Victor rose from the portal, backpack digging into his shoulders, a coat and pair of blue boots hugged in his arms. Maureen and Dorian rose facing him, hands gripping suitcases with wheels rolling over nothing but deep violet blackness.

Victor swirled the portal closed, sighing and sinking against the back door of the Green's house. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Dante, then returned it to the backpack's side pocket.

Maureen lowered her hand, spring of spruce snapped from a tree outside the hotel. "A memento," she'd said, before Victor sunk them into the portal, the sky hissing misty specks of rain.

Dorian let go of his suitcase, turning a slow circle in the dark kitchen, refrigerator humming. "We forgot to take our shoes off before coming inside," he said.

"I could portal into the backyard," Victor said. Then grimaced, reconsidering. His headache pounded like someone had taken a rock to his temples. "Actually, no I couldn't."

Dorian slowly shook his head, "what I mean is, thank you. From the bottom of our hearts. It's quite mystifying that one moment I'm touching the wall of a hotel in Anchorage, Alaska and the very next I'm standing on my own kitchen tile in Jersey City."

Maureen patted his arm. "Humor helps us cope," she smiled wanly.

"Oh," Victor's eyebrows furrowed. "I see."

"Really, Victor. You've helped us have an amazing twentieth anniversary," Dorian blinked, eyes watery. "I never thought I'd get to see Tokyo in person."

"And the auroras," Maureen nodded. "Exquisite."

"You're welcome," Victor muttered.

"Now then," Dorian planted his hands on his hips. "Doreen!" he shouted.

"She's...at school," Victor frowned.

"Not if she's skipping class," Dorian broke into a smile. "Remember when she convinced us she was sick and we let her stay home?"

Maureen pursed her lips. "Which time?"

Dorian scratched his head. "I think she was in first grade. She was doing so well at faking it, until we told her we were having lunch together and there was peanut butter cake."

Maureen chuckled. "What was it you told her? You can't have peanut butter cake if you're just going to throw it up?"

Dorian laughed.

Victor tugged his phone out again. "I can text her and ask if she's at school."

The Greens fell silent. Victor glanced up, and they were both staring. At his phone.

"You--you have Doreen's phone number?" they stumbled over each other to get the words out.

"Yes...uh, superhero stuff..."

Maureen wiggled her eyebrows. "Have you asked her on a date yet?"

The pounding in Victor's head stopped, but only because all the blood drained from his face. "I wasn't ready for this," he winced.

The Greens exchanged glances.

"We're so sorry, we didn't mean to pressure you," Dorian rushed, "we only thought--"

"--when Doreen drove you here Friday evening you two seemed to get along so well--"

"--we worry about her sometimes, she hasn't had a normal high school experience like so many of her peers--"

"--we always tell her she's an amazing girl, her squirrel abilities are amazing, but we worry she misses out on so many teen experiences because of who she is--"

"--Doreen's wonderful and we don't want her to miss out--"

"We thought, there's a chance now that she's making friends who understand that part of her--"

"Dante's my boyfriend," Victor blurted into their tirade. They froze, mouths half-open. Victor grimaced. "So..." his headache pounded at his temples again, thoughts trying to catch up to anything the Greens had just said.

Maureen's mouth snapped shut.

"Oh," Dorian said.

Silence.

Victor's fingers itched to yank open the back door and flee, but his mind scrambled through the possibilities and knew the backyard was fenced in and he couldn't make a portal through his headache to save his life. Which meant the only exit was through the suitcase-blocked archway to the living room and out the front door to a street far away from anyone he knew. "I'm going to text Doreen and see if she's at lunch," he mumbled, staring down at his phone around the stuff in his arms.

"Victor," Maureen said slowly. "That's great!" she hesitated. "Dante's that other boy who played Scrabble with us, right?"

Victor glanced up, slowly nodding.

Maureen frowned, fingering her suitcase. "We googled months ago what to say to your teen when they come out, but none of those seem quite appropriate right now."

"Whoever our child brought home we would love as our own?" Dorian muttered.

"SG, you at lunch?" Victor texted.

"I love you and accept you always?" Dorian muttered, counting off on his fingers. "We appreciate that you came to us, we're here for anything you need to tell us?"

"Wait you thought Doreen..." Victor trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Well she certainly wasn't bringing any boys home!" Maureen exclaimed. "Why, I hoped if you asked her out, she'd figure out what she wanted!"

"We support you, what's the best way for us to help you right now?" Dorian hesitated over his fifth finger. "What was our fifth response?"

"The fifth one was 'don't scream that we sort of guessed it and we were right'," Maureen whispered.

"You memorized what to say?" Victor shook his head. "This is not...I didn't think this would happen like..."

"Certainly not what I expected either!" Maureen waved her hands about. "Forgive me, universe, for trying to set my daughter up on a date!"

Victor's phone buzzed. "Lunch in 2 minutes. U guys back from Alaska?"

"Yep. At your house."

"Sry, can't come home :( drama with popular girls"

"Okay. I'm too tired to portal so I'll probably stay here..."

"MM and I'll both come over after school"

"Ok"

"Victor," Dorian asked, sinking into a chair, "do you know if Doreen has gone on any dates?"

He frowned. "I don't...think so?"

"Is our daughter going to grow up into the neighborhood cat lady?" Dorian whispered.

Maureen dragged a chair beside him. "I think you mean squirrel lady," she patted his hand.

"Is it alright if I go outside?" Victor pointed to the door knob. "I...need some air."

Dorian sniffled. "I just don't want her to be alone and sad."

"I know, dear," Maureen leaned on his shoulder. "I know."

Victor bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably, then yanked the door open and fled down the steps.

***

Squirrel Girl: I cannot

Squirrel Girl: even 🤦‍♀️

Victor: I didn't even tell you everything that happened

SG: you said my parents said you should ask me on a date. I've had enough cringe and need no more

V: but there's more

SG: and I need no more

V: okay but maybe you should know they googled what to say if you came out

SG: hold on.

SG: what

SG: ??????????????????????????????????????

SG: wait I need to hear this

V: ok I guess

SG: screw the popular girls drama I'm coming home

V: what's the popular girls drama?

SG: not important, that's what

***

Victor: hey Dante we're leaving now

Victor: we got back from Alaska

Dante: yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed you a bajillion percent

V: I missed you a ton too

V: I think portal speed was like ten seconds

D: lol u at greens house?

V: yeah. Too tired to portal anymore so I'm in backyard listening to trees rattle in wind

D: Hey Ette was over there this morning. Digging holes for trees

V: [pits of dark soil in a pebble-lined flowerbed] found them:)

D: we're at park. Can we come over right now pls

V: yeah. SG's coming during lunch right now too

V: also, I told them you were my boyfriend. I...don't have words to explain how the conversation went after that.

D: ...was it good or bad?

V: I guess good? Dorian had to sit down because he's worried SG will now be alone forever

D: ? But she has friends! Us. Tippy Toe

V: I didn't know what to do with that so now I'm in backyard and my head hurts

D: oh my

D: go inside and tell them Squirrel Girl will find an amazing woman one day!

D: sry that was Ette

V: oh they brought that up

D: que? what?

V: SG coming out

D: are they prepared for squirrel girl coming out on the ace spectrum?

D: that was Ivy;;;ll;a

D: MM is token straight friend in this relationship

D: maybe we should tell her

D: Victor have any idea what ace even is?

V: I feel like you're not actually talking to me?

D: oh no Dante let us have his phone for three minutes so we'd stop bugging him after that but now it's four minutes because he took his phone back twice

D: we promised we wouldn't read his messages but we can spam you

D: squirrel

D: girl

D: is

D: totally

D: ace

D: maybe

V: you're making my head hurt worse

D: it's rude to guess people's orientation until they tell you

D: but like, sometimes it's gaydar and you totally call it

D: and we did ask if she wanted space to tell us anything

D: she said

D: blahblahblah

D: u thought of nothing better to send Victor than blah?

D: like u did btr with that message

V: 🤦‍♀️

D: she said I don't really know

D: saying "I knew you were X before you told me" is rude unless ur their parents, but we're not doing that, right? We'll be open whatever she tells us, obvs. Are we rude?

D: wam her parents didn't say that to her. did I miss something?

D: she'd have to come out first

D: ok so this is theoretical

D: ok I got bored of this

D: me too. Victor we're going to ride a bus now

D: to the greens house

D: see you later!

V: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️

***

"I'm tired," Victor muttered.

"That's rough, Victor. But I have to say...Kree Annihilators, reunite!" Doreen punched the air.

"So, we did that like five minutes ago," Ivy muttered, plucking leaves from her hair, sprawling across the stone path of the Green's backyard.

"But no one had made it official!" Doreen said.

"And we don't have Kamala here," Dante crossed his legs, "so it's still not official." His face kept flickering in and out of a smile, leaning against Victor's side.

"And you look like you haven't seen your bf in a decade," Ette stabbed the ground with a shovel taller than her by a head.

"No, I've just been stuck with you for four dreary days," Dante shot back.

"Three and a half."

Victor shut his eyes and sighed. "I missed you guys."

"Really?" Ivy asked. "That's shocking. We turned super annoying without you drill sergeanting us around during practice."

"Actually, Victor's a pretty nice instructor!" Ette said from the flower bed. "Way better than my old gym teacher."

"You may have turned annoying," Doreen planted her hands on her hips. "I stayed bright and chipper!"

"You made a horror movie," Ivy said.

"I made one scene of one horror movie!"

"This is nice," Victor sighed, the trees overhead rustling. "Going on vacation got sort of lonely."

"It'll only be nice for like two more minutes," Doreen tromped across the lawn to the door. "I have to go back to school," she hesitated, glancing back. "You guys good to walk back?"

"We can catch another bus," Dante said. "Carry unconscious Victor if we have to."

"How'd talking with your parents go?" Victor asked.

Squirrel Girl shrugged. "Awkward. But also funny. They aren't usually so...squirmy," she grimaced, shaking it off. "Back to school for me," she yanked open the door, muttering, "maybe I can make them act normal by threatening to do all their laundry..."

The door slammed shut, and Victor slowly drooped to his side in the grass. "Victor?" Dante asked.

"I'm unconscious," he mumbled. "You said you'd carry me if I was unconscious."

"But..."

"Have they paid you yet?" Ivy asked.

"No," Victor muttered.

"Then don't you need to--"

"Take a nap right now?"

 "I can get it," Ette said, voice dwindling as Victor drifted off.