A/N: If you've read 'La Maison' you might recognize this scene - though there are some changes here.

Dexter 

Yesterday, I'd met Dae in the club after my meeting with François, and our scene had been incredibly intense. I'd shared him with another Dom, which is green on his list of preferences, but he always gets really needy afterward, so I'd taken him back to mine so I could extend his aftercare. 

He's being clingy this morning too; sulking, even though he's pretending not to.

"Are you okay, Baby Boy?"

"Sorry Sir, I know- maybe just coming down." 

I don't quite believe him – not because he didn't go into subspace, because drops happen even without it – because he's always off outside of scenes or the club and I'm a little concerned about his mental health. 

He's always calmer when I'm playing Daddy, but I don't usually do it outside of scenes. Maybe this time, though...

"Hey, Baby, come sit on Daddy's lap, I want a cuddle." 

I was right, as he scrambles to climb onto my lap and buries his face in my neck. 

"You gonna tell me what the matter is?"

"Nothing's the matter, Daddy, I just like sitting with you like this."

"Okay, Baby." 

I feel him tense up, so decide not to delve yet, though I will get to the bottom of it. 

He's such a sweet kid, but he's never himself when he's out of a scene – which may sound strange, because who am I to know? But there's a freeness about him when he's in, that's lacking otherwise. Almost as if he's nervous. I might even go as far as to say scared, although I know he isn't scared of me. I've dealt with a lot of brats over the years, and sometimes they push themselves too hard; do things where they're actually worried about the repercussions, but Dae hasn't been. 

Dae loves repercussions anyway – loves being spanked. And then there's the 'Daddy' thing, which I won't pretend I don't revel in, but I still haven't worked out his motivations. A lot of boys want someone to look after them; make noise about having bills to pay, though I'm not here for that, but Dae gets uncomfortable about me even buying him a coffee – insists he can buy his own, except I have noted he'll just go without. And he definitely doesn't want to be babied. But he loves being cuddled, so maybe it's a touch thing. 

He gets calmer held in my arms, where he fits perfectly. He's so light I could stay like this for hours, just sniffing his glossy locks, which smell like my shampoo from when I bathed him last night. I think he might be dozing off but he surprises me.

"I've been a good boy today, haven't I Daddy?"

"Yes Baby. Why?"

"No reason." But there is a reason, there's always a reason.

Instead I ask: "Would you like to come to Master Gray's birthday dinner this weekend?"

"Yes please Daddy!" He sits up and wriggles his little ass. "I'll be so good."

"I know Baby. Have you done something naughty? Because you're usually good, but you keep talking about being good, like you're feeling guilty." 

"If I've only been usually good, just maybe you should punish me," Dae's bouncing has increased, his small hand beginning to slide up my thigh. I have no idea why he's looking for a punishment, again, but I'm happy to fulfil his need right now, as his bouncing is getting on my nerves after such a peaceful interlude. 

I lift the wriggling boy and place him over my lap, pulling down his jade green running shorts, revealing his pale ass. He keeps squirming as I strike his ass with the flat of my hand – hard. I already know it does no good to warm him up, not when he's seeking penance, which I have a feeling this is. I have him pinned by the back of his neck, my hand easily wrapping so my fingers almost meet. He's so delicate, the feeling increased when he's panting out his sorries, begging me for forgiveness. I drop his knees to the floor and enter him roughly, without any more preparation than a slick of lube on my sheathed cock, slamming in hard, just the way he likes it. 

Afterward, Dae curls up on the couch, sleeping peacefully, satisfied. I cover him with a blanket, leaving him there while I go to my bedroom. It's my place of calm, decorated in deep grays and blacks, with dark wood. It's dull but helps me to sleep. I'm not relaxing now though, I need guidance. 

"Gray, can you talk?""

Hi Dex, I can, what can I help you with?"

"It's Dae. I don't know what I'm doing wrong with him."

"Are you doing something wrong with him? He seems a lot calmer than he was. He's well behaved when you're with him..." 

"Maybe. But it's exhausting. It's a constant battle. He isn't a usual brat, and there's something about his brattishness I can't deal with: there's something more going on – I really don't think he behaves the way he does just for the attention, it's more than that. Every time I think I understand him, he throws me by demanding something. Now I'm spending more time with him – I seem to want him close-," Gray snorts but I ignore him, "I'm noticing a worrying way he has. He is content when we're playing, but when we aren't in scenes if feels like he's always pushing to get into one, and he's withdrawn if I don't take the bait."

"Have you asked him why he does that?" 

I'm confused. Of course I haven't. Of course, I'm expecting Dae to reveal what the issue is soon enough, but he's the one who has to tell me, he's my sub. But then, maybe it is the way Gray does things. Maybe that's why he always has such good relationships with his subs, maybe that's the reason they like him so much, and look up to him. 

Perhaps I should be asking François instead. Or Landon, who seems ridiculously happy right now. Or maybe Chase knows. We didn't do a handover – it's only usual if there are triggers the Dom needs to be aware of – but he and Dae seemed to have a good connection. Gray might be a bad choice, with his constant analysis and the fact that he's always done things differently. We can't all be that good with the subs. 

"Maybe you're right, Gray. I just know I need to do something. I like the kid, but I don't know how much longer I can put up with his mood swings and his demands. I'm punishing him daily and he commands more. I've even started using implements, just because spanking isn't cutting it. I just spanked him for thirty solid minutes and I have no doubt he'll be in here when he wakes trying to get punished again." 

I have Gray's advice though: talk to him. 

When I finish the call I hear a noise, looking up to see Dae's small frame silhouetted in the doorway.

"You don't want me anymore?" Dae's voice is small, tear-filled and sniffling.

"No, Dae, that isn't what I said. We need to talk though, about our expectations." 

He turns quickly and I rub my hands over my face, scrubbing at my short beard, letting him go. I don't know if I can do this. Would the easy thing had been to just say 'no, I don't'? Of course it would, giving up is always the easy thing. But there's more to it than that, because that wouldn't have been the true answer. 

I hear a door bang, galvanizing me into action. In the living room I look around, though I instantly know Dae isn't there, the warm blanket abandoned messily on the floor. I check the spare rooms, my study, the main bathroom. Not there. I know already though; the bang was the solid hit of the front door. It's warm out, and I live in a decent area – I'm not worried about Dae's safety from others, though I am a little worried about his safety from himself. My words to Gray ring in my ears 'there's something more going on'. 

I know Dae doesn't behave like he does because of pure brattiness. In fact, sometimes I think it isn't an attention-seeking device at all. I've seen him get this far away look every so often, when I pull him up on being bratty, like he wishes I hadn't noticed, or something. 

I head out into the streets, bathed in afternoon spring sun, to search for my confusing and confused boy. I only search for an hour, to check Dae isn't sulking somewhere close, waiting to be found in one of the local green parks or peering at me from inside a gallery or coffee shop. He can't be found, but I can't do much else – I don't know where Dae lives and he could have caught any number of subway trains since he left. 

I message him, once, to request a call or message, but don't get anything back, so I call Gray again, explaining what happened. 

"Did you contact any of his friends? Ellis, or Owen, or Nikolai?"

"I don't have their contact details. And I shouldn't be contacting subs..."

"Don't be an ass, Dex, you're clearly worried. Show him you're worried. I suspect that's what he needs. You aren't planning on finishing things with him are you?" 

I think. Yes...no. I feel as though maybe I should, for my own sake. I wasn't signing up for emotional instability when I agreed to work with him. But I'd be a shitty Dom if I just abandoned a sub who was relying on me. And, anyway, even outside what Dae needs, there's a voice telling me I don't want to as well, whatever might be better. 

"I'm going to take that delay as a no, for now, Dex. I'll contact some people, get back to you. Go home for now." 

I take Gray's advice, despite feeling like I want to stay out, roaming the streets, just in case. I haven't been home long when a message pings in.

-He's at Landon's, with Nikolai. You know what you need to do.

I send thanks back to Gray, but don't take any action. I sip coffee, take a shower, change into comfortable clothes. But then I change straight out of them into my usual ensemble, shirt, tie, tightly-fitted waistcoat. No one will ever accuse me of not being well put together. 

When I arrive at Landon's building I'm battling feelings I don't quite understand. Landon opens the door with a flourish before I've arrived at it.

"What did you do?" he whispers.

"It's complicated."

"I bet it isn't." Landon rolls his eyes, but moves to let me in. 

Nikolai comes in, looking unexpectedly angry, asking the same question:"What did you do?" 

I'm taken aback. I've only ever seen Nikolai in situations where he's been behaving as the perfect submissive so, although Landon mentioned they weren't doing D/s twenty-four/seven, the unguarded vitriol in his voice is unexpected. 

Nikolai doesn't wait for an answer, just comes closer and speaks seriously in his thick accent.

"Dae is much, much more fragile than you think. You break down his walls, you have done this already and he lets you in. Now, you reject him and you broke him. You make it up to him, now, or I will be not happy."

"And Dex," Landon adds with a grin, "when Nikki is unhappy, I'm unhappy, so make it right." 

I go to the dim room Nikolai directs me to, see Dae curled up on the large bed, a small dark shape on the snowy vastness. 

"Dae? It's...Dexter," it doesn't feel right to call myself anything but my name in these circumstances. There's no response from the shape. I take the risk and move closer, sitting lightly on the edge, reaching forward to skim my fingers across Dae's curved back. Dae flinches away and I feel a lump rise.

"Dae, sweetie, talk to me."

"Don't call me that," Dae manages to sound aggressive and traumatized at the same time. 

He wriggles away and sits up, turning to press his back against the headboard, wrapping his arms around his bent knees. He refuses to look at me, his head lowered.

"What you heard...I do want you Dae. Lord help me, but I do want you. You're frustrating and bratty and you confuse the hell out of me, but somehow you're firmly under my skin."

"Don't lie to me...Dexter," he spits out the name and I wince.

"I'm not. I didn't realize how bad it was, but I'm not lying. Don't you want me?" 

I'm sadly aware that came out a little more desperate than I'd intended. I even allow myself to wonder if Dae is just being bratty now, looking for punishment, although I don't think so, but even if he was, I find myself incapable of being the cool, controlled Dom I usually am, that I pride myself in. 

Dae finally looks at me, tilting his head to one side in surprise.

"Want you?"

"As your Dom, of course," I manage to pull myself together.

"Oh. I thought- it doesn't matter."

"What, Dae? Tell me? Would it help if I instructed you to? I'm not sure what you're looking for right now." 

There's a slight shift in Dae's demeanor, subtle, but clear to me, and proof that what just happened wasn't a play-act, because this is. He lowers his face, eyes still intently trained on mine and meekly puts a finger to his lip, pulling it into a pout, shaking his head sulkily.

"Dae," I say firmly, "you will tell me what you thought." 

Dae shakes his head, narrowing his eyes. I know what he's looking for – what he thinks he wants – but I'm not going to spank him again – there's no doubt his ass is still sore and pink from the pounding it got earlier. 

I move fast, swooping Dae off the bed to push him against the wall, his small hands pressed into it, with the side of his face. As must be expected for Dae, his petite butt is pushing back against my crotch, moans of arousal from his throat. I slide my hand into Dae's shorts, stroking along his already hard cock.

"You will tell me your thoughts if you want to come," I growl into his delicate ear, stroking a little harder. 

Dae's silence turns to pants, which turn to moans, as I edge him for almost two hours, stopping his orgasm over and over again. I know Landon and Nikolai will be wondering what we're doing...huh, scratch that actually, I doubt what's going on in the guest room is even earning a place in their thoughts. They're probably at it like bunnies themselves. 

Finally, Dae can't take it.

"Please, Daddy, I'll tell you. Please let me come first though."

"No way, sweetness. I'm not having you go straight back to brat-town the minute you've had your way."

"But, Daddy," Dae pants in a whine, "please don't make me."

"I am making you. I am your Master and you will do as I say," I pause my ministrations just for long enough to lean in and plant one kiss on Dae's fat pliable lips. "Dae, know that I won't judge you for anything you say." 

Dae twists his head to see me better.

"It's not the truth. You... no one has ever wanted... you're no different."

"Please, Dae," I thought I had him, and have to pull back to keep the whine from my voice, "can't you consider for a moment that I might be different. I want the real you. All of it." 

There. I said it now. I admitted how I feel – which I only actually realize at the moment it's revealed. Will it be enough though? I'm holding Dae across the chest, my other hand still on his cock, but I feel Dae sliding to the floor, and I crouch by the now sobbing boy. 

"Really?" Dae gulps the words out. "You like me, really?"

"I like you, Dae. I want more of you than just bratty sub. I want bratty sub and sweet boy and all the permutations in between."

"You wouldn't if you knew what a monster I was."

"I like you regardless of any of that," I mean, low self-esteem and anxiety doesn't make a monster, no matter what people who suffer from it might think. 

I can't say anything else because Dae launches himself at me, knocking me flat on my back to kiss the air out of me.

A/N: Dae has definitely got some issues, and I feel like I haven't given them enough credence prior to this scene. He's one of my favorite characters so I will be addressing that when I edit.