Chapter 8: The Flames of Disaster Part 2
Not long, Wade wakes up from his consciousness and is no longer inside the cage, but still feels dizzy.
Wade asks, "Where am I?"
"I'll tell you where you are, Wade,"A voice that belongs to Pachacamac appears.
Wade screams in fright. Then Pachacamac screams in fright.
Pachacamac stops screaming and says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down."
Wade stops screaming as well,
"Here, let me make you more comfortable," Pachacamac says, and changes into a bowling outfit.
"Whoa," Wade says, surprised.
"Let's try again. I'll tell you where you are, Wade," Pachacamac says, "The Great Battleground in the Sky!"
Wade hears clattering and looks around to find himself in a bowling alley.
Wade is confused, "The Great Battleground in the Sky is a bowling alley?"
"Well, for you it is," Pachacamac answers.
He then says, "For most people, this place has more of a Florida feel, with all-you-can-eat shrimp. But this is your battleground."
"Okay," Wade replies, and asks, "Who are you?"
Pachacamac introduces himself, "My name's Pachacamac."
Hearing the name, Wade says, "Wait. Knuckles told me about you! You're the legendary leader of the Echidna tribe!"
"In the flesh, baby!" Pachacamac says.
"Well, it's an honor to meet you, Chief, um..." Wade says, but isn't sure how to say his name.
"Pachacamac," Pachacamac confirms.
"Yeah. Chief... Pamachacaw," Wade says, but pronounces it wrong.
Pachacamac says, "Pachacamac."
"Parmesan," Pachacamac clarifies.
Soon, Wade and Pachacamac begin to pronounce the name, but differently. "Pa. Peh. Cha. Jor. Ca. Mar. Mac. Za."
Then Pachacamac says, "You know what? Mac's fine."
"Okay," Wade replies.
"If that's... easier for you. I certainly have no problem with the correct pronunciation," Wade says.
"Yeah, right," Pachacamac says.
Soon, Wade begins to connect the dots, "Wait, things are starting to make some obviously clear and logical sense. Knuckles must've sent me here because this is my next lesson. Hold on. Are you gonna teach me something amazing and essential to my real-life predicament?"
"I'm not just going to teach it to you, Wade," Pachacamac says, "I'm going to have it sung to you as part of a low-budget rock opera. Now, please open your mouth," and brings out a staff with a blue stone on it.
Wade is not comfortable with it, "Um, I'm not really comfortable with that," and nervously laughs.
"Just do it, man," Pachacamac casts his magic, "Rainbow!"
And out of the stone of his staff is a rainbow.
"I'm actu..." Wade tries to explain, but the rainbow travels into his mouth.
And moments later, Wade finds himself in a body suit costume that has Knuckles' fur color and the same white crescent mark on the chest.
And soon enough, rock opera music begins to glow as a banner comes down that reads, "Knuckles the Echidna in 'The Flames of Disaster'" Soon, another banner appears that reads "Starring Wade Whipple as Knuckles. He soon looks ahead to see audience seats, and he is on the stage.
Wade is not sure of it, "Wait. I'm not in the show, am I?"
And suddenly, Pachacamac says through the PA system, "Prepare yourself, Wade, because if you want to learn where Knuckles' true strength lies, you must see this quest... through his eyes. You must become him."
Then two guys wearing black bodysuits put the hood over Wade's head, revealing that the costume has Knuckles' dreadlocks.
This is going to be awesome,"Wade says, but talks in Knuckles' voice.
Wade realizes, "Wait. I'm Knuckles? I mean..." and calls out, "I'm Knuckles!" making an echo.
"Hey, Wade, don't make this weirder than it already is," Pachacamac says, over the PA system.
"Got it! Good note! " Wade says.
And with that, the rock opera music begins playing again. And soon, a familiar voice begins to sing.
Voice:
On a glorious quest, quest
And guitar begins playing.
And soon, it's revealed to be Jack, playing a guitar and is dressed like an owl with feathers.
Jack says, "Hello, Wade."
"Jack?" Wade says, confused.
Jack continues playing.
Jack:
For glory
Wade is even more confused, "Uh, what?"
Jack continues.
Jack:
What with his hands of stone and knees that never buckle
Come and witness the tale
Of the warrior Knuckles, yeah!
And there's clapping in the background.
And then another banner comes down that reads, "Co-starring Jack Sinclair as Longclaw the Giant Owl."
Confused, Wade asks, "Uh, what is Jack Sinclair doing here?"
"Clearly, you two have unfinished business," Pachacamac answers.
"Ah, yeah, no, fair point. He does have me locked up in a giant cage right now. Uh, proceed!" Wade says.
And Jack continues.
Jack:
And now, we begin our quest
When our hero was only a lad
Wade is suddenly given a teddy bear and a pacifier is stuffed into his mouth. Jack continues singing.
Jack:
He was trained by the greatest, his dad
And suddenly. Wade's dad appears in another echidna costume.
Jack:
Had the technique and also the guts, guts, guts
He prepared to kick multiple butts, butts, butts
And suddenly the two end up practicing fighting.
And suddenly, a group of people in owl costumes appear and surround the two.
Jack:
But the giant owls, they did come
They had one mission, to kill everyone
Knuckles and Dad didn't know what to do
Yes, they were doomed!
The owl costume performers continue flapping their wings.
Jack:
The owls, they clawed and they kicked
Then the performers mimic the attack on Wade's dad.
Jack:
They hooted and flew into fits
They set fire to the town and burned it to the ground
I'm so freaking upset, I can't sing about it
And soon, Pete, Wade's dad is lying on the ground.
Wade calls out, "Father, you can't leave me."
"I won't, son. I never..." The puppet says, before he groans and mimics death.
Wade screams, "No!"
Jack continues singing the performance as he switches the music to a melancholy piano.
Jack:
Some things can't be fixed, even with big gloves
Saddest story that you ever heard of
Suddenly, Jack approaches Wade from behind.
"Can I go to the bathroom?" Wade asks.
" No, we're doing something," Jack answers.
But Wade says, "I really gotta go."
"Tough," Jack says.
And soon, intense rock music begins to play, and Jack sings.
Jack:
Now, Knuckles was sad and alone
Without a father and without a home
Chorus:
Giant owls killed his dad
Jack:
So off on his own, he just needed the power
And now the scene changes to Wade running across the stage in place with a background of a forest. The scene shows that Wade is traveling. With a powerful voice, Wade sings.
Wade:
I will find the Flames of Disaster...
Wade then collects some rings, making a video game sound effect.
Suddenly, another banner comes down where Jack is. It reads, Also Featuring The Voice of Michael Bolton
Jack:
Michael Bolton, everyone!
Soom, Wade hits his fist at the box, opening it, so he collects the ring.
Chorus:
A glorious quest for glory
Wade continues running through the stage, which makes him go around in a loop as he collects the rings and through a tunnel.
Wade:
I need to find the Flames of Disaster
Chorus:
A glorious quest for glory
Wade continues on and soon gets attacked by robotic bees, causing him to fall
Jack:
But the power was no simple task
Too many obstacles lay in his path
He then spins the sign that has Knuckles' picture and a picture of some monster. The performer stops at the monster.
Soon, Wade finds himself in a different place.
Jack:
Stinking to high heaven, needing a bath
That's when he saw the demon made of fire and ash
Who said
Soon, the curtains open to reveal a frightening monster as Jack continues singing. And then the effects of smoke
Monster:
I'm gonna burn you alive till you're crisp
Then boil your bones and eat you like a fish
Then I might hit Facebook Marketplace up
Might be some deals on some freaking cool stuff
Jack:
But our hero went back to the start
Saw that the strength was deep inside his
As the performance continues, a balloon comes to Wade, and he uses his knuckles to pop it.
Soon, the music stops.
Jack:
Heart!
But Wade interrupts, "My fists! The secret is in my fists! That's right. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks, everybody! Got it. Could've been an email!"
And the lights turn on, causing the show to stop.
But Pachacamac What? No! Hey, wait! That's not the right lesson!"
"I got it from here! I know exactly what to do!" Wade says, and leaves through the door.
Soon enough, Wade wakes up from his unconsciousness.
"Of course," Wade says, and stands up, "Time to unleash the source of my true power. My fists." but when Wade tries to punch the bar, he gets a very bad electrical shock.
Making Wade cry out,"Why did I think that would be a good idea?!" and falls over again
"Seriously, do not touch bars," The computer says.
"Oh, I shoulda listened to the rest of the story. Take me back, Chief Macamacachalkadoo," Wade says, before losing consciousness again.
And soon enough, Wade returns to the theater.
Jack soon says, "Well, well, well, look who's back. You gonna let us finish now?"
"Yes, sir. I apologize," Wade says.
"Great," Jack says.
And with that, the music starts all over again.
Jack:
Yahoo
Hoo...
Yow!
Are you ready? Let's go
And with that, the monster begins to roar with smoke appearing, and fire extinguishers get sprayed on Wade.
Wade shouts, "Okay! Okay! Thank you!"
And Jack continues to play the keytar and sings.
Jack:
But the demon was not impressed
By the puny red guy before him
He looked down and rolled his eyes
And then without any warning
Oh, my God
And soon, the performance continues with fireballs being fired by the monster and Wade, as Knuckles, glide past them.
Jack:
He used magic and lava
And before you even knew it
And suddenly, a giant fireball hits Wade, knocking him down to the ground.
Jack:
Knuckles was defeated, his mission uncompleted
He totally freaking blew it
Oh, my God, broken and vanquished
Our hero lay on the ground
And the demon screamed out
Monster:
You're going down
Unskilled, untrained
Then the owl performers appear behind Wade as he gets on his knees.
Monster and Chorus:
So unworthy
Monster:
Unskilled, untrained
Monster and Chorus:
So unworthy
Monster:
Unskilled, untrained
Monster and Chorus:
So unworthy, you suck
All:
You freaking suck
And now, I'm afraid this is the end of your story.
And soon, lightning zap and thunder rumbles.
In Michael Bolton's voice, Wde begins to sing.
Michael Bolton's voice:
Is it too late to find out where my strength lies?
I didn't feel it in my bones when I flew high
Jack continues to play and now in an angelic vocalizing, Wade continues.
Michael Bolton's voice:
It wasn't in the lightning coursing off of my skin
Could a warrior's true strength
Come from within?
And soon, a heart appears in front of Knuckles and it glows.
Jack:
And just when everyone counted him out
Knuckles rose up with a furious shout
Michael Bolton's voice:
Take heed, demon
We've entered our final fight
Now prepare for my glorious might
Monster:
You fool! Only I can be the power's master
Michael Bolton:
No, you're wrong 'cause now I wield
The Flames of Disaster!
Soon, Wade slams the fist together and they begin to glow. Then he flies towards the monster.
Jack:
It wasn't even close when our boy got going
A royal beatdown with flame fists a-glowing
And Wade begins beating up the monster.
Michael Bolton:
I've had this power right from the start
But now, I know the true strength lies
In a warrior's heart!
And with that, Wade flies up and strikes the monster down.
And for some crazy twist, Wade uses that power to break through the roof of the cage, catching everyone's attention from the limo, and making everyone come to a stop. Then Wade lands on the ground triumphant.
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