???: So I've finally returned. All this time I waited in the darkness waiting for a light to reveal the path forward for me. I do not know what the world holds for me but... I do know this. There is always a light in the darkness-

Darkness: Yes I'm Darkness?

Kazuma: That's my thing! Now can you stop with the stupid monologue and help us?!

It was soon revealed that Kazuma was sitting in a cart racing off into the distance away from a dark cloud of dust. This cart also housed the driver, Wiz, Megumin, and Aqua. And the sounds of strangled moans and yelps in the distance is Darkness tangled in a rope and being dragged by said cart. Now you're most likely wondering how we got here? Ah yes well, it all started with-

Kazuma: No no no! We're not doing a flashback! We've kinda got a bunch of running hawk kites on our tail! That and I'm pretty sure (Y/n) Is dead?

What? Now I'm sure that can't be right- Right as that was said the cart hit a spectacular bump and the seemingly lifeless, bandage-covered, body of you flew up, smacking face-first into a wooden beam before flopping back to the bottom of the cart.

(Y/n): L-Light... darkness...

Aqua: A-Ah no no no none of that! Don't go into the light and don't even think of Darkness!

The cart bumbled along, dust kicking up under its wheels as the sounds of the approaching horde of birds grew closer in between Darkness and her weird moans and groans. The blue haired goddess stumbled toward the back of the cart toward the strange noises to heal the crusader and also somehow managed to step onto your stomach using it as pedastal to propel herself safely forward. 

Aqua: Sorry (Y/n)! Heal, heal, heal heal, heal!

Wiz took the time and try and prop your head up, trying to avoid any unnecessary damage to your head. Truthfully, everyone was worried about the fact your personality seemed to change at the drop of a hat. And everyone was hoping you would be back to normal soon, except Aqua who was still waiting for her chance to get a (Y/n) of her very own. The cart once more hit a bump and your head slipped from Wiz's hands and smacked against the floor. Your (E/c) eyes slide open and your hand lifted to gaze upon your bandandge-covered fingers.

(Y/n): What... happened... I feel like I was used as a piece of comedy rather than a serious emotional character...

Megumin: Eh... kinda... I did like the weird suit (Y/n) though.

Aqua: Don't you dare mention him again! Why can't I get my own (Y/n)?! Wait...

It was then Aqua thought about something... before turning slowly to look at you. A chill would have run down your spine had you not been dazed. The goddess took this moment to move away from the opening in the cart to move over your body, accidentally stepping on your knee before standing over you. Now we could answer the age old question of what Aqua wears but you didn't get to look up for long as Aqua promptly dropped your head, allowing the back of your skull to collide with the tumbling wooden floor. Aqua let her hands grasp each other before rubbing them like a villainess as she awaited to see what personality she had you download this time. As your eyes peeled back open you couldn't help but glare up at the goddess.

(Y/n): What the hell... Aqua that hurt!

You declared, trying to lift yourself back up just in time for the cart to speed up, the change in force throwing your head back into the floor.

Megumin: Aqua, quit tying to change him! We just got him back to normal!

Aqua: Ah! You're just saying that cause you got your own (Y/n) with the funny suit! Even Darkness got flirted with!

Darkness in the distance: Awwwwhhhh~!

Wiz: P-Please stop this! We just need to make sure he doesn't hit his head anymore! Eh... where is (Y/n)?

The three girls looked down to try and find where you had gone. You had just... vanished! It was then they heard a chuckle. Looking up they found you standing at the edge of the cart, staring at Darkness and the rapidly approaching kites. Your hand rested on your hip while your chin rested on your free hand, your fingers closed to allow your chin to brush against your knuckles.

Megumin: Um... (Y/n)?

Your gaze turned to the girls with a grin.

(Y/n): Hmmhmm~

Aqua: What are... you-

Your body shifted suddenly, pointing your finger toward the blue haired goddess, then past her toward the front of the cart.

(Y/n): Tsugi ni omae wa... "Yes, I'm Kazuma" to'yo!

Kazuma: Yes I'm Kazuma wait what? Ahhh! Don't distract me while I'm using my bow!

Kazuma who had been summoned by the mention of his name quickly ducked his head back to the top of the cart where he tried to slow down the horde of birds. Back inside the cart the girls only grew more confused.

Wiz: Is this one of those reference things you told me about?

Aqau: I think? Oi (Y/n) do you like me?

Your body twisted again, popping your hip out before presenting your palm to the girl.

(Y/n): That depends... how old are you exactly?

Aqau: Huh? N-Now come on what would that have to do with anything?!

(Y/n): From your reaction and denial... I've got it!

Your neutral face turned into a glare and your rigid form pointed at the useless goddess.

(Y/n): You're really old!

Aqau: I am not old!

You didn't get much longer to exist as this reference before the cart bumped and you lifted off the wood, smacking into he top of the cart before thudding to the floor thanks to Megumin holding your foot to prevent you flying out the back. Aqua was an emotional wreck at being called old, Megumin was trying to prevent you from dying, and Wiz had no idea what was going on. And of course Darkness was still Darkness.

Megumin: (Y/n) snap out of it!

(Y/n): I'm Commander (L/n) and this is my favorite store on the-

Aqua: How dare you call me old and change personalities! No way!

Aqua pulled your leg away from Megumin to allow for your head to gracefully smack into one of the wooden benches. Your head lifted softly to find your hair slicked into some sort of loose style with a slight brown tint to your hair. How the...

(Y/n): Let's go Jiraiya!

Aqua: Ahhhh! What are you trying to summon now?! Why won't you just get a normal personality?!

Wiz decided to take the initiative and pulled your leg from Aqua.

Wiz: S-Stop this! You keep making him hit his head!

Of course thanks to logic this resulted in her pulling your leg in tune to a shift in the cart, sliding your body across the cart floor to smack into the bench opposite the on you just hit. As you eyes peeled open your body shifted, trying to finally pull your head away from dangerous situations.

Kazuma: Megumin get your magic ready!

Megumin: Y-Yes!

You finally managed to get to a standing position as the cart came to a stop. As Megumin set about using her magic to seal the kites that ran into the strange round cave before you, your body turned from the group to gaze into the sunlight. In a moment of respite and comfort under the warm gaze of the sun, you hopped out of the cart. In a moment of clarity you walked over to Darkness. She still held a lewd look upon her face but your hand rested against her forehead. 

(Y/n): You did good my friend.

Darkess: Eh? 

You stepped past her and found a... red feather. You took the feather and slipped it between your head and ear before looking up into the blazing sunlight. This was it. Your hands lifted into the sky, your body forming an almost Y-shape as you bellowed.

(Y/n): Praise the sun!

The girls and Kazuma as well as the confused driver had no idea what you were doing but it probably was one of those reference things. The others were dismayed you had returned for a moment only to get your head smacked around except for a useless goddess. 

Aqua: The sun... that's pretty close to water! You need sun and water and stuff to grow things! So this is my chance to shine! This is my (Y/n)! Hahah!

The goddess declared this proudly, the other party members giving her a weird stare as they hoped the sun that you praised could save you from the water goddess and her desperate clutches. Perhaps once you complete this journey and make it to the hot springs you will be back to normal... or at least safe from Aqua.