Je sais pas si je vais continuer, et si je le fais ce sera sur mon deuxième recueil KL, mais ça m'a amusé : 

Ugo : I accidentally indulged in too much 'Me Time'

Ugo : Turns out, I've been reported missing for six months and presumed dead by most locals and national authorities.

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Namadia : You say 'please' and 'thank you' in front of your younger siblings all the time and they never repeat it.

Namadia : But when you say 'Fuck' ONCE-

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Sam : I was so angry at everything when I was 13, and I was right.

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Laurent : I fucked up.

Claude : We. We fucked up.

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Clémence, about l'île des bannis : We call that a traumatic event.

Clémence, turning to Clémentine : Not a 'bruh moment'

Clémence, turning to Candice : Not a 'major L'

Clémence, turning to Ugo : And definitely not an 'OOF lmao'

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Loïc : My middle name is Danger.

Jade, booping him on the nose : That's a lie, your middle name is cutie pie.

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Claude : You're the only woman I know who can actually take delicious lemonade and turn it into lemons.

Coumba : Sugar is bad for you.

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Teheiura : If you wake up much earlier than normal, you feel secret emotions.

Phil : One time I just woke up at 7am and stared at the sunrise for an hour. Don't know what emotions those were but they sure were a lot.

Laurent : If you stay up late enough, you feel those same emotions, but the bad version of them.

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Maxime : I'm hardcore, made of steel, and haven't felt an emotion since 2004.

Cindy : I caught you crying over baby turtles just two hours ago.

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Alix : Carpe Diem.

Alexandra : Fish of the day ?

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Patrick : Why are you so pissed off all the time ?

Karima : *Pulls out a fifty-foot-long scroll*

Karima : Reason number one out of two thousand four hundred and-

Patrick : Okay, okay ! I get it, there's a lot !

Karima : *smirks before proceeding to roll the scroll up and put it back in her bag*

Patrick : You just carry that thing with you everywhere ?

Karima : I get asked a lot.

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Freddy : Claude, where are you going ?

Claude : Well, that depends, Freddy. When I die, probably to Hell, but right now, I'm going to the bathroom.

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Christelle : Clémentine, would it kill you to take a salad roll instead of a hot dog in your friday lunch order ?

Clémentine : My usual order is pizza, and yes, it would kill me. I will probably, definitely die.

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Denis : This kind of idiocy will not be tolerated.

Laurent : Is there another kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with ?

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Claude : I can't believe it. All these people dressed in black. All-black was my thing, and now everyone's doing it to be 'cool'. They're all posers.

Patrick : Claude, I cannot stress this enough. We are at a funeral.

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Sam : I don't know if he even likes me back.

Teheiura : Nonsense ! Loïc would jump off a cliff for you !

Sam : Loïc would jump off a cliff for fun !

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Alix : It's not the destination that matters. It's the huge amount of enemies you made along the way.

Namadia : You're going to jail.

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Ugo : Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by.

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*On the phone*

Teheiura : How'd you get this number ?

Sam : Tehe, I'm your son.

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Christelle : Where have you been ?! You left your cellphone in your desk and I assumed you were dead !

Jade : Uh, I would clearly be buried with my phone.