"Life is always a test."

-Hershel Greene

13.

"Jasper, think!" I yell at him as Raven continues to patronize him.

"It's not Raven talking. And you're giving her what she wants. Go." He complies to my request and walks out of the room. It's just me and Raven now. I take a seat again and hope that she doesn't continue to talk, but she does.

"Just you and me, huh?"Ravens tone is soft but seductive, I control rolling my eyes.

"Oh come on, Bellamy. We've had our fun together." She smirks and this time I roll my eyes.

"No we didn't. You tried but I didn't want you. I love Taylor, I always will." I say thinking about my girl. I had laid down with her for a little bit before taking my shift to watch over Raven, I would much rather be with her in my arms right now.

"Oh Bellamy, you don't deserve her. She's probably still in love with Jack anyways, that baby is the only thing keeping you tied to her." Every word that comes out of her mouth is bullshit, I know it but it still doesn't sting any less and my rage slowly starts to build up as she continues talking.

"You think she really wants you back after all the people you killed? You killed an army of grounders sent to protect you, you think she wants you still? You think she wants a murderer? You killed all those people in Mount weather too but Clarke is the only one getting the blame." I stand up from her words and walk over to the side of the bed.

"You don't know anything." I grit my teeth and before she can talk again Niylah is barging in with Clarke and Taylor right behind her.

"My father..."She comes up to me. "Niylah..." I shake my head and she slaps me.

"You killed my father!" She shouts and Clarke pulls her out of the room.

"It's too late." Taylor says.
Jasper adds, "Alie knows we're here."

I grab my jacket and storm out of the room and then head outside. I hear footsteps behind me and I know it's Taylor. Once I reach outside I kick a barrel to the floor and punch some crates.

"Bellamy! Bellamy, stop! You'll hurt yourself!" Taylor comes to face me and grabs my hand in hers. My anger is already dissolving at her touch.

"I killed them. I just wanted to protect my people and protect you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I start to cry and she pulls me into her. I wrap my arms around her waist as I lean down and bury my face into her neck.

"I know, Baby. I know." She runs her fingers through my hair calming me down. I finally stop crying but I keep my hold on her. Right now in her arms, I feel loved. I love her so much I honestly don't know what I would do without her here. I use to be afraid of this kind of love because of the heartache that could follow but for her it's worth it. She's worth everything.

"Maybe Alie is right, maybe I really don't deserve you." I sigh into her neck but she pulls me away from her.

"Cut it out, Bellamy. Listen to yourself, that was Alie talking, she doesn't know anything. She's trying to get into your head but we're not going to let her win, okay? You know why? Because I love you and you love me and that's all we need." She brings my face down to hers for a kiss and I sigh into the kiss.

"I do love you and I just want all of this to be over so you can live peacefully." I tell her as I cup her face in my hands.

"I want that too, Bellamy. But right now we have to fight and when this is all over then we can have that." She says as she smiles lightly at me.

The roar and the lights from the rover interrupt our moment and we pull away once it's parked. Monty steps out and quickly walks past us and then Octavia comes out.

"What happened?" Taylor asks her.

"He killed his mom to save me." Octavia whispers. My jaw clenches at her words, my heart goes out to Monty. He is like a brother to me and I know what he's going through. I killed my mother too when I took Octavia to that stupid dance. Octavia walks past us and inside while I share a look at Taylor. She has tears in her eyes and I now remember that she was close to Hannah back on the ark.

"Hey, come here." I pull her to me and squeeze her tight.

"We just have to fight this." I whisper into her ear, she nods against my chest and I pull away.

"Now lets go help Raven." I take her hand in mine and we walk back into the room where Raven was in bed.

"All we have to do is connect her and activate the electromagnet." Sinclair explains to us. Monty and Jack start to untie her hands and when they get lose she starts to fight back. She keeps thrashing around and we all try to stop her but she won't quit. She eventually starts bleeding from her wrists and before I know it she starts slamming her head back against the bed post.

"She's trying to kill herself." I say realizing what she's doing.

"Raven, stop!" I yell as I go to hold her arms back and Jack pushes her head against the board so she can't keep banging against it.

"Stop, and I'll give you this." Clarke holds up a chip with an infinity sign and Raven stops fighting back long enough for Sinclair to hand me the wristband so I can snap it on her wrist.

"No, you lied! You lied! Please don't do this! The EMP will give me brain damage, you know it will!" She yells and starts to squirm. I hate doing this do her but it's the only way to get Alie out of her. Not only do I care for her but we also need her, she's the smartest out of all of us.

"Okay, it's on, go!" I yell and Sinclair nods his head and flicks something on the box. Nothing happens.

"What's happening?" Jasper questions.

"Nothing. We need more power, the battery is not strong enough." Sinclair explains to us.

"Well can't we get one that is?" Taylor questions trying to hold Ravens legs down too.

"The rover." Monty states. I nod my head and have Sinclair hold her down as I run out with Monty to the rover. We get out and lift up the hood of the rover. As Monty is looking for what he needs I hear a buzzing noise. I look up to my left to see a drone.

"Drone!" I tell Monty as I raise my gun to shoot.

"She's here." Monty says and with that I shoot it down.

"Not anymore, get the damn battery, go!" I yell to Monty and he takes it out and hauls it inside with me behind him. "Guys we have to move!" I shout at them hoping they do this quick. Arkadia is on their way here.

"Okay, go!" Monty tells Sinclair and he flips the switch. Raven arches her back and lets out an agonizing scream and then passes out.

"Raven, come on Raven. Please wake up." Taylor says shaking her shoulder. I can see the pain in my girls eyes as she waits for the real Raven to come back to us.

"Raven warned us this would happen." Jasper sighs. I swallow hard as I look back to Taylor, she has tears in her eyes but I know she's not giving up hope. I'm not either, Raven is a fighter if anyone's making through this it's her.

"That's it! I'm destroying it, Alie is never getting it!" Jasper goes to smash the chip Clarke had with her but she stops him in tears.

"No! Stop! A part of Lexa is still in there!" She yells at him. I now know what Lexa meant to Clarke, she loved her.

"Please I-" Clarke stops talking almost as realizing something.

"Wait, the two AI's were made by the same person. I saw this AI get removed." She says but I'm not following and no one else seems to be either.

"What does that have to do with this?" Octavia asks

"I can try to remove it." Now I understand what she's saying. She has Taylor help her move Raven onto her side as Monty fetches the med bag for her. She grabs the scalpel and even though I'm a little hesitant of this plan I trust what Clarke is doing. She cuts a small line in the middle of her neck and blood starts to gush out. I don't think it was what Clarke was hoping for by the look on her face. But then something starts to seep from her neck with the blood.

"What is that?" I ask her.

"It must be whatever is left of the chip." Sinclair says looking amazed.

Raven starts coughing as the blood flow stops and she opens her eyes.

"Come on, get her up." Sinclair orders and Taylor and Clarke help her sit up.

"I missed you, don't ever do that again!" Taylor says and hugs her. Raven groans in pain but hugs her back.

"I could have saved my mom." Monty says looking away. Jasper and Taylor both go over to him but he snaps.

"Get the hell away from me! Both of you!" He yells at them and storms out. They both look hurt at his rejection and my girl looks close to crying. I don't think I can bare to see her cry anymore, it hurts me more than she'll ever know.

"Alie knows we're here. We have to move." I tell them and they spring into action getting their stuff. We all walk out of Niylahs home and Jasper helps Raven into the rover.

"There's one thing I don't understand." Clarke states talking to Raven. "Why did Alie want you to kill yourself?" She adds.

"Because I know why she wants the second AI." Raven sighs. "Why?" I ask her.

"Because it's the only thing that can stop her."

"Then let's stop her. We survive together." Octavia says what for our response. We all nod in agreement. She seems better but I know that's not true and there's nothing I can do for her.

We all load up into the rover as Clarke drives again and Taylor sits in my lap.

"Get some rest, baby. It's going to be a bit of a drive." I whisper to her and she nods her head. She snuggles closer to me and lays her head on my chest as I wrap my arms tightly around her. It feels good to have her here, it feels good to have her back. She quickly knocks out the first couple of minutes into driving. I sigh, she's been straining herself too much and it's not good for her or the baby. She doesn't get proper rest either and it's not healthy. part of me wants to take her to the bunker Finn had shown us and we can just stay down there forever and ignore all the problems and death up here but I know it's not what she would want and it's barely what I want. I still have Octavia and these people are my family. I could never leave them hanging and I know for sure Taylor wouldn't either. Maybe when we destroy Alie we can stay there for awhile, just me and her, no interruptions or problems. It sounds amazing and if anything motivates me even more to destroy Alie and help out Arkadia so I can have that with Taylor.

As we continue to drive the sun goes up and Raven is explaining how Alie works to us.

"Radio in to Miller." Clarke tells me when Raven has finished enlightening us on Alie. I nod my head and slowly grab the radio so I don't wake up Taylor.

"Miller, come in. We're two minutes out." I say into it but hear nothing in return. We decided to leave Miller and Harper at the cave so we could be spread out more.

"Miller, do you copy?" Still nothing. Fear overcomes me at the thought of something happening to him and Harper but I shake it away. They know how to protect themselves.

As we get to the cave Clarke and Octavia get out to check. I would but I still have Taylor on me. They come out of it seconds later shaking their heads and hop back in.

"There stuff is still there but they aren't. They would've taken their stuff if they we're going somewhere." Octavia explains and I know she's right.

"We'll find them but for right now we have to head back to Arkadia." Clarke pulls out the rover and drives to camp. Once we get there I sigh as I realize I have to wake up Taylor. Everyone files out and I stay seated so I can wake her by myself.

I gently run my hands through her long brown hair and she stirs slightly.

"Baby, we're at camp. It's time to wake up." I whisper and tuck some hair behind her ear so it's not in her face. Her eyes flutter open and my heart pounds like crazy seeing her brown eyes looking back at me. God the things she does to me.

"I'm so tired." She groans and lifts off my chest. It now feels cold where she was and I want to take her back into my arms again and just stay here with her but I know I can't.

"I know. I can take you to our room and you can sleep while we look around if you want?" I'm hoping she says yes because I want her to be well rested.

"I don't know, Bellamy...If people are still here..." She trails off looking worried. I place a kiss on her head.

"You can lock the doors and I'll knock when we're ready to head out." I tell her as I rub my thumb against her cheek.

"But I want to help." She sighs but from the way her eyes are drooping I know she's not going to fight me anymore on this. "You've helped enough. Catching up on some sleep won't hurt you. We got more than enough people helping. Okay?" She bites her lips and then nods.

"Okay, but if you guys need me come and get me."

"Of course." I lean in for a kiss and my mind relaxes. The taste of her lips is sweeter each time I kiss her and I'm so addicted. I get a little carried away when my tongue slips into her mouth but she doesn't seem to mind. She moans a little and I groan at the sound. Much to my displeasure she pulls away.

"I love you, but we can't..."She says and I nod.

"I know, when all of this is over though..." I smirk at her and she rolls her eyes but laughs. The sound is like music to my ears and I can't help but smile with her.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." I say as I open the rover door and keep her close to me as I start to carry her toward our room.

"Bellamy, I can walk." She smiles up at me but I shake my head.

"I don't mind." I say as I walk down the hallways. Once I get to our room I open the door and that's when I set her done. We look around the place to make sure no one is lurking and when we don't find anyone I go into the bedroom with her. She slips under the covers and smiles up at me.

"I'll lock the door, just don't worry and get some rest." Seeing her back in our bed makes my heart soar. When she moved out and went to stay with Raven I was heartbroken. I slept in this bed every night, actually I barely got any sleep. I would toss and turn hoping she'd come back so I could hold her but she never did and it was my fault.

I give her a quick kiss on the lips and close the bedroom door and then walk out into the living area. I make sure to lock the door from the inside before walking out and closing it behind me. I try to get in just to make sure it's locked and it is.

"I'm going to check the armory if you guys need me." I say into my radio I unclipped from my pants. I walk back down the hallways and outside of Arkadia. I make my way over to the large tent that held all the weapons. I realize we've hit jackpot once I see all the guns and ammo still here.

I lift the radio to my mouth, "guys you need to come to the armory and see this." No later than a few seconds Clarke is replying.

"What is it?"

"I'll explain when you get here." I say and clip the radio back onto my pants. I look around more to see the other weapons inside that they've stored away. Some I've never even seen before because we've never had to use them. Ten minutes go by before I exit the tent to go look for them. What is taking them so long?

"Bellamy!" I whip my head around to see Clarke running out of the ark and toward me.

"Woah! What happened?" I ask her as I place my hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"Emerson." Is all she says.

"Taylor." My eyes widen as I rush back into the ark and toward our room. Once I get there I get to the door but it's not locked. It's opened. I rush in and go straight to the room. The bed is empty, I check the bathroom but nothing.

"Fuck!" I knock over the table as Clarke comes running in.

"Stop, Bellamy. We need to find them, this won't help though."

"Let's go then." I take my gun hanging off my shoulder from the strap and hold it up as we walk out of the room. I told her not to worry and that it would be okay. I have no one to blame but myself for this.

A/N:

Hey guys! I know it's been around 6 days since I last posted and I apologize. I have a little over two more weeks of school left so I've been stressing over making sure my grades are perfect. I'm also graduating in May so I've been worrying about that to and my graduation party and prom. It's just a lot for me especially since I'll be moving states for college so it's starting to hit me hard that I'm leaving in 3 months. But since I'm about to finish school that means summer break which means I will have plenty more time to update which is exciting! So please just bare with me guys. I also feel like no one really cares about this book? I have the few who comment and tell me but the reads on it is so little compared to the almost 60k on Queen and the 30k reads on Castle. Even my Bob Morley fit has 17k reads. And I thank you all for that because it's just incredible. It just makes me think that no one cares about this book because it only has 7k reads. I know it's not all about the reads and it's not at least not to me, it just discourages me sometimes and makes me feel like I'm not writing as good as the other books is all. Nonetheless I'd still keep writing this book even if no one read it because I love it and I love the relationships and people I've created. But thank you for the ones who do read, I love you all so much.

Also, I hope you enjoyed this chapter since it was from Bellamys point of view. :)

And did anyone watch The 100 that just came back on? INSANE! I was crying so hard because of Jasper, Monty, and Harper staying. And when Bellamy said whatever the hell you want I screamed. AND OCTAVIA FREAKING BLAKE IS GOING TO BE THE FIGHTER FOR SKAIKRU!!! SHE'S GOING TO WIN WE ALL KNOW IT. Also I'm still waiting for Bellarke but my hopes are high and we still have season 5 to look forward to so who knows what could happen. To be honest I don't think the radiation will kill them, I think somethings going to happen and they will be able to live outside still. Either that or season 5 will be them all living in the bunker and finding a way to live outside again. Or maybe Raven makes night blood in space and they can use that idea again. I don't know there's so many possibilities. I'm going to stop though because this is extremely long.

Much love, xoxo.