(Y/n): H-Help me!

The battle was fierce. Cabbages outnumbered your party of adventurers 10 to 1, but in the end, the cabbage menace was slaughtered. Your magic had turned those cabbages into iceberg lettuce(Heh) and you claimed victory with your comrades. Now you were in a completely new battle.

Female Adventurer 1: He's so cute!

Female Adventurer 2: He's adorable! Can I keep him as a pet?

(Y/n): I-I'm not a p-pet!

There was a brief moment of silence. You sighed in relief a bit.

All Female Adventurers: KAWAII!!!

(Y/n): Please stop p-pulling me!

You were being pulled back and forth amongst two girls before your eyes caught those of an upset looking Darkness. Darkness? Perfect! You managed to pull yourself before rushing into Darkness and threw your arms around her and resting your face on her chest. This was the exact moment you realized in the fight she no longer had chest plating. So... her rather um... voluptuous? erm, assets were pressed into your face.

(Y/n): Help me Darkness!

Darkness: I um well I...

(Y/n): Please. 

You tried to push yourself back and took a firm and strong grip on her breast by accident. Darkness' face flashed deep red before she let out a soft moan. You face exploded in crimson from embarrassment and a possible nosebleed.

Darkness: You naughty boy...

(Y/n): I didn't... I didn't I er um...!

You quickly turn to the group of female adventurers gathered around the two of you.

(Y/n): I'm sorry ladies, but I can't come with you because um...

Female Adventurer 1: Why?

(Y/n): Because I um... we-

Female Adventurer 2: Tell us cutie.

(Y/n): You're not m-making it easy!

Female Adventurer 1 and 2: Just tell us!

(Y/n): Because... Because... oh!

You got an idea you threw your arm around Darkness' shoulders and pulled her close.

(Y/n): My girlfriend wouldn't like that! 

Darkness: Girlfriend?!

All Female Adventurers: Girlfriend?!

Aqua and Megumin: Girlfriend?!

(Y/n): Yep!

Megumin: When did this happen?!

Aqua: How did this happen?!

(Y/n): It happened during the battle. she guarded my life against those cabbages and I saw how perfect and beautiful she was and couldn't stand not being by her side. So I asked her out and that's how it happened.

Aqua: I don't believe it.

You head whipped toward Aqua and you shot her an angry look that she must not have noticed.

Aqua: Prove it.

(Y/n): W-What?

Aqua had an evil smirk on her face as she thought about something.

Aqua: Prove to us she is your girlfriend.

Megumin: A-Aqua?!

(Y/n): U-Uh sure. 

(Y/n) in mind: Quick brain what's something cliche we can do to get us out of this situation?!

(Y/n)'s Brain: I've got you, buddy.

It might have been you, but your brain seemed really smug at that moment. Your arms moved without your express command, actually in reality if it was your brain it technically was you, but you were unprepared for the sudden movement nonetheless. You brought your hands to the small of Darkness' back and leaned her back as you took a step forward. Darkness yelped in surprise and wrapped her arms around you pulling herself toward you to the point your noses touched slightly. You then breathed in deeply before closing your eyes and pressing your lips to Darkness' If your eyes hadn't been closed so tightly it is likely your eyes would have rolled out of your head on how wide they would be right now. You expected Darkness to pull away and slap you into another oblivion, but she didn't. In fact, she didn't fight back in the slightest. She pulled you closer to her as your kiss deepened. 

Aqua: Eh?.... WHAT?!

Megumin:*Choking noises*

All Female Adventurers: Awwwwwww! 

The group of women slowly dispersed as they came to the realization you were with another. Your kiss with Darkness remained until the last female adventurer walked off reluctantly back to town. Once you were sure it was just you and your party, you pulled yourself and Darkness up and detached yourself from her. Both of you had burning red faces. Darkness had a slight smile until it turned into a frown and she raised her hand. She swung it and slapped you across the face.

(Y/n): W-What was that for?!

Darkness: That was for being perverted!

(Y/n): I had t-

Aqua: You idiot!

Aqua proceded to slap your other cheek leaving a bright red hand mark on your face.

(Y/n): Who are you call-

Megumin: Y-You big jerk!

Megumin jumped up and brought her staff down on your head. You cried out before falling back onto the grass with swirls in your eyes.

(Y/n): O-Owie...

Darkness: What c-could have possibly g-going through your head to d-do such a thing?!

(Y/n): Well I had to get those girls to go away and nobody would help me so I had to figure something out on my own!

Megumin: So you kiss her?!

(Y/n): What else was I suppose to do?! 

Megumin: Literally everything else! You disappoint your wise master!

(Y/n): Please forgive me! I'm sorry! I didn't know what to do!

Kazuma: What happened?

Aqua: (Y/n) was being a pervert!

Kazuma: I'm so disappointed in you (Y/n).

(Y/n): You stole my underwear a few hours ago you creep!

Kazuma: I didn't know that would happen!

(Y/n): Look can we just... Idk claim our reward for these cabbages already?

Megumin: Hmph... Alright.

Timeskip.

After several hours of collecting cabbages, you and the rest of your party traveled back to the guild. With Darkness becoming an official member it was going to make things a lot more interesting. Especially considering she has requested you to firmly grasp her breast like you did before multiple times since then. You would avoid the question and turn back to the reward you were given. You managed to rake in $800 thousand smackeroos in reward money.  And you made sure to use it for the greater good. You smiled as you walked into the guild with your newly acquired upgrade when a very upset Aqua griped your shoulders and shook you slightly.

Aqua: (Y/n) how much did you make on that last mission?!

(Y/n): I made 800 thousand.

The girls gawked at you before Aqua put on a flirtatious smile and used a finger to trace your jawline.

Aqua: Would you mind if I borrw-

(Y/n): I already spent it all.

Aqua: Huh?!

Darkness: What did you buy?

(Y/n): This!

You pulled your new upgrade from your back and thrust it up in the air.

(Photo belongs to Original owners)

Megumin, who had been rubbing up against her staff stopped and ran over to you.

Megumin: That staff is a shadow staff. I thought you could only use Ice and Electricity.

(Y/n): After that mission, I got a surprising amount of Exp and used it to allow myself shadow magic. Oh and to say I'm sorry for kissing Darkness I learned explosion magic just for you Megumin.

Megumin smiled brightly and threw her arms around your chest. You blushed and tried to pry her off, but she was extremely strong for some reason.

Megumin: You finally joined the path of explosions! Now your true training begins!

(Y/n): Thank you oh wise master Megumin!

Kazuma: You better get some rest (Y/n).

(Y/n): Why?

Kazuma: These girls are going nuts and I think you need a good nights sleep before something weird or cliche happens tomorrow.

(Y/n): It seems pretty early, but I can see your point. Plus I should go check on my chips.

You gave Kazuma a thumbs up before sneaking out amongst an upset Aqua and two other confused girls. You returned to the stable and looked around before walking to the tree to check on your chips. The box was intact and when you opened it the chips were in place. You sighed in relief and placed a kiss on top of the piled up chips. Then you closed the box and walked into the stable. Your glasses where gracefully pulled off your face and you placed them on the barrel before diving face first into the hay and began counting frogs until you drifted to sleep. You had a weird feeling that something weird was going to happen tomorrow. Especially if some otherworldly force had anything to say about it(Me!).