* * * * *

I don't hear from Owen that day though, or the next. I try to tell myself he's busy with work, I mean, undoubtedly he is, but when he doesn't respond to my suggestion we meet for lunch on Wednesday, which I know is his day off this week, I start to get worried. I even try to phone him, but he doesn't pick up.

By Saturday I'm stressed and angry. With myself, mainly, but with him too. Why isn't he responding to my messages? Obviously he's pissed we didn't scene last weekend, but Owen isn't the sulking type, for all he enjoys playing as a sweet boy. So there must be more to it, but how am I to know if he refuses to speak to me? I decide to go to the club, hoping he'll be there when I message him asking him to meet.

* * * * *

Owen has the day off on Saturday. He's had a terrible week, trying to throw himself into work, trying to forget the sympathy in Gray's eyes when he looked at Liam, trying to forget how clear it was that Liam needed Gray, and how quick Gray was to rush to his aid, how quick he was to take him home.

He knows that Gray can't love him yet, not the way he loves Gray, anyway. It doesn't change how much it hurt when he saw the caring way he interacted with Liam, a man who held Gray's love, and Owen feels a fury that he threw it away so flippantly, although he doesn't know the details of it. Only the small amount Gray has revealed.

The way Gray's instant reaction was to help Liam, to be there for him, makes him feel vacant and exposed, like he's given too much of himself to Gray already, a waste, when it cannot be reciprocated.

He meets up with Ellis for shopping and lunch, Gabriel joining them. Owen tries to be normal, tries to be friendly and fun, but sensitive Gabe spots his reticence quickly, as they sit in the restaurant waiting for their order.

"What's happened, Owen? You've been distant all morning."

"I'm fine guys, promise."

Owen feels like the worst kind of liar. These are two of his closest friends, but it would feel like a betrayal of Gray to start bitching about him, though he's not even sure what he's bitching about as he's refused to respond to any of his messages. He doesn't want his fears to be realized, feeling sure that Gray was already halfway to forgiving Liam even last weekend.

He doesn't need to betray anything though; Ellis seems to know all already.

"Are you pissed at Gray?"

"Why would you ask that?" Owen tries to sound unbothered, but Ellis getting so close to the problem has unnerved him.

"He came over last night, you know? He was miserable. He told Suzu you weren't replying to his messages. Why aren't you? I thought you were happy?"

"Did he mention Liam?"

"He said he's been seeing a therapist at the center. He seems to think he's been doing well."

"The center?"

"Yeah, Gray got him a place in rehab, he took him there that night. Wait...you didn't know that? Because you haven't spoken to him," Ellis realizes. "Are you telling me you thought- ?"

"I didn't think anything. It's just obvious. Those two have a history together, and Liam clearly needs him. There's no way Gray will let him down."

Ellis looks aghast.

"Are you kidding me, Owen? You're ghosting Gray, and making him miserable as all hell, because you're assuming he wants Liam more than he wants you? Man, he's going to be pissed when he finds out."

Owen's eyes widen.

"What do you mean?"

"You're being an idiot, but there's no way Gray is going to let you go that easily. I'm sure he's giving you space right now, but he won't just give up on you. But when he finds out you ran away instead of talking to him you're going to get such an ass-whooping."

Ellis laughs joyfully but Owen bites his lip nervously. He wants to believe Ellis, maybe not about the ass-whooping, but about the idea that Gray wants him, and won't give up on him, but he makes Ellis promise not to say anything to Gray – he isn't ready to face the problem yet.

He makes a decision though, and after he's hugged Ellis and Gabe goodbye he hops on the subway and goes to Mount Horeb hospital, a private hospital with a nation-wide respected mental health and drug dependency unit. Ellis gave up the name of the center with ease, though he made Owen promise not to beat Liam, although the laugh it came with makes it pretty clear Ellis thinks Owen is incapable of such a thing.

Slightly to Owen's surprise, Liam agrees to see him straight away, and they meet in the communal living area. Owen spends almost all of his time in a hospital anyway, so sights and smells of sickness and emotional breakdown are not uncommon to him, but this place is something else. Despite the almost luxurious furnishings and facilities, Owen can't help but note the hollow eyes and sunken souls of the people scattered around the room, alone, or in small groups but not talking.

"Don't worry," Liam smiles, the glimmer in his blue eyes undiminished despite his situation, "they're only being like this because you're here. They really aren't this detached when outsiders aren't here."

"Oh?" Owen has nothing else to say to that.

He watches Liam, his slim legs pulled up on the chair, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Without even seeing when it begins, Owen notes Liam's eyes are glistening, brimming with tears when he looks at him.

"You must hate me."

"Why? You needed to do this," Owen certainly isn't going to admit the roiling thoughts in his head caused by this interloper, or the fear that Liam's words pull in him.

"I mess everything up. I had Gray, and I'd do anything to go back to then, to before it happened, to have him again and not make those mistakes. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say things like that in front of you. Gray always said I was too honest for my own good, but I suppose I wasn't really, not when it truly counted."

Owen stares unseeing through the high window, the tops of trees all that's visible.

"Maybe you and I have something in common then."

"Why did you come see me?" Liam sounds nervous now, and Owen wonders if he doesn't share Ellis' certainty that he wouldn't hurt a fly.

"I'm not sure really. Partly to see if you're okay. But I don't know what the other part is."

"You don't? Isn't it to see if I have designs on Gray?" there's a slight sneer in Liam's tone now, which Owen can't be surprised by, though it still makes him flush.

"I don't think that would matter. I trust Gray," and he realizes he really does, although that isn't actually the problem here, "but I don't know if I'm even important enough to him for my emotions in this to be relevant to him."

Liam watches Owen for a moment, waits until the rose-blush across his pale cheeks has faded, as if he's thinking, fighting a battle under the surface, his calm face not belying the frantic paddling of his brain.

"Owen," he makes a decision that seems to cause him pain, his breathing shallow, "the way Gray looked at you, I was going to say it was the way he used to look at me, except that would be a lie. He never looked at me like I was something so precious, something to be clung to and cared for."

Owen gulps, looking into Liam's pained stained-glass eyes, refusing to react, not wanting to add to his agony.

* * * * *

Owen isn't at the club, even though I time my arrival a little late in the hope that I'll see him on the dancefloor when I walk in. I'm trying to stay optimistic but I feel my body drain and head to the VIP area, greeting Chase and Xander.

"Where's Owen, Gray?" Xander asks, subtlety-free as ever.

"I don't know," I growl.

"He pissed at you for running off with Liam?" Chase asks, laughing.

Damn, why'd it have to be these two?

"I did not run off with Liam. I took him to a rehab clinic, checked him in, and went home."

"Really?" Chase asks. "You're such a white knight, even more so because you don't even want anything for it. What's it like being such a fucking angel?"

Despite his words, Chase is joking, I think, at least. I don't feel like much of an angel right now though. I just want to talk to Owen – but whatever is going on with him, I just need to give him some time to get past it.

I'm sulking when Frankie and Ellis arrive, and Ellis immediately detaches himself from Frankie's side and approaches me.

"Good evening, Sir," he says formally, his eyes lowered.

"Hi, Ellis, how are you?"

"I'm well, thank you, Sir, I went shopping and out for lunch today."

Well, that's nice, but why is he being so weirdly formal with me? The slow cogs of my brain are sped up when Frankie approaches us and puts an arm over Ellis' shoulders.

"Hey dummy," he says with a grin, "so you can't get Owen to speak to you, huh? But he hasn't dropped off the earth – he had lunch with Ellis today."

I look at Ellis, who just gazes back with a slight smile on his face.

"And, is there anything you discussed at lunch that I should know?" I ask.

"Yes, Sir. But there's nothing that we discussed that I can tell you."

Okay, so Owen told Ellis stuff but made him promise not to say anything to me. But the smile makes me think it probably wasn't all bad. And then the smile widens immeasurably and I turn, to see Owen standing there, looking beautiful but pale, his black jeans and t-shirt emphasizing the green of his eyes.

I'm to him in four long strides, taking him in my arms, feeling the press of his cuffs against the small of my back as he reaches around me, holding the back of his soft hair as I pull his face to me, pouring all the good things into him, making sure the bad things don't get in. Somehow, I know that, right now, it isn't passion and dominance he needs, but care.

Even though we leave straight away, barely sharing more than half a dozen words, and it isn't late, by the time we reach mine Owen is sleeping, his sweet face relaxed. I carry him carefully into the house, debating whether to carry him straight to bed – what I want to talk about can wait till morning. But he awakes as I unlock the door, snuffling sleepily into my neck.

"Hey, Bunny, would you like a hot chocolate?"

"Yes, please, Sir," he murmurs with a small smile, and I lay him on a couch in the living room, where he can see me shuffling around the kitchen making the hot drink.

"How do you feel, Bunny? You were tired."

He chuckles, his throat husky with sleep, "I'm okay, Sir. I haven't slept that much this week, work, you know? Have you seen Liam much this week?"

"I took him some things on Sunday, and I visited on Thursday. But it wouldn't be appropriate to spend too much time there – they have their own therapists."

"He needs you," there's something unfathomable in Owen's carefully neutral expression, but I don't think I need my doctorate to work out what it is.

I bring him the warm mug, which he accepts gratefully. And I sit next to him, pulling his back against my chest, kissing lightly down his elegant neck.

"Owen, we both have pasts. But I want to be in the present, with you. You're mine, and I'm yours."

"For real?"

That makes me laugh, but is also a little frustrating. I mean, I thought I'd made it pretty clear how important Owen is to me. But then, have I ever said it? There's been talk of ownership, and there are the cuffs, of course, but a lot of that stuff does relate strongly to the D/s side. Does he realize I love him? Because I haven't used the words yet.

"Owen- "

"Sir- oh! Sorry I interrupted. But may I speak?"

"Of course, Owen."

"Sir, well, Gray, I know Liam is important to you, and I know you'd still be with him if the stuff with him hadn't happened," I want to stop him, but have to let him finish, "but I just want you to know you're important to me too. I could barely believe it when you said you wanted to work with me again, and in this less formal way, that feels so natural and so much fun, and I know I promised I wouldn't get too attached, but really I just want to put my hat in the ring for this..."

My god, he's so adorable, even now when he's nervous he has a broad dimple-releasing smile on his face, his stunning eyes clear enough to swim in.

"I'm sorry I'm such an idiot, Owen," he tries to tell me I'm not but I pull him into a hug, running my lips along his jaw, "no, I am. I thought I was being clear but it turns out most of the clarity was only inside my head. You're not just a submissive to me. I thought the cuff made that clear, but if you only associate it with play, I guess I can understand why you didn't realize. I love you, Owen. All the talk about you being mine, I mean it in the broadest sense, not just while we're scening- "

"I never thought, I never realized," there are glistening tears in his eyes, "I love you, too, Gray, I just didn't think you wanted me that way..."

"Stop doubting yourself, Owen, you're perfect. I want to show you something," I leave him on the couch and go to my office, bringing back the designs that Eddie, who works as an interior designer when he isn't helping Emilio with the Caribbean restaurant, has made.

"Wow, is this...?"

"The playroom. I want a new design. One for both of us. These are some designs Eddie came up with, so we just need to decide what we want."

We spend a while discussing furniture and implements, color-schemes and fabrics, until Owen lets out a yawn and I scoop him into my arms and carry him to my bedroom.

* * * * *

A/N: I just want to mention, I'm not too happy with the lead up to this. Owen was being way too dense about the way Gray feels about him - and he isn't dumb so it doesn't feel quite right - I will be addressing that in the final edit, but for the time-being we'll just have to assume he had a total blind spot on this one thing