A/N: so, there's a content warning at the bottom, in bold. Slide right past it if you don't want to be spoilered, read it if you have any concerns

The memory of waking up beside Henry like that began to fade, with time. Over the next few days, Gabriel settled into a routine that wasn't dissimilar to the one he'd had before everything had happened.

Sawyer encouraged him to practice almost as much as Henry had. Though the way he did it was softer that Henry's disappointed glare. He'd allowed him time to grieve for a few days without any pressure or expectation, which Gabriel appreciated immeasurably. And when he did remind him to keep working, that he needed to distract himself from negative thoughts, he did it with a gentle hand on Gabriel's shoulder, giving him the casual contact that he was only now realizing had been absent for so long.

Another thing Sawyer did was encourage Gabriel in all of his instruments, not just the cello. Of course, it was apparent that Sawyer didn't have the same level of knowledge Henry had, not about this, but Gabriel was simply grateful to have that sneering expectation gone, and to be able to do it because he loved it, not because of what it could do for them.

Missing that single point of conflict there had been between him and Henry somehow made him feel lighter than he'd even thought was possible just a few short days earlier. Now, each day after practicing, he'd clean the apartment. Sawyer didn't ask him to, but he did thank him when he arrived home. And he actually seemed to notice what Gabriel had done, in a way Henry never had. Henry only ever said something if Gabriel hadn't done one of his chores. It was strange, to feel seen that way. Sawyer was good at seeing him in a way he'd never had.

"Would you like pancakes for breakfast?" he asked one morning, feeling a new level of brightness that he'd decided not to try to pretend wasn't there, and he was rewarded with a warm smile from Sawyer.

"Yes please, darling. I like blueberries."

"Oh, I don't think there are any. I put them in that smoothie for you yesterday."

"Well, that's okay. You can pick some up when you get groceries. I'll just have plain."

Gabriel eagerly set to work mixing the batter. Sawyer watched him, and it made him flush unexpectedly. Sawyer moved closer, and Gabriel felt himself tense, though he tried not to show it. He knew Sawyer wanted him. He hadn't hidden it, though he had kept a certain distance, only giving Gabriel occasional peeks at the chance for physical closeness. Gabriel was sure it wasn't intentional, but those teasing touches were starting to drive him to distraction, like now, when Sawyer coming close made him clench, and his head swim; unsure whether he wanted to lean into or away from the promise.

The decision he needed to make wasn't going to go away, though. Was, in fact, becoming more urgent.

He could back away – leave. Use the money Henry had left him and head out on his own. But he'd never been on his own, and just the thought made his jaw tighten; in fear, in sadness. Or he could give in. And would it be really giving in? He was attracted to Sawyer. And Sawyer had suggested things, before, that made something dark and delicious rise in his belly. He was a future filled with promise and pleasure.

Sawyer came closer, not touching, but almost.

"Oh dear, darling. Have you never made pancakes? What lumpy batter."

"I'm sorry. I was distracted."

"Oh? You must be very easily distracted. Poor, simple thing, aren't you?"

"No, I just..." But he didn't know what he could say to excuse it, and then Sawyer reached a hand around him and closed it over Gabriel's on the whisk, and he had even less to say as he felt a tremor run through him.

"Let me help you. You need me, don't you?"

"Uh, thank you, yes."

"Good boy."

Sawyer helped him make the batter, and took over the pancakes, saying he didn't want Gabriel to burn them, or himself. He served up fluffy, thick pancakes that were better than anything Gabriel could have made.

"Thank you. These are delicious."

"I know, darling. Don't worry, it's okay. I'll teach you how to do it properly. We'll have you trained in no time."

When Sawyer had gone to work, Gabriel was thankful to have the apartment to himself while he cleaned. His mind was feeling overrun. Breakfast had made him feel a lot of things – and some of them were contradictory; to each other, and to how he had felt in the past.

None of it had been new, but it was getting harder to ignore the way Sawyer's closeness made him feel. The criticisms had made his stomach clench, but it wasn't in a completely awful way. And that was confusing. He'd always hated it when Henry pointed out the things he'd done wrong. Maybe it was something in the tone of voice. Sawyer's was so smooth, and so knowing, it didn't feel harsh like it had when Henry had done it.

And when Sawyer had called him good there'd been a whole different sensation of tightness in his body. One he wanted to chase desperately, even if it was far too soon.

He was surprised when his phone rang. Barely anyone had the number, and no one but Sawyer ever called him, and the number that came on the screen was unknown. To his surprise, he heard the clipped tones of the Conservatory Director.

"Gabriel? It's Mr. Brubaker. How are you feeling?"

He wasn't quite sure how to answer. Mr. Brubaker had to have guessed about him and Henry – he had to have – but he suddenly felt the pressure of living at Sawyer's, so soon after everything, so he didn't want to confirm it.

"I'm okay. How can I help?"

"Well, it's a little awkward. The details the London Philharmonic had...well, it transpires they were Henry's. And they contacted me when they couldn't get through."

Gabriel pushed out a breath, a sense of relief passing through him chased with surprise. He hadn't even realized how much it had been bothering him, that he hadn't heard anything yet. Henry's phone and laptop were probably still in the old apartment. Gabriel hadn't brought any of his things here – it didn't seem appropriate somehow. But he didn't want to explain.

"Oh, well thank you for calling."

"It's fine, Gabriel. I'm going to forward you the email, but I wanted to call you to let you know. They want to offer you the position. They want you to go to London."

* * * * *

Sawyer arrived at the penthouse earlier than usual. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was because of the way he'd pushed Gabriel earlier. He hadn't seemed afraid, but Sawyer had the thought that he might run if he thought about it too much.

Even if he knew he'd been skirting a potentially dangerous line, Sawyer couldn't help but remember how much he'd enjoyed playing with Gabriel that morning. The beautiful flush that had colored his cheeks when Sawyer had mocked his cooking skills. And the little mewl he let out – and Sawyer didn't think he'd even been aware he was doing it – when he'd called him good. Sawyer preened at how easily Gabriel was melding to what he wanted. He was going to be so much fun.

But when he walked through the door, with expectations of Gabriel working hard at something to prove how good he was – Sawyer suspected that mode came naturally to the boy – those expectations were thwarted. Gabriel was curled up on the couch, wrapped in Sawyer's cashmere throw, his eyes swollen and red from what looked like hours of tears.

Sawyer held back anger, clenching his jaw. He had to tread softly. But it was frustrating him that Gabriel was taking so long to get over Henry. It had been weeks. And the man had been an utter waste of oxygen. But with Gabriel still so tied to him, Sawyer couldn't make a move. Not yet.

"Darling? What's the matter?" He tried to keep his voice light, and to keep the sneer out of it, despite all temptations to the contrary. Gabriel looked up at him with watery eyes, pathetically trying to wipe the tears away.

"I'm sorry. It's stupid."

Sawyer didn't deny it. What was the point?

He just repeated his question: "What's the matter?"

"It's just...Mr. Brubaker rang."

"Oh," Sawyer realized. It must have been about the audition. He mustn't have got it.

Gabriel sucked in a wobbly breath, finally calming down.

"They offered me the job. It's in London."

The anger came back, but it was more important than ever that Sawyer didn't reveal his true thoughts.

"Will you take it?"

Gabriel didn't answer, and Sawyer wanted to shake it out of him. It was taking everything he had to keep projecting concern instead what he truly felt.

"Gabriel. What did you tell Brubaker?"

"I- I told him I'd have to think. I don't know what to tell him."

It was like an epiphany, what those words did to Sawyer, as realization washed over him. The boy had never had to make a decision. He'd been a child, and then he'd had Henry making every decision for him. Sawyer wanted to sing, if it had been his style. Instead it helped him find some fortitude about dealing with this frustrating experience.

"I think you know the truth, don't you, darling? You don't want to leave. You don't want to be on your own in a whole new country, where you have no one."

Gabriel's expression answered everything – his entire body drew back into a frightened wince, and Sawyer pressed his advantage.

"There's nothing there for you. You can play all the music you want here, you know that. I can help you find something, closer to everything you know. Everything that makes you comfortable."

Gabriel nodded mutely, his eyes still terrified.

"Hey, darling, give me your phone. I'll tell Brubaker. Then we can get you settled here. I'll make sure you don't have to worry about bad things again. You don't have to worry about anyone taking you away from where you're comfortable."

Gabriel handed over his phone uncertainly, his eyes wide. But there was a relief that settled over him, as he leaned back into the couch. 

Would love to hear your comments, and graciously receive your votes if you like it

A/N: this is the content warning

Sawyer is a big gaslighty douche. This is the beginning (well, not the beginning, cos you probably noticed him working his douchy magic earlier). Gabe isn't in a great place in his capabilities or understanding of just what the heck is going on, and that impacts everything that's going on

Take care of yourselves, please