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"Get up, lazy bones! A little Q/A with a handful of people and y'all are tired?" Bey shouts as she enters the room with some things in her hand.

"Ugh.. I shouldn't have opened the door" I complain.

"Come on guys. This is my only free day in God knows how long. I want to enjoy every second of it. Ben and Jerry's anyone?"

"Yeah duh"

"Did they bring the shopping bags already?"

"Yeah"

"You think she'll like it?" Sean asks holding the small package containing the bracelet in it.

We're seated on the floor in the bedroom, with chips, whine and ice cream.

"Definitely. What's there not to like about it?" Bey asks.

"Actually no. It depends on how grateful she is. You got a picture?" I ask.

"Yeah I got millions of them"

He takes his phone out and shows us some pictures of her. He told us earlier that her name is Camilla and they've known each other for as long as they can remember, just like Chris and I. She's beautiful.

"She can be so difficult at times. I'm always wrong according to her and she's always right, even when it's clear that she's wrong. She has this thing against love, but.... Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Am I doing something wrong? She doesn't want to admit to being in love with me... but I know she is..."

"Sounds like me" I say quietly, barely audible, but I know they heard me.

It stays silent for a couple of seconds.

"Who's Christian?" Sean asks eventually.

"He's my... best friend. We had an argument and..... I don't know. It's not like I have anything against love, it's just.... When my dad died I felt betrayed, hurt, broken. I was so young I didn't know the difference between someone dying and someone just abandoning you. I grew up feeling abandoned by my dad. He was the only man I loved and he just left me. He promised, he promised he'd watch me grow up... he said he loved me and he'd always come home to me. Next thing I knew... my mom was crying every day and refused to talk to me for days and daddy?.... he never came home. Last time I saw him he refused to talk to me. He was sleeping in a box..... I was starting to forget how to smile, but... Then Chris came along.... it was my fourth birthday when I first laid eyes on him. He was around every time I needed him. I knew we'd be inseparable and soon I couldn't imagine a life without him. I got scared. He promised he'd forever be around; just like my dad did. I..... I started pushing him away.... I couldn't keep it up for long tho, cause as I pushed, he pulled"

"Why would you go against what you really feel? That's exactly what Cam is doing and it fucking hurts. God knows I love that girl with my all and I know she loves me back, but...."

"It's not that easy you know....."

"Why'd you guys stop talking anyway? What happened?" Bey asks Sean.

"I told her I loved her and that I wouldn't be able to live without her. She panicked and flipped. Baby girl blew up like a cheetah on crack. Said I was lying and I didn't know what I was talking about. Said she didn't need my love and if I can't be just friends with her.... I shouldn't talk to her at all. Thing is. I know what I'm talking about. She's just being difficult and overdramatic about the situation"

"She's not" I defend.

"How would you know that? I know her better than anyone else"

"Because I happen to do the same thing to Chris.  And the problem is that you think you know her so well, that you don't try to help her get past that which she's afraid of. You keep hanging onto the thought of knowing her too well. I know I'm afraid of being left or abandoned again and I can't help it"

"Did you ever tell him that?"

"No. He never asked. He hangs onto the thought of knowing me so well, that he doesn't bother to ask me why"

"So you just tell him to buckle up, because he said he loves and cares about you?"

"No. Not because of that. A lot more has happened..."

I tell them about everything.  From our first kiss when I was fifteen years, to our FWB relationship, to the reason that I'm in this hotel and they listen quietly till I'm done.

"Chris called you a bitch?!" Bey asks shocked.

"I expected him to get mad and all, but calling me names was just too much. His version of protection is too extreme. So I told him that I never wanted to see him again. He could forget I exist"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to call Cam names. Even if I'm mad. I hope our relationship doesn't escalate like that. I'll be devastated"

"So you and him are like... done" Bey asks.

I sigh. Not answering. A tear rolls over my cheek as imagine the possibility.

"Do you love him?" She asks.

"Yes. Yes I do. God I love him, I love him so much I can't stop thinking about him" I sob. "He makes me happy in a way I can't describe. When he calls my name I feel like I could... melt. His touch awakens things in me. Feelings that can't be described in words. Every time I think about him I feel that flutter in my stomach. I love him so much. Every second of the day I ask myself what he might be doing. Even when I'm busy helping a ten year old little girl, I ask myself what he'll think of that. Will he think I'm just showing off or would he be proud of me? I find myself wishing him goodnight and good morning in my mind. I miss him so much and I whish I could turn back time and fix things. I miss how he tells me I'm beautiful every single day, like he's done for nearly nineteen years straight; not skipping a day until now. I love his laugh, oh God his laugh. I love him, I love him so fucking much. I.... Even when it's quiet around me I hear his beautiful dulcet voice saying 'Chanielle I love you' "

"Did you ever tell him that?" Bey ask.

"No..." I choke out.

"I miss Cam too. She has this snoring sound she makes when she laughs. Her friends say she sounds like a pig, but I think it's really cute. I pretend to hate how she loves to fight me over stupid little things that makes no sense, but I secretly love how quick I get on her last nerve before realizing I am. I love how she whispers some of her secrets to me when she thinks I'm asleep. One day... some day she'll be mine for real and we'll be happy. I'll marry her and everything will be okay"

"Trust me little guy. Marriage doesn't make anything any better. Yes, I'm happy in my marriage, but there will always be those moments you don't whish to have. Just two nights ago my husband broke the beautiful lamp we had in our suite. He got mad because I left Blue with Solange. I tried to explain to him that it's her aunt and nothing will happen to her, but that was like pouring gasoline on the deathly flames. Next morning he ignored me like a stranger. I got mad and stormed out. Canceled all my plans for today"

"That's why you ignored me that morning?" I ask.

"Yeah. After I went to get Blue, he started acting like nothing happened and I wouldn't have it. He has this habit of being ridiculously nice and attentive when he knows he did something wrong. So instead of going into the suite with them I knocked on your door"

"Saying they locked you out. I knew there was more to it" I comment.

"Yeah yeah. When I went in there just now, he said he got me my favorite. I just replied saying I already ate and I'm sleeping over here. Surprisingly he didn't protest. I know I don't have to torture him like this, but he can't expect everything to be alright without apologizing. Sometimes we think things are that easy; Just spoil him or her and it'll be okay. But it doesn't work like that. I love him tho and I know that no matter what I'll go back to him. Where he is, is home"

"So I guess marriage does fix some things" Sean States.

"A few things, yeah"

"You should talk to the poor guy" I tell her.

"Yeah and you have to make it right with Chris the first chance you get. Sean you have to give Camilla some time to come around. Talk to her and let her open up to you about her reasons. Don't push her too much"

"Look at us helping each other out. Your husband probably thinks we're having a threesome or something" I say.

"That's just gross. Just when I thought that mouth of yours wasn't as dirty as it used to be" Bey states as Sean shifts uncomfortably.

"Chill man. I'm joking" I chuckle wiping my tear stained face.

"Here's to shity relationships" Sean says raising his whine glass.

"I don't have a relationship" I state.

"And mine's not shity" Bey says.

"Fine. To the future, health and love. To Camilla"
"To Shawn Carter"
"To Christian King"
"To this conversation that is not allowed to go outside this room!"

We tilt our heads back emptying our glasses in our mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yaaayy!! Chanielle finally confessed her love for Chris out loud!!

And just to remind you. The whole Beyonce story is made up. IT'S NOT REAL!!

So don't go around telling your friends that Jay-Z broke a hotel lamp😅😂

What was your reaction to reading about how Chan feels about Chris?

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Love❤ Nicky