"I'm starting to wonder how much one heart can take."
-Brooke Davis

8.

"You now the pain you're feeling can go away, Taylor." Raven says as she enters her room, well our room now. She looked to be in a better mood than she did yesterday but I don't know why.

"The physical pain or the emotional pain?" I retort. I've been laying in bed for a good part of the day, I wasn't feeling well at all and Raven told me to get some rest. So to say she was happy about the baby was an understatement. When I told her she was excited for me and even more happy to take me in.

"Both." She says as she takes a sit by me on the couch.

"Yeah? How?" I wish all this pain could go away. Actually, I can deal with the pain from the pregnancy but the emotional hardship was weighing me down. The truth was, I missed Bellamy, I missed his kisses, I missed the way he would wrap his arms around me and pull me close, and I missed his warmth at night. It had only been a few days without him but it felt like a month.

"The key to the city of light. I took it. You can take it too." Raven says with a smile.

"The city of light?" I question her. I could've sworn I heard Jaha going on about that the other day.

"Yes. There's no pain there. You don't have to continue hurting, Taylor." She explained to me holding up a small clear chip with an infinity sign on it. I take it from her and examine it.

"Drugs?" I question the girl and she shakes her head.

"No, not drugs." She doesn't touch further on it but from the way she's been smiling lately I can infer that they probably are drugs.

"Raven, I'm pregnant. It's not safe for me to be taking things like this." Abby had me take some meds overtime to insure the baby's health and I followed orders. I probably wouldn't even take the chip even if I wasn't pregnant. The whole idea of it freaked me out and where did they even come from?

Raven looks to be nodding at something behind me but when I turn my head its just the wall. Is she hallucinating now? Okay, I'm definitely not taking it.

"It's safe for the baby." She tells me but I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, Raven I can't take it." She looks a little bummed but she simply shrugs with a smile.

"That's fine, but it's always an option." She places the chip on the table in front of me. I nod at the girl and stand up.

"I'm going to go see what's happening with Kane and Miller. They told me they were setting up some spy ware to see what Pikes next move is." I tell her as I slip on my shoes and jacket. she simply nods as I walk to the door and walk out. My stomach still hurt and I had a light headache but all this city of light talk had me spooked, plus, I'd like to find out what Pike is up to. As I walk down the halls I finally get to Millers room and knock three times and then once. We decided a code knock was a safe way to ensure secrecy. A moment later Kane is opening the door and letting me in and shutting the door behind me.

"They just now gathered in the meeting room, we're waiting. Octavia is outside the camp listening in. "Kane says as I say a quick hello to Miller and we gather around the machine that will let us hear their conversation.

"Okay, let's get this meeting started." Pikes voice sounds through the small speaker.

"Welcome Farm Stations very own, Monty Green and factory girl, Zoe Monroe. As we begin our next crucial phase, expansion and salvation. And this will lead the way." He says. I look at Kane and Miller in confusion until Monroes voices comes out, "dirt?"

"Soil. Fertile, arable soil. Vastly more rich than anything we've found since landing. We'll clear the trees and plant within the month." Pike says.

"That's all? They're just growing vegetables?" I question Kane and Miller and they look just as confused as me. I thought Pike would have some evil plan to kill more grounders but right now he only wants to grow crops. I'm not complaining I guess.

"We start with soy beans and corn. They grow the fastest." Another voice says which I recognize it to belong to Hannah.

"What's wrong Monty? You don't like corn?" Another voice comes through. I don't recognize the voice right away but the way Miller tenses up I can only assume it's Byan, Millers boyfriend.

"I've never had corn, actually." He then adds, "is this where we're going?" I can assume they have some sort of map in front of them.

"That's right." Pike says.

"There's a village here. What about the people who live there?" My heart drops at Monty words and I look up to Kane. His expression is hard. I knew there was a catch.

"That's Sector Four. We talked about this. The people there are not a threat." Bellamy says. My heart restricts at his voice and then I almost smile. Is he going to actual step up and realize this is a bad idea because it sure sounds like it.

"We need that land. With the loss of Mount Weather's resources, Arkadia will be starving in less than a year." Pike states sternly. I shake my head and share looks with Miller and Kane.

"With all due respect, sir, you still haven't answered Monty's question." Bellamy tells him.

"You know the answer. Every field must be cleared of stones before it's tilled." Pike says.

"Come on, Bellamy. Don't do this." I whisper knowing Kane and Miller can hear me.

"We were spotted by a child. So, they'll be expecting us. But they lost their figures when we took out the army. We don't expect resistance." Hannah says. I bite my lip praying that Bellamy won't do this. That Monty won't either.

"They're Grounders. They'll resist." Monty says.

"Even if they don't, the commander's message was clear. Blood must not have blood." I nod my head, come on Bellamy.

"What would you prefer? Die fighting for your home? Or starve to death? Will you do what needs to be done for your people to survive or not? You have a baby on the way, will you fight for your child?" My stomach churns at the thought of Pike actually using mine and Bellamys baby to convince him.

We sit waiting to hear his answer.

"We'll do what needs to be done." Bellamys voice comes through and I stand up and throw one of the steel cups at the wall as tears start to run down my face.

"Taylor, Taylor calm down." Miller says and pulls me into him. I squeeze his shirt in my hands and sob into his chest.

"He doesn't care about me -- he doesn't care about the baby." I cry into Miller and he runs his hand down my hair.

"Shh, it's okay, Taylor. We're going to put a stop to this." Miller says.

"Tell Octavia I'll be sneaking out to give her horse to her. She's going to want to warn the village." Miller tells Kane as he continues to hold me. Kane nods and speaks over the walkie and tells her.

"Taylor, this is all Pike. He's getting inside Bellamy's head." Kane says as I pull away from Miller but he keeps one of his arms behind my back rubbing gently.

I shake my head, "I don't know about that anymore, Kane."

"We have to have more people with us, you, me, and Miller is not going to cut it." I explain to Kane. It's been a few hours since we found out what pike was doing and they left right after the meeting.

"We can't trust people, Taylor. You know this." He explains as we walk down the hallway into the cafeteria.

"Look, I may know two guys who would be willing to help. I trust them." I tell Kane and he sighs.

"Who?" He crosses his arms and stops walking.

"Meet in Ravens room in twenty minutes, I'll round them up." I tell him and walk towards the exit to outside. Night had fallen and my stomach stirred every second that Pike and his group weren't back. I can just imagine the battle that is taking place right now. I push the thoughts away and head to the usual spot the guards hang out at. I enter the little hut and theres a few guys in there but once I spot the one I need to talk to I make my way toward him.

"Jack, I need to talk to you." I say and he gives me a confused look but nods anyways. I lead him back out and away from people.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He questions and I shake my head.

"Look, you've proven to be some what trustworthy. I need your help." He give me a pointed look when I say 'some what' but I smile lightly.

"Okay, name it." He says.

"You can't tell anyone this, even if you chose not to help." I tell him looking around still making sure no one is listening.

"Of course, but if you think I can say no to you..." He trails off shaking his head.

"Look, Kane, Miller, and I need help. We've been spying on Pike and his men, figuring out what they are up to. We need more people to help us though, we won't be able to do it alone anymore. We have to stop Pike."

"This sounds extremely dangerous...I'm in." He says and I let out a little squeal and hug him. It felt weird to feel his arms around me. Last time he was holding me was two years ago.

"Now, come on, I have to round up one more person and then we go to Kane." I tell him and he nods.

"Lead the way, Queen." He gestures with his hand and I walk back into the ark with him behind me. We walk down a few hallways till I finally reach his door. I knock a few times and wait. The door opens to reveal Alex. He smiles when he sees me but his smile drops when he sees Jack.

"Nice to see you, Taylor." Alex then turns toward Jack, "can't say the same for you."

I roll my eyes, "me and Jack are cool. Can we come in? I need to talk to you."

He sighs but opens the door further and we walk in as he closes it shut behind us.

His room is similar to everyone else's and I take a seat on the couch after looking around and Jack sits right by me.

"What's up?" He asks as he sits as well.

I know this was dangerous considering that he is Farm station but I trusted Alex and if you look at it, he's not out there with Pike killing grounders.

"I need to ask for your help but if you refuse I need you to promise me you will not tell anyone about this."

"Does anyone refuse you?" He joked and I heard Jack snort.

I roll my eyes and Alex nods for me to continue.

"You know you can always trust me, Taylor."

"We're trying to take down Pike and stop him from killing grounders, we need help. Me, Miller, Kane, and now Jack." I explain.

"Okay." He nods his head. My eyes widen and I look at Jack who is wearing the same expression on his face as I am.

"Okay?" I ask.

"Okay. You didn't think I would say no did you?"

"I..I don't know..." I trail off.

"Taylor, you stole for my mother, you put your ass on the line for her. I'm forever in your debt. You not only tried to help her but you were helping me along the way. You have a good heart and you follow it, so I'll follow you." He explains and I smile.

"Thanks, Alex. We have to go meet with Kane now. He needs to know you guys are with us." I say and we stand up. I get a little dizzy standing up so quickly and I groan.

"Are you okay?" Alex asks.

"I think so." I nod my head.

"Is it the baby? Are you in pain?" Jack questions me.

"Baby? You're pregnant?" Alex eyes widen.

I sigh, "yeah." Looking away from him afraid to see disappointment.

"You're going to be one badass mom that's for sure." Alex says making me look up at him. He's wearing a big grin and I can't help but smile back.

"Of course she is, I taught her everything." Jack teases and I glare at him playfully.

I shake my head at the banter, "come on, let's go."

"They should be back by now, where are they?" I question tapping my fingers against the metal table. Right now our little team was sat at a table drinking moonshine. Was sat in between Jack and Alex while Kane and Miller were sitting across from us. Well I of course was only drinking water. It had occurred to me that I had drank some moonshine when I was pregnant even though I did not know. But the baby was barely an egg and Abby said everything was fine so it looked like it was okay.

"Right there." Jack says as I look up from my cup and see Pike and his men walking in. Kane and Miller turn around to see them enter. They didn't look to be injured nor were they covered with blood. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

"Listen up, we lost two of our own tonight." Pike says and my heart drops. Bellamys eyes meet mine and I shake my head and direct my attention on Pike again.

"Alex Whitmore and Zoe Monroe." My eyes widen at the name and tears start to well up in my eyes. Monroe was one of The 100. I quickly wipe away the tears from my eyes and stand up making my chair scrape against the floor.

"Still haven't learned, huh? Hurting your enemy is hurting yourself. The Grounders didn't kill Monroe or Whitmore, you guys did." I spit. Bellamy looks at the ground. I roll my eyes at his behavior.

"The Grounders used poisonous smoke to harm us." Pike states.

"Yeah? And why is that? Why were you in grounder territory to begin with?" I question crossing my arms. I know why but he doesn't know that I know and I didnt want to give it away that we were listening in on their meeting. He probably already assumes there's a trader in this camp seeing as Octavia warned the villagers.

Pike looks around the cafeteria as all eyes are on him. He actually looks stumped. I cross my arms waiting.

"We needed the land, the soil there was fertile enough to start growing crops." He says. Some people start to whisper.

"Was?" I question.

"The poisonous gas destroyed the soil." He explains. I nod my head.

"So two people died for nothing." I say laughing humorlessly.

"Two people died trying to help us get the land so we can prosper in arkadia." Pike stated.

"You guys expect to prosper with no humanity? You guys were willing to kill yet another army of grounders. That's inhumane. You can live with that?" I question. Bellamy looks defeated.
I know he was close with Monroe. She looked up to him and he was glad to play the role model part. I wish I could comfort him but he brought it on himself. They all did.

"I can live with knowing my people are safe and well fed." Pike says. His expression is one of annoyance, he doesn't like when I go against him. But like he said a couple days ago, no one can touch me.

"You should want us to succeed for the future. You will be having a baby. Don't you want your child to have a good life?" Hannah speaks up. The whispering starts to get louder as Hannah revealed my secret. I strut over to where she is standing between Pike and Bellamy.

"Don't you dare bring my child into this to prove a stupid ass point. My child will have a good life, I don't need to kill any grounders for that to happen. Next time you want to talk about what is good for my unborn baby, Hannah, talk to Bellamy, he seems to enjoy following yours and Pikes orders." As I talk she looks almost guilty but tries to put on a strong face.

"Taylor..." Bellamy tries and I fleet my eyes over to him.

"You have something to say?" I cross my arms waiting to hear from him.

"This is what's best." He tells me and I step closer to him so only he can hear my next words. Pike starts to clear out with his men but I know some people are still watching mine and Bellamys interaction.

"Is this what's best when you're telling our child what you have done?" I whisper looking into his eyes. The eyes that I've missed so much.

He shakes his head, "stop, I can't...don't say that."

I sigh, "you can still do the right thing, Bellamy."

He looks at me with sadness in his eyes and my heart breaks for him. He then looks behind me.

"So you and Jack are friends now?" He nods behind me and I turn to see Jack watching my encounter with Bellamy. The rest of them are discreetly looking over.

"It's not your business anymore." I swallow hard at his expression.

"Don't do that." He shakes his head, "I love you, Taylor."

"Yes, me and Jack are friends." I answer.

He nods, "If he does anything to hurt you, I'll kill him."

Oh Bellamy, you're the only one bringing me pain.

A/n:
And there it is... more heartbreak.
Do you think Taylor is doing the right thing by sort of giving him an ultimatum? I think ultimatums are stupid in relationships but in this case it's actually an ultimatum that is so simple yet Bellamy makes it out to be difficult. Do you think Bellamy is starting to realize he's doing wrong or do you think he will continue following Pike? I know he continues to follow Pike in the show but you never know, I could switch it up if I wanted to. ;)

I love Jack and Kaleb. They are so cute and caring around Taylor. I also love the scene where Miller is comforting her. We haven't seen them interact like that in a very long time and he was one of the first friends she made when they landed. 

But can we talk about how badass Taylor actual is though? She will stop at nothing to fight for what she believes and she defends her baby with such bravery. She's quite literally a Queen.

Anyways, did you guys see the latest episode of The 100?! So much happened! I was pissed that they knocked out Luna for her blood and I was pissed that they wanted to use Emori. I'm not a big fan of Emori but she didn't deserve to get tested on so I'm glad she didn't. But Clarke injected herself?! I don't know whether she's brave or just stupid. But I like how they brought back the line "I bear it so they don't have to." It's such a symbol for her because in the end she does what she does for her people even if it hurts her.
Okay but freaking Bellamy Blake actually smiling?! I was happy he was letting loose but I was not happy about the girl. Like yeah she's going to hit on him because he's hot as hell but I'm a huge Bellarke shipper and you can't tell me he wasn't thinking of Clarke. Especially because the girl had blonde hair, coincidence much? I just want Bellamy and Clarke to get together already!
Also can you freaking believe Jaha didn't stop fighting to find answers about the symbol and the vault. Like I love that dude so much. He's so smart. It makes me miss Wells. :(

Anyways, that's probably the longest authors note I've ever done but I just wanted to talk about the episode and this chapter in detail. Sorry. But thank you guys for all the votes and comments, I can't begin to explain how much I love seeing them. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Much love, xoxo.