Abuja, Nigeria.

Gabadaya Al'amura sun cabe mata tun daga lokacin da taga sanarwa rasuwan Amal, tayi kuka ta yanda har take ganin ba ta da ragowan hawayen da ya rage bai fito ba. Sai dai har yanzu ta jasa gasgata zancen duk ko da yanda yake ta yawo a kafaffan yada labarai. Sai yanzun ta ke kara tabbatar ma kanta da gasken rayuwan ta bai da wani amfani kuma, a duk wani dakika daya da zai wuce tana raye sai ta tuna cewa wai yau Amal bata duniya kuma daga report in da ake ta bayar wa yasa ta gaza gasganta cewa bata da sa hannu a mutuwan Amal in. Abin bakin ciki abin takaici kuma Allah wadai, shine duk abinda ta tara ta aikata sannan kuma gashi ita har yanzun ba ta da wani riba. Dole ma ai taga bala'i da masifa, wannan ma ba a fara ba, sannan kuma ba ta jin ta cancanci neman yanci da Dr Fahad da kuwa Brr mustapha ke fafutakan yi a kanta. Shakka bbu ta cancanci hukunci mai tsanani da horo. Kai ba ma ta jin za ta iya yafe ma kanta in har ba a dauki mataki babba a kanta ba. Ta shiga rayuwan su, farat daya ta rusa musu duku wani farin ciki da suke ciki gashi ita ba ta da wani riba. Ina ma yau zata hada idanu da Faree da kuma Umaymah, to da ba abinda zai hana ta dau wuka ta lafga musu, ya tabbata cewa ta aikata kisan da ake zargin ta dashi, suma sa dandanin mutuwan da suka sa baiwar Allah tayi ba taji ba ba kuma ta gani ba. Shin ma wai ita wani irin rayuwa ne take living? Kulkum daga wannan sai wancan, tun tana karaman ta take ganin ibtila'i kala kala irin na rayuwa. Tun lokacin da mahaifiyar ta ta tafi ta yarda ita a wurin kishiya. "Astagfrillah Allah na tuba, Allah na tuba. In jarabawa ce kuma Allah ka bani ikon cinye shi" a fili ta fada cikin wata irin raunanniyan murya da kana ni kasan ba karamin tashin hankali ta ke ciki ba.

Yanda tayi maganan ne yasa har zeenah taji ta. Tunda tazo ba wani zama su ke suyi hira ba, duk dai tana kokarin deba mata kewa. Zeenah akwai surutu sai dai kuma ba ta cikin sakewan da har za ta iya zama tayi hira kafiya kalau. "Lfy kawa?" Ba ta tanka ta ba sai kife kai da tayi a jikin kujera, ita ba kuka take ba amma kuma abinda take fuskanta a yanzu yafi karfin tunanin duk wani mai tunani. "Kawa mana" zeenah ta kara fada tana dafa kafadan Suhaiman da still dai ba ta dago ba.

"Kina so mu koma asibiti ko?" Ita kam zata so ma zaman asibitin, ba kuma ta cikin hayyacin ta akan irin wannan azaban da take fuskan ta. Zuciyan ta zugi yake mata, ga kuma wani irin bugawa da yake yi kaman zai fito fili. Ko ba a gwada ta bama ta san tana fama da ciwuka dayawa wadanda take ganin ta cancanci samu. Sai dai ba ta jin za ta iya kuma yadda amma mata wani treatment bayan wadanda aka sha yi a baya, gwara ta sha jinyan ta, ta wahala kaman yanda ta wahalar da yae mutane, in yaso ita ma in abu yazo da ajali sai ta tafi kawai. Sai yanzu ta ke jin ina ma ba ta amincewa Barr mustaoha ya sa anyi bailing ta ba. Tabbas da zaman gidan kurkukun ya fi mata nan da ya kasance fayau ba wani abu farin ciki ko marmari a cikin shi. Duniyan ma gabadaya ji take kaman yana juyi ne, gabadaya ta rasa ina ma zata fuskanta. Ganin har jikin ta ya fara rawa yasa Zeenah ta dan kamo ta. "Relax mana haba, wanda ya mutu yana dawowa ne? Ina ce kece mai min wa'azi why are you acting like this" da kyar ta iya juyawa ta fuskanci zeenah, cikin rawan murya tace "na gaji da duniyan ne, na gaji da rayuwan komai bai dai mahimmanci ko amfani a gare ni. Wlh na gaji, ban jin zuciya ta tana da karfin kara daukan wani abu kuma. I was so weak at first amma irin abubuwan da na fuskanta ya sa zuciyata zama mai nauyi, amma yanzu am crushed"

Kwalla ne ke faman ziyaya a idanun zeenah. On normal circumstancea ya kamata ace suhaima tayi mamakin hakan sai dai ko dar illa ma ganin da take hawayen dadin kawar ta take yi, duk da ma ta san a sanadiyyan tausayin tane.

"Kiyi hakuri kawa don Allah, ki kara juriya komai zai karshe" Hakuri, juriya, karshe. Kalmaomin nan guda uku gabadaya ta tsani jin su a yanzu, ta dade tana jin su sosai sai dai har yanzun abinda ake fada mata bai zo ba, wai to shin sai yaushe ne hakan zai faru?

"Zan baki baki ba wai don ina yi sai don nasan da naci a cikin wannan matsalan shawaran da zaki bani kenan. Kaman dai yabda Dr in ya fada miki, addu'a kawai zaki dinga mata sannan ki cigaba da rokon Allah gafara don tabbas kin kwace mishi. Amal kuma sanadiyyan ajalin ta kenan, ba wanda ya isa ya canja hakan" runtse ido Suhaima tayi tana sauraron ta, haka kawai take jin zata so ace yau shawaran da Zeenah ke bata ita zeenahn za ta iya amfani dashi, hakika da ta godewa Allah. Ko bakomia tana ganin wani kaso na daga cikin laifin ta zai ragu tunda ta iya juya wata zuwa hanyar alkhairi.

"Kinsan duk wadannan abubuwan kawa, duk abinda nake fadi maki yana kwakwalwar ki, to amma meyesa baki yi?"

Dif Zeenah tayi na dan wani lokaci, dan ta girgiza da tmbyn "Nayi kokarin canjawa na yan watanni kawa bayan mun rabu dake. Sai dai matsalan farko banda inda zan zauna, na koma gidan Inna na da na fada miki sanadiyyan azaban da nasha yasa ni barin gida tare da saurayi sai dai koraj kare suka min, ba su zaunda karuwa ba. Ba ma nan duk inda naje zancen kenan, da ama ce ni din banyi karuwanci bane. Amma yanzu ina da bakin tabin da banjin zai taba iya gogewa Kawa. Banda wani source of income, sannan ko na samun ma ban jin akwai dan arzikin da zai siya kaya na. Society, na daga kasa casa'in acikin dari da ke hana mutane dayawa tuba, ba ama ka uzuri balle a fahimce ka. Ba ma ni kadai ba kawa, dayawa daga cikin yn uwana da ke zaman kansu abinda ke hana su komawa hanyan gaskiya kenan. Karuwanci ba ta dadi, kana zaune da mutane bas ganin mutuncin ka balle kuma wani abin tausayi ya biyi baya" da kuka shabe shabeta karasa zancen, tabbas gsky ta fada sai daisuhaiman ba ta jin wannan ya isa hujjan dazai sa mutum yaki komawa hanyan gsky bayan yasan da ita.

"Wannan ba dalili bane kawa, mutane za su hana ki bautawa Ubangijin ki su tura ki hanyan sabo? Kar kiyi haka, da ma komai na rayuwa cike yake da kalubalai iri iri. Kar ki dube jama'a, Aa ki dubi Ubangijin ki ki nemi yafiyan shi, ki tuba zuwa gare shi sannan ki natsu ki koma gare shi ni kuma na miki alkawarin sai kinga banbanci fiye da na rayuwa da kike ciki a yanzu. Kar mu dawwama cikin laifin da muka dade muna aikata shi kawa, wannaan abinda na ke fuskan ta kadai ya ishe ki aya."

Sosai maganganun ya shige ta, sai dai duk da haka tana jin wani irin wasi wasi dake yawa a kwakwalwar ta. "In na daina kina ganin akwai wanda zai iya aure na?"

"Wannan ma Allah zaki bar mawa, addu'a fa ita ce komai. Infact ban baki shawaran ki hango duk wani jin dadin da ke cikin duniya ba, Aa ki tmby kanki in kika mutu a wannan halin me zaki shaidawa Ubangijin ki? Wani irin azaba zaki fara fuskanta tunda daga cikin kabari? Kinsan waji irin fushi Alla yake yi dake? Shi fa abun haram bai da wani daraja ko kuma dadi sai dai shaidan ya sa miki shagalan da har zaki iya jin dadin abun. Misali ki duba yanda kike daukan kanki ki bai wa namiji saboda kudi, shin kin taba jin dadin kwanciya da duk wanda kika taba kwanciyan dashi?" Girgiza kai zeenh tayi, Suhaiman ta cigaba da cewa "to ki duba, kin san wani irin dadi mtan aure ke samu daga wurin mazajen su duk sanda su kayi saduwar aure? Saboda me yasa? Sun san darajan su, sun sa kiman su kuma suna mutunta su. Ba kaman ku ba da namiji kawai zai kwanta ya biya bujatan shi ya kara gaba. Baki bukatan wani tunani, don Allah ki fuskanci gsky, za kimin alkawarin hakan?" Duk jikin ta yayi sanyi, da kyar ma sautin muryan ta ya fito tana fadin

"Na miki kawa, in sha Allahu zan canja. Allah ya shirye mu baki daya. Dan Allah kema ki daina kukan nan, tunda kinsan bai da wani amfani a gareki. Ba sai na miki wa'azi ba domin nasan duk abinda zan fada kin san shi amma Dan Allah ki sawa zuciyan ki salama komai mai karewa ne, ba za a dauwwama a cikin shi."

"Allah ya bani iko, zanyi yanda kika ce sai dai hakika ina tausayin rayuwata, ina tausayin kaina Kawa. Banda kowa a hakin yanzu bbu wanda ya tsaya min, ban san yanda zan kare rayuwa a haka ba."

"Allah zai kawo mafita" amsan da zeenah tace kenan, hakan kuma yayi dai dai da shigowan Dr Fahad, gabadayan su ba su san ma ya shigo garin ma. Kalli daya ya ma suhaima yaga duk ta fada, bai san sanda ya hade rai ya fita daga falon ba tare da ya amsa gaisuwa da suke mishi ba. Bai dade ba sai gashi ya shigo da abun gwajin jini. Sai da suka hada ido da Suhaiman, tayi saurin dukar da kanta sanin ba ta da gsky kawai ta mika mishi hannun. Ilai kuwa diastolic da sistolic in duka sun hau. Bai ce komai ba ya kunci abun "Da gaske dai kike kin gaji da rayuwan ko?" Kasa ce mishi komai tayi, ya juya wurin zeenah "tana cin abinci" Da Aa zeenah ta amsa, yanzun ma bai ce mata komai ba ya samu wuri daban ya zauna yana kallon ta.

"Haka za muyi dake?" Tmbyn da ya fito bakin shi kenan. A hankali ta girgiza kanta, sai kuma tayi gum ba ta kara wani magana ba.

"Okay nasan you arw currently facing a lot amma ba shi bane hujjan da zaki cigaba da yin abinda kike yin. Duka shekarun ki nawa Suhaima? Amma kinga yanda kike sa jinin ki yana hawa kuwa? Ba fa wanda ke cire rai da rahman Ubangiji. Ke kike ganin rayuwanki ba ta da wani amfani amma Ubangijin ki da ya bar ki a rayen ai sai ki gode mishi da rahman rayuwan da ya miki ko? Kar ki kasance mai butulci. Jiya da wayewan garin yau kinsan mutane nawa Allah ya amshi rayuwan su? Wadanda kika sani da wanda ma baki sanin ba. Duk cikin su zasu zo sune ke da aron rayuwan da Ubangiji ya mallamaka miki a yau har kike ikirarin kin gaji dashi" tana sauraron shi har ya gama magana ta ma rasa da wani bakin za ta iya fara mishi magana. Hakika tana jin yanda Dr da Barr ke tsaye akanta kullum burin ceton ta kawai su ke. Amma ita fa dame ta saka musu? Shariya da kin bin zancen maganan su? Nan take ta fara jin ba dadi, ita kunyan Dr in ma ta fara ji, don a halin ta ba tayi tsammani akwai wanda zai tsaya akan ta kai da wuya yana kokarin taimka mata ko ta halin kaka ne. Allah Ubangiji ya saka musu, ta fada a zuciyan ta. Dan ko fara'an da tayi, sai ya sanyaye ma likitan rai.

Daga daya barin kuma Barr mustapha ne rike da manuscript in suhaima, yana kokarin fahimtan irin badakalan da ta ci karo dashi a rayuwa. Sai dai duk lokacin da yayi shiru yana tunanin, sai zuciya shi ta dinga sanar dashi amsan tmbyn shi yana cikin takardan da ke gaban shi. Da ke shi ma'abocin karatun litattafai ne sam karatun manuscript bai bashi wahala ba.

Rayuwata

Babi na Sha daya.

Ajiddah ba taji dadin komawa na Nana Aysha sai dai ba yanda ta iya. Duk yanda kuwa ta so a gidan su a maida ta makaranta ita ma, ba wanda ya saurare ta. Hakanan ta hada kyan ta, ta koma GGC ni kuma na fara zuwa Nana Aysha a JSS3. Ba laifi am progressing well there, sai dai har yanzu abinda ya faru tsakanina da su Adda Falmata a sabon fegi na damu na. Amir kam tunda aka fasa min waya kuma ba Al-lawan balle muyi magana, shiru ne kawai a tsakanin mu. Anty Nainerh kam mun hadu sosai, kuma tas na kwashe abinda ya faru na gaya mata. Gudun kar labari yazo ya dawo mata din dai yan garinmu ba laifi akwai aikin wannan. Jin haka itan ma sai ta janye jikin ta daga gare ni sai ya zamo banda wani matsala sai dai na rashin jin Amir. Ina son in samu wayan in kira shi tunda ina da numban shi a kaina.

Ina jin dadin zaman gidan Goggo, saboda banda wani matsala ko kadan sai riritanin da ake yi. Komai tsohuwan nan ta samu in dai ban nan to sai fa ta ajiye min, komin dadewan da zanyi kafin in dawo. Nayi kawaye dayawa a Nana Aysha, sai dai ba wanda muke kut da kut da ita sosai. Ana dai mutunci da kuma harkoki tare. Adama kuwa da ke itan a Royal take, ba mu cika wani haduwa ba sai dai in ita tazo Ajeyarin kawai, tayi ta min mitan ban zuwa gidan su. Ni ko ba ta san sabon fegin ma ji nake na tsane shi baki daya ba.

Kaman yanda na hada target, gun Anty Amaraya na je na amso wayan ta da niyyan zan kira kawata. Sai dai ina fita nayi dialling numban Amir. Ya ko dauka, ko da na mishi magana naji ya amsa min normal ba kaman yanda mu ka saba magana dashi zai da naji wani iri amma kuma sai nayi tunanin bai gabe dani yake magana bane. "Amir Suhaima ce fa"

"Suhaima ai na gane ki, yakk? Ya schl kuma?" Amsa shi kawai nayi da lfy, amma daga yanda ya ke min magana na fara hango matsala.amma dake zuciyata ta dade da yin nisa a bangaren shi sai na fukse na cigaba da kokarin kakalo hira dashi. Daga Eh sai Aa yake amsa ni da. Bawani nayi missing, kwana dayawa kin manta dani, ba kalaman soyayyan da ya saba ma kunne na da sauraron duk lokacin da ya jiyo sautin muryan shi. Tabbas Amir ya canja, sai dai kaman yanda na fada mishi ne, anything zai iya faruwa a cikin shekara daya. Ya dinga musa ni, sai gashi a shekara ba a kai ko ina ba ama an fara samun canji. Hmmm, zuciya mugun abu ne, wlh hakannan na cigaba da zuba mishi surutu yana amsa min da daddaya, ina fa jin ba dadin amma zuciya tata zabi saurarinnuryan nashi a ba dadin fiye darashin sauraron. A haka har katin Anty Amarya ya kare, maimakon ya kira ni kaman yanda ya saba. Tun ina jira kuwa har na gaji na maida mata wayan ta. Bayan nan ma na sha zuwa in duba wayan ko zan ga missed call inshi amma shiru kake ji.

Wani karin sakarcin sai na kara daukan wayan Goggo na kira shi. Ya kara min sak abinda ya min wancan karon, ni kuwa har da ce mishi "Wayan Goggo ne wannan za mu iya magana ta nan" ko toh bai ce min ba, na cigaba da mishi surutu. Ko dan ance kananan yara ba su iya soyayya bane? In ba haka ba taya mutum yana nuna maka he is no longer interested kana cigaba da kara kiran shi? Haka episodes in mu ya cigaba da kasance wa da Amir, sai dai a hankali ana samun kari. Don ya fara cewa, ya gaji bacci yake ji, Aa kanshi na ciwo abubuwa dai gasu nan barkatai mara tushe. Kuma duk wannan bai taba daga waya ya kira ni ba sai dai ni in kira shi. A ganina ai da yana yawan nema na.

Kai daga karshe fa sai da bawan Allahn nan ya fito ya min open kafin na iya kyale shi. "Suhaima are you enyoing this thing a haka?" Ban wani gane inda ya nufa ba, sai dai naji gaba na yayi waji irin faduwa nace "meke nan?"

"This relationship mana, ba kijin kaman this is no longer working?" Duk a zato na , ya fadi hakan ne saboda mu gyara matsalan da ke tsakani "Ina ji mana Amir, i've been thinking so wlh. Amma kai me ka fahimta?" Da saurin shi yace "To Alhmdlh tunda kin gane hakan, let not be struggling wurin gayara abinda ya ruga ya rushe. Maybe is not for the best tun daman. I mean we can still be friend" kam bala'i, a take a lokacin naji wani irin zafin a jiki na, zuciyata da kuma kwakwalwa ta. Kai jikina har karkarwa ya fara. Like where have i ever gone wrong? Is it that i care too much? tabbas ba laifin shi bane, kulawan da na nuna mishi ne ya baki shi guarantee in yin hakan.

"Baki ce komai ba?" Ya kara fadi, bai san jin saukan muryan shi nake kaman saukan garwashi a zuciya ta. Ganin dai da gasken jira nake ya ce wani abu "Let not do the friendship ma kawai, i think it will be better"

"Haka kika ce?" Banza nayi dashi, ga wani irin kuka kuka da nake jin yana zuwa min ina tare dashi, ga kaina da ke wani irin juyawa. "Kalla Suhaima, let not do this. We can still be friwnd kingane, ban son kiga kaman na yaudare ki ne ko wani abu makamancin hakan. Please just understand me mana, kinji" Hmm, ba sakarcin da nayi a wannan lokacin kuwa kaman yanda na dinga jin maganan da muke dashi a lokacin ma, am enjoying hearing his voice. Sai dai kuma ban kara wani magana ba sai ma na kashe wayan. Kukan ma kasa shi nayi, i can't ask him ya fada min meya faruwa kuma tunda shi din bai min bayani ba. Ya kira ni ya kai kusan sau hudu bayan na kashe amma ban dauka ba. Ranar da zazzabi na kwana na tashi, duk nayi wani iri. Duniya ka guji rashin abinda ka gana sawa a rai. Wannan kuwa shi ya zamto karshen alaka ta da Amir.