Gabriel looks almost as stunned as me.

"You didn't tell me the therapist was a Dom. And the same one as last time," Gabriel's tone is one of shocked fear.

Ellis is confused, "Sorry, I thought it was obvious. How many therapists do you think I know? But I thought you didn't go to see him?"

I interrupt, "Ellis, did you know your friend was Master Sawyer's submissive?"

"What? No! Gabe, you're not are you? No wonder you look like that."

It's harsh, but Ellis isn't wrong. Gabriel looks sick, his skin pale and clammy, his hair knotted and greasy. His clothes are loose, but I can see his sharp collarbone as his hooded sweater isn't fully zipped, so he's lost even more weight. I don't entirely understand how Ellis has missed it – Sawyer has started bringing Gabriel more often, and spending more time in the main areas, although Ellis has been dealing with a lot, and I suppose his training means he doesn't look intently at other subs unless he's given direct permission.

"Wait, you didn't know he was a submissive, or Master Sawyer's?"

"Master Sawyer's. Of course I know he's a submissive, that's why I've been worried about him. As soon as he got into this new relationship something was wrong. And it's been getting worse," he turns to Gabriel, "Gabe, you have to trust Gray. He can help you."

"He can't. No one can," Gabriel hisses, and turns, walking quickly away from the park.

"I'm sorry, Gray, I didn't mean to waste your time."

"It's okay, Ellis, you couldn't have known."

I think back.

"Is it Gabriel you gave the money to?"

He knows what I mean straight away and looks ashamed. I know why he didn't tell Frankie. The way their relationship was going at that time Ellis would have been expecting even worse punishment if Frankie had known Ellis wanted to help a beautiful friend – suspicion would have been rife. But then, Frankie could have surprised us all. He's always felt strongly – and reacted strongly – to the idea that submissives should be cared for properly.

"I'll try to speak to him. Gabriel isn't just beautiful on the outside, he's an incredible person inside too. But he's always been really vulnerable. I've known him since I came here, and he took me under his wing, looked after me when I was in a really bad place. So I think it took me too long to realize just how fragile he has always been himself.

"He used to have a Master, who I think treated him alright, although of course I didn't actually know they were D/s back then, he's never told me that. I never met him properly, only saw him when he'd pick Gabriel up after class. He was older; like old, maybe fifty. I actually thought he was Gabriel's dad at first, but thank god I never said that. But when he ended things with Gabe I know he was seriously heartbroken. He moved into dorms, and I swear he didn't leave his room for six months except for classes."

"Sounds like he might have been depressed," I speak carefully, knowing Ellis has suffered under the black dog himself, although he surprises me by being entirely blasé about it.

"Oh, for sure he was depressed. Still is. Thing is, I thought he was hurting himself. But now, I'm not so sure. Maybe it was Sawyer all along."

"Or maybe that's why he's with Sawyer," I'm pondering more to myself than anything, but Ellis' eyes are wide and afraid.

* * * * *

Gabriel feels sick. He doesn't know why he was expecting Ellis' friend to be someone else, why would he be? But then he'd originally assumed the recommendation had been for whoever Ellis had seen, just before Gabriel had made that stupid mistake – though he'd never known why Ellis was seeing a psychiatrist he had guessed Ellis had some bad stuff in his past. It's like his brain just can't make connections anymore, like it's been short-circuited.

If Master ever found out...the mere thought makes Gabriel shudder, nausea washing over him.

But that's it. The fact that he gets that feeling. Really, truly, he needs to get away from that feeling. Soon. He needs to walk away. But he has nothing. And without Sawyer... he just doesn't know if he can face it. Sawyer needs him. He finds it too hard to deal with things on his own. Gabriel helps him to feel calmer.

* * * * *

I'm packing up my briefcase, ready to go home and relax, when the buzzer for the outside office goes. Damn Mariella, is that woman ever actually here? But, as usual, it's my own fault. I told her to leave because she's going out for dinner with her husband for their twentieth anniversary this evening. I wonder if I'll ever have that kind of longevity with someone. I guess I'm running out of time.

When I go into the waiting room I'm not entirely surprised to see it's Gabriel.

"I'm sorry I left earlier," he's not making eye contact, but not in a submissive way.

The vulnerability is coming off him in waves.

"Come in and sit down, Gabriel," I'm careful to keep my voice calm, without switching into the smooth instruction I use when I'm Domming.

He follows me into my office and sits on the comfortable leather couch. I sit in my large armchair after I've got him a glass of water, which he places on the low coffee table with a hand that shakes slightly.

"I'll just let you know a little about the way I conduct my therapy. I am quite blunt, and I ask that you do your best to be honest in your responses, but that you don't respond if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Does that seem okay?"

"Uh, I guess, I mean, I think that will be alright."

"Right, then, can you tell me why you want to speak to a therapist?"

He pauses, glancing around the room with darting, fearful eyes. Finally, he takes a deep breath, steeling himself.

"Well I don't know that I do want to see a therapist. Ellis sort of pushed this on me. He kept trying to get me to talk to him about what's been bothering me, and when I wouldn't, he told me he knew someone who could help me."

"So, why does Ellis think there's something bothering you?"

"I know I've not been doing great for a while. My- my boyfriend broke up with me. We'd been together for three years, and I didn't see it coming. I guess I didn't cope very well. And then I met Master Sawyer..."

"How did you meet him?"

"I met him at the Conservatory, after a concert. He took me to dinner, and then to a club, Top Floor, do you know it?"

I do. It's an okay club, but not exactly a safe space for people who are uncertain or susceptible. I'm not surprised Sawyer goes there. I just nod.

"He told me he'd look after me..."

"And did he?"

"At first. But I don't like some of the things he does."

"Are you afraid of him?"

Gabriel looks up at me with his soft gray-hazel eyes, which are glistening with emotion. He allows a single nod, gulping.

"Listen, Gabriel, I know a little about Sawyer. And it worries me that you're so clearly fragile and with him. He isn't a man to be fragile around."

He gulps again, the hot tears splashing on his cheeks, "I know. But I love him. And I know he loves me. He just can't help it sometimes. He's not always in control, he doesn't mean to hurt me."

I'm truly not so sure about that, but Gabriel isn't in the mood now for home truths like that. He will need to be dealt with far more softly.

"Was your old Dominant a sadist too? Did he like to cause pain?"

"No...nev- never maliciously. And he wasn't my Dominant, not really."

"How old were you when that relationship began?"

"Fifteen," his voice is small, but I hold my judgement back, as I should.

"How old are you now, Gabriel?" I ask, softly.

"Nineteen."

Fuck, he's far younger than I thought, his weary eyes carrying so much pain beyond what he should have had to contend with.

"What was your old Master called?"

"Gerry. He was my violin teacher. Since I was ten."

Well, that's disturbing. I suppose the silver lining is that he kept his hands to himself for five years, at least.

"What was your relationship like?"

"Happy. He looked after me. I had to do as I was told, but it was okay, he always cared for me. I was in a foster home before – they had six other kids so I think they were relieved when I started to spend a lot of time away from home. He brought me to New York when I finished school, put me into the Conservatory, got a job there himself as a violin teacher. But something was wrong straight away. He started pulling back."

Gabriel hides a sob, the pain of the loss still clearly fresh.

"Did he leave the city?"

"He did. He took his new boyfriend with him."

"Can you describe the new boyfriend?"

"Yes, it was someone who was in some of the same music lessons as me. He was younger, sixteen. Kind of pale, with brown hair. Wouldn't make eye contact, I think he was shy, because his family had sent him to board."

Sounds like an easy target to me, and it solidifies a thought that has been brewing.

"What did you look like when you were fifteen?"

He looks surprised but answers readily, "Uh, a bit skinny I guess, I didn't really start filling out until recently. Kind of short too, I shot up when I was about seventeen," he chuckles lightly, clearly no idea, "I guess I used to look younger than I was..."

And he was already pretty young. I look at his beautiful face, large eyes swimming with emotion as he runs his long fingers over the scruff on his defined jawline. He looks tired, and I think it's obvious why Gerry looked somewhere else, but I don't know if he's ready to have it confirmed.

"Tell me about Sawyer."

"Like what? How we met?"

"Start there."

"It was actually due to talking to Ellis. He was always coming to my dorm, trying to cheer me up. One day we were drinking whiskey, just talking. I, er, I tried to kiss him. I guess I thought he would only do that stuff if he wanted something more from me. He freaked out a bit, I felt really bad, but I think that calmed him down – he saw how upset I was.

"That's when he told me he was a submissive and he had a Dom boyfriend. He described how it was, and I thought it sounded like what my relationship had been with Gerry, although he never called himself a Dominant.

"I saw how happy Ellis was when he talked about it, how much it suited him. I started to think that might be what I wanted, but he told me I wasn't ready for it. He told me he'd done it when he shouldn't have and he was just lucky he'd found his soulmate, and I needed to be in a better place before I made a decision like that.

"But he withdrew after that, I thought he'd regretted being so open with me. It left me in a pretty dark place, though you mustn't tell him that."

"I won't. What we talk about here is completely confidential."

"Okay. Well, I ignored it for a while, but we did a benefit concert at school, and they always have a party afterwards, and the performers are expected to talk to the people who've come; we're meant to convince them to donate. Mr Brubaker never makes me do that bit though, because I'm not great at it. Sometimes he just gets me to play during the party instead. But that night Sawyer approached me, told me he wanted to donate a large sum."

"What was he like?"

"Really kind. I think he could tell I was scared, that I needed someone to look after me. He took me out for dinner, to talk about the donation, but he started talking about the other stuff. He could just tell..." Gabriel flushes pink. "He took me home, that first night, after he'd shown me the club, and he was nice to me, took things slowly."

He suddenly glances at the clock.

"Shit, I really have to go. I'm going to get into trouble."

"You don't have to go."

He looks genuinely confused, as if he's wondering why he wouldn't, and I realize, yet again, I'm letting my 'unprofessional' show.

"Just, just try not to mention to Sawyer that you came to see me."

"Oh, I won't. He wouldn't like it. He really didn't like it last time, even though I didn't admit anything when he...when he asked. He was mad anyway."

You're not kidding.

* * * * *