\di-ˈtir-ē-ə-ˌrāt\

verb

: to become worse as time passes

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"Bakit mo pa ba kasi binabasa yan?" Tanong ni Jongdae, manager ng sikat na singer na si Do Kyungsoo. Sinubukan nitong agawin ang laptop mula sa alaga pero mabilis yong naisara ni Kyungsoo at nailagay sa gilid nya para hindi maabot ng manager.

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Paano pa yung ibang death threats tulad ng I will kill you at ako mismo ang sasakal sayo mula sa mga taong galit na galit sakanya. Hindi nya alam kung bakit sakanya nagagalit ang marami, samantalang hindi naman sila ang inagawan nya ng boyfriend.

It was Krystal.

Krystal didn't even say a word to him tapos sila kung makapag bigay na ng death threats sakanya akala mo sya ang may kasalanan ng WWII?

Bunch of idiots.

Their idea of the issue doesn't make sense either. Kung mahal ng dalawa na yon ang isa't isa, kahit presidente pa ng South Korea ang humadlang sakanila, they can fight for their love.

Just like how Baekhyun and Chanyeol fight for theirs, may Kyungsoo man o may Sehun.

Pero si Krystal, or better call her Soojung, mas piniling hiwalayan si Kim Jongin dahil lang nakita nya tong nakikipag dinner date sa ex nito. That just proves what their relationship was all about.

A dying relationship.

A nonsense bond without bearings.

Parehas naghihintay na magkamali ang isa't-isa para magkaroon ng dahilan ang breakup nila. If Krystal can even say thank you to him, she had probably even kiss his shoes because of gratitude.

Kilalang kilala nya si Kim Jongin, that guy doesn't know the meaning of real commitment.

Dalawang bagay lang ang hindi kayang iwan ng isang Kim Jongin, and those are music and sex.

Tama.

Sex.

Lust.

Flesh.

The guy even write a music once while they're going at it like rabbits. As in habang nag sesex sila, nag susulat ito ng kanta.

Crazy how much he loved him... more than himself.

"See, sabi ko kasi sayo wag mo nang basahin. Tapos ngayon, mag-i-space out ka nalang dyan?"

"Jongdae."

"What?"

Tumingin sya sa manager nya.

"Don't you think Jongin deserves this death threats more than me?"

Si Jongin ang sira-ulo. Si Jongin ang may kasalanan ng lahat. Ginamit lang sya ng lalaki sa mga gusto nito. Ginamit lang sya ni Jongin para maging dahilan ng breakup nila ng girlfriend nya, and he succeeded. He was out of the relationship, free of responsibilities and clean of blames.

Sya ang pinuruhan ng mga tao.

Sya ang third party, kung hindi sya pinanganak hindi maghihiwalay ang Royal Couple, kung namatay sya ng mas maaga, sana si Jongin parin at si Krystal. Sya. Sya ang sinisi ng lahat.

And all he ever did was love.

All he ever did is call out for help. Akala nya tinutulungan siya ni Jongin, pinaglalaruan lang pala sya nito.

Ngayon, hindi nya na alam kung ang relasyon ba nilang tumagal ng dalawang taon noon, yung mga "mahal kita" at "you're all I needed", yung mga bagay na yon noon, hindi nya na alam kung alin pa don ang totoo.

Totoo sya.

Si Jongin? Hindi nya alam.

Dalawang taon silang nag sama, falling inlove everyday, singing their own love songs, making music with the beat of their syncronize heart, making love.

Love. Loving to the extent of hurting each other. Loving to the extent of physically hurting himself to stop the pain in his heart.

His heart slowly dying... deteriorating, dissolving.

But Jongin never asked about the cuts.

Kung bakit... kung para saan... kung paano.

Hindi sya nagtanong. Not even a single why.

Hanggang isang araw, ipininarinig sakanya ni Jongin ang bago daw nitong kanta, tumugtog 'to sa loob ng kotse. It was a good song, great rhythmic sounds, great vocal talent, not until he slowly understood the meaning of every words. Unti-unting nilamon ng bawat letra ang utak nya, paulit-ulit ang bawat lyrics.

It was a breakup song, exclusively made for him by the famous singer-dancer Kim FUCKING Jongin.

"Kyungsoo. Finish your breakfast. Aalis pa tayo."

Mabilis nyang kinain ang toast nya at ang itlog na niluto ng manager. Pipirma sya ngayon ng kontrata under his new record label. Nagpasya syang wag nang pumirma ulit ng kontrata under his company at lumipat sa label na dati pa syang nililigawan. SM Entertainment.

He wanted to change his life. Away from all the drama, away from Jongin and a new environment can satisfy all of that.

Pagkatapos mag-ayos. Umalis na agad sila para pumunta sa building ng SM Entertainment.

"Kailangan ba talagang flaming red yang buhok mo?"

"It's for a change." Hinawi nya ang kulay pulang buhok. He needed change, so bad. He wanted to look rebellious enough para magmuka namang totoo lahat ng sinasabi sakanya ng mga tao.

That he's a spawn of a satan. Thank you very much.

"Hindi ba masyadong intimidating yang hair color mo?"

"Iyon naman talaga ang goal. To looked intimidating."

Tinignan ulit sya ng manager bago ibalik ang tingin sa daan.

"Pero hindi iyan ang kilala nilang D.O, D.O is as sweet as his voice."

"He's dead." (LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO. LOL. XD TAY IS HAUNTING ME. BYE.)

Matagal na.

Simula ng mawala si Chanyeol. Simula ng mawala si Jongin. Simula ng talikuran sya ng mga tao sa paligid nya.

"Buti sana kung hindi shaved yang mga gilid ng buhok mo. You used to have black long hair."

Now he hated it. That Kyungsoo. Yung nag-tatago sa likod ng maskara na yon. Pinandidirihan nya na ang Kyungsoo na yon. Yung maraming kaibigan pero walang matakbuhan kung hindi si Jongin.

Si Chanyeol? Si Chanyeol. Kasangga nya lagi si Chanyeol. Naiintindihan sya nito, he knew about the cuts, he knew about the tears, at nagpapasalamat sya dahil kahit na pinag aawayan sya ni Chanyeol at Baekhyun, hindi sinasabi ni Chanyeol sa boyfriend ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit hindi sya maiwan nito.

It was those scars. It was those nights when he suddenly wanted to get revenge to all of the people who treated him like trash. It was those painful nights enough for him to scream his lungs out because it's too painful.

Sobrang sakit.

Hindi nya kaya ng magisa. Kaya ng nawala na si Chanyeol ng tuluyan sakanya, he was back to cutting his previous scars into fresh wounds.

It was a fleeting feeling.

His skin deteriorating with every paint of red, it was so fulfilling.

"We're here."

Mabilis syang bumaba sa kotse at naglakad papasok ng building kasunod ng manager nyang si Kim Jongdae.

For others, it might just be another day like yesterday, but for him it is a new life.

Finally.

Pagpasok sa conference room. Nakipagkamay sakanya ang management at ang CEO ng kompanya. Kilalang kilala nya ang matandang ito. Lee Soo Man.

The old man even called him personally to sign a contract for him.

"Good morning sir."

"Nice meeting you Do Kyungsoo. Call me Teacher Lee Soo Man."

Tumango sya saka sila pinaupo sa mga bangkuan. People inside started giving hin papers, folder, pen, water and even a plate of fresh cut fruits. The executive supervisor started explaining to him the pros of signing a contract in SM.

Tapos marami pang explanation including, terms and agreements, policies,salary, project proposals at marami pang benefits na makukuha nya sa kompanya na naka-state sa kontrata nya. After explaining the contract, he signed the papers.

"We're done. Welcome to the label." Sabi ni Lee Soo Man.

"Thank you sir."

Dinismiss na ang meeting pero bigla ulit silang tinawag ng CEO.

"Schedule me a presscon tomorrow. I will introduce to them a new family member of SMTown."

"Pero sir-" pinutol ng CEO ang sasabihin nya ng tawa nito.

"Trust me, I can make you a brand and a business."

Trust.

For a new life?

He's willing to die searching for it, it's just trust, no harm intended.

"Fine. Make me your brand and your business."

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sehubo