Too stunned to speak you held onto the edge of the table for dear life. Kyle's lips were on yours, warm and even softer than you could have imagined.

His tongue was still warm from the tea, carrying an earthy flavour of the leaves mixed with the sweetness of sugar he'd put into it.

With his eyes tightly shut he leaned further into the kiss, his hands reached up to grab your face. It was a gentle touch, the kind that only a loved one could have.

Confused, your eyes wandered over his face, your lips moved against his as he let out a long, shaky breath. Hesitation tied your throat, made you swallow hard.

Then, all of a sudden, he pulled away with a deep exhale. His eyes opened and a hint of warmth shimmered in the brown. But it was tinged by something else.

Was that regret?

Swallowing hard, he curled his lips, the tip of his tongue peaking out to collect all the flavours of you that were still stuck to the shimmering flesh.

Your eyes followed the movement and, embarrassingly enough, it made heat chase through the pit of your stomach. Your dick flinched.

Gritting your teeth, you dug your nails into the table and fought down the sensation of a boner that slowly started to grow. This was not the place nor the time.

"I'm sorry.", his words cut through the fog of your thoughts like a hot knife through flesh.

With a gasp, you tore your head up to meet his gaze. It felt like flames danced on your cheeks, made your breath hitch and your entire body tremble.

"I...", confused, you frowned and shook your head. "I don't... what..?"

His gaze lowered.

"I'm sorry.", he repeated, visibly ashamed. "I didn't... I mean... I just needed to figure something out."

He turned on his heel, ready to bolt through the door as you grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him close again. Struck by the force, he stumbled back, right into your arms.

Your hands rose to grab his face, squeeze it in a way that was almost painful. Frozen in surprise he stared at you. Anger and frustration mixed on your (S/C) face.

Your breath was heavy and your heart beat faster than you thought was healthy.

"What the hell, Kyle?", it blurted out of you. "Why would you do that? You can't just go round smoothing people."

For a painfully long moment he stared at you. Then his eyes moved away, avoiding you once more. He struggled with the truth for a moment before a sigh made his nostrils inflate.

"I just needed to figure out what I was feeling.", he admitted.

Confused, you frowned and shook your head.

"I thought you were straight!"

"Me too.", he huffed sourly. "But... things kinda changed? I don't know how to describe it."

Speechless, you threw your hands into the air.

"I'm not your test subject!", you gasped. "You can't just kiss me and figure out if you're gay!"

"Well I'm not.", his eyebrows drew together. "At least I don't think so."

"And you still kissed me? Honestly, fuck you, Kyle. That's such a dick move."

He hesitated for another second, eyed your expression and then liften one eyebrow.

"Are you upset that I kissed you?", he then asked. "Or are you upset that I'm not gay?"

You froze.

If you were completely honest with yourself you weren't sure. But somehow both felt kinda right.

You hated him for that kiss because it had felt better than all the fantasies that had plagued you for the past weeks. It has chased warmth through your body, had made you feel all giddy.

Then again, if he wasn't into men that didn't help either of you.

"I...", you frowned, thought. "Listen, I like you, Kyle. I always did. And I'd be delighted if you were to turn out gay and maybe able to consider me a partner. But you can't just force a kiss on me and leave scattered hope."

All at once frustration made your eyes fill with tears. You hated him for taking away the hope that there could have been something between the two of you.

And you hated him even more for using you the way he did. It made you feel like you weren't enough. No lagged what you could try, how many times you'd allow him to kiss you, you'd never be what he wanted.

Because Kyle was a man who loved women. He himself had just confirmed that.

Wrapped in silence, he looked at you. All the voices in your head screamed at him to say something, anything. Whatever it was you just wanted him to make a sound.

Hell, at this point you'd be fine if he beat the shit out of you for the confession.

"Can you let me talk?", he finally asked with one eyebrow raised.

Groaning in frustration, you shrugged.

"Stage is all yours.", you hissed.

He swallowed. And then smiled softly.

"I'm not gay. At least I don't think I am. I look at men and feel... not much. Some are handsome, sure but that doesn't mean I wanna... you know.", his eyes fell shut for a second as he took a deep breath. "But... we've spent so much time together and it felt... so good. I never felt this way before. Not with a guy."

Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you eyed him with a bitter expression.

"So what now?", you asked.

Visibly embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled.

"I thought I was going crazy or some.", he admitted. "But I feel good whenever you're around. Way too good to just be... you. I mean... sorry that was worded poorly."

"Hell it was.", one of your eyebrows lifted in a sarcastic manner.

"Bloody hell! What I'm trying to say is I don't care for men but I care for you. And, frankly, I don't care for the fact that you are a man. I just... want to kiss you and fall asleep next to you and... maybe raise the boys?", all of a sudden his eyes softened and he looked like a lost puppy out in the rain. "If... you'll have me."