It was a normal day in the task force like the others (seriously what is wrong with me) you were doing your work as usual quietly. Well until.

No pov

"L, what shall I do next?" You asked L after finishing some cases of kira's victims.

"Oh here (Y/N)" L then handed you a file. "It's the suicide cases". L pushed them on the desk in front of you. you paused for a moment then stood up.

"Matsuda, can you please exchange your work?" You said.

"Okay (Y/N) but my file is bigger" he said.

"It's okay" then you took his file and sat down again.

"Why didn't you take them (Y/N)?" L asked you. You stayed silent not answering him. But to you it's because you wanted to forget what you wanted to do everyday. To end this hopeless life of yours. You wanted that even before the kira case. Of course L knew something was on but he wasn't sure of his theory.

You acted strange the rest of the day quieter than usual.

L then doubted if he did something wrong so he went to ask you.

"(Y/N)" he called.

"What L?" You asked.

"Did I say something wrong? " L asked.

"W-why do you think like that?" you replied confused of him.

"I mean" he began "since I handed you the file you were acting weird" he continued.

'Why? Why do I have to be that obvious?'  you blamed myself.

"Me weird? You're just imagining things " you replied trying hard to not be suspicious.

"(Y/N) I know you're lying" his words shocked you. You rarely lied you hated it but you were a master in it. (God, he's the world's greatest detective of course he would know what am I writing?)

"Why would I lie?" you asked relaxed so you not seem to be on the edge.

"Well you handle every case well but you seemed sensitive to suicide so I figured that you are suicidal yourself or a dear person to you attempted it" he explained.

'No no no no' you said to yourself and thought ... 'Well if it's like this why lie more?' You thought.

"So what if I was L? That has nothing to do with you nor the case so why do you care? And don't worry I won't leave the work like that,I will finish the case first I know you can't trust people well" You finally spoke.

You left leaving L silent.

You thought walking in the hallway carrying some reports' okay from now on I must hide it well from others, I don't need someone else to find out'.

I then walked to my chair after putting the reports on the desk.

'Hmm?' I wondered as I saw L focused on his computer more than usual 'what could it be?' I leaned closer since he was next to me... 'WHAT THE?' I yelled in my mind as I saw the title {How to deal with a suicidal person} 'why the hell would L be reading this? Does he really care?' I thought I had a little hope that someone cares about me but I soon shrugged it off.

"Hey L why are you reading this" I asked him in a 'why do you care' tone.

"I wanted to know more about how do you feel and if I can help you" he replied with a concerned tone.

"Why do you do this? Don't you have work?" I asked.

"Actually no you did half of it" he replied.

'Oh right' "so why do you want to help me?" I asked uninterested.

"Well because you are a dear person (Y/N) and a hard worker; losing you would be a loss" he replied still reading.

I was shocked for a second but brusted out laughing gaining some's attention.

'Losing me a loss?" I laughed again "you have gotit all wrong, that would be a save for space and people's time" I explained still laughing.

"Hmm I also read that so you are in a high state" he said.

"Well don't worry that brain of yours" I said to him.

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Sorry I can't complete it now. There will be part 2