I spent the entire day going in and out my hospital room. From blood tests to an MRI. They are making sure my whole body is fine, and so far, it is. It seems that I have nothing. The only concern is my memory.

Right now I'm with a doctor, a specialist in memory loss cases. She asks me a lot of questions, just to make sure how much I can remember from the past, to give us a clue on how much I can remember.

She asks me about my childhood, that I remember. I tell her about my parents. I remember some things from high school but then it gets blurry. I try really hard to remember from there, but there's nothing.  She asks me about college, but I don't even remember what major I picked. It feels like if I fell asleep and I woke up here, many years later.

She then asks me if I remember things on the short term, things like: what did I eat yesterday or what was the first thing I remember when I opened my eyes. She says my short term memory is working. I can remember what I did yesterday when I woke up. I remember Harry, he was here when I opened my eyes. He's still here, in fact. He's outside waiting for the doctor to finish this 'interview'. I remember what I first ate. I remember the things we started writing on the list the doctor told us to write.

After the littlle interview, she calls Harry to come inside of the room.

"How is she?" He asks as soon as he enters.

"Well, her short term memory is fine, she remembers her life before until, let's say, sixteen years old. She's lucky, some patients don't even remember their own name." She says, she then turns to look at me. "What I recommend for this case is that you relearn what you lived through the years. You have great help around you. But I have to warn you, sometimes it's going to be difficult, you may get frustrated and that's completely normal."

It's still so weird to me to realize that I have lived so many years and that I remember anything of it. I play with my hands, I am frustrated. It feels as if they were lying but I know they are not.

"So... What should we do? Just... Tell her everything?" Harry asks, laying his back against the wall.

"Baby steps. I recommend starting with the most important things. If you have pictures, videos, to make Sienna familiar with everything again, that can help." The doctor looks at me giving me a smile. "We have to stay hopeful, in some cases, the memory can return."

"This is crazy." I say in a chuckle. I feel as if someone just robbed my identity.

"Don't lose hope. I'm sure you will be fine." The doctor says while standing up. "Harry, can we have a word outside?"

"Sure." He says, and then they leave.

I look at them talking outside the window.

I haven't got the chance to talk to him properly. Yesterday we were rounded by doctors and nurses. I got up for the first time yesterday, my legs are a bit weak. Then, my mom visited me. It felt nice to see a familiar face, she looks different, older. We didn't talk much but I'm looking forward on seeing her and dad, she didn't mention where he was.

Right now, I'm focused on the guy outside, I want to get to know him. I wonder what they are talking about. He nods as she speaks, as if taking orders from her. I also wonder how I met him. Maybe he's a guy from college, they said I went to college and graduated and everything.

My thoughts stop when I see him coming inside of the room again and the doctor leaving, disappearing in the hallway.

He smiles, sitting down on the chair that I feel like he has claim as his. There's silence between us, it makes me feel nervous inside.

"So..." I say to break the silence, after some seconds of him just staring at me.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know where to start." He says with a smile.

"What did she say?" I ask, playing with my fingers. 

"That... I need to start telling you about your life. I don't even know where to begin." He says, running a hand through his hair. 

"How about if you tell me... How we met." I say as an idea.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "No, I can't."

"Uh, why?" I say, confused. "Was it... Embarrassing?" 

"It's complicated, but... Yes, okay. I have to tell you the truth." He sits back, moving one hand to his mouth. "We met in a hotel bar, like, three years ago."

"Right. I'm old enough to drink." I say as a fact. "And... Did you introduce yourself or how was it?"

He moves his head from side to side, doubting if he should continue or not. 

"Kind of. I..." He chuckles, looking at me. "I saw you, you were at the bar with some friends. I went there and talked to you, I invited you a drink and we had a little good time. Um..." He moves his eyes up, trying to avoid eye contact with me. "After, a lot of drinks... We were kind of drunk, both of us... One thing let to the other and... I invited you to... We went to... -No, I can't."

"Come on! Tell me." I say, sitting up. I'm curious. "What happened next?" 

"Sienna." He looks at me, his cheeks flush. 

"Please. What did we do next?" I ask, it sure sounds like a fun night. 

"Ugh, okay. We..." He coughs, moving his hand to his mouth. "We hooked up. As in, sex." 

"What?!" I gasp with a chuckle, opening my mouth. "No."

He nods. He looks sincered and somehow, ashamed.

I had sex, but... I had sex- with him. The night I met him. I can't believe this. I stay quiet, I'm astonished. Who am I? I lay down on the bed, thinking. 

Sex has always been a weird concept for me. How does it feels like?

"Was it... good?" I ask. I don't remember losing my virginity but something tells me that he wasn't my first. I wouldn't say yes to a stranger if it was my first. Right?

He nods. "The parts I remember, yeah. It was good." 

"Were you my first?" I ask, just to make it clear. He shakes his head no. "What happened next?"

"Uh, well. I was just visiting Miami at the time and... I left to a different city the next day and that was it. We didn't even change numbers." He says and I frown. "A one time thing."

"A one night stand. I can't believe this." I look at him while frowning.

"I know. But that night gave us the chance of meeting again in the future. You... This is weird to me, please understand." He takes a deep breath, running his hand through his hair, again, he then continues. "You got pregnant. Nine months later you called my phone while you were in labor. I didn't know you were pregnant until that exact moment."

"What." I sit up, I stay looking at my hands. So... I was pregnant. Twice, now. "Where are the... Kids?"

It's still crazy to me to know that I am a mother. And I don't remember them. It's very frustrating. 

"They're with their nanny. The doctor said it's better to give you some time to prepare yourself to meet them." He says, it makes sense. I'm not ready to see two kids that are mine but... I don't even remember having.

I feel like he notices I'm very much confused inside because he comes forward and holds my hand. I let him.

"Hey... It's okay. Baby steps, remember?" He says reassuringly. I nod my head slowly. "Do you want me to continue?"

I nod my head again. I'm very confused, it feels as if he's talking about someone else. It's my story, I need to be strong.

"After you delivered the baby I was around for some time but... I was very busy with work. I had to keep traveling around." He says, and I don't understand something. "That's why I don't know much of that part of your life." 

"Why did you travel so much? You're young to be a businessman." I point out.

He opens his mouth and then closes it. He smiles at me.

"I'm a singer." He says, the same smile on his face. "I'm in a band. Well, was, we recently separated."

I nod my head slowly. He's a singer. That explains the guitar and the song from yesterday. But... If he travels the world that would mean...

"So... Are you famous or something?" I ask, nervously.

"I don't like that word but... You could say that." He replies. I can't believe this.

I try to process all of this. I keep on frowning. It does frustrates me. I rest my back on the bed looking at the ceiling, trying to think. But there's nothing. I slept with him, I had a baby with him. Twice. I feel like I should know more of him and I don't. I'm blank.

"Harry?" I turn to look at him. His incredible green eyes look back at me. He's so patient to still be here with me.

"Yes, love?" He says with that caring voice.

"Are we together?" I ask. It's kind of a stupid question considering that he has been here since I woke up, he told me we slept together and we have children together but... I need to make sure of everything.

He nods his head. That makes sense.

"We have been together for some time now. I don't count the days but I can tell you, every single day has been perfect with you." He says leaning forwards with both of his hands in mine. "I really wish you could remember." 

I sigh, he speaks of it as this magnificent time we have spent together. I think I was happy with him, at least I know he was happy with me. I guess I was very lucky, still am. He's here, he's trying his best. This stranger, he's being so patient. It brings butterflies to my stomach. 

Was I a good mom too? 

It seems that I was. It's weird to think that I am a mother but I still feel this big responsibility, it's strange to even try to understand the feeling.

"I... I want to meet them. The kids." I say, feeling so strange but I feel like I have to.

"You sure?" He asks, biting on his bottom lip. I nod my head.

I'm a mom. Even if I don't remember them, I'm their mom. They need me.

"I will call Martha to bring them. I will be right back." He says, standing up and getting his phone.

-

I'm nervous. Completely nervous. Harry has been waiting with me in silence. I feel like he's nervous too. He said to me that they would be here in no time because they are staying five minutes away from here.

Right now Harry is looking out the window. I'm looking at his back.

I have to get used to being with him. We're together. He's my... Boyfriend? Husband? I don't know if we're married. I will have time to get those answers, right now I'm thinking of him. This must be difficult for him, too. He went through my coma, he's being so patient with me and so loving. I wonder if he has slept, I haven't seen him rest.

I have learned, just by the things he has done for me, that he loves me. Very much. It makes me feel giddy inside. 

Also, how did I end up with a musician? A famous one? Huh. Who would have thought? I never thought I was cool enough, not enough to end up with someone like him. I'm sure he's very talented, all of him screams talent. His tattoos, his hair, his raspy voice, even the way he dresses. I want to hear his songs, also. But once again, I guess we will have time.

"Knock knock." We hear someone by my door. We both turn to look at the same time.

"Martha! You're here!" Harry says, walking towards the woman with gray hair.

She's holding a baby in her arms and is walking an older baby with the other. Are they my babies?

Everything happens so fast that it's hard for me to react.

"Mamamamama!" The little boy unholds her hand and comes running to me. Harry holds him before he reaches my bed.

"Easy, monkey. Come here." He holds him up. "Mama is up! See?" Harry says to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. He then turns to me, a comprehensive smile on his face. "Sienna, this is Jack. Jack, say hi to mama."

"Mamamama!" The kid tries to reach out for me. I just stay there, looking at him.

He's... My baby. I don't know what to do. If I should move or say something. I awkwardly smile, nervous.

"Do you want to hold him?" Harry asks. I nod slowly. "Careful, boy."

He sits Jack on the bed and he comes quick to hug me. I hug him back, moving him away after some seconds just to I can see him. He has Harry's eyes but his eyes are kind of blue-ish. And his smile, too, with the same dimple Harry has. It's like a tiny version of him. 

Jack.

"Hi." I say to him, I feel very fond of him. He's a beautiful baby boy. It feels strange, knowing that he is my son and that I feel like I missed his life. I'm sure those memories were beautiful.

"Mama, a nana." He babbles something that I clearly don't understand. He points towards my bedside table, where there's a banana next to a glass of water.

"A banana." I say to him, understanding now, he smiles with the three teeth of his mouth. "Do you want a banana little Jack?" He smiles excitedly, I reach for it and open it up for him.

I look at Harry, he is looking at me with loving and caring eyes, I think he is holding back his tears. I turn my eyes to Jack once again, I can't believe he's my baby. I can't belive I'm a mom.

"Jack, come sit here to eat your nana, yes?" Harry holds him up and places him on the chair, his chair. I look at Jack take a bite, it makes me smile, he's kind of messy.

Then, Harry goes back to Martha. He takes the other baby, coming to sit next to me on the bed, with his eyes looking down. He smiles lovingly, it melts my heart.

"Sienna, this is... Our little girl." He smiles so fondly at her. I feel butterflies in my stomach just looking at him being this loving and I'm just getting to know him. "She is Ivy. Ivy Rose."

He hands me the little baby. That's a beautiful name.

I look at her. Her eyes look just like mine, brown and big. Her nose is like mine, too. She has pinky cheeks. She's so beautiful. I... I'm speechless. Just some weeks ago she was inside of me and I don't.... I don't remember. A tear leave my eyes without me controlling it.

How am I going to forget something like this? So important?

I have to look away, the frustration I feel inside it's too overwhelming.

"Hey..." Harry moves a flick of my hair behind my ear. I look up, trying to erase the tears that are still forming. "How are you feeling?"

"I..." I let the tears fall. I look down, cleaning the tears. She is so beautiful. "I feel... so sad. So happy at the same time. So... Confused." I sniff, touching her little cheek. "She's perfect, Harry."

"She is." He says, I look at him and he is crying, too. But happy tears, I guess. He doesn't look sad.

"How can I forget something like her? I..." I have to hand her back to him. It's just too much. 

I hide my face with my hands while I feel the tears running, I'm so angry. At nothing specifically, but I'm angry. 

Why do I feel trapped inside my head? I feel as if there's some kind of door inside of my mind that is closed, keeping all these memories away from me. I feel like screaming, like running away, and I can't do any of those things. I know I have to be strong but I just can't. 

"I can't do this, not right now." I say, sniffing right after. Harry looks at me, he's so patient that it makes me believe that I don't deserve someone like him. "I'm sorry." I whisper.

He nods at me, he looks sad and it kills me to make him feel this way. I just need a moment.

He goes and gives Ivy to Martha and she takes her gently. I rest back my back and look at Jack. He's dristracted eating his banana, also biting his other hand and making a little mess on his face. I then look towards the window. And then, at Harry.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to him, again, he sits on my bed once again. He gives me a small smile.

"It's okay. It must be confusing." He says quietly, I nod my head. "You just need a little a time."

I nod again. This time, it's me that moves to hold his hand. I need the reassurance, the support. Just the touch of his hand its enough to comfort me. For some reason, I feel better just by his touch. 

It makes me wonder. Even if I want it or not, if I remember it or not, this is my reality. He is my reality. He holds our tangled hands up and places a kiss on mine, I notice his teary eyes and it builds a knot on my throat. 

He then stands up, holding Jack up. I know deep down that he doesn't want to cry in front of me, he's trying to be strong, too.

"Come on monkey, let's go get daddy a cup of coffee." Harry says to the baby. He leaves the room shortly after.

I stay in there with Martha. She just stands there, rocking the little girl in her arms.

"You... You can sit down." I say to her, akwardly. She smiles tenderly at me.

"It's okay, she likes to be rocked while standing up." She says reffering to Ivy.

I feel so bad. I should be the one holding her. But I don't even feel like her mom. It's a horrible feeling. I need to try harder. 

"What else does she like?" I ask, still looking at Martha.

"Oh, well. She enjoys classic music. I'm introducing Beethoven to her, she stays so calm." She says to me with a smile. I smile, too. "She likes to sleep and eat, a lot. She's not old enough to do anything else."

I smile at her. For some reason her words comforts me.

"And Jack?" I ask. That little boy was so cute. I wish I could remember him.

This time she sits down.

"He likes almost everything. He's such a good kid." She smiles. It calms me that they are being taken care of with such a loving person. "He likes fruits, mostly. And Peppa Pig. He loves watching Peppa Pig."

"He looks so much like Harry." I say, pointing it out.

"I know! He can't deny his son." She says with a chuckle. "He does love his kids, though."

I keep smiling. But then, a question comes to my mind. I just feel so confused inside, with happy butterflies and a deep frustration, but I need to know, from someone else.

"Martha... Can I ask you something?" I ask, still not sure if I should open my big mouth.

"Of course you can, honey." She says with her sweet voice.

"Did I love Harry?" I sigh, moving my fingers together, kind of nervous of the answer.

She smiles at me.

"Yes dear. Deeply." She says to me. "The kind of love that you don't usually see nowadays."

I rest on my side, looking at her and Ivy. I'm sure that even if I don't remember, I was very lucky to have all of them in my life. I'm grateful.

"Did I make him happy?" I ask, I'm curious.

She nods her head.

"Yeah, very." She says but then she stops, as if she was thinking. "But, I think God gave you a second chance."

"What do you mean?" I half sit on my side, resting my weight on my elbow. "Is losing my memory a second chance?"

"Yes. Sometimes it's better to forget the past so you can keep going with your life with a smile on your face." She says giving me a reassuring smile.

I'm confused. I don't understand why she's pointing this out. What happened in the past that it's better to leave it there? I feel like I'm missing something here but I have no clue. It's like a gut feeling, not a good one.

"What happened in the past?" I ask, this time fully sitting down. "Is there something that I should know?"

We are interrupted by a laughing Jack running inside of the room being chased down by Harry, playing as if he was a T-Rex. We both turn to look at them, it's an endearing picture.

"It's not my place to tell you. I'm sorry." She says, and the conversation ends, leaving me clueless.

-