"I'm a human being. I make mistakes, I'm flawed, we all are."

-Derek Shepard

5.

As my eyes start to flutter open I realize this is the first good sleep I've gotten in three days, three days because Bellamy wasn't by my side. But here he is, underneath me. I move his hair out of his face and watch him sleep for a little while longer. I enjoy his warmth and his arms loosely hanging around my waist. It's short lived when I realize there is stuff we need to do, I wish that we could just lounge around. Maybe when all of this is over we can do just that. I slowly move from his grasp and out of bed, I figured id let him have a few more minutes till I wake him. I grab my panties and slip them back on and throw on his beige shirt that was thrown on the floor from last night. I quickly go to the bathroom, although we don't have running water inside the ark I always keep jugs of water in here so I can brush my teeth. I quickly brush them and rinse my mouth with the water and go back into our room. As I enter I jump slightly noticing Bellamy is now wide awake arms crossed behind his head watching me intenetly.

"Good morning." I tell him and he smiles making my heart flutter.

"Good morning, princess, come here." He beckons me over with one hand which I comply and jump on top of him, my legs on either side of him. He cups my neck with one hand and brings me down to kiss me. I savor the kiss as he pulls away.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you the other day, I was just angry. I don't want to you to think you can't go on without me, you can and you might because you never know what can happen down here. I know you are strong, you're the strongest person I have ever met, you can do anything with or without me. When we came down to earth I barely knew you but I could see how brave you were - you still are. I want you to know that you were strong before me and you are strong with me." A tear falls down my cheek when he finishes and he swipes it away with his thumb.

"Oh Bellamy, you have no idea. You make me strong. Or stronger or however the hell you want to look at it. But I am definitely not the same person I was, I'm a better me when I'm with you. Before you came into the picture I felt like I was already dead just waiting to get floated. I was dead in that cell but when we came down to earth, it wasn't this planet that brought me back to life, it was you Bellamy. You brought me back to life, you made me love life again. It was you who I couldn't breathe without, not the oxygen. You were the air I needed to breath and you still are because without you I would die." As I stare into his eyes they start to get watery but he contains it.

"I love you, you are my whole world and all the stars and all the planets. You loved me when I didn't think anyone could, I'm so grateful for you, princess. I will remind you how much I love you until I take my last breath on this earth." His words tug at my heart and I let out a mix between a laugh and a sob. I place a kiss to his lips and he flips us over so he is on top. He breaks away from our kiss as he looks down at my whole body.

He gently tugs his shirt that is on me, "you look amazing in my clothes."

I giggle as he playful bites my jaw and places kisses all over my neck.

"Come on, Bell, we have things to do." I playfully push him of of me and get out of bed.

"You know I only ever allowed Octavia to call me that but it feels nice when it is coming from you too. The only two women I will ever need in my life." His comment makes me feel special and loved just by Bellamy liking something as small as a nickname. It's the little things I guess.

"Mikel, what are you doing here?" I question the man as he enters arkadia with a bunch of other people. They all seem to be sick. Mikel himself looks fine but everyone else is practically dragging themselves. The guards of arkadia stand around not letting them pass.

"Hey, let them through. Kane said we can help them." I say to Jake who happens to be one of them. He nods and backs away, I guess he has given up on annoying me?

"They are sick, they need help." Mikel tells me and I nod. Another man I know to be Ekko is helping him and Octavia comes over to help us get them inside to the medical tent. Once we enter I see my dad and she ushers them to empty beds to lie on.

"They are sick, they need to be treated right away." I wonder if it's the same biological warfare they used on us when we first came down here. They seem to be showing all the symptoms at least.

My dad nods, "of course, we will always help trikru." I smile at his comment and help everyone get settled. Before I can start helping with my dad Mikel pulls me aside.

"Taylor, Commander Lexa wants to see you." He tells me.

I shake my head in confusion, "she wants to see me? Why?"

Ive barely talked to her and last time I did there wasn't much talking considering I just punched her in the face. Does she want to finish me off this time?

"She wants to give you a token of peace because you've healed so many people. The token has not been given to anyone for years but Lexa believes you deserve it."

"What?"

"It's a token, it symbolizes the peace that has been kept by you through healing people. You have healed Trikru many times before even though you are Skaikru, people know who you are, Trikru trust you. She believes it should be yours."

"But Abby has helped Trikru before and so has Clarke." I don't understand why she would want to give something like this to me. I'm nothing special, I help when I can and when I am needed.

"Not as much as you have. Abby and Clarke do not have the connection that you have with Trikru."

"Mikel, I still don't understand. I don't have any connection. I help people when they need me too."

He sighs, "If Lexa believes you do then there is something there, you just can't see it."

I cross my arms and debate going. This all sounds really weird. I mean, a token of peace? That's a real thing? I shake the thought away. If the freaking commander wants me to have this token I guess I have to accept?

"Well, I've always wanted to see Polis, guess we're taking a road trip, Mikel." I finally give in and he rolls his eyes but I know he's just being playful.

"If you want to get there before noon so we can get back before sun down I suggest you grab what you need now and we can be on our way."

I smile, "you got it, Mike. Ill meet you at the front gates in ten." He huffs at the nickname and I laugh. I love messing with him.

As I walk out of the medical tent I walk down the hallways to my room. I open the door and to my surprise Bellamy is sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I swiftly shut the door and walk over to him and remove his hands away from his face. He looks up at me and my heart breaks seeing his eyes red and filled with tears.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I take his face into my hands as he looks up at me.

"I turned in my guard jacket. I can't do it." He shakes his head. He grabs my arms and closes his eyes.

"I dont deserve to wear it. I was suppose to protect those people - our people. I trusted Echo and I told our people to trust Echo just for it to go wrong and for our people to die in mount weather."

I shake my head, "Bellamy, this is not your fault. None of it. You did what you had to do, what you always have to do, you protect us. We're going to lose some people because of mistakes and I know it sucks and it feels like its all your fault but we're human. We trust and we make mistakes, it's what we do and that's just life. Don't you dare take the blame for this." He leans his head onto my stomach and wraps his arm around my waist as he softly cries. I let him get it out as I run my fingers through his hair trying to calm him. After his crying dies down a little I tilt his head back up to look at me.

"Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again." I whisper and he smiles lightly.

"The Iliad." He says and I nod.

"Things are going to happen, Bellamy. Life is ugly and life is beautiful, you just have to realize that balance makes life extremely intricate. Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed."

"I love you." He places a kiss on my wrist and stands up and pulls me in for a hug.

"I love you too. I don't know if now is a good time to tell you this but I'm going to Polis." He pulls away from the hug with a confused look.

"Why?"

"Mikel said that Lexa wants to give me a sort of token of appreciation for helping Trikru out." I shrug not knowing how else to explain it.

"That's odd, Mikel going with you?"

"Yes, Im actually suppose to be meeting him right now at the gates." I say.

He nods, "okay, please be safe, don't get into any trouble. And please do not punch Lexa again."

I roll my eyes, "ill try my hardest but I am not making any promises. I know you turned in your guard uniform but you are still our protector, Bellamy. So do what you do best and protect us." I place a kiss on his lips and grab my pack, sword, and gun and head out.

Mikel stands there waiting and as he sees me he gives me a pointed look.

"Sorry, I had to say bye to Bellamy."

"Of course." He mutters and I laugh as we climb onto our horses. I give mine a gentle pat before we take off into the woods to Polis.

"Well this is not what I imagined at all." I tell Mikel as we tie our horses to a post outside a small building. I look up to the huge tower that stands before us. Nope, nothing like I imagined.

"Some things were saved from the bombs." He says to me as I follow his lead to the tower. Some people look our way but other than that no one cares too much, then again why should they? We are allies and I'm pretty sure Kane and Abby were just here so seeing someone from Skaikru shouldn't be shocking.

We walk in the tower down a couple of halls and then we come to an elevator of sorts. There's a man standing by a wheel, which im assuming is to get the elevator up. I follow Mikel in and he closes the gates as the man starts to push and soon were getting lifted up. I look out the bars to see Polis every time the elevator passes a window.

"This place is huge." I say as I see that Polis stretches on for a couple of miles.

"This is nothing compared to Ice nations territory." I cringe at the winter clan and stay quiet enjoying the view. After a few more minutes we stop and Mikel opens to the gate. I can take a pretty good guess that we are on the highest floor. There are two men guarding a wooden door which I can assume is Lexa's... headquarters? Meeting room? I don't really know but as soon as Mikel says who we are and what we are here for in Trigedasleng they open the doors for us.

The first thing I see is Lexa in a beautiful wooden thrown. She still looks the same from last time I saw her but I try to shake that memory out of my head. Clarke is standing by her guards and I quickly rush to the girl and bring her in a hug.

"Clarke. Oh my god." She hugs back and smiles at me. She looks different. She has heavy eye makeup and her blonde hair is in a series of braids. She looks good, she almost looks like a queen almost.

"Taylor, are you okay?" She asks me and I nod.

"I'm fine, everything is fine."

"Taylor kom Skaikru." Lexas voice interrupts my reunion with Clarke and I turn to her.

"Uh, am I suppose to bow or like kneel or something? Although I have to say I am not a fan of kneeling. Actually I won't kneel." I say awkwardly.

I see a hint of smile on her lips but she keeps her expression light.

"It's okay. You are my guest. I asked you here for a specific reason." She says.

"Uh, yes, the token."

She nods to a guard and the guard brings out a small brown box and opens it for her. She takes out a circular object and stands. She walks over towards me and I wait.

"Taylor kom Skaikru and Trikru. This token has been passed down to those who have made peace through the power of healing. You have healed more than one hundred people of Trikru and I have no reservations that you would not hesitate to do it again. You are strong, brave, and have a heart that only knows that of healing. This token will let you pass through the twelve clans with no harm done to you, this token will allow all nations to trust you. This token not only lets you be trusted to help heal but to be trusted as an ally and a warrior. Taylor kom skaikru, will you accept this honor?" I'm taken aback by her words. This is very serious and I don't know how I could ever deserve this token. But as Mikel said before, if Lexa is honoring me with this, there must be something she sees. With that thought I nod my head.

"I accept the honor. Thank you, Heada." I say in trigedasleng as she has done with me.

She smiles lightly and lifts up the token from her hand. Only its not just a token, it's on a chain. She places it around my neck and I pull my hair out from under the chain. I grab the wooden token in my fingers and look at the symbol. It's a detailed design of all different types of symbols and I soon realized its all the symbols of all the clans formed into one. It's beautiful.

"I have heard many stories of all the lives you helped at TonDC. Indra has told me that you were wounded yet all you wanted to do was help my people before you helped yourself. You are a selfless warrior, Taylor. I could think of no other person to give that to." She explains.

"I am honored, Lexa. Also, I..um...I'm also sorry for punching you." I rub the back of my neck and she actually smiles.

"Like I said, brave." She says but a voice behind me speaks up, "more like stupid." I turn around to see Indra walk in and I smile and go to her and hug her.

"Let's just say it was a mix of both." I say ending the conversation.

"Very well, if you wish to stay for awhile Gus can show you your room, if not, I wish you safe travels." She explains and takes a seat on her throne.

"I need to be getting back now. There's some things I have to deal with back at arkadia. But thank you for the offer." I nod. I hug Clarke and tell her ill come back soon and that she should come back to arkadia soon as well. I then hug Indra before me and Mikel walk out.

"Ready to go peace healer?" Mikel says and I laugh.

"Let's go."

A token of peace, who would've thought? I never thought I would be here accepting a grand token like this. Just a couple months ago I was on the ark rotting in a cell, now here I am, living, breathing, loving, and healing.

I guess it's at the times when we fully bask in what we have is when everything starts to fall apart. Because when I arrived back at Arkadia everything I had built was slowly crumbling to the ground.

A/N:

And so it begins, the tears, the lies, and the heartbreak. It's only going downhill from here. Are you guys ready for it?

I'm so dramatic... anyways, THE 100 GOT RENEWED FOR A FIFTH SEASON!!!!! I was over the moon when I found out, The 100 means the world to me and I'm glad we are getting another season of our favorite characters, that is if they don't kill them off...

I dont know what that means for this series. This is the third book and I want to write a fourth for season four. I'm not that far ahead to say if I would write a fifth book but I would like to think I would. It's just a weird time since I graduate in two months and then I start college. But lets stay in the present and enjoy this book and see where it takes us and where the show takes us.

I loved writing this chapter because you see Taylor getting recognized for her selflessness and bravery and I think that's something so monumental for her. We also see Bellamy breaking down in front of Taylor and Taylor helping him through that. I think quoting The Lilad was my favorite part because I love The Lilad and I thought it was a cute moment between Bellamy and Taylor. In the beginning of the chapter we see them making up and really expressing their feelings for each other more than they have before and I think thats what makes everything from here much more raw. You see them confessing this undying love they have for each other in the beginning and then the end of the chapter is foreshadowing something terrible. Now obviously for people who have seen the tv show you know what Bellamy is trying to do and who he is teaming up with, so it's not hard to guess what Taylor is going back to.

But enough of me going on and on, I want to say thank you so much to everyone who is reading. Thank you for loving Queen enough to read Castle and thank you for loving Castle enough to read this book here, Knight. I can't believe I've reached almost 50k reads on Queen! That is just incredible and I'm so thankful to all of you. I love your comments no matter what they are so keep them coming!

Much love, xoxo.