Prompt: what if the roles were reversed.

It'd been years and he was still dwelling in the deep dark depths of the fandom. The story of the girl that got him through the worst parts of life. The tale of (y/n) (l/n). All he wanted was for her to be real.

(Y/n) was someone who, while fictional, he could relate to, he could see himself in, he could turn to for happiness. Hell even looking at pictures of her gave him a kick of serotonin. It was short lived though, by the time the memory that she wasn't real came back the depression just took over again.

What started at a mild interest in his teen years over the story quickly grew to saving cute pictures of his favourite character, to watching fan edits, to reading fan fiction, even writing it. (Y/n) was a vessel that filled the void in his life. Someone he could project onto, someone he could look up to, someone he could love and adore. What he wouldn't give to just breathe the same air as you.

If Shinigami existed, he hoped that there was a universe out that where the girl of his dreams existed. Looking up at the posters on his walls, the figures on the shelf, the DVDs by the TV, the replica of the girls iconic hoodie hanging on his door handle, he felt both joy and sadness. Joy because this work of fiction meant the world to him, sadness because his girl wasn't real.

It was cold today, maybe he could wear her hoodie. It would be unusual to the taskforce to see L with something that isn't a white shirt on his top half, but it was cold, they'd probably just shrug it off. He rolled out of bed, he didn't sleep much that night. Too busy worrying about the Kira case and daydreaming about what it'd be like to live in the world of his biggest fandom.

He felt awful today. So overtired, so unmotivated. But work had to get done, he grabbed the hoodie, pulling it off the hanger and over his head, the sleeves slightly too long for him and covering his hands. Walking downstairs and into the main room where the rest of the taskforce sat and worked, he pulled the hood up over his head to try and block them out and focus on the case. But he was tired, unmotivated, sad. Whenever he tried to type no words came to mind, it was one of those days his hyper fixation was taking over his mind.

All he could think about was head canons, little details about the fictional world, the way (y/n) was the embodiment of 'his type'. The soundtrack from the final episode played in his mind over and over. His favourite scenes played in his brain every so often. He felt so... empty. Why?

He has this amazing franchise in his life so why does he feel so empty? Loneliness that's why. A hug from Watari or Matsuda wouldn't suffice, he wanted a hug from (y/n). Fan fiction and self insert shipping only does so much.

He just wanted love. Love from the person he loved most. But the world was cruel to him, she was fictional, he was real. What would it take to make the void in his life full? A custom fanfic? A cosplay perfect down to the detail? A body pillow? A life side cardboard cut out? A hologram of her? How could he bring her to life?

He can't. And that hurt.

"Hey! I recognise that hoodie!"

Snapping out of his daze, he turned to Misa standing behind him.

"Yeah, it's (y/n)s" he replied.

"From that anime they used to play on channel 6?"

"Yeah that's the one"

"I didn't know you liked anime" Misa said.

"I do. This one mostly" L replied.

"Yeah I remember watching it when it was airing. It was so long ago though I hardly remember it. But I remember finishing it and thinking it was good"

"It's great, best anime I've seen"

"Hmm, maybe I should re-watch it. (Y/n) was really funny though,I remember that. Everything that came out of her mouth was such a mood"

"Yeah... she's great. Definitely a good character" L sighed.

As much as he liked to info dump about the show and his love (y/n), he just wasn't feeling it today. The looming 'she's not real, you're alone Lawliet' hovered over him. He'd do anything to just say hello to her.

"Man you just bought back so many memories. I remember coming home from school and watching it. I'm definitely going to watch it again" Misa said, walking over to her laptop to add it to her watch list.

"Yeah it's my favourite show..."

L looked down at the sleeves of the hoodie, he was never able to view it as his hoodie. More his hoodie than he took off her. It was her hoodie, he just happened to be wearing it.

It was probably the closest he'd get to a hug from her, that's for sure.

No matter how many (y/n) x readers he read, the void was never filled. No matter how much merch he bought, the emptiness stayed. No matter how many edits he watches, the loneliness would still loom over him.

That's the thing about being in love with a fictional character. You can devote your life to them, but you don't get the satisfaction of seeing them smile as you walk in the room. You can ask their voice actor to say your name in the voice, but it's never the same as having it come from the actual character.

The line between fiction and reality is a harsh one. It's real or it's not, blurring them can be bad. But it's also painful to know the one you love is just pixels on a screen.

So so close, but so far away.

He didn't want anyone else. He wanted her, he wanted (y/n), he wanted you.