the topic at hand.
And with Jack around, Eli was usually not too far behind...Ready to smack him upside the head.

The rest of her family lay in front of her, her father—Her mother.
It felt like they were all here with her, all paired up in small pocket-sized frames.

It could be considered torture, and she sure didn't feel better after getting the image out of her head; No. Sage wanted the real thing.

She wanted to get reprimanded by her father for being in the bathroom for too long without anyone.
Or even get blindsided by Blake for being angry, and that's when she broke further.

One of the many promises she had given Blake when they started the relationship of being Charge and Mentor was to be there for one another.
And unknowingly, she failed.

In an event to try and remember everyone, she started sketchy out the easier ones. The Elwoods held one corner, her siblings and parents in another—And before she knew it, almost thirty small stones lingered around her.

Her eyes soon lingered on Eli, and the first time meeting him had swallowed her whole. The familiarity she felt was in being introduced to her future Beta, that he had no issues with her being on pack grounds.

Leaving her mouth to curl in recalling the hundreds of times she had teased about being almost been kicked out to Remus. As if he didn't have enough personal guilt on the matter.

"I miss you...All of you." Her chest heaved both in being anxious as well as pride. The sentences she was forming were getting on track, and nobody here faulted her for having trouble. Not when the pups were learning, or others felt like they had lost touch with society as well.

The standards in Black Crescent weren't high.
Everyone helped everyone. Like it's meant to be.

The hours had passed by without change. She simply looked at the faces and tried to hear their voices. Attempting to hold to the conversations, even if they weren't important.
It was enough, and better yet—It made her wolf feel much better.

"Sage...? Alpha?" The voice called out, and her eyes began to burn. She didn't want anyone here, not seeing her this weak or in pain. But her warning growl indicated a location, so it wasn't at all a surprise to see Elena push the barrier to see just where Sage had hidden all this time.

Sage nodded before looking out towards the water. The moon was no longer felt as bright as it once was. It was a key reminder of what Remus said, that he'd walk the moon.

Making Darius' words echo through her mind.

"Dinner's almost ready...Why don't we get cleaned up? The pups made some more soap with the witches." It was a pure temptation. She could use an honest scrub down, but the idea sounded like too much work, and she felt drained as is.

She always was when she left the sandlot.

"Alpha?" The Beta female offered as she started to come closer, and Sage reacted by wiping her hand to her cheeks as she sniffled. An uncontrollable urge to dismiss the Beta had overcome her, though it was withheld as Sage didn't want to speak.

Nor did she want to be left alone.

The she-wolf fell to her knees, her hand latched onto Sage's risen ones. The contact felt nice, and thus, the first layer had cracked, her eyes gesturing to the crowd in front of them.

To say the Beta was shocked was an understatement, the knowledge of the natural elements in the world was one thing. But seeing Sage's work on display made her eyes widen, picking one of the many that caused her to huff.

"Cameron. Brother." Elena nodded, before pointing them all out. And each one resulted in a name and relation. Leaving Elena to catch a glimpse of the life Sage had left behind.

"And this one?"
"Pups...Rue and Ronan." She said, pointing out the two. The saddened smile caused Elena to revert to a touching embrace, her arms wrapped behind her Alpha—And before Sage knew it, her body conformed to the warmth.

It wasn't weak, she would do this once in a while to Remus. Before she knew it, Elena began to speak, her voice whispering affirmations that allowed Sage to breathe fluently and close her eyes.

Allowing herself the chance to listen to someone else other than just her thoughts

"I'm sure everyone here...Everyone right in front of you misses you."
"Pups will forget me." Sage rallied, and Elena instantly shook her head. Sage felt it against her own, especially the light kiss on her temple that truly sanctioned the start of something new.

"I can't remember the last time I saw my family, but I can remember parts of their faces when I really think about them. They'll remember, and when you see them again, they'll recognize you instantly. Pups bounce back—We'll bounce back." The unsteady inhale pushed Elena to continue her comforting whispers and even going so far as to run her hands through her Alpha's hair, the tactic worked much better now than before.

However, Sage had other plans, her instinct was to touch her mark—The desperation of wanting to feel a connection with her mate was rising the longer she gazed at his stone. Her hand went to the scarred-over tissue that Remus had made when they completed the mate bond.
She hoped for anything, a simple spark from him.

But there was nothing, only more torture to what she was already doing. She doubted it looked the same as it once had. Before, when it had the change to heal correctly under his lavishing tongue...There hasn't been a mirror since the pathetic excuse of a bathroom back at the Army base. But even then she steered clear of it and its reflection.

No part of her wanted to be remembered as the girl from the facility, the one that Harlow and Jade first met.

Elena caught on quick enough and interlocked her hands into the Alpha's. Fighting so often to stop her from falling down the rabbit hole of doubt. "Don't...It's not worth it."

The voice of reason locked Sage in her hold, and the comfort was making it easier to breathe.

While she held the pups more than a few times a day, she had always been the one to give them comfort. Not receive it.

The two sat there long after dinner, even if it was one of Sage's rules to be present—Her legs felt numb, and the strength she'd attempted to endure for the last few days had finally been eaten up.

It wasn't wise for the rest of the females to see her in this state, regardless.

Though, Elena only suggested that they get back to the cave once it started to drizzle, though she aided in carrying the makeshift skin bag to make the trip easier.

Knowing that these couldn't be left out in the rain.

The night shift greeted them with a plate of leftovers, but Sage couldn't dare try and stomach anything. Instead, Elena had wrapped a supportive arm around the Alpha and motioned for her to the Bear-skinned bed, trying to hold back her laughter as they came across two slumbering pups.

"I can find an extra Deer skin if—" Elena began offered, but Sage had simply placed down her own bag and nicked her head towards the pups.

Right now, all Sage needed was the comfort of pups. Even if they weren't hers.

"Good night, Alpha Sage," Elena whispered, coming forth to rub her cheek against hers in solidarity that she knew that tonight should not be mentioned again. But Sage's gaze followed her Beta female as she returned to her deer skin.

No, Sage was thankful for the female, for the support that was offered and to hear that she wasn't the only one missing someone or being missed.

So with a quick shift of her clothes, Sage managed to call upon her wolf and find comfort resting above the pups. Who were all too eager to have the comfort of their Alpha who was missing for the day.

And Sage couldn't wait to hear all they have learned. But exhaustion won out, and her excitement would have to wait until tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning, Sage hadn't been all too aware of what happened the night prior. There was still a sickly haze around her that needed rest, and she hardly found the strength or willpower to start the day. Instead, she snuggled further into the small embraces, and for a moment—Just a beautiful and surreal moment, Sage pretended it was Ronan and Rue.

However, as she peeked open her eyes. She caught the smile of Poppy, who couldn't look brighter if the sun was shining on her directly. Sage couldn't help but return it with an amused snort, even when it strained her face to make such an expression.

The squeal of excitement had boosted the Alpha awake, and pairing it with the fresh scent of whatever meat was smoking over the fire was making it difficult to ignore. Or had been, until Sage's stomach had turned sour, thinking about how she wanted so desperately to feed her own children.

Her breasts had long since stopped lactating for them, and it hurt much more than she could've ever realized, she knew the timeline, and she wanted to continue up until a year old and perhaps even longer.

She missed feeding them as she rested in Remus' arms, who would watch and talk to either her or the pup, completely hypnotized by the mere action or thought.

Poppy had caught on to the tears quite easily, and so she pushed up from her blanket, stopping her retelling of yesterday and offering a hand up to run through Sage's fur.

Something that had been accepted with ease.

While it wasn't the morning she was dreaming of, waking up to a firm chest with her Crescent Moon tattoo etched at eye level, instead her bed was filled with pups.

It wasn't the first time they had done this. In the garage, within the first few hours of losing the mate bond—She could've sworn that Willow left, she was given a pup to hold onto, since they weren't usually the ones allowed to leave the room.

"Alpha, are you feeling okay?... I can ask a witch to make you some tea?" The young one offered, and Sage hummed in return. Remus would've surely offered her tea had he been here. But seeing the pup scramble out of bed with Clementine in tow had allowed her to feel comfortable shifting back and grabbing hold of her second layer of clothes.

Had Darius been active in her mind, then he would've told her to get up on her fluffy wolfie bum and be productive. And that is what she did since leaving her bed, and she hadn't stopped moving.

Within the next few hours, it took the combined efforts of her Beta, Delta, and Gamma to get her to eat the provided lunch that the witches experimented with.

The natural talent of cooking was a godsend. Truly, the fish they managed to grill was flavorful and sweet. The mushrooms were cooked to perfection, and part of Sage thought that she couldn't manage anything close to it on her own in the beautiful kitchen back in Crescent Moon.

Something about it being freshly caught and burned over the ready-made fire made it all the more savory. Sage never hesitated in praising the clan when they did something right, and goddess, the small circles of soap that the witches and pups managed with found lavender and other herbs.

Sage was rightly in heaven. Even now, as she bathed underneath the waterfall to soothe her worries, yet the small movement in the water caused her to tilt her head to the side.

And there stood two females, showcasing just what the goddess had blessed them with. But Sage held her gaze downright, silently questioning what Calla and Leah were doing.

"Can we join you, Mistress?" Leah offered, and Sage certainly wouldn't hog the natural shower, and thus she moved against the slight push of the current to make room.

Yet it was Calla who had instantly taken the acceptance in strides, walking straight into the shower's head and gasping at the cooling water dowsing her beautiful locks. However, Sage knew the difficulty in properly washing hair with braids, so she placed down her chunk of soap to help the females remove the delicate binds.

It didn't take all that long to help her, and the likeness of doing this reminded Sage of helping Rue or Arabella.

With her hair dampened and free from the braids, Sage took the slab of soap and ran it gently through. Having done this plenty of times before for wolves and witches alike. Reaching forward to replace it on the lone rock beside them, she did her best to wash and scrub the day's worth of workouts.

"Are you feeling better, Mistress?... From the cold?" Calla asked, prepared for silence or a word one-word answer. But received much more than that.
"Yes, thank you...Pups ask me all day if I want tea. Elena tells them I need to sit down." She said with a slight laugh, and the two witches joined in. Leaning forward her as Sage dug deep into one of the many areas that Mae cursed in being a weak spot of hers.

However, Sage was done, and knew better than to linger when the scent of either female had started to become intoxicatingly erotic.

Bidding the two a quick goodnight, both Calla and Leah had watched their Mistress retreat to the shore. Not thinking that their arrival would cause her to leave, but it worked in Sage's favor as she had spent far too much time in the water to begin with.

Even if it felt glorious to her aching bones and ever-so-broken heart.

With the moon rising so high above, it offered plenty of light to cast upon her hidden nook just a little ways away. For whatever reason, there were always plenty of stones to perfect her project, one she wanted to continue given that she was starting to feel back to normal once again.

However, given that it wasn't so much of a trek to her spot, the shriek that echoed had caused her to gasp and turn around in quickened haste.

Her eyes scanned through the water, hoping that both Calla and Leah were alright—But as Sage's gaze settled on them, she realized that she had made an honest mistake.

And a sigh of embarrassment had fallen in suit.
Did she sound like that when Remus—

Heat flared into her cheeks as she began to pat them, hoping that it would diminish the thought. But it didn't.
It only escalated when the fruitful noises of the females continued to grace Sage's ears.

And it was as if the last few weeks hadn't been cruel enough, Sage heard a familiar voice grace her—

"Hun, you smell so good..."

"Remus?" Sage nearly choked as she turned all around, hoping to see him within the clearing. But there wasn't a hint of his presence, nor a whiff of his scent. Yet that didn't mean she couldn't push his voice further, to enjoy his company, right?

"Remus...I miss you."

"I know, Munchin. I miss you too."

A tear had instantly slipped from her eyes without her knowledge, but it worked out, as she simply closed her eyes and lowered herself to the ground. Feeling the cool sensation of the sand but also trying her best to imagine how her bed would feel.

Her comforter or even the pillow set behind her.

"Come home to me, Sage."

"Trying..." She croaked, her fists curling and uncurling at the prospect of trying to see him in front of her, and soon enough, her mind had graced her with a memory of their room.

Just as how she remembered it from the morning before moving to Mystic Grimm in an attempt to escape. A failure of a plan if she ever heard one, but alas, here she was.

With a sniffle, she wiped her face once more, only to see a glimpse of Remus—A half smile playing his face as he started to tug on a shirt.

"No—"
"Hm? Oh, you want me to keep it off, huh?" He responded ever so quickly that Sage kept her gaze strictly to him, trying to decipher if she had truly captured him correctly. Down to the mere birthmark on his hip, she smiled and allowed another tear to slip underneath her closed eyelids.

"Sage, why are you crying?"

"I miss you...I miss you so much and I'm tired. I want the pups—I want to go home..."

"You're so far away...But you'll come home soon. You have to keep trying. If not for me, for the pups." She nodded again, and Remus had moved forward, and while his touch hadn't felt real, she could still imagine its warmth.

His intention. His support.

"How about I take your mind off a few things, hm?" With another nod, she intended to see if his touch would ever gather the heat she knew it had. But every touch, every stroke, had turned up empty.

Even when his lips had supposedly come forward to bush against hers, it was as if she was touching air. It took a moment for Sage to open her eyes and shake things off, to admit that this was not how she could deal with the prospect of missing her family.

Dreams were one, but to respond was another. It was a deadly trap, one that she was much stronger to manage.
And instead, she dug further into the sand and allowed the cool night's air to dry her.

It wasn't until the moon had drastically moved its position that Sage had taken hold of her motives and returned to camp.
To repeat the cycle of dreaming of her family, but now allowing herself anything more than that.

______

Date: 03/13/24

Time: 7:28 PM 

Words: 3640

Author's Note:

I really wished I involved a few scenes in the first draft where Remus makes a few 'appearances', it makes sense that Sage will want to hear/see her mate at her lowest.

The imaginary support is there, she just needs to recover then take action!

I hope you all have a fantastic week and I'll see you soon!