When François and Gray had heard the full story about Kaiya's abandonment, they had swept in in a storm of righteous fury. François had insisted immediately that Kaiya stay, and had called the lawyer his family used – not caring it was after ten at night by then – instructing her to look into Kaiya's visa options. The pair of them had also growled a lot about what they'd do to John when they saw him next.

It had been three days and François had assured Kaiya there'd be something they could do, he was sure, but the lawyer hadn't come through yet.

Kaiya was settling into the house though, even if he was quieter than Gabe had been even on his first day. He mainly followed Gabe around, but that was fine. He was a sweet shadow to have.

"Are you excited?" he asked Gabe while they ate the breakfast Alanna had made them. François was working in his office in the club and Ellis had gone out with Dae. Gabe still wasn't too eager to go out for no reason, and besides, today was going to be his first session with Gray and Owen.

"More nervous right now."

"Fair. Did you do a contract or anything?"

"Not yet, but I guess that's what we'll talk about today. I doubt we'll jump right into it. Will we?"

"I'm the last person to ask. I've only ever been with John this way, and when I told Ellis the way he did stuff he was pretty annoyed, so I guess I don't really know how to do it properly."

"It's a crime, the way you've been treated," Laurent said, from the doorway.

Gabe jumped. "Are you a fucking ghost? What is with you sneaking up on people?"

He went pink immediately and Kaiya gasped – whether at his shout or his language, he didn't know. Laurent just laughed though – that sleazy chuckle that seemed to come out every time he spoke to Gabe. And Gabe, forgive him, didn't hate the sound or the way it made his stomach clench.

Laurent slid onto the stool by Gabe's side.

"And how are you both this morning? Well rested I hope?"

"Fine," Gabe said for both of them while Kaiya found something very interesting in his apple juice.

Loki came in then, going straight to the coffee after a gruff 'morning', and pouring himself a huge mug. Gabe noticed that Kaiya had found something other than his juice to stare at, and grinned.

Gabe hadn't spoken to Loki very much but, unlike Laurent, he was a calming presence. It was almost nice to know he didn't like mornings as it made him less unattainable. And the way Kaiya was sneaking looks, that could be a good thing.

"How are you both?" Loki asked when he sat down, ignoring Laurent, who snorted.

Gabe glared at him, which just made him do it again.

"We're good, thanks Loki. Have you got plans for the day?"

"Actually," he paused, like he had to think about his words. Gabe understood when he continued. "I was hoping to do some sightseeing."

Laurent opened his mouth, only to yelp, and it was Gabe's turn to snort.

"Ah well, I'd love to show you around, but I've got an appointment this morning. Hey, Kaiya? You could show Loki around the city?"

Kaiya stuttered for a moment, and went deep pink, but he managed to agree eventually, and Gabe saw how pleased Loki looked when Kaiya went to change, before he disappeared a moment later.

"So," Gabe mused, "Loki likes Kaiya."

"Well, it's good to know you aren't completely blind to the signs of attraction."

"Oh no, I don't think I'm blind to it at all, now that I've had a reset."

"What do you mean? Never mind. I won't push until you're ready. It's good to know you're aware how attractive you are."

"What? That's not what I meant." But maybe it was. He hadn't thought about it in those terms, but he had known, for all Laurent's supercilious sarcasm, that the man was attracted to him, and he hadn't questioned it. That was interesting, because he felt like he'd been far less aware that he was good looking before, when he'd only had Henry and Sawyer's responses to work with.

He must have been thinking too long, because Laurent was watching him with amusement.

"François says you're subbing for Gray."

"He did? Like that?"

"Well, maybe not those words, but close enough. You could have had me, you know, if you'd asked."

Gabe shrugged. "It's not quite as simple as that. I just have some things to resolve before I can go around worrying about attraction."

He left Laurent staring after him with a bemused look.

* * * * *

Loki was ashamed of himself.

He hadn't expected to find someone so utterly perfect for him, and he'd behaved atrociously.

When they'd arrived, he'd recognized that particular level of breakage that Gabe had that always prompted Loki to want to protect, but Laurent had been extremely obvious in his passion for that young man even before he'd used his words. Besides, Gabe had proven very quickly that he liked to push, even if he always seemed slightly surprised when he got a reaction – perfect for Laurent's needs, but upsetting for Loki and the opposite of what he needed.

Anyway, the attraction towards Gabe had been momentary, so he hadn't felt guilty about Laurent then. He knew Laurent would stop what they were doing before that physical bond the two of them utilized could impact what he wanted with Gabe.

And that's all it had ever been for them, from their days in the Marines, to travelling in countries where their preferences were too risky to seek others. Physical and meaningless. It was totally separate from their actual friendship, which did have meaning. And they'd continued it here. Both a little out of place and out of their comfort zones. What they had filled in a few of the gaps in each of their needs. And, whilst it was neither of their true preference, they were both versatile enough to make it work.

But the moment he'd seen Kaiya that night there'd been something else. He'd looked so small and afraid, turned in on himself. Afraid of judgment and consequences caused by someone who'd treated him so badly. Loki was furious at the man who'd tossed him away, and, privately, thought he must be a lunatic. Kaiya was adorable – huge brown eyes and the sweetest shy smile. His black hair was glossy and hung to his shoulders – Loki itched to run his fingers through it. Pure. That was the way Loki had to describe him. A fragility that he couldn't deny aroused him, but only in the sense that he wanted it for himself, wanted to be the person to help Kaiya gain the strength he so desperately needed to face the world.

He tried not to overthink today. He tried only two shirts on – the first one accentuated his muscles too much, and he had a feeling that wouldn't be what Kaiya looked for and would be too brazen. And he found himself wanting to show himself in the best light as being somebody Kaiya could trust.

* * * * *

"You ready?" Owen asked softly, taking Gabe's arm to guide him through a doorway.

Gabe nodded. He didn't trust his words, though he knew Gray would expect them at some point. The man himself was there, moving unseen objects around on a low table on the other side of the huge bed. He didn't make Gabe wait, coming over and taking a seat on the ottoman at the end of the bed, gesturing for Gabe to sit on the bed.

"So, have you thought about what you want from this?"

"I have, but I don't know if you're going to like it."

"Try me. Owen and I are here for you."

"You say that now. Anyway, I have memories. They're not clear, not all of them, but there's enough for me to know I liked a lot of stuff I won't get if I leave this behind. But they're all – and I really mean all – wrapped up in a layer of horror. I'm pretty certain that I'll be triggered by some of them, and I want to know what I have a bad reaction to."

He expected Owen to be disgusted and Gray to convince him he was wrong to want to explore that. But Owen stroked his arm with a rhythmic motion that was surprisingly soothing, and Gray tapped a finger to his lip, thinking, before nodding.

"I see why that would be something you feel like you need. But I'm not going to jump straight into using heavy impact tools. In fact, it won't be me that uses them at all. When you're ready for that, we'll find you someone suitably trained. And while you're with me, you're going to have to explore those potential spark points using your words."

It was better than he'd been expecting.

"So you'll pressure me? Work out what sets me off?"

"Something like that. First of all, did you have a contract?"

"No." He took a deep breath. "Sawyer's preference was just to have me obey everything he demanded. I didn't even know about safewords at the start."

"And then?"

"And then, he punished me for asking about them." Gabe shuddered. That was one of the clearer memories.

Gray stayed stoic, but Gabe heard Owen's sharp intake of breath.

"Well, you need a safeword then. Do you have a word in mind?"

Gabe knew he'd thought about it a lot after that first query. Knew he'd had countless occasions where he prayed for the security of a single word that would stop everything. He still shrugged now, though, never having thought of one. He'd known it was a pointless endeavor.

"A lot of people use the traffic light system. Red for stop everything, yellow for slow down and discuss, green to confirm things are okay. Would that work?"

"It would. What if I can't speak though?"

"You will always have an action, though it may vary depending on the reason why you can't speak. A dropped object, a pinch, or a gesture."

He'd know there'd be something. Knew that Gray would be nothing like Sawyer, of course, but there was still a feeling of being flooded with relief at the proof.

"So, the pacing of the scenes we do may be strange and a little unnatural, if we're actively seeking trigger points. And I want you to know that the only reason I'm agreeing to this is because I suspect things might not be as bad as you worry, and it will help you see that. But I have little doubt that there will be some things. So you must promise to use 'red' or 'yellow' immediately if you feel uncomfortable. Don't wait. Later, we can explore the spectrum, but for now, we operate carefully. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

Gray tapped his lip again.

"Okay, you can remove your clothes."

"Oh."

"I'll do it too, if it would help," Owen said.

"I'd like you to feel comfortably vulnerable for the next part. I won't be touching you without warning, though Owen will, if you'd like, in order to keep you grounded here and reduce dissociation."

"Makes sense," Gabe said with a small laugh.

He found himself not really that bothered about stripping in front of Gray, though he did feel slightly self-conscious when he saw Owen's abs. But the pair of them treated it as such a natural thing he was surprised he hadn't caught them naked when he lived at Gray's.

He sat in the same position and was grateful when Owen climbed on the bed behind him and gently massaged the tops of his shoulders. It made him feel loose yet very present and ready for the next step. There was nothing sexual about Owen's touches, other than the feel of a promise, and Gabe could feel the blood leaving his head.

That stopped when Gray spoke. "I'd like to know some of the things you're fairly certain will trigger you, or at least make you feel bad."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to be tied down yet. And I don't know if I'll ever want to kneel. Not because it's a trigger, just the way it makes me feel now."

He continued, listing the things he could remember now, while Gray jotted them in a notepad he'd pulled out of somewhere. They were the things he still saw in his nightmares. The memories that were less muted than the others, and brought sharp, reflective, emotional pain to him more than he feared the physical pain.

In fact, when Gray then asked him to list the things he was still interested in trying, many of them were bright memories too, worrying memories in some ways, but many of them with the different pain too. The sting and the thud. The power that lit his nerves up.

They weren't for today though. And he wasn't sure what today was for, except he realized he'd pretty much forgotten he was naked at some point, and his shoulders felt cold when Owen moved his hands away. Luckily, it was only to put them on his arms and twist him around.

"Did you get off lately?"

Gabe laughed, flushing. "Uh, yeah. Like, yesterday."

"So you have positive recent experiences. But with anyone else?"

"Not yet."

"Do you want to?"

Gabe glanced at Gray, who was still watching, his expression not giving anything away, but the building bulge in his pants saying something.

"How does it work? With the two of you? And all this sex club stuff?"

"Everyone's different. Gray and I play with other people sometimes. Always when we're both there. Some couples play a lot, some never. Some people aren't in emotional relationships, just contracts, but they're still exclusive, and some are open. It's personal choice."

"Personal choice," Gabe repeated. "I'm not exactly used to that."

"I know. If you don't want to do this now, it's fine. If you don't want to do it ever, that's fine too. But if you do want to, I'm interested. I find you incredibly attractive."

Gabe was sure his entire chest must be red, but he didn't tear his eyes away from Owen's to check.

"I am too. Interested I mean. But, this time, just you, yeah?"

"Just me. Are you okay with Gray watching?"

He was. Gray was aroused, but he didn't leer. He hadn't said a word since this interlude began, and Gabe knew he wouldn't shout abuse or degradation at him. And he knew Gray would be looking out for both of their wellbeing and their responses the whole time.

Owen smiled, showing dimples and white teeth. Gabe wondered how much negotiation they needed to do now, but Owen just leaned forward, whispering, "Remember your 'red' and 'yellow' and pinch my side if you can't speak for any reason. There's no demands or expectations here. This is all for you." He finished the lean, pressing plush, dry lips against Gabe's, and Gabe couldn't help moaning, it had been so long since someone desired him enough to kiss him.

He felt like he could get used to this.

A/N: this went longer than usual. I think we all know what's coming next chapter. Gabe might not always have good experiences, but I think he deserves something positive in those memory banks