"Bathroom, brush, bed."
   "Bathroom, brush, bed."
   "Okay, flush then brush... Where's my toothpaste?" I looked around the bathroom, but my toothpaste was nowhere to be spotted. I guess I wasn't going to bed with clean teeth tonight.
   My eyes were half open as I stumbled across the hall to my room. My room. "Shit," I said out loud. Day two of forgetting to clean my room. I knew my mom would get on me about it tomorrow. "This is why no one likes you," I mumbled to myself putting in my retainer.
   I flopped onto my bed causing the three blankets and four pillows to bounce from the thump of my body. I sprawled out, making sure to cover every inch of the bed with my skin. It wasn't neat and the sheets weren't tucked in. Two pillows surrounded my head and while the others rested by my legs. Thats how I liked it, with the T.V set on low. The background noise made me feel less lonely. Nothing interesting was on, so it was just cartoons again.
   I tossed and turned in my bed while my mind took me back to last summer. We had been together just over a year and had just met for the first time. I remember hugging him for the first time at the airport, my very first words to him were "I love you." "I love you too," he had said as he pushed me away to look at my face. "You're so beautiful," he stated to me, pulling me in for another hug. Time seemed to slow and everything seemed okay, we had each other now.
   Only a few moments later, we were packing his suitcase into Chads' car. Now it was just ninety minutes back home, and the awkwardness in the car was strong. Him and I were together in the backseat with nothing but his suitcase between us, and my best friend in the passenger seat. Him and I were texting eachother as Chad talked to him about the cool things in Ohio we could introduce him to, but I doubt he cared. He was from California anyway, I'm sure he's experienced better. Who likes a state filled with corn?
   I snapped awake nearly to tears. "Why do I think about these things?" I asked myself. "Things I know will make me sad once I realize it's fake." I reached for the other pillow by my head, hugging it tightly.
Once again, my mind wandered. Him and I on our first date, the day before he had to leave. My thoughts were jumping everywhere, from us eating at the Cheesecake Factory to us cuddling in the movie theatre while "47 Meters Down," played on the giant screen in front of us. "Stop it!" I yelled to myself. My mind is killing me. "Anything but this!" At this point, tears were streaming down my face. I can't think of him, it hurts.