WARNING: This chapter contains thoughts and actions of suicide, self-harm, and touches upon multiple mental disorders. IT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME. If you are not comfortable with such topics, please, DO NOT READ! Thank you!

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You were falling. Lower, and lower. It was unusual to feel this way, like there was nothing you could do to catch yourself, but you couldn't stop it.

You were insane.

Kuroko Tetsuya had been your crush for a long time. You had known him since you were a baby, as you were next door neighbors.

But you knew he didn't feel the same. Why would he like you? You were nothing short of a monster.

You feared everything and everyone, except Kuroko. Anxiety.

You were bouncing off the walls hyper, and your attention could change in seconds. ADHD.

You hated yourself, wanted to die. You cut, just to feel the pain that would end the numbness in your chest. Depression.

You talked to yourself. All the time. You saw things no one else could, and heard things that were never there. Schizophrenia.

You would tic, like a clock, fingers tapping, legs shaking. The twitching wouldn't stop. Tourette's Syndrome.

Your moods switched, faster than lightning, from depressive lows to manic highs. Bipolar Disorder.

There were so many things wrong with you and your mind. Why the hell weren't you in a mental hospital?!

And yet, despite your insanity, Kuroko stayed with you. Stayed by your side. But maybe that's because he's never seen the real you.

You hated it, hated yourself. And maybe that was just the depression talking, but you couldn't stand living anymore.

You weren't even going to write a letter to say goodbye. This was going to be the end. You were done.

But Kuroko noticed something was wrong. Something about you was off.

He walked home with you, your eyes dull, and steps slow like you were going to fall asleep right where you stood.

He didn't bid you a "farewell" or "see you tomorrow" like he usually did as you climbed up the stairs to your house.

No, he followed you in, watched you turn the corner into the kitchen, pull out the drawer with the knives.

He watched as you picked one up, examining whether or not the blade was good enough to be your end.

It was.

You placed the tip to your chest, ready to plunge it in and spill red through the room.

But Kuroko couldn't stay quiet forever.

"Stop!" His voice was unnaturally loud, and the knife slipped through your fingers, falling to the floor with a clatter.

Kuroko couldn't fathom why you would even consider such a thing! Weren't you happy?!

Kuroko grabbed your wrist, his pale, slender fingers holding your arm tighter than you ever thought he'd be able to.

He pushed you back against the counter, away from the knife on the floor, keeping you from moving.

"What are you doing?!" He demanded. "Did you seriously think that no one would care if you went through with this?!"

"K-Kuroko, I-!"

"Don't ever think people wouldn't miss you when you're gone! I'd miss you! Your friends would miss you! You're not alone, (Y/N)!" He cut you off.

"I..." You opened your mouth to reply, but no words came.

Kuroko was crying, and yelling, and angry, and sad, all at once. The betrayal he felt carved into every feature.

His eyebrows pinched together at the center of his forehead, voice high, loud, and shaky, tears spilling from blue eyes that held too many emotions to list.

He was upset.

"I knew you were feeling depressed, but I never considered this would happen," he sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize... God, I'm such a horrible friend... (Y/N), I'm sorry."

Shit, you made him feel guilty. Who really is the horrible friend here?

That's right, it's you.

"No, Kuroko, it's not your fault," you tried to comfort him, but he pulled away from you, rubbing his eyes.

Did you seriously just try that?

"Kuroko, I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. Don't cry, please. I shouldn't have tried this. It's my fault, so stop beating yourself up over it."

"(Y/N), I have to beat myself up over it. I didn't notice sooner, I'm sorry. It is my fault."

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him to your chest.

"Geez," you muttered, "I'm supposed to be the one who gets comforted. Why is it always the other way around."

He laughed, and you felt it against your chest.

"Sorry." It was breathless, and sincere, and for the wrong reason, but somehow, you didn't hate yourself as much anymore.

So, thank you, Kuroko. Thank you for everything.

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I just can't win anymore, can I? .-.

I just ran out of data in the middle of the month and my stepmother goes, "your sister, father, and I only share one gig of data and we still haven't run out!"

So I give her this, "really bitch?" look, because eVERYWHERE THEY GO, THEY HAVE WIFI CONNECTION, ESPECIALLY AT MY DAD'S HOUSE, WHERE AS THEY REFUSE TO GIVE ME THE FUCKING WIFI PASSWORD, SO YES, I AM GOING TO RUN OUT OF DATA, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Jesus Christ, my family is full of fucking idiots. //sighs//

Anyway, sorry I had to rant here. I just had to get that off my chest. .-.

I go back to school today, and will probably have to have another encounter with my bully! *Enter sarcastic "yayyyyyy" here*

Please wish me luck.

Even though my family said that if I ever got bullied again, and if it was really bad, they'd come pick me up from school, I'm still scared.

Like, really scared.

But anyway, I posted this in another book, but I've been really interested in mental disorders recently, especially because I have a lot myself, and wanna learn a bit more about me.

So I was thinking about writing about mental disorders, hoping it I'll help me get a better understanding of them.

So if you wouldn't mind helping me out, please comment a type of mental disorder and a character I should write the mental disorder for!

I'd really appreciate it, guys! And I'm sure it will help me get in control of the disorders I have right now!

So please help me out!

I love you guys! 💕 And I hope you continue to read my works through the ups and downs of my life and of my writing!

Geez, it sounds like I'm proposing, lol. Maybe I should marry my work?!

I mean, I have no one else, lol.

Sorry, that's not funny. ._.

Anyway, i fOUND A SPIDER ON ME HOLY SHIT.

Never mind, I killed it. Sorry, spider. //mourns//

ANYWAY. PLEASE HELP ME OUT, GUYS!

I love you all!

Teiko_Kuroko~<3