Chapter 18b
This chapter is the story Alexandra (Chaniëlle's mom) tells her about her husband. So don't get confused😘😘❤✌
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It was a Monday afternoon. Before that day he's been stressed for a very long time. I can remember that time like it was yesterday. He spoke less and he wasn't around much. One morning when I walked into the kitchen he was sitting in his usual chair at the head of the table, staring at......I don't know....nothing. I asked him what was wrong, but he said it was nothing. Well I wasn't dumb, I knew something was up. So I sat down and looked at him, not knowing how to get it out of him.
He looked at me and sighed, saying I was being ridiculous about the situation.
"What situation?" I asked.
He sighed again. "Please Lexy, let it go"
But I didn't budge, I had to know why he changed all of a sudden. He never kept secrets for me, but I was a hundred percent sure he did now and it was a big secret.
If I had know that him telling me that secret would eventually lead to his death, I wouldn't even think of wanting to know what it was.
But of course I didn't stop until he told me. I was a very eager woman. Never stopped until I had the information I was looking for. Never budged until I was satisfied.
Before he told me, he kept saying he loved me and I would always be the one he loved.
Not like he didn't tell me that before, but in the short period of time before that day he did it a lot more.
And to me that was a confirmation that he was hiding something bad from me.
I didn't care how much he told me that he loved me that day, all I cared about was to know what he was hiding.
He held my hand and kissed them before saying he had a daughter.
I didn't get it. I laughed saying "Stop joking around El, I know WE have a daughter"
He looked at me with a pained expression on his face and then it dawned on me.
It hit me like wrecking ball, that came to me with all the power it could bring with it.
"Elliott please tell me you're joking. Baby look at me" I took his face in my hands, but he didn't look me in the eye "you're confused right? Is it something at work that is frustrating you? You would never do that to me. You'd never cheat on me. That's not what you mean. Please tell me you're joking"
My hands were shaking. No.. my whole body was shaking.
"Alexandra, baby, I'm...." He said taking my hands into his, but I jerked my hands away from his and I got up.
I wanted to walk away from him and his confession.
My legs were so weak and I couldn't walk. I stumbled and fell. I sat on the floor and covered my ears, cause I didn't want to hear anything else.
I started screaming. Screaming really loud. I was screaming my lungs out.
It had to be a joke.
My husband would never cheat on me. He didn't have a reason to. I've always made sure I was the ideal partner for him.
"Why!! Why did you have to do this to me!! Where the fuck did I go wrong?!! Was I not good enough for you?!! Didn't I love you enough?!! What? Was I not good enough in bed?!! Is that why you had to go to another woman?!! Did I not make you a father?!! I fucking gave you everything a wife could give her husband. I fucking gave you everything a woman could give to a man. I made sure you saw the fact that I love you for you Elliott and not because of your money. Tell me Ell, Why" I screamed with tears streaming down my face with every word I screamed.
I couldn't believe it.
"Lexy I'm sorry" he said. He covered his face with his hands and cried.
But I didn't give a fuck.
The guy broke me.
"You're sorry?!! You cheat on me, get another woman pregnant and all you can say is sorry?!! Really Elliott SORRY?!!" I screamed as loud as I could "and don't you fucking 'Lexy' me, because you weren't thinking of your Lexy when you were fucking another woman senseless. How long Elliott? For how long has this been going on?!!"
"Lexy it was a mistake. It was a careless one night stand, I didn't mean to"
"I don't give a damn right now. Just fucking tell me how long!"
"It happened ten months ago, but I didn't know she was pregnant until one month ago" he still didn't look me in the eye.
"Are you kidding me right now? Were you ever going to tell me about it if she didn't get pregnant?" I screamed.
"Lexy please calm down so we can talk about this. I made a mistake and I completely regret it. I don't feel anything for that woman, because you've always been the one for me. I love you with all my heart and you know it. You are..." He tried.
"Don't fucking give that bullshit and don't fucking tell me to calm down. You say you love me, but that clearly isn't enough for you to be loyal to me" I said, not buying anything he was saying.
"Lexy please" he tried to get me to understand him "let me explain everything that happened to you"
I didn't want to hear any of it. I was so broken I didn't think before saying something. "I don't want you to fucking talk to me. Don't even come close to me. I'm done"
I walked out on him and went to our room. He followed me, but I locked the door behind me so he couldn't get in. He stayed there the entire night. He didn't shut an eye. He just cried the whole night, saying he was sorry and he didn't mean to hurt me, he kept saying how much he loved me.
The next morning when I got out of the room his eyes were swollen. Like really swollen.
But I didn't care. I wanted him to suffer just like I was suffering. I wanted him to feel how he made me feel. I was so angry at him.
He followed me to work as he kept apologizing.
His confession turned me kind of heartless the minute he told me. I didn't ask who the woman was or anything.
I didn't speak to him for a week.
The next Monday when he came from work he was drunk.
He pulled me into our room and locked the door, forcing me to have a conversation with him, but I kept yelling at him asking him what he wanted.
Then he said "Lexy please. Give me another chance. I am miserable without you. I can't live without you. I die every second you ignore me. Please give me the chance to explain things to you"
I laughed a cold humorless laugh "You can't live without me you say. Well I don't give a fuck. You can go to hell for all I care. You're death to me, you hear me?! Death!"
Of all the wrong things I've done in live, I regret saying those things to him the most.
When I said it his head snapped to one side as if I had slapped him and he had a pained expression on his face.
That's when I knew I finally broke him. The look in his eyes said it all.
He opened the door and walked out slowly.
Even after I knew I managed to break him, I didn't stop being cold to him.
When he said "good morning" the next day I ignored him and walked out.
I was at home, the sun was just setting when..when they called me. Saying he had an accident.
He died.
I killed him Chaniëlle. It was all my fault. If I wasn't so cold and heartless to him, he probably wouldn't have been driving INA troubled state.
Every second I think of him, I get reminded of it all. I feel like I killed him more than once, cause I knew every second I made him think that I didn't care, he died a little on the inside.
I treated him like dirt, because of one mistake he made for my sake. Kind of like I treated you this morning.
When I came home and you weren't here, I nearly ran mad.
I thought the past was here to repeat itself. I'm sorry chaniëlle, I'm so sorry. I can't bear to lose another one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
Please forgive me"
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top