Above, I have included a sketch page of an assortment of related sketches (some of them anyway) of Komisch for your viewing pleasure. If you like my art, feel free to follow me over on IG, where I am also called DreamStoryM

A reader (well they were once, but I take so long to update they might be long gone lol) who wishes to remain anonymous requested I write a Kooky x Reader lemon. I wasn't exactly sold on the idea because he's an asexual so it would be a little out of character (if you read my story, you'd also know he suffers from sexual trauma and I wasn't ready to write a scenario where he overcomes it and becomes sexually intimate), but I found a way to make it work. The following story is that solution. This is a long one (I think) so hopefully this makes up for my absence.

Also, Kooky and Komisch are the same person. I debated whether I would implement name changes over here in this book as well, since they signify that I'm breaking away from the Koopalings fandom (which I was never truly apart of in the first place but that's a story for another time) but I eventually decided to do so because everything you're about to read is my own creation. Komisch's appearance, personality, likes and dislikes, backstory, struggles, and this scenario are primarily my doing and have nothing at all to do with the Nintendo Koopalings. By this point, Komisch is so far removed from Nintendo's Kooky that I don't feel comfortable using that name for him anymore.

Sure, some of it may have been inspired by canon media, but honestly what isn't? Nothing is entirely original because art doesn't exist in a vacuum. And heck, I've already introduced the alters (which are completely OCs) to this book, so I've already personalized it to some degree. I don't know how far I'll go with this, but for now I know I want to represent my OC Komisch here instead of the canon Kooky from now on. For readers who don't really care, this doesn't actually change anything, his name is just different.

Alright y'all, you know the drill. Because of the subject matter, the lemon scene, and the fact that my audience is mostly female, the reader has female genitals. But I just wanna put this out there, FYI, that I'm not at all opposed to doing a mlm lemon, it's just no one's requested it yet lol. I'm honestly kind of nervous about doing that because I'm not a male, but then again I write about sex as an asexual who's never had sex and yall seem to get a kick out of that so who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️

Also, because of the context of the story, sometimes people address the reader with she/her pronouns instead of the gender neutral ones. However, when possible, I try to use gender neutral pronouns so everyone is hunky-dory and comfortable.

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you, so so much to all the people who still read this story and leave votes and comments and lots of love even though I suck at uploading in a timely manner! You guys make the writer's struggle worthwhile ❤

Oh, and if you enjoy the story don't forget to leave likes and comments! Now, word vomit aside, let's get into it!

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You hadn't really known what to expect when you were selected. You and the other girls were tested and examined, poked and prodded, interviewed and questioned. You were shocked when the staff announced that out of the 20 others girls, you'd been chosen for The Program.

You were required to leave them behind, and join a cohort of 3 other girls in a seperate part of the facility. You had never seen them before, but that made sense, for you hadn't left the Vampire division since arriving at The School.

The training had been...interesting. You all sat in a dark room, watching different videos on a bright screen. Some of them were very strange, some gross, some boring, and others strangely enjoyable and stimulating. Afterwards, the training became more tactile and "hands-on". You were taught to expect the pain, but you were also told of the pleasure. You were even given a chance to feel what it might be like for yourselves, to calm your nerves.

You don't believe it helped out all that much. As you sat on what was to be your marriage bed, your nerves were anything but calm. The room had a canopy bed, on which you sat, oil lamps on bedside tables, and other couches and things to make it feel more like a real bedroom. However, the high ceilings made you feel as if you were in a warehouse. On one of the walls, high up near the ceiling, there was a glass window where Staff could keep an eye on you and interfere if things got out of hand.

You wiped your clammy hands on your bare thighs. You didn't know why you were so nervous all of a sudden. You were prepared, you'd been trained....you wondered what would happen if you didn't like your mate. The males in the training videos had always been handsome and well-endowed, you'd never really taken into account that might not be the case for yours until you heard the other girls chatting about it. You did not join them as they designed their dream males on their papers. You'd seen enough movies to know if you wished for things too hard they wouldn't come true.

Instead, you'd opted to return to the Vampire division to see your friends. Many of them had questions about The Program, for they'd never done it before. They'd asked if you'd met your mate yet (you hadn't, the staff said "he wasn't ready yet", as if he were some sort of pie in the oven. If he really was a pie, you'd rather eat him than make children with him, if you were being completely honest).

All except Aliah. She was one of the few who'd gone through The Program before; she already knew everything there was to know. You'd tried to appear happy when you spoke to her about it.

"It should've been you," You'd told her. She wanted it the most. She'd wanted the chance to start anew, after the miscarriage.

"How do you feel?" She'd asked, not wanting to dwell on what things could have been.

"I'm quite honestly [scared/excited/nervous/all of the above/other]." You admitted. It was all just so surreal. You'd never thought you would've been selected.

"It's just..."

"Hmm?"

"What would happen...if I didn't like my mate? What if he doesn't have big muscles and a taut buttocks like the males in the training videos? What if he's gross? What if he's too gassy? What if he's ugly? What if he has smelly feet? What if he's mean? What if he hurts me? What if he doesn't clip his toenails, so when we sleep together his talons scratch up my legs?"

Aliah had laughed but then shrugged, as if there would be nothing you could do if that became your reality. But then she'd said, "Well, what if he's clean and every bit as muscular and well-endowed as the men in the videos? In fact, what if he were the most beautiful male you had ever seen? What if he smells like the sweetest thing you'd ever smelled? What if he were the nicest man you've ever met, and he treats you like a Queen. What if his toenails are perfectly manicured?"

You'd smiled, beginning to feel better and more excited already. "There's a chance your mate is every bit as nervous as you are right now. Perhaps you can work it out together when you meet." Aliah had suggested.

"Yes, perhaps...."

"Is there...something else?" Aliah had probed.

"This is not really the direction I saw life going." You'd admitted. "I wanted to travel, see how much the outside world has changed since I've seen it."

"I suppose it is a nice idea," Aliah had agreed, "but The School is the safest place you'll ever know, why would you want to go out there? Even the sun's rays are enough to kill our kind. They're quite hard to escape in the outside world."

You'd shuddered and agreed.

You'd tried to find solace in Aliah's words. Perhaps you were over thinking things. Perhaps he was as nervous as you were. Perhaps he was cute. You took a sip from the glass of blood the staff had provided, careful not to spill it on your nightgown. They'd provided you with a new one, just for this occasion. They'd also give you something called a "thong" to wear, for they claimed it would be a pleasant surprise for your mate. There was so little fabric, you wondered what was even the point of wearing undergarments at all. You wondered what would happen if it was an unpleasant surprise. Would that make him want to stop? You supposed that could be a good or a bad thing, depending on how the night went.

You heard the shick of the bedroom doors opening and your heartbeat zoomed into overdrive. Your thoughts flew by a mile a minute, trying to remember everything you'd learned. Don't make eye contact, let him lead, do what he says, appear shy and delicate, almost sickly.

Someone burst through the door, pushed by two of the staff members. He rolled in a matter that should've broken his neck. You wondered if he was dead. You wondered what would happen if he was. Would that just be the end? The slender man rose to his feet as the door slammed behind him. He banged and scratched, but it did not open again. You saw the staff members take their seats in front of the observation window near the top of the room.

He eventually stopped all the racket and turned to look at you, as if just noticing you for the first time. He exhaled so strongly you were sure you saw steam rise from his nostrils. He crept slowly into the candlelight, maneuvering in a low crouch on his hands and feet. His dark eyes stared at you, and your [eye clr] eyes stared back. You wondered if this was it.

Without another word, he jumped on the bed, ruining the freshly pressed sheets. You scooted away until you felt your back meet the headboard.

In the videos, this was usually the part where he greeted you, told you his name, and how nervous he was and you would agree. But none of that happened. You weren't sure what you expected. They'd told you your mate wasn't from around here, and that they'd found him in the woods. You knew he would be ill-bred and without noble birth. You'd been afraid that they'd sent a crazy jungle man to attack you, but they assured you you were 100% safe. You guessed that was pretty easy to claim when they were the ones in the fortified viewing area.

He began sniffing at you and sniffing you some more. As he sniffed your neck, he'd gotten so close you noticed he had a little device resting on his ear. You wanted to ask him about it, but you weren't even sure he could talk. He stopped sniffing. He pressed his ear against your chest, as if he were listening to your heart beat.

You pushed him away angrily, hopped out of bed, and stepped out of arm's reach. "This isn't how it's supposed to go!" You shouted at him, though you doubted he understood. They were supposed to bring you a mate, not a savage. He hadn't even told you his name! You doubted he even could!

He tried to get close. "No, get back!" You warned him sternly.

He scurried closer a little quicker so you took off. He chased you as you ran around the room, bouncing off the walls and nipping at your nightgown.

You were in such distress you hadn't noticed one of the staff members enter until you smacked into him. He held you steady as two other staff members held your mate back.

"Is this part of the mating ritual?" The Staff member asked.

You glanced back at the creature as the staff member led you back to bed. "I honestly have no clue."

"Calm down, you're shaking." The staff member said.

You could, now that the beast was nowhere near you. "Thank you--"

The staff member clamped a handcuff that was attached to one of posts of the bed onto your wrist. "Wha--"

"We can't have you running away from your mate."

"But--"

"Follow. His. Lead." He reminded you harshly, his tone serious and void of any compassion or care for you.

"Wait!--"

The staff members left you alone without another word. The savage licked his lips and trotted over to you, perhaps pleased that you now had nowhere to run.

You wanted to cry. You tried to pull away, your chain jangling and clinking. He winced; it seemed your racket kept him at bay....at least for a little while.

He pressed on, leaping onto the bed again. This time he turned away from you, but you wished he wouldn't, for all he seemed to be wearing was a shorter, less-lacy version of your nightgown, and you were scared of seeing something that would scar you for life. His jaws readied themselves near your calf.

"What are you doing?" One of the staff members inquired through the loud microphone in the observation window.

"Getting ready to eat my dinner." He answered nonchalantly. You were shocked the scrawny savage could even speak.

"No, you're supposed to mate with them--not eat them."

He frowned, glancing back at you. "I'm supposed to mate...with that?"

You scoffed, too stunned to speak. Who did this twig of a barbarian (who was hardly a super model himself) think he was, talking to you like that?

"Yes, yes you are." The staff member replied bluntly.

The beast leaped off the bed and went to lie on the carved mahogany empire sofa. He didn't deserve to lounge on such a nice sofa. "Eh...I don't really feel like it." He groused.

You were still too stunned to speak. This was not how things were supposed to go! Hadn't he undertaken the same training you had? Had you done something wrong? Perhaps if you had just submissively followed his lead...

"What's wrong? Is the female not to your liking?" The Staff member asked.

The beast shrugged, poking a claw into the couch cushion. He had only been there for a few minutes and he was already ruining everything.

"We have other females that may suit you better, if you'd like. Such as V40-004. She has larger breasts than 018, if that's what you'd prefer." The observer offered. It was true, you were sure Aliah had the biggest breasts out of all the female vampires. Not that you'd been paying attention or anything.

The savage's dark, beady little eyes flitted to the door from which he'd come. "Bring her in, and let me see her."

You were still frozen, your mouth wide in shock. Was it normal to be rejected by your mate? But you'd done everything right....mostly.

"[Y/N]?" Aliah said as she walked in. She looked as if she wanted to ask what was going on, but the beast abruptly shoved her aside and pushed past the staff member in the doorway. The employee turned tail and ran after him, leaving the door wide open.

Your heart raced. This was your chance. You tugged on the chain that bound you but to no avail. You pulled and pulled but nothing changed. The jailbreak alarms began to blare.

Beads of sweat moistened your forehead. "Come on, come on..." You muttered. You knew you would never have a chance like this again.

Finally, you tugged with all your might. You heard the loud snap of your wrist bones. It was broken, but you were free. You flew out of bed and bolted across the room.

"[Y/N]?" Aliah gasped, looking as if you had betrayed her. You wanted to make her understand, but there was no time.

"Goodbye, sister." You told her softly and took off down the hall.

You were initially worried you wouldn't be able to find your way out, but all you had to do was follow the loud commotion. You ran like the wind, miraculously bypassing all of the guards.

When you finally made it to the exit, you entered into the dark of night. The lights from the building seemed to be the only sources of illumination for miles, though with your superior night vision, you didn't really need them. A gentle breeze tousled your hair. The air was so cool and so fresh. You couldn't remember the last time you smelled air like that. The full moon was bright and beautiful, and stars looked down on you from the sky. You could feel the hard, cold pavement through the socks on your feet.

"Hey!" You heard a man's voice bark. "Another one got out over here!"

You gasped and took off in a random direction. You ran into the shelter of the nearby woods. You felt your foot land in something wet but you didn't have time to stop and gag. Out of nowhere, the ground ended and you tumbled into a dark pit below a ledge.

A calloused hand covered your mouth and silenced your screams.

It was the savage, but you knew better than to thrash and fight him and give away your hiding spot. You could hear him breathe softly as you watched the guards' flashlights flood the tree tops with light. You closed your eyes, waiting for them to pass.

You felt a dry, smooth touch on your shin. You wondered why he was touching you now, if only he'd had this enthusiasm earlier, you wouldn't be in this mess. You opened your eyes to see a snake slithering across your bare ankles. You shrieked and kicked the slimy beast away.

"Hey! I hear them over here!" One of the guards announced.

The savage cursed under his breath and made a run for it as the guards traversed down the ledge. Unsure of what to do, you ran after him, your body still sore after your fall. You had no idea where he was leading you but you ran and ran. You figured the dirty backwoods was his home, surely he knew the way. Your lungs burned and your legs felt as if they couldn't possibly take another step, but you kept going. And so did the guards.

They didn't stop until the two of you found yourselves in a strange clearing. There were sandy paths lined with wooden fences. Ropes hung taut between the trees. There were little houses and buildings placed sporadically. A parade of multicolored umbrellas floated above you.

"Where....are we?" You whispered, but the backwoods beast didn't answer. As he walked in front of you, you were sure you could see the blue hairs on the nape of his neck were longer and fluffier than they should have been, as they trailed down into the collar of his shirt.

You came upon a large vehicle parked in a clearing. There were black and red streaks painted on its exterior, along with the word Adventurer.

He knocked on the door. You heard shuffling from the inside. You heard a click, and the door swung open.

You tried to follow him inside but he pushed you back. "What do you think you're doing?"

You stood there like a doe in headlights, wondering the very same thing. What did you think you were doing following this stranger to who knew where?

"I-I wanted to come with you." You managed to squeak.

"Why? I don't know you and you don't know me. Your squaking almost got us caught back there! I don't know what kind of person you take me for, but I'm a vampire, not a babysitter." He retorted harshly.

Your face contorted into a grimace. How dare this disrespectful heathen believe he is worthy of claiming to be a part of the Vampire race.

You regained your graceful poise, not wanting to stoop to his level and get all the frown lines he had. "Well, I am a vampire as well. An esteemed member of the wellbred house of [L/N]---"

He scoffed. "Ha! More like inbred."

"...And I would would love nothing more than to return to them." You continued, not letting his disrespect faze you.

His frown softened into what seemed to be mild interest. No matter how much you loathed the fellow, you knew you hardly stood a chance out here without him.

The corners of his lips lifted into a malevolent smirk. He leaned in close. "Well, you better get going then, huh, little missy?" He whispered condescendingly.

He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Out here, you're either an asset or a liability. How will you be of any use to me?"

His haughty demeanor made you want to scream, but you had to stay in his good favor. You chewed your lip as you waited for the words to come.

"The house of [L/N] is a rich one. I was taken from my coven when I was young, and I'm sure my parents miss me quite a bit. If you could be so kind as to return me to them--safe and sound--I'm sure my parents could afford to reward you with a handsome reward of your choosing." You weren't sure if any of that was true. There was a chance that your parents wouldn't even care enough to offer the beast anything. But you wanted to believe it, and you hoped he would too.

After musing it over, he said, "Alright. You have a deal, but you follow my rules do whatever I say, got it?"

You nodded reluctantly, hoping you wouldn't regret this.

He narrowed his eyes at you before walking inside.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked when you remained at the door.

"I must be formally invited inside before I may enter." You explained.

"Is that a vampire thing? I think I read that in a book once."

You shook your head. "No, it's simply impolite to intrude on another's property."

"Okay....come in?" He said awkwardly. You nodded, satisfied, and lifted the hem of your gown before climbing the steps.

"The place is a little messy. I've never had visitors before." He warned.

Upon seeing the space, you were shocked. It was as if he'd taken a house and removed the most essential parts and shoved them inside a vehicle.

"Your automobile looks like a tiny house." You said.

"It is my tiny house....on wheels. It's called an RV." He explained.

You sat down on one of the benches (the design on the backrest reminded you of dingy peacock feathers) at a small marble table. A small furry black creature approached you tentatively. Its large round, orange eyes stared at you, and its tail swayed expectantly.

"Aww," You cooed, reaching down to pet it. The creature brushed against your hand, sending a hot flash of pain up your arm. You cried out in agony, remembering your broken wrist. It seemed now that all the adrenaline had worn off, your body remembered it was in pain.

"What is it now?" The blue-haired beast grumbled.

"I injured my poor wrist while I was wiggling my way out of that silly old handcuff." You reported.

"Let me see." He offered, taking your wrist before you could protest. He applied pressure with his calloused thumb, and you jerked away, wincing.

"You've done more than enough; you're the one who did this to me!" You cried.

"I wasn't the one who chained you up--the Staff did!" He cried back.

"Well, they never would've done it if you didn't chase me around like a four-legged madman! Why would you do a silly old thing like that anyway?"

He didn't answer as he reached into an overhead compartment above the table. He retrieved a thick book, whose dust particles fluttered throughout the space when he blew on its cover. He set it down on the white marble table. He forced it open and flipped through its delicate pages.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Your parents likely wouldn't care for damaged goods. Besides, an injured calf is a dead one out here." He said as he slid onto the bench across from you.

"Give me your wrist."

You didn't really want to, but you agreed you would do what he said. He slipped on a pair of dark glasses and began massaging your wrist. You yelped and tried to pull away but he held you steady and told you to stop. You bit your lip, and tried not to cry.

"There she is..." He muttered with a smirk.

He held one of his hands up, the tip of his weathered index finger bathing the room in soft blue light. You marveled at its blazing beauty, but you were reminded of that scene in ET, and you snickered.

He tapped his glowing fingertip to your wrist. A sharp heat surged through your bones. You whimpered through the pain, but it subsided as quickly as it began.

"There. Good as new." He said.

You carefully palpated your wrist, flexing it and extending it. It no longer hurt at all, as if it had never been broken.

"Wha...how...?" Yep, just like that ET movie.

"It's just a beginner os reparandi spell you'd learn in a beginner Vitamancy course." He explained nonchalantly. As he returned the book to its hiding place, you just barely caught a glimpse of the cover: Advanced Vitamin-C for the Advanced Magic User.

Back home in Transylvania, you didn't really have anything like that. You knew some of your ancestors were powerful sorcerers and enchantresses, but now the magic-users were few and far between. The doctors you had were sent to learn the mysteries of medicine among the humans, then return to the coven to serve its inhabitants. But you hadn't always needed doctors either.

He wiped his hands on his nightgown. "We better get going....where do your parents live, exactly?"

You thought for a moment, as you realized you didn't actually know. But you were worried that if you didn't answer, he'd put you out.

"They live in Transylvania." You said, which wasn't technically a lie.

He glared at you as if you were stupid. "Where in Transylvania?"

"I remember living in a forest, but my parents' estate likely wouldn't show up on any map. The manor is supposed to remain hidden from mortals." You said.

"I see." He hummed as he began to scroll on his cellular device. "Transylvania doesn't seem to be too far from here, according to the GPS."

"Stay in your seat and put on your seatbelt." He ordered.

"Seatbelt?"

Annoyed by your ignorance, he fastened it for you, which hurt a little because he didn't do it gently.

"Don't touch anything." He commanded, before disappearing through a curtain in front of a low opening. The black creature slipped through after him.

There was a loud roar, and the house began to move! You yelped instinctively, but tried not to panic--he'd told you his house was on wheels. You'd seen videos of cars and other vehicles. In those videos the people looked happy, so they couldn't be too dangerous.

You sat in the dark quietly for a while, twiddling your thumbs. You wished he'd left his Vitamin-C book out, for even though you couldn't do magic you would at least have something to read. On the wall next to the table, there was another beige curtain. You pulled it aside, eager to see another secret passageway like the one he'd disappeared through. Instead, there was a glass window, but what lay behind it was the real prize.

You saw houses, trees, and shops breeze by, things you'd seen in films and TV. You flew over water so dark you couldn't be certain it wasn't just a hole. Suddenly, the house was filled with the melody of a piano. You recognized the tune: Chopin's "Nocturne No.1 in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No. 1". It reminded you of home. When you were younger, the older vampires would take turns entertaining the coven at meal times with piano serenades. You would dance to classical music at the moonlight balls.

Home. You couldn't believe you were finally going home again. You couldn't wait to see everyone! Perhaps, if the furry beast was cultured enough to have access to such elegant music, he wasn't so bad after all.

When you slid the window to the side an inch, you could feel the cool wind whip at your hand.

Soon the house was filled with the tantalizing aroma of some sort of foodstuffs somewhere outside. Your tummy growled hangrily. You didn't want him to get annoyed with you, so you sat there silently and patiently. But the hunger grew until the growls became too loud to ignore.

"Hey!" You shouted, hoping he'd understand you were talking to him (you realized you still didn't know his real name, and he probably didn't know yours, not that he even bothered to inquire) but you got no response. You fiddled with your seatbelt until it unbuckled and wobbled over to the curtain he and his little beast had disappeared through.

"Pardon me--"

"HEY! Why are you up here? I told you to stay in your seat!" He shouted.

You paused, stunned. Just when you'd begun to see him as somewhat civilized, he didn't take long to return to his monstrous nature.

You bit your lip. "I've only come to tell you that I'm starving."

"No you're not, you're just hungry."

"What's the difference, exactly?" You asked, annoyed.

"I wouldn't expect a priss like you to understand. Now, go sit back down and do as you're told."

When you returned to the table, you pressed your face into the bench cushion and screamed. After you released your anger, you stopped because it smelled like ass, which made you visualize his ass being in your face, and you didn't wanna think about that anymore. You plopped your butt down on the seat just as the vehicle came to a halt. You lurched forward, the table stabbing your stomach without the seat belt to hold you back.

He must've heard you cry out, because he said, "I told you to wear a seat belt," when he ducked back into the house.

"Stay here." He said as he started to open the door.

"Wh-where are you off to?" You questioned nervously.

"To get some food? I thought you were hungry."

"I am, but...don't you have anything to eat in here?"

"No. I made sure to eat all the food so it wouldn't spoil while I was away. The little food I left was eaten by Beethoven."

"Who's Beethoven?"

"My partner in crime~!" He replied as the black creature in question affectionately brushed up against his hairy leg.

"So that's why he's so fat...."

"Hey! I don't come into your house and body shame you! And he's not fat! The vet said he's just fine!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry! I...just don't want you to leave me all alone...."

"...Why?"

"I've never really been left alone before. I've always shared a room with other vampires at The School. Even when I was alone, I was never really alone, because they had eyes everywhere--sometimes visible, sometimes non. Even back in Transylvania, I vaguely remember always having a chaperone, either a parent or older family member....Wh-what if any beasts try to get in at me? How will I ever defend myself?!"

"The door will remain locked. At least it will if you actually obey and refrain from opening the door." He replied, seemingly making light of your feelings.

In a last ditch effort, you tried to hug his arm (you used to do it to Aliah all the time to get her to do what you wanted) but he yanked his arm away from you with a shout. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

You stared at him as he clutched his arm, eyes wide as pewter plates.

"Rule number one: keep your grimy mits to yourself." He huffed.

"I-I'm sorry...." You stammered, your eyes glued to the floor. You were sure your face had reddened with hot shame.

"UGH! FINE! You can come, but only because I don't want your mits poking around in my stuff! Just...stay out of my way!" He ordered and barged through the door. You followed him out, trying to avoid getting too close.

"Beethoven, hold down the fort." He said, and the cat saluted him!

He stopped walking and you heard him sniff at the still air.

"What....are you doing?" You asked meekly.

He didn't answer--what else was new? Instead, his face contorted into an open-mouth grimace. His fangs flashed in the moonlight and his long, pink tongue hung out, like a pink, revolting red carpet.

He stayed like that before whispering, "Fire."

You sniffed the air. "I don't smell any smoke."

"Of course you don't." He remarked as he began walking again.

You followed him through the undergrowth, even though you were beginning to tire of his rudeness.

Suddenly, you noticed light in the distance. The beast lowered himself to a crouch and you followed his lead. He crept closer, seemingly under the spell of the fire in the center of a traveler's campsite. Your foot slipped and you heard the snap of a twig.

Everyone froze.

The traveler turned around in your direction, and you hoped the dark of night and the thick bushes would be enough to conceal the two of you. Your heart pounded in your ears. You knew the beast was probably mad at you (those little nape hairs of his were standing up) but he knew better than to shout and give away his hiding spot.

The traveler must've been an anxious fellow, for he was shaking like a leaf. He let his fear get the best of him, and started in your direction to check out the noise. You looked at the beast, wondering what to do but not daring to ask. He readied himself, his legs trembling with anticipation.

He leaped out of the brush, and soon he and the traveler were wrestling in the dirt. Eventually, he was on top of the traveler's body, the side of his face illuminated by the full moon. He ducked his head and you heard a loud crack and the wet squelch of blood.

But now the traveler was quiet, and the beast's pants occupied the space his screams had taken mere seconds before.

"I-Is he dead?" You stammered quietly.

"Dead as dust." The murderer replied.

You looked at the traveler's face illuminated by his campfire. You wondered what he had been doing out here. Did he live here? Did he too have a home on wheels? Did he have family and friends awaiting a return that would never come?

The beast crawled off of the body and looked up at you. "Have you ever tasted human before?"

"Y-yes, though never like this." You stuttered.

At The School, they'd always served you your blood in fancy glasses or bottles. It had been the same way in Transylvania. You'd never seen or thought about where it came from.

He gestured toward the body. "Well, go on. You can have the honor of the first bite."

"I-I don't believe I know how--"

"You've got fangs--use 'em."

You sank to the ground beside him. You could feel the cold rocks of the earth digging into the delicate skin of your knees. You leaned down, unsure of where to make a mark. You opted for the neck, where the monster had already made messy incisions when he took the man's life.

You licked at the red liquid hesitantly.

"It's okay." The beast whispered to you, "The first time is always the hardest, but it gets easier as one goes."

You positioned your jaws around the man's throat. Your sharp fangs penetrated his flesh, the sound reminiscent of a bite into a juicy red apple.

You'd never tasted blood so warm and so fresh. It was supple, yet delicate. His fruity taste was reminiscent of sweet cherries and sour plums. You moaned and sucked voraciously.

The beast seemingly took this as his cue to feed, for he lifted the cadaver's wrist to his lips and tore off a chunk of muscle and tissue.

You drank until you were full. You licked the excess blood that framed your mouth and a quiet burp escaped your lips.

"Excuse me..." You apologized sheepishly.

"Well, it sounds like someone enjoyed themselves." He commented.

"Yes, thank you." You replied tersely.

The color had now drained from the corpse's face. The flesh of its arm had been torn away and all that remained was clean bone. You tried to avoid looking into its lifeless eyes.

"I don't believe I've ever tasted anything quite like that before." You admitted, "It was...invigorating! Very different from the kind I'd had at The School or Transylvania."

"That's because blood tastes better when it comes from the source. Everyone knows that." He said.

"I didn't know that..." You said timidly.

He stood and brushed himself off. "I know you didn't, but you're learning. Come on, it's time to head back."

By the time you returned, you were exhausted. He pushed down the marble table, folded in the benches, and pulled out a pillow and some blankets, transforming what had once been a dining area into a bed.

You'd had better sleeping arrangements back at The School, but you were too tired to complain. Once you hit the pillow, you were out.

***

When you awoke, your muscles were still sore from your adventure and your saliva had crusted onto your pillow.

You hoped the beast hadn't seen you sleeping in such an undignified fashion, but then again, what did he know about dignity? You were surprised he didn't sleep in a doggy bed.

You gingerly sat yourself upright. The house was brighter now, so it must've been day time. It seemed the beast had wandered off as well. All the windows had shades over them, so you couldn't see if he was outside or not.

When you tried to push the shade aside, a sunbeam seeped into the room. The white hot, scalding pain made you yelp and shrink away from the murderous window. You looked at the burn on your arm. It wasn't bad, but you were tiptoeing into liability territory again. You hoped he wouldn't get mad at you.

Thankfully, he returned, wearing clothes that were different from what he wore the night before. He also has weird spots all over his skin. It made you a little self-conscious about wearing the same nightgown.

You yelped. "Close the door! Quickly!"

"Oh right. I forgot about the whole sunlight thing." He swung the door closed. "How have you guys even survived this long with such a huge achilles' heel?"

"In Transylvania, I lived in a forest where the trees were so tall, they blocked out the sun and made it appear as if it were night all the time. And at The School, there were no windows."

He sighed. "You're tip-toeing into liability territory."

"Yes, I know."

The look on his face told you he wasn't expecting you to agree. His eyes drifted to your arm. "It only seems to be a first degree burn, you'll live. However, I don't think your parents would pay me much money if I returned you burnt to a crisp."

"W-wait!" You urged when he began to remove his oversized hoodie. You didn't want to see all that. But you noticed he was actually wearing a black shirt underneath.

"What?" He asked.

"N-nothing."

He rolled his eyes and pulled the hoodie over his head, and handed it to you. You slipped it on. It was way too big, but that didn't surprise you because it was oversized on him too. It was warm, and it smelled like he had been sweating in it. It was gross, but you didn't want to make him mad by complaining. He also gave you a baseball cap to shield your face.

"What were you doing outside?" You asked.

"After you fell asleep, I went back to the corpse and collected its blood into blood bags for drinking later. That should hold us over until we get another opportunity to hunt. I also cut its belly, so we could have bacon for breakfast."

"Ba...con?" You repeated slowly.

"You've never had bacon before?" He chuckled.

You shook your head. "For breakfast, I usually have pancakes with creme fraîche or crepes, or Bastian toast with blood mimosas or something of that nature."

He rudely stuck his tongue out at you. "My bacon is better than that hoity-toity junk!"

He scurried out into the open, but you paused at the door.

You watched him crouch down beside a little fire he'd made. You wondered if he was truly a vampire at all. You didn't know any vampires who could just run into the sunlight willy nilly. He did not look like any vampires you knew, with spots all over and hair in weird places. He did not behave like any vampires you knew either.

"What're you staring for? Get over here or I'm gonna eat all the bacon without you!" He threatened.

You tentatively stepped into the outside. You retreated into the beast's hoodie, hoping it would be enough.

Everything seemed okay, you hadn't been burned. You sat down by the fire next to him and he handed you a strip of bacon.

"It smells...heavenly..." You took a bite, placing your hand below your mouth to catch any falling crumbs. It was crunchy, crispy, and wonderfully meaty. It was fattier and greasier than anything you'd ever eaten, but it was also one of the most delicious things you'd ever tasted.

"May I have another?" You asked politely.

He handed you another strip. "It's good, isn't it?"

You were too busy stuffing your face and sucking the grease and crumbs from your fingers to answer. He took one of the strips out of the pan and held it in the air above his face, so he could lower it into his mouth like paper in a shredder. The two of you continued to eat until his frying pan was empty.

The two of you sat in silence for a little while, allowing the food to settle in your bellies. He belched loudly (and he didn't even have the decency to cover his mouth or say excuse me!) and suggested it was time to get going.

You laid back down on the makeshift bed (you insisted he keep it out so you could sleep on the road) as he washed the dishes and put his supplies away. He poured some of the traveler's blood into a bottle with little tick marks on it, and put it in a box that lit up, spun the bottle around, and beeped loudly when it was done.

He did the same thing again, but handed the bottle to you. "It's better to drink it while it's warm. Don't spill it."

You nodded. He slipped through the curtain, and in a few minutes the RV was moving again.

You got comfortable beneath the covers, waiting for sleep to come. Things always came sooner when you went to sleep. Like Xmas.

You reminisced on winter time back in Transylvania, where the children would rehearse carols to sing to the adults of the coven. You'd have a humongous tree, decorated top to bottom in sparkling lights, and the manor would be filled with the aroma of sweet treats and savory meals.

You allowed yourself to succumb to sleep as you pondered if things would be the same when you saw your family again.

When you opened your eyes, you were standing in the doorway of the RV. You could tell you were dreaming because the colors were bright and oversaturated....and you were standing in the sun with no protection yet you weren't burning to a crisp.

The beast was sitting in the sun, leaning on one arm next to a frying pan of bacon. When he noticed you, he smiled playfully and beckoned you over with the wag of his finger. Your legs walked toward him and when you got close enough, he patted the dirt beside him.

You dropped down beside him on your hands and knees. He picked up a strip from the pan and held it up above you. You moved to bite it but he pulled it away and waved his finger at you.

He then placed it in his palm and offered it to you. You lowered your head and greedily consumed it. You licked every crevice of his hand, clearing away all the crumbs and grease.

"Good [Y/N]~" He praised gently as he used his gross saliva hand to tuck your hair behind your ear.

When you finally awoke for real, your throat was dry, your body was sore, and your tummy was empty. You propped yourself up and drank from your blood bottle, being careful not to spill it. You were thrilled to see it was finally nighttime. You removed the beast's hoodie and cap, trying not to think about the dream you just had.

All of a sudden, he emerged from a room you hadn't gone in before.

"Hello." You greeted him.

You seemed to startle him. "I thought you were asleep."

"Well, not anymore." You said before averting your gaze.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, picking up on your sudden timidity.

You shifted uncomfortably. "Do you have any facilities I may use to....relieve myself?"

"You mean, like, a toilet?"

"Y-yes." You admitted. "You don't have to be so vulgar about it."

He pointed his thumb in the direction of the door he just came through. "It's right there." You slipped inside, and when you were done you washed your hands thoroughly and came back out.

"That was fast." The brute commented. "Did you even wash your hands?"

"Of course I did!" You replied a little too indignantly.

"Okay....'cause you never know....After all, that sounds exactly like what someone who didn't wash their hands would say."

"I suppose you're not incorrect." You admitted.

"I know I'm not."

You took an indignant sip of blood from your bottle, not allowing his arrogance to get to you.

"Hey, do you ever wonder what it would be like if toilets were sentient?" He asked randomly.

"Um--"

"It would be...an interesting job. I'm not sure whether I would rather have the toilet loathe its job and state of perpetual suffering or love its job with a burning passion....what do you think?"

You were stunned. You weren't sure which answer he wanted you to give or how he would judge you for giving the wrong one.

However, he waved his hand dismissively. "Forget it. It was a weird thing to say."

He moved to disappear behind the curtain once more, but you told him to wait.

"Do you have any more of that bacon stuff?"

"No. We ate it all this morning."

"Oh...well I am quite famished. I would also like some new clothing, if it isn't too much trouble. I've been wearing the same thing for two days straight and I haven't had a shower. I need clean...undergarments."

"You know, there's a way to make dirty underwear last longer: you go front, you go back, you go inside out, then you go front and back again."

You shuddered and struggled to keep down your breakfast after thinking about laying your head on that couch seat again. "You are extremely revolting, you know this, no?"

"Chill, I was only joking." He assured you, though you weren't sure you believed him. "I'll pick some up for you while I'm out."

"You're leaving again?"

"Yeah, I gotta find food and get you panties and stuff."

"W-well, I want to help!" You exclaimed.

"Need I remind you that you nearly cost me the kill last time?"

"I know and I'm sorry, but I want to be an asset! I want to learn how to survive out here. I hate to admit it but....oh, I don't know...I kinda, sort of wish to be able to do...what you can do. You're so confident and sure, which I find somewhat comforting...I feel safe in your hands, but I want to be safe in my own as well, so I'm not frightened when you have to leave me alone. I-I also wish to keep drinking fresh blood...it's the best blood I've ever tasted....a-and maybe if I learn well, I'll be able to pass on the knowledge to the other vampires in the coven...so we won't go extinct."

Your cheeks burned and your heart raced. You weren't sure whether it was simply your imagination or not, but if you looked hard enough it seemed the beast's cheeks had taken on a bit of a rouge hue as well. It seemed your sudden confession caught him off-guard.

You weren't surprised. The two of you had only known each other for two days, and you already sounded so attached. But it felt like such a long time, probably because the two of you spent every second of every day together, whereas on TV the two love interests didn't usually live together.

"I...er, I wouldn't really know where to start." He stuttered. You weren't exactly sure how you felt about his sudden sheepishness.

"I've been accumulating knowledge for over 200 years. Some of my techniques are only made possible by my supernatural abilities. I'm not really sure how easily you'd get the hang of it...."

"It doesn't really matter. If I learn, I learn, and if I don't, I don't--nothing wrong with giving it a shot. And speaking of shot, may I occupy the shotgun seat this time? I've heard people call it that on TV. I-It's nighttime now, so I don't have to hide."

"Uh, sure." He agreed.

You slipped through the curtain after him. You fastened your seatbelt--which you knew how to do now, all by yourself--and waited excitedly for departure.

He pressed a button and dozens of lights lit up on some sort of control panel. He fastened his own seatbelt and began to drive.

It was odd, seeing what he saw for the first time. The lights of the other cars were very bright, and they zoomed by very fast, some of them so close you were afraid they'd hit you.

You took a long sip of blood. "Are you going to tell me your secrets or what?"

"Why do you want to know my secrets so bad?"

"I literally just told you. I want to help!"

"Well, don't go thinkin' you'll automatically become an asset after I share my knowledge with you, 'cause technical prowess like mine can only be achieved after years of experience." He informed you proudly.

"I honestly don't even know how to teach you or where to start. I wasn't formally taught myself, I just sorta picked things up along the way."

"I've found the beginning is a very good place to start." You said. "What was the first thing you learned?"

He thought for a moment. "Well, when I was younger, I used to live in a forest with a pack of wolves--"

"Well, that explains a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you can be quite monstrous. In my head, I've been referring to you as the blue-haired beast--or the beast for short--because you have yet to tell me your name."

He chuckled. "'The Blue-haired Beast' has a much better ring to it than Komisch, but that's what you can call me, if you want."

"Well, my name is [Y/N]." You offered, even though he didn't ask.

He continued with his tale. "The wolves taught me how to stalk quietly and use my nose to find prey. But that wouldn't be very useful for you, unless you were planning on moving to a forest and hunting wild animals. One thing I've learned is that a good hunter must be able to adapt and change their technique depending on the situation. Do you want fresh, human blood?"

You nodded.

"Human society works a lot differently than animal society. In the forest, there's no authority telling you who or what you can or can't kill and eat. When you hunt in human society, you add the threat of police. You'll have to learn how to work around that. However...I've learned something about human society that may work to our advantage."

"What kind of 'something'?"

He drove in a silence for a bit before saying, "It's something I like to call the Measure of Importance....the title is a work in progress."

"What's that?" You asked.

"I was just about to tell you before you interrupted." He replied.

He shook his head. "After living with humans for 100s of years, I've come to realize some humans are more important than others. The less important ones are less valued, so if you go after those you're much less likely to get caught because...no one cares enough to look for them."

"I'll use children as an example. Children are generally ranked highly on the Measure of Importance. Have you ever noticed on the news that when something bad happens, like a shooting, any children involved are given the most coverage? They'll say things like, 20 people died, including 8 children. Even if they aren't the majority, they're framed as most important. Based on this, I wouldn't recommend going after children. They're also a bad return investment. Sure, they're easy to overpower and kill, but at what cost? They usually don't have as much meat on their bones as a full sized adult, and their disappearance could incite an enraged manhunt."

"Generally, the pyramid of the Measure of Importance goes children, then women, then men. Of course, as with all generalizations, there are exceptions to the rule. Though women are generally second on the pyramid, women who are sex workers usually rank the lowest because of their profession. People don't usually care about them, and usually when they try to get help, they are met with 'What do you expect in your line of profession?' and other things like that."

"Also, even though white people usually rank highest on the Measure, if you happen to be hunting in a minority neighborhood, obviously prey of the same ethnic group will be most important to them, so like I said, it's all very nuanced, and as you become more experienced you'll be able to get a better feel for your situation."

"Wow...you've really got this whole thing well thought out, don't you?"

He shrugged. "I didn't really think it out, they're just some things I've observed throughout my lifetime. When you're desperate for food, you gotta do what you gotta do...but I'm sure you would know all about that."

You furrowed your brow. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well...you did just jump into the van of a random stranger because he promised he could bring you back home. Sounds pretty desperate to me...and not very street smart."

You avoided his gaze for you weren't sure what to say.

He was right and when it was said aloud it sounded utterly stupid. Deep down, you wondered if his words held an air of warning. Perhaps he was hinting that he, in fact, hadn't planned on returning you to your family at all and instead planned to keep you as his pet. You'd seen him do magic, and you began to wonder if his cat Beethoven was actually a transformed, handsome young man that he'd lured into his white van with the promise of safety, only to attempt to keep him for himself. Perhaps you might have to ask the cat about that when you had some time alone, but how could you be sure the boy wouldn't rat you out to his new master?

You decided to keep calm and pretend everything was as it always had been, so as to not arouse the bea--er, Komisch's suspicion.

You drove in silence for a while before Komisch started speaking again.

"A friend of mine told me about this new hunting technique awhile back, if you're up for the challenge."

"What kind of technique?"

"All you have to do is act as bait." Komisch replied.

"Why do I have to be bait?"

"Because you're a lot cuter than I am, and you're good at looking like a lost puppy who has no idea what's going on."

You weren't sure whether to take that as a compliment or not, but you had no idea the beast thought you were "cute".

"You're also a pretty fast runner," He went on, "And I'm not sure how good your acting skills are but I guess I'll find out today."

After going over the plan, Komisch dropped you off in front of a bar at the corner of the street.

You went over the plan over and over again in your head. It was so intricate, that you wondered what would happen if even one of the parts didn't go as planned. You tried your best to appear drunk, for it was what the plan required.

After a bit of staggering, a dark truck pulled up in front of you. It rolled down one of its dark tinted windows. Inside, there was a man with a round, white face and a dark beard that matched his hair and eyes.

He smiled at you from behind his dark sunglasses. "Are you lost, baby girl?"

"Not exactly. You can't be lost if you have nowhere to go." You replied.

He nodded. "True. Where are you from?"

"I-I don't remember. It seems I've had too much to drink tonight."

The man smiled. "Well you're welcome to come home with me for the night."

"Really?" You gasped, feigning relief.

"Sure! Just get in on the other side."

"Thank you, sir." You said just like Komisch told you to, and hopped in. It was similar to the driver's section of his RV, only a lot smaller. The man began to pull away before you even fastened your seatbelt. In the darkness of the passenger side mirror, you could see Komisch's RV following you.

As he drove, you tried not to appear nervous. Komisch told you that drunk people didn't act nervous, they acted sleepy and as if they weren't quite aware of their surroundings. You wanted to make him proud, so you tried your best to pretend accordingly.

After a while of driving on a woodsy back road, the man said, "You're quite a young thing, aren'tcha? What were you doing on that street corner all by yourself?"

"I was running away from home. I hate my stupid parents and I never wish to see them again!" You replied just as Komisch told you to. He'd said that having parental issues (or better yet, no parents at all), would only solidify the man's interest in you.

"That's tough." The man said, placing his clammy hand down on top of yours before you had the chance to snatch it away.

"Parents are just the worst sometimes." He added as his hand began attempting to explore the depths of the sleeve of your nightgown.

You snatched your arm away. "I don't even know your name! And I'd be much more comfortable if you kept your eyes completely on the road!" You exclaimed, just like Komisch had instructed if things started going too far too fast.

As if to further prove your point, the truck swerved violently on the road before the man quickly straightened it. "Yeah...you're probably right."

He turned the vehicle onto rocky terrain before coming to a stop. He quickly slid out and came around to the passenger side and pulled you out of the van.

You pretended to stagger and stumble, because Komisch said that's what drunk people did. He helped you walk into the house. He held you so closely and stiffly that you were unable to look over your shoulder and ensure Komisch had followed you to this cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Once inside, he sat you down on his old, musty pull out couch. Unsure of what to do next in your charade, you laid down on the makeshift bed, hoping the gross old man would leave you alone if you pretended to be asleep.

Unfortunately, this didn't work.

He flopped down on the bed next to you. "Don't go to sleep." He said, as if this were some teen sleepover.

You feigned a yawn. "I'm quite tired after today's events." You groaned, wondering where the hell Komisch was at.

The man ignored you, rolling his overweight body on top of you and pinning down your wrists. He was so close you could smell the alcohol and tobacco on his breath.

You wondered what was taking the beast so long, and you wondered if this was his plan all along. Had he sold you to this man because he was so tired of having you around?

You tried to squirm from his hold but he wouldn't move. He held your face in his calloused hands and squeezed your sunken cheeks very hard. "What's the rush?" He whispered, "The fun's only just beginning!"

You were hyperventilating now but you were sure he couldn't hear it, or if he could he just didn't care. He leaned in to kiss you, so you closed your eyes to lessen the pain of what was about to happen. Perhaps you could pretend you were kissing one of those nice men from the movies.

Abruptly, you heard a loud crash and it felt as if you'd been slapped in the face. You screamed and sat up, noticing some blood on your nightgown. On the floor beside the bed, Komisch was wrestling the man, his jaws locked on his neck. It wasn't long before you heard the notorious snap and the man went limp. You were trembling uncontrollably as Komisch stood, licking the blood from his lips.

"You good?"

"Yes, I'm fine." You replied because you wanted to impress him. If he was good, you would be good too.

He nodded. "Good. I must admit, you did a pretty good job today."

He held up the man's limp hand. He had a wedding band on his ring finger.

"It looks like we might've found ourselves a cheater! I have to hurry and butcher and package the meat, go find the master bedroom and see if you can find some clothing to wear. If nothing strikes your fancy, then find some cash to steal instead so you can buy the clothing you want."

You got off the bed and walked haphazardly to the back of the house, for that was the only place left to go. You eventually stumbled into the biggest bedroom in the cabin and sat down on the large bed.

Your heart hadn't stopped racing and your armpits were still moist. You hadn't quite processed what happened back there....what would've happened if Komisch hadn't come for you.

You were beginning to believe you weren't as ready for this as you thought.

Komisch stomped in, startling you. "What are you doing? We're on a strict timetable, you know."

"I know, I know, just...give me a minute..."

He seemed to notice your fast breathing. "Are you alright?"

"Yes--"

"Don't lie to me, [Y/N]."

You glanced up at him. "No." You finally admitted. "That....was a lot. I thought I was really in danger...I was scared for my life...I just wish I'd known what I'd be getting into when I volunteered for this...."

"I see..." Komisch muttered. "I agree. The technique was probably too advanced for a noob like you. If you want...you can go back to the RV and take a hot shower...those always make me feel better."

"Oh, er, thanks." You stammered.

"I'll...be finishing up in the kitchen if you need me."

You nodded and he walked off. You stood up and got ready to go before doing a once over of the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a cute backpack in the perfect color and decided to empty it and take it with you. Adventurers needed bags to carry their things. You then ransacked the drawers and put all the cash you found in the backpack. You looked through what seemed to be drawers full of clothes belonging to the lady he was living with and you took 2 tops and 2 bottoms that seemed to fit well enough and stuffed those into your backpack as well.

Komisch was right about the hot shower. The hot water seemed to melt all your cares and worries away, if only temporarily. You thought about how he'd reacted to your anxiety, and decided perhaps the beast wasn't as bad as you'd initially believed. At least he seemed to care somewhat about you, if only a little.

When you exited the steamy shower all ready for bed, you noticed the RV was filled with a heavenly aroma. Your stomach whined, for you'd forgotten about your hunger hours before. Komisch, who was at the table eating, looked up at you. You felt as if you could devour an entire human on your own, but you were too shy to ask.

"What?" He asked, pointing his fork, which was currently stabbed into a piece of juicy meat. "Is this what you want?"

Foolishly, you believed he was holding his fork out to you so you reached for it, but he pulled it away and ate the meat himself. The way he tore it off made it look so tender and you wondered why he'd chosen now, of all times, to become such an incessant tool.

He licked his fork. "Do you know what this is?"

You shook your head.

"Human meat chops, seared to perfection in a cast iron skillet."

"Are ya hungry?"

"I am."

"Do you want some?"

"Yes, yes I do." You replied a little more breathlessly than intended.

"Then utter the magic words--ask and you shall receive."

"May I please have some human meat chops?"

"No." He replied nonchalantly.

"Please? I'll only eat a little, if that's what you want."

He stood and at first you believed he was going to step towards you, but he instead went to the microwave and pressed the 30 second button.

He returned to his seat. "Your plate of food is in there. You can get it when it's finished."

You were fairly sure please had been the magic word, so why didn't he accept it the first time? Perhaps it was because he was the type of weirdo who enjoyed watching you squirm.

When the microwave chimed you brought your plate to the table and chowed down. The "human chops" had been every bit as satisfying as he had promised.

You swallowed your bite. "Komisch, why did that man do that to me? He tried to mate with me...even though I didn't know him at all and it was obvious I hadn't wanted him anywhere near me...I was very frightened....do you ever become frightened when you have to do things like that?"

"No. I've pretty much seen it all. Living this life toughens you up very quickly. Like I told you before, it gets easier over time. Knowing that I've got something up my sleeve, an upper hand my opponent doesn't know about, gives me confidence."

You shook your head. "Something like that would never have happened at The School...."

"What the fuck are you talking about? That was what was literally about to happen when I was there! The staff were about to sit there and watch me rape you from their little glass cage. They'd even handcuffed you to make it easier for me." He reminded you.

You were silent as you instinctively grabbed your wrist, though you realized it was no longer broken as it had been before.

***

You emerged from the shower.

You could tell you were dreaming again, because everything seemed glowing and otherworldly.

The dream beast noticed you staring at him from the dining table. "Do you want some of this?" He asked, mid-chew.

You nodded. "Yes, I do." You said, a little more enthusiastically than what you would've liked.

"Sit down." He commanded. You complied.

His long legs hugged and brushed up against yours, sending a spark up your spine. It was strange, but to your surprise, you didn't completely dislike it.

"Open your mouth." He said. You surprisingly complied.

He stabbed a piece of meat with his fork and offered it to you. You leaned forward tentatively and bit it.

He smiled and stabbed another piece of meat, and you ate it once more.

He gazed into your eyes. His voice was calm and his eyes were gentle. "You're doing such a good job, you know."

He chuckled, his laughter reverberating in the silence. "You've actually surpassed my expectations."

Your face was on fire. You locked eyes with your hands resting on the table. Komisch's hand was there as well and something within you wanted to reach out and grab it. Then you remembered this was a dream so you did.

It was warm, but not uncomfortably. You ran your thumb slowly over the veins on the back of his brown hand. He didn't really have any reaction to this, because you had no idea what his reaction would be if you tried to hold his hand in the real world.

However, in your dream you imagined his own cheeks reddened timidly to match yours.

***

When you awoke, the RV was stationary. Komisch was standing next to the door, staring out the window with a very stern, thoughtful look on his countenance.

"What is it? What's wrong?" You questioned, concern bleeding into your tired voice.

Without looking at you, Komisch brought his coffee mug to his lips and sipped. It had a cute little blue whale on it, beneath which were the words "Whale, shit".

"It's laundry day." He croaked.

"What...does that mean?"

"Whaddya mean 'what does that mean'? It's the day I do laundry." He replied, setting his mug down on the small kitchen counter.

Before you could ask why he'd shared that news as if the world was ending, he began depositing clothes into a mesh yellow bag.

"Do you have any laundry to add to the pile?" He asked. You gave him the clothes you stole and some of the undergarments you had purchased with the stolen money.

"How long will this take?" You asked.

He shrugged. "You're free to wait here while Beethoven and I are inside."

He hoisted on a transparent backpack with air holes, in which Beethoven sat. You were stunned that things like that even existed but you decided to go in anyway. At least it would give you an opportunity to wear your new clothes.

When you entered the laundromat, your nose was immediately bombarded with the smells of different laundry detergents. The few people who were present threw some stares your way and you weren't sure if it was because Komisch was carrying a fat cat in a plastic backpack or because you were covered head to toe in clothing in summer weather.

He loaded the machine and put in all the liquids and stuff before closing it. The machine rumbled to life. The vibrations reminded you of a vibrator, and you were pretty sure that was only because you were feeling horny. That could mean your cycle was about to begin.

Back at The School--after you'd found out about masturbation--you would pleasure yourself while on your period, because the orgasms helped relieve the pain and eased your cramps. Unfortunately, it seemed you would just have to go without.

Approximately 30 minutes went by before the machine stopped.

"Finally, we can leave--"

"Not so fast, [Y/N]. We've gotta let the clothes dry too." He corrected.

You sighed and sat back down as he transferred the clothes to a different machine. When he finished he sat back down next to you and promised, "It won't be too long now. Sometimes, I like to watch videos of memes with zero context to pass the time."

"What is a...'meme'?"

He slipped his phone out of his pocket. "Here, I'll show you."

He put one of the wireless earbuds in his ears and handed you the other. You hesitantly inserted it and he started the video, in which a woman was walking outside in a giant blow-up rotisserie chicken costume. She entered a house and threw open the door to a fridge before pulling out a real rotisserie chicken that had been partially eaten. Unexpectedly, she screamed at the camera.

The sudden noise made you jump and shout and almost fall out of your chair all while making you laugh at the same time. Some of the patrons of the laundromat were staring at you now but they'd probably been staring ever since you walked in.

"Chill [Y/N], it's not that serious." Komisch told you.

"My apologies...I was startled by the loud noise." You explained as you righted yourself back in the chair.

He continued the video and many of his "memes" included sudden loud screams, violence, profanity, and wheezy laughter. You were reluctant to admit that there was more than one that tickled your funny bone. It seemed like it had only been 10 minutes when Komisch got up to unload the machine again. He put the clothes back in the mesh bag and lugged it back to the RV.

"Are we going to get going now?" You asked.

"Not so fast, I need to pick up a few things from the store first."

As you were beginning to sigh, you remembered that you still didn't have anything to deal with your oncoming period and you could feel the cramps beginning to manifest.

The supermarket was very big and bright. The LED lights were like mini-suns, except less deadly. There was strange music playing at all times that didn't sound like anything a real person would listen to willingly.

As you followed Komisch down the aisles, you wondered if this could be considered a first date. You wondered if he'd ever been on a real date before--privacy, intimacy, vulnerability, the whole works.

As he walked, he randomly asked, "Do you have a favorite candy?"

"Candy?"

"You don't know what candy is?" He questioned, but his tone wasn't unkind.

"I know what candy is. We were just never allowed to have any back at The School so I haven't had any in a while. The Staff said the sugar would make us rowdy and unhinged."

"LAME!" He shouted, startling you.

"I've been a chocolate lover for a long time, but I like to have sour candy on hand too. It helps when I'm not feeling myself." He grabbed a bag of a candy called Happy Cola and put it in his bag. He grabbed a bag of Sour Patch Kids and put those in too.

He then stared at you silently, and you assumed he was waiting on you to make a selection as well. Somewhat unsettled, you stared down the wall of choices. You reached for a package of [ur fav candy] and put them in the bag.

Komisch turned. "Okay, now we can go--"

"Wait! I...um...I am in need of some menstrual products. I feel like my menstruation cycle is about to begin."

"Okay." He replied, leaning back so he could look at the overhead signs indicating where everything was in this retail maze. You made your way to the feminine hygiene products section.

"Mkay, so what vag size do you wear?"

"WHAT?!" You exclaimed, totally taken aback.

"[Y/N], you really shouldn't be so loud when we're in a public place."

"B-b-but you--"

"I was just tryna joke around, why so seriousssss? Anyways, I heard menstrual cups were good for the environment because they're low waste. And if you're worried about cleaning, you can just give me the cup and I'll drink it."

You were hiding your face, burning up with embarrassment as Komisch said those things as if they were normal, everyday things people should be saying in public.

"N-no, no, I'm good, thanks. I'll just use sanitary napkins." You stammered, grabbing a random pack just so you could get out of there before Komisch could embarrass you any further.

Back in the RV, you laid in bed and ate the candy Komisch had bought for you. You liked it quite a bit, and you had to remain strong so you wouldn't eat it too fast.

You thought back to what Komisch had said about the menstrual cup. You'd never heard anyone say anything like that to you before. But then again, Komisch wasn't really like the guys you were used to, which could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the situation.

You wondered if saying things like that was how they flirted wherever he was from. He had bought you some candy, and you knew in many places that gifts could be used to show affection. But then again, no one had ever flirted with you before so you didn't consider yourself the best judge of what was normal or not. Besides, what would you do if he admitted he was flirting with you? What would you say? You weren't even sure if you liked him all that much.

He was just so...weird. And you weren't sure if you liked that.

***

You awoke to the sound of your name being whispered.

You nearly fell out of bed when you saw Komisch lying there mere inches away from your face.

The outline of his body seemed all hazy and fuzzy, so you figured this was probably a dream again.

He was so close and he stared so intently that you wondered if he was going to kiss you. You wondered if the beast had ever been kissed before. And if so, you wondered what type of person would want to kiss him?

Still, you wondered what his kisses were like. It wouldn't surprise you if they were rough and passionate, if he groped and grabbed like his life depended on it. But there was a chance he had a soft inner center, one whose kisses were so gentle that you'd wondered if your lips had touched at all, and he caressed your body gingerly, believing if he applied too much pressure your body would break. All of a sudden, you were extremely intrigued with finding out which.

He ruined the intense moment by booping you on the nose with his index finger. "You look so cute when you sleep~."

"Thank you." You replied, though you preferred he thought you looked cute while you were awake as well.

"You like that, don't you? You're blushing~." He pointed out, brushing a gentle finger down your flushed cheek.

He then steamrolled over you until he was on top of you. He sat on your waist and pinned your wrists down against the bed.

"Do you like me? Like, like-like me? Do you want me, [Y/N]?"

"Where ever did you come up with a silly idea like that?"

"You blush whenever I flirt with you. You're doing it right now. See?" He said, and your cheeks must've been getting redder by the second.

"W-well I only do it because you say the most outlandish things and I don't know how to react!"

"Fair." He nodded. "But you never answered my question."

"Yes...no...maybe? I honestly don't really know. I'm not even sure what 'like-liking' someone feels like. How would I know if I did? Is this romance thing always this complicated? I...don't even know if you like me."

"Well....maybe I can help you make up your mind~" He smirked.

He rose to his hands and knees and crawled backwards into the strange darkness that surrounded you in this dream world.

The next thing you knew, you felt an incredibly smooth and gentle sensation between your legs.

"Komisch?" You whispered his name in apprehension.

He moaned in response, the vibration of his mouth against your clitoris resulting in a quiet gasp. The silky sensation of his warm tongue on your lips turned you on immensely. When you squeezed your thighs together you could feel his head between them, though you could not see him.

You clutched the sheets of the bed tightly. You writhed with pleasure but he held your trembling legs steady. "Stop squirming." He ordered.

He slipped his long tongue into your hole, greedily slurping at the blood and endometrium. Your muscles began contracting and you couldn't tell if you were getting wetter or if it was just his tongue. Either way, it felt amazing.

You climaxed soon after and then everything went silent. You felt as if you were alone in the darkness, even though Komisch had only been performing oral sex on you a few seconds before.

×××

For the first time since the trip began, you awoke before Komisch. He was still in his large bed, dozing away. You wondered what kind of things he dreamt about. Did he dream about you like you dreamed about him?

You leaned in close, stepping over the stuffed animals he'd kicked on the floor during his slumber (he owned a menagerie of them). He muttered a few words every now and then, but you couldn't quite interpret them. You were about to go back to bed when you noticed the outline of Komisch's hard penis through the thin material of his boxer shorts. It was the first time you'd ever seen an erection in the flesh.

You weren't quite sure how you felt about it. It wasn't exactly the magic The School had promised. And you'd seen larger, more impressive cocks in the porn videos The Staff had shown you. All of a sudden, he moved his leg slightly and it collided with your thigh on the bed.

He jolted awake.

"Oh, haha. It's just you." He chuckled tiredly when he noticed you sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Yep, just me." You replied, unsure of what to say to that.

When he continued to stare at you, you asked, "What?"

"Why are you sitting on my bed? Your bed is over there."

"Calm down, it's a rare occasion when I awake before you. I was only coming over to make sure you weren't dead."

"Oh."

The two of you stared at each other for a while. You wondered if you were having a moment. You wondered if this was the part where he'd ask you to "help" him with his boner. Or where he'd drag you down, pin you to the bed and start licking your pussy for real. In your dreams, you'd only imagined what such an act might feel like but you couldn't really imagine having it done in real life, and certainly not with him.

But still, perhaps you'd find it even more rewarding than in your dream. I mean, he was decades older than you. Surely he had some experience under his belt.

"Hey [Y/N]...since you're already over here..." He began as he rolled over onto his back, "You wanna see me move my balls with my mind?" He poked his fingers into his temples as if he was getting ready to do some weird telekinesis.

Of course, you were sure your face went bright red because the beast began laughing. It was almost as if he said out-of-pocket trash just to make you blush on purpose!

"WHAT!? No! Why would anyone wish to see that?!"

Komisch sat up and shrugged, circling the black, glassy eye of an orca plushie with his finger. "Dunno. Guess I'll have to ask the person who finally takes up my offer."

Beethoven leaped onto the bed and screamed at Komisch.

"Okay, okay, I know, buddy. It's breakfast time." The beast said, giving the fur baby scratches between his black ears.

"I swear he acts like if you don't feed him in 5 seconds he's going to perish." Komisch said as he slid out of bed.

He fumbled around the kitchen, getting the ingredients and utensils to start making breakfast. It was still somewhat dark outside, but in the distance you could see the sun was beginning to rise above the trees.

As you sat on your bed and watched the beast cook as he hummed various tunes (some of which you'd heard before playing in the RV), you felt at peace. Something about it felt so right and so soothing. It was something you could get used to. Komisch wasn't so bad when he wasn't saying out of pocket stuff, but honestly, his strange ideas only made him more intriguing to you. I mean, you didn't think the other vampires you were used to would ever think of suggesting that they wore their underwear multiple times without washing them. But perhaps that was because vampires generally valued their appearances and reputations. It was clear to you by the way he spoke, the things that he said, and the way that he dressed that Komisch did not.

"Have you ever been in a relationship before?" You boldly decided to ask him. "You know, like a romantic one?"

"No...?" He said, the upward inflection of his voice making him sound as if he was unsure.

"Really? Never ever? Never in your over 200 years of life?" You questioned.

He shook his head no but remained silent.

"Oh...well that's unfortunate."

"What?"

"I-I mean, it's unfortunate for me." You quickly amended nervously. "If you've never been in a relationship after all this time, I doubt whether I will ever find true love myself. Eternity is quite a long time to spend all on your lonesome..."

Komisch shook his head. "You've got nothing to worry about. You're actually good-looking and fairly loveable--though of course, not as loveable as I am." He joked.

"I don't believe it will be long before you find someone to spend your eternity with, after you start putting yourself out there."

You were glad he had his back towards you so he couldn't see how red his compliments had turned your face. You weren't sure if you loved or hated how direct his compliments were. On the one hand, they were very unlike other vampires, who felt the need to use 1,000 words to convey one. On the other, as direct as they felt, you also felt like Komisch was trying to tell you he liked you without saying it outright. But because of his ambiguity you couldn't be sure. Perhaps he was just the type to freely express he likes what he sees when he does. But you wished he would just turn around and pull you close and show you what real, good lovin felt like. Then you would know his feelings for sure.

You imagined his hands on your waist, his lips on yours, his voice moaning your name, and his dick warming you up inside and rocking your world.

"Either way," Komisch added, turning around and knocking you out of your reverie, "I don't know why you would be in such a hurry to tie yourself down like that."

"Personally, I don't really see a real point to dating. I mean, what would I even do with a girlfriend?"

"In the movies, couples often go on adventures together, to the park, to the movies...you know, just spending time together." You informed him.

"You don't need a partner to do that. You can do all those things with your friends. Heck, I could even do those things with Beethoven!"

"Well, of course you wouldn't see the point. You've never been in a romantic relationship before!" You replied.

He shrugged. "Yeah, probably."

He put the finished food on two plates and set one down before you. He filled Beethoven's food bowl before sitting down across from you.

"What is this?"

"Speckpfannkuchen. Basically, if bacon and a pancake had a delicious baby [with a side of eggs however you like them (if u don't like eggs ignore this)]." He replied as he began to dig in.

"Oooo." You said and excitedly dug into yours as well.

As you munched on your pancake, you wondered if The School was still looking for you. A darker, neglected part of you decided you wouldn't mind if they found you, captured you, and took you back to the facility. You were already chosen for each other, so you wouldn't worry about who you would spend the rest of your life with. He said he wasn't interested in dating but he was only saying that because he'd never done it before. Perhaps he was scared now, but he'd come to enjoy it soon enough. And soon enough he'd learn to love you, if he didn't already. He said himself that you were fairly loveable. You didn't believe a life like that would be so bad.

"Are you going to eat your breakfast or stare into deep space?" Komisch asked, snapping you out of your fantasies.

"O-oh sorry." You said and continued eating.

A little later you said, "I-I know you've never dated before but have you ever been physically intimate with anyone? I learned from movies and TV that sometimes people begin intimate relationships without dating first. Like, you know, the friends with benefits thing....things like that would be unheard of in my coven. But at the same time, television makes it look so very exciting!"

"Um--"

"You don't have to give me the nitty gritty details, you could just tell me about the first time you kissed someone. If you've kissed someone that is...you have kissed someone before, right?"

"Well...I guess you could say that." He admitted as he took a sip from his coffee mug.

"Really? How was it?"

He shrugged and mumbled, "It was pretty weird and confusing...I don't really like to think about it..."

"That bad, huh?" You said. You couldn't honestly say you were surprised. Intimacy required an air of seriousness you weren't sure Komisch was even capable of.

"I was wondering if you could tell me what went wrong. Only so when the time comes, I won't make the same mistakes."

He shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. "I dunno, maybe don't have one?" He groaned.

"What?"

"I said I DON'T KNOW," He repeated more aggressively, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING ME?"

"What on earth is wrong with you?!" You exclaimed. He'd gone from being fine one second to sniffing, choked up and tears forming in his eyes the next.

"Nothing is wrong!" He yelled, even though it was clear to you that something was.

"Yes, there is. You're literally crying--"

He stood up abruptly and slammed his fists on the table. "NOTHING IS WRONG!"

You sat there, frozen. Out of the corner of your eye, you could even see that Beethoven had stopped eating. Komisch made a loud noise suddenly that sounded like a cross between a growl and a groan.

Without any warning he grabbed you forcefully by the arm and dragged you outside of the RV. He turned and slammed the door in your face and you heard the click of the lock fastening behind him.

You stared at the door in shock, your legs unable to move. What the fuck...had just happened? You were just having a conversation and then the whole thing just...went off the rails?! What the fuck was his problem? Everything within you told you to bang on the metal door and demand he act like an adult and allow you entry. But as you listened to his intense sobs from outside the RV, you decided you did not want to upset him further.

You sat down, your back leaning on the vehicle. You hugged your knees to your chest and you felt as if you wanted to cry.

You'd come to the official conclusion that the beast was just straight up insane. You'd spent all your time trying to decipher his signals, but now you were convinced that he was just crazy and they didn't mean anything at all.

And even if they did, who would want to end up with a lunatic like him?! Everytime you'd tried to see the sliver of good in him, he'd do something to prove you all kinds of wrong. He didn't love you. You'd seen many movies and there were none in which the man grabbed his lover and threw them outside. When you returned to the coven, you'd find someone who knew how to treat you right.

Tears began to fall down your cheeks. You could really go for a warm embrace right about now. When you'd initially arrived at The School, you quickly formed a found family with the other vampires. You were all very close and very affectionate.

But as in all other aspects of his life, Komisch was unlike anyone you had ever known. He freaked out like a big, bubble-blowing baby at the thought of anyone invading his personal bubble by a few centimeters. He'd probably just been lying about kissing someone, and got angry when you'd caught him in the lie.

You debated knocking on the door and pleading with him to let you back inside, promising you won't bother him anymore. But you sat still. Why should you have to be the one to grovel and apologize? You didn't even do anything! But more importantly, you guessed, you didn't want to risk angering him.

As you watched the orange light appear on the tops of the trees, you knew sunrise was coming upon you. If you were lucky, he would let you in before the sun came out fully.

+++

After what seemed like forever, the door to the RV flew open. You were glad you'd decided to rest beside it or you'd have a face full of dirt right about now.

He stood in the doorway stern and stone-faced. The only thing he had to offer was, "Get in. We're leaving."

You gleefully hopped up the steps, relieved to be out of the way of the murderous sun. You were headed to the bathroom to change your sanitary pad and wash your feet (the beast had thrown you outside without giving you any time to put on any type of footwear) when he said your name.

You froze in your tracks. You didn't turn to look at him because you were still angry.

You heard him inhale sharply. "Look...sorry about...what happened back there. Your annoying questions brought up some memories that I...prefer to keep hidden and locked away. Still it wasn't your fault....I guess what I'm trying to say is you, like, I dunno, triggered me? Well, I guess it is kind of your fault because I told you I didn't want to talk about it but you pushed me to do so anyway...b-but that's besides the point! I-I overreacted and inappropriately lashed out at you and threw you outside without any explanation. And for that, I am sorry."

You turned to look at him. "That was the worst apology I've ever heard."

"I'm not really used to making them. It's just me and Beethoven most of the time...with no one to hurt, there's no one to apologize to."

"Hmph!" You huffed,"I suppose I can make an exception and accept your apology. That is, if you promise not to do that again."

"Do you promise to stop when I tell you to? Otherwise, I can't promise I won't get triggered again."

"Fine. Deal."

He awkwardly said, "Deal?" and held out his calloused hand, unsure of what to do now. You took it reluctantly and gave it a firm shake.

When he let go, he said, "So...umm...according to the GPS, we're nearly there! We might even make it before midnight, traffic willing."

"Really?!" You gasped, unable to contain your excitement at the thought of seeing all your friends and family again.

"What are you still standing there for? We need to get going!"

•••

After the sun set and it was safe to do so, you went to the front of the RV and sat in the passenger seat, keeping your eyes locked on the road ahead. You were hoping you'd catch a glimpse of something, anything that would jog your memory and lead you in the right direction. You'd told him that the coven had lived in a dense forest to escape the sun's unforgiving rays, so he decided to start searching the forests of Transylvania when you arrived.

However the roads were rocky, littered with greenery from the trees, and unforgiving. You could tell the both of you were nervous as you pressed on.

You were driving on a dark, backwoods road when Komisch suggested, "Perhaps we should turn around?"

Before you could respond, you heard a loud BOOM that sounded as if bombs had gone off under the RV. You screamed and Komisch cursed through his clenched teeth as he gripped the steering wheel tightly.

Thankfully, he was able to bring the vehicle to a safe stop.

"You good?"

You nodded slightly, still afraid to move. Komisch let out an exasperated sigh and rested his head on the steering wheel.

"Welp, guess I gotta go inspect the damage." He unfastened his seatbelt and slid out of the driver's seat, closing the door behind him.

He'd only been out there for a few minutes when you heard a shout followed by a loud thud.

"Komisch!" You exclaimed and quickly exited the vehicle. You ran around the front to see two men forcing him down onto the dirt road. Before you could do anything, you felt strong arms come from behind and grab you, pinning your arms against your waist. You kicked and screamed as you were lifted above the ground but you couldn't wiggle free.

Beethoven came running from around the van and slammed into the legs of one of the unsuspecting men holding Komisch down. He clamped down on his shin and the brute grunted with agitation before kicking the feline aside. Komisch began growling and baring his fangs but the men kept him restrained.

"STOP!" You heard a deep voice bellow in Romanian.

You all turned to see a man walking towards you. He wore a dark tailcoat, a lavishly embroidered waistcoat, long trousers, black boots, and a tall, black tophat. He leaned on a bejeweled cane for support though he stood as if he were in denial of this fact. You locked eyes. You studied his face closely.

"Tată?" You guessed.

"Pardon? Who are you? State your business!"

"I'm [Y/N] [L/N], and that over there is my travel companion Komisch...I don't know his last name. And the cat is Beethoven. We've come to find my vampire coven."

Now it was his turn to narrow his eyes and study your face.

His face softened as he guessed, "Puiul meu?" Tears pricked your eyes at the sound of the familiar term of endearment.

You nodded emphatically. "Yes, it's me!"

The man holding you let you go so your father could embrace you. You melted into him as he held you tightly. You hadn't had a hug in ages but this one was worth waiting for. You were safe now. You were home.

"I thought you were lost forever...how did you find us?" Father asked.

You pulled away and nodded in Komisch's direction. The men had let him go, and he was holding and comforting Beethoven.

"Thank you, young man. How shall I ever repay you?" Father asked gratefully, holding out his hand to shake.

Komisch didn't take it. "I...can't speak Romanian." He drawled.

Your father blushed and repeated in Fruchtish. "Oh! I said, thank you, young man! How shall I ever repay you?"

"For starters, you could fix the tires you destroyed on my RV. For next-ers, [Y/N] promised me a handsome reward." Komisch replied.

Father turned to look at you and you nodded. He turned back to Komisch. "Oh...er...of course! I'll send for the others to fetch some equipment so we can transport the vehicle back to the mansion. In the meantime, we should get going! Everyone will want to hear the good news!"

Your father allowed you to grab a few things from the RV before boarding the horse-drawn carriage your father had arrived in. On the journey home, you and your father attempted to make awkward small talk, but he told you to refrain from telling him any huge details until you got home so you wouldn't have to repeat yourself over and over.

After traversing through the dark tunnel of trees, you came upon a large manor. There wasn't much greenery decorating the place, for the huge canopy of leaves that blocked out the sun's light above made it difficult for plants to grow below. Once you laid eyes on the house, so many memories came flooding back. You couldn't wait to see your mother and your cousins and your uncles and your aunts. Once the carriage came to a stop, your dad hopped out and offered his hand to help you too.

As you ascended the stairs to the front door, you couldn't help but freak out. Your legs became more viscous with each step, and you couldn't be 100% sure you wouldn't faint right then and there. The guard standing at the door nodded at your father respectfully and opened the door for everyone.

"Valerian!" Your father called into the spacious foyer.

"Yes, my Lord?" A young man in a butler's uniform replied.

"Spread the word throughout the manor that [Y/N] has returned to us! I would like to have an impromptu ball in their honor!" Father exclaimed.

"Impromptu ball?!" Valerian repeated. He began muttering nervously about the preparations. As he walked, he bumped into a young woman in a maid's outfit and told her to inform the kitchen staff of the events.

Father turned to you. "Narcisa here will show you and Komisch to your temporary accommodations. I do hope they will be satisfactory. But if you'll excuse me, I want to find your mother and tell her the good news in person!"

Before you could reply, he poofed into a bat and flew away.

"Please follow me." Narcisa instructed. She led you up the grand staircase.

"So...what do you think of everything?" You whispered to Komsich as you walked.

He looked around at the dark walls and high Gothic ceilings. He shrugged. "Meh, it's okay. But everyone speaks Romanian here so I can't really follow any conversation. But what else should one expect if they're in Romania?"

Narcisa halted in front of a door. "This will be your room until the Count can set up a more permanent one for you to move into, Miss [Y/N]. Some servants will arrive shortly to draw you a bath and help you get ready for the ball tonight."

"Now, come along Sir--"

"Wait! We're not staying in the same room together?" You asked.

"Heavens no!" Narcisa exclaimed, clutching her chest, "A man and a woman in the same room without a chaperone? How scandalous!"

You nodded. "Oh...I suppose you have a point. So...I guess I'll see you at the ball tonight?"

"See ya." Komisch said, before walking off with Narcisa.

You felt a strange feeling well up inside you as you watched him walk away. Ever since your journey together had begun, you'd rarely been apart from each other. Your new room seemed cold and lonely, and not because the fireplace was empty.

As you were trying to decipher what these feelings meant, you heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!"

It was a group of maids carrying toiletries, linens, and cloths.

"Welcome home, Miss [Y/N]! The manor is buzzing with excitement--everyone's so excited to see you!"

"I'm excited to see them as well." You replied.

"As you should be," One of the maids said, "But you should look your best before you face the crowds. Are you ready for your bath?"

You nodded.

~~~

Though life on the road had been full of excitement, you'd missed the luxury of warm baths. In the RV, Komisch only had a shower, in which there wasn't ample space.

After your bath, you were poked, and prodded, and poofed, and pampered, and pulled to perfection.

They'd given you a blood-red dress to wear with tight, lace-edged sleeves that sloped off the shoulder, a pointed waist, and a full bell-shaped skirt with flounces of more black lace. Your hair had been done up and a single, red rose was pinned behind your ear. Your makeup was simple and natural looking, with only some face powder, rouge on the cheeks and red on the lips. The maids had insisted on some perfume but you knew that Komisch had an aversion to artificial scents and if he caught a whiff of it he would avoid you all night, which wasn't something you knew you didn't want to happen until that very second.

As you examined yourself in the vanity mirror, you wondered what Komisch would say when he saw you. Would he be speechless? You already knew he thought you were attractive, so he might think you were even more attractive when you were dressed up. Maybe so attractive in fact, that he wouldn't be able to help but kiss you and plant marks of his deep affection on your bare neck and shoulders, so that everyone in the manor would know you were spoken for.

However, you warned yourself not to be too hopeful, as reality was often disappointing.

When you stepped into the ballroom, you were greeted by the joyous melodies of Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik". It seemed everyone in the coven was present, dressed in voluminous gowns and shiny black boots. You craned your neck to find the beast's blue locks among the crowd but to no avail.

Suddenly someone shouted loudly, "Look, It's [Y/N]!".

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at you. Even the musicians stopped playing. You stood there like a deer in headlights, and wondered why it was so warm in the room all of a sudden. You smiled awkwardly.

"Now everyone, it isn't very nice to put them on the spot like that. Everyone will have a chance to talk to them at some point tonight." Your mother warned as she approached you.

The coven then resumed what they'd been doing as your mother led you to a seat at your parents' table.

Abruptly she pulled you into a hug. "Darling, I'm so glad you're home! When they'd taken you away so many years ago...I thought...well I thought..."

Your father must've sensed she was about to start crying in public, so he said, "Now, now, no need to dwell on upsetting memories. Tonight is a night of joy! [Y/N] has returned at last and that is all that matters!"

"Yes, yes, you're right." Your mother agreed as she dabbed at her face with her handkerchief.

Suddenly the song changed to Frédéric Chopin's Nocturne No. 1. You were immediately taken back to the night you and Komisch met for the first time.

"Father, where is Komisch?"

"Over there entertaining a few of your cousins."

You looked over and saw him surrounded by 3 women and a man. He was contorting his body in different ways reminiscent of a circus performer. You couldn't really hear what he was saying but one of the cousins was laughing like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.

"Yes, your little travel companion is quite a novelty around here. I don't think I've seen anything quite like him. Humans do come in some odd shapes, don't they?" Your father commented.

"He isn't a human, he's a vampire."

"Is he now?" Your father replied as if he didn't truly believe you.

Before you could get up to go talk to Komisch, your father stood and extended his hand. "May I have the privilege of your first dance?" You didn't want to break his heart so you agreed.

After the dance, you tried to sneak off once more but your father had other plans in mind.

"[Y/N], you remember your Uncle Adrian, don't you?" He asked, gesturing to a tall man standing beside him.

"Um..."

Your father laughed. "You'll have to excuse them, Adrian. They've been lost to us for quite a long time."

"Of course. There's no telling what kinds of things were done to your pretty little head."

Uncle Adrian asked for a dance as well, and because you wanted to be polite, you accepted. You ended up somewhat regretting that because your uncle wasn't a very good dancer. He held you too close and the feeling this brought you reminded you of the gross man in the truck that Komisch had killed.

The night went on like this. Your mother or father would introduce you to some family member you couldn't recall and you'd make small talk or share a dance with them. After a while, you'd lost track of Komisch's whereabouts.

You pushed through the hustle and bustle to find your mother. "Where is Komisch?"

"Who, dear?"

"My travel companion? You know, the one with the blue hair."

"Ooooooooh....I don't know. I saw him talking to your cousin Silvia earlier but I haven't seen him since. Why? Do you fancy him?" She asked curiously.

"I don't know." You replied hastily before rushing to the exit, hoping that if you were fast enough, you'd be able to catch Komisch before he left for good.

Once encompassed by the silence of the dark hallway you called his name. There was no reply.

You walked with a little more pep in your step and called his name again urgently.

"What???" He whined, "I came out here to get away from the noise."

You breathed a sigh of relief. "You're still here."

"Well, yeah. Your old man hasn't fixed my RV or given me prize money yet."

"Oh. Sorry." You said awkwardly.

"It's fine."

You stood there, rocking on your heels a bit.

"You look...nice tonight." You offered. "I've never seen you wear anything other than ill-fitting clothes."

He glanced over at you. "You do too...about the looking-good thing, not the ill-fitting clothes thing."

You smiled and carefully sat down next to him. "Thank you! You should...wear form fitting clothing more often! They show off your shape. Well, the little one that you have at least."

He chuckled at your quip. "That's the exact opposite of what I want. I can't wait to peel these off." He said as he unapologetically picked out his wedgie.

"So...how do you feel about all this? The party, my family, the manor..."

"I'm...somewhat overwhelmed." He admitted. "I'm not used to being in the company of so many people at once, and I'm certainly not used to being the center of attention. I...also haven't had many good experiences with other vampires...so being in the presence of so many brings back memories I rather not remember."

"Are these the memories from earlier? The ones that came when we were eating the bacon-pancake-hybrid baby?"

He chuckled at the reference, but he sounded tired. "No, these are different. They're just about my biological father...he was a vampire too...and he wasn't very nice to me."

"Aha! So that's where you get it from!" You exclaimed jokingly.

But he didn't laugh or smile as he stared at the floor. "Yeah, I guess..." He muttered.

He stood abruptly. "But I'm glad that we finally made it here. Everyone is so happy to see you...I-It's honestly kinda sweet. But anyways, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna turn in early."

"Wait, we haven't even shared a dance yet!"

"I'm...not much of a dancer. Besides, your hoity-toity rich bitch music is slow and boring."

"Alright, alright, I got it. You don't dance. Suppose I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

He shrugged. "Eh. I guess."

He turned and began to slowly amble away.

"Goodnight, Komisch." You called after him.

"Goodnight, [Y/N]."

===

The next morning you were awakened by a servant shuffling around in your room. She must've seen you stretching for she said, "Good morning, Miss [Y/N]. Did you rest well?"

You nodded. It had been quite some time since you'd slept in a real bed with a real, high-quality mattress, pillows, and covers.

"That's good to hear. It's time for your morning bath, I've already heated the water for you."

You slid out of bed onto the rug that protected your tootsies from the wooden floor (made chilly by having the windows open all night).

After your warm bath, your hair was washed, your skin was powdered, your teeth were brushed, your body was dressed, your hair was styled, and your face was made up. You were glad to be home but you'd forgotten how much time it took to make yourself presentable in the eyes of the coven. In the RV, you'd just get up, brush your teeth, get dressed and you were good.

The maid led you to the dining hall for your first breakfast since your arrival.You were served a Spanish omelet, sausage, and bacon, with a cup of fresh fruit and a glass of blood. The moment you bit into the bacon you could tell it had been sourced from a regular old pig and not a human. You were disappointed.

As you scanned the room, you couldn't see Komisch anywhere. You took a sip from your glass of blood and noticed the taste wasn't as vibrant and fresh as it had been when you and Komisch fed from the traveler in the woods.

"Mother, where is Komisch?"

"He'd arrived earlier but he rudely took his plate and left the table without a warning. You honestly need to take better care in managing the company you keep, dear--"

Before you could allow her to finish, you took your plate and left the table as well. Your mother called after you but you pretended you didn't hear. You had one of the servants inform you where Komisch's guest room was located and you made your way there.

"Jeez! Hasn't anyone taught you to knock?! I could've been naked in here!" Komisch exclaimed, mid-chew, when you barged in.

You ignored his complaining and asked, "Why aren't you at the breakfast table with the rest of the coven?"

"Uh, because I don't want to be? I already explained to you last night that I don't do large crowds."

"Well," You said as you set your plate down on the coffee table near a chair near the bed and sat down, "You'll get used to it soon enough."

He swallowed his bite. "No I won't, and I don't intend to stay long enough to find out. As soon as the RV's fixed and I get my reward I'm gettin' the heck outta here!"

"B-but why? What's wrong with the manor?"

He shrugged. "I'm not built for stayin' in one spot. All of my life I've been nomadic, either by desire or by force. I don't believe I'd be able to be happy with settling down. There's just so much of the world I haven't seen yet. Besides, I don't think I'd be able to fit in well in the coven anyway. I don't really like rich people and your family is low-key, kind of racist and they treat me like I'm some exotic pet you brought home with you."

"W-well I think that a little stability could do you some good. The manor has everything, and everything it doesn't have can be easily ordered. There's even a forest nearby and I know how much you love forests!"

"Thanks, but no thanks."

You sighed exasperatedly and covered your eyes with your hands. "I just...don't understand you..."

"Look [Y/N], when I escaped from The School, I didn't leave that sterile cage just to be thrust into another, more elegant one--the only difference is who owns it, and nobody owns Komisch van Beethoven."

You crossed your arms. "Fine. If you're going, I'm going with you."

He laughed. "No, you're not."

"Why not?"

"Why not?! [Y/N], the whole reason we came here was to bring you home. If you just leave this would've all been for nothing! Worst of all, I wouldn't get my reward!"

"Oh." You said, not even realizing what you'd just said. You wished he'd just forget the silly old money and take you as his reward instead. You decided you had nothing more to lose so you plowed on.

"Didn't you enjoy the time we spent together? Surely I've outgrown my liability status? Surely I mean more to you than a silly old check!"

"[Y/N], what the hell are you even talking about right now?" He groaned.

"I'm trying to say that I love you and I want to spend the rest of our eternity together! Whether that be at the manor or on the road, I don't care as long as we're together! And if you felt the same, you'd stick by my side!" You shouted.

Komisch stared at you silently, his eyes wide and his shoulders hunched as if he'd been uncomfortably put on the spot.

He sucked air through his teeth. "Ooh um--"

"What? What is it?"

He scratched the back of his head. "Uh, the thing is you're being irrational, [Y/N]. You need to calm down."

"Calm down?! Calm down!? This is no time for calming down! This is my big climatic love confession!" You shouted.

"That's just it--you don't love me. You couldn't possibly, we barely even know each other."

"But I do--"

"Then what's my favorite color?" He asked, sliding out of bed, "My favorite color? My parents' names? What do I do for a living? When's my birthday? Where's my birthplace? What's my favorite food? My least favorite food? My hobbies? Can you answer any of that, [Y/N]?"

You said nothing.

"That's what I thought. But don't fret, I can't answer those questions for you either." He admitted as he gently patted your head.

"No, you've just come down with a bout of the crazies, but where I'm from they call that Stockholm Syndrome."

"Stockholm Syndrome..." You repeated the familiar term slowly.

"Yeah! Just think about it: The moment we left the facility your survival has been dependent on my satisfaction. If you made me unhappy, you ran the risk of getting kicked out and booted onto the street. So you played along, reluctantly doing what I said until you tricked yourself into believing you were doing those things because you were in love and not because your life depended on it. You said, 'well he hasn't kicked me out yet so surely he must care about me to some degree', but you see [Y/N], that's where you're wrong." He said in a suddenly harsher tone.

"I don't care about you. I've only been in this for the money from the start! And now that I've done my job, whatever you thought this was, is over."

"B-but...but..." Your voice trembled and big fat tears ran down your cheeks.

"But whaaaAaaAat?!" He whined, heartlessly mocking you.

"I-I..I thought--"

"WELL, YOU THOUGHT WRONG! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

He took his glass of blood and splashed it all over you, ruining your beautiful outfit and causing you to shriek. You ran away, your heart violently ripped in two and stomped into dust. It felt as if your heart had been destroyed and mangled beyond repair. It hurt in a way that was hard to describe. There was no visible wound but it felt as if your entire body had been thrusted into the sunlight.

Beethoven, who had hidden beneath the bed during the commotion, hissed. "That was completely uncalled for! If you didn't like them, you could've just as easily let them down gently! This is exactly why I can't take you anywhere!"

Komisch sat down on the bed. "I couldn't. I had to sever the nerve completely."

"Pardon?"

"I wasn't just about to sit here and watch them waste their eternity pining after me. This way they'll hate me, so it will be easier for them to move on and forget about me."

Beethoven scowled. "You don't get to decide what is and isn't a waste--"

"Well I wasn't about to let them make that decision. They're young and impulsive. They've got a good thing goin' here at the manor, with a family that seems to love and care about them an awful lot. Heck, they threw a whole party when they heard they'd come home, even though they've been gone for so long....I wouldn't feel right taking them away from that." Komisch explained.

"These vampires could've been your family, too." Beethoven pointed out.

Komisch shook his head. "I can tell they don't like me very much, aside from the fact I brought their kid back. They've probably got an arranged marriage to some hot prince or something in the works already. I wasn't going to make them choose between me and their folks."

Beethoven sighed, but he could see their was no convincing his friend, so he decided to angrily groom himself instead.

____

After Komisch's outburst, you couldn't bring yourself to get out of bed. How was everyone else able to be all happy and smiling while it felt like your world was caving in around you? You didn't want to be around that noise.

After a few hours of laying in bed, sobbing, eating, and sobbing some more, you recovered the strength to get up and be around people.

You went to your parents' room, where they were having tea with a few other senior members of the coven.

"How are you feeling, dear? We heard about what the savage did to you. I regret giving him that money or fixing his silly old motorhome." Father said.

"You mean--"

"Komisch is gone, child. And good riddance, too. Hooligans like that will never have a place here, I can't believe he has the nerve to call himself a vampire. Maybe they're dirty and poor where he's from, but either way, he wasn't good enough for a member of the [L/N] family." Mother asserted. The other family members silently nodded in agreement.

"Would you like some tea?" Father offered. You accepted, taking a window seat so you could look at the scenery while the adults conversed quietly amongst themselves.

But as you stared, your mind was filled with the memories of the before. Aliah and the other captive vampires, The Program, The School, the escape, the RV, Beethoven, the Vitamin-C book, the E.T. finger....you sighed deeply.

There were many fish in the sea, and if Komisch wanted to be nasty and cruel then you would just have to let him go. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment. He was crazy anyway, and you were foolish to ever want him.

But still...as you looked down upon the estate with its stone paths and marble fountains, you couldn't deny that the beast had captivated you.