"I have caught myself wishing that I could forget all the horrible things you have done."

-Caroline Forbes

10.

"So what is the plan." Jack says walking into Millers room. I shake my head and sit down on the bed.

"I don't know what to do, how are we suppose to get Kane out of there without endangering our lives?"I sigh wiping the tears that were starting to fall.

"Hey, you're not in this alone, Taylor. We will figure something out." Jack says coming to sit by my side. He puts his arm around me and rubs my arm as I place my head on his shoulder.

"Jack is right. Just take a deep breath, we'll figure this out." Harper sends me a sad smile.

We sit in silence for a few seconds until there is a knock at the door. We all share looks and Miller walks over and opens it a crack. I can't tell who it is until he finally opens the door and allows the two people to come in and Miller shuts it right behind them. Bellamy and Monty. Bellamys expression is unreadable as he looks at me but by his clenching jaw I know he wants to say something to Jack about having his arm around me.

"What do you-" Miller gets cut off by Bellamy with his fingers to his lips telling him to stay quiet. He then pulls out a knife which makes us all jump up to defend ourselves. What the hell is he doing?

"Hey." He says softly and raises his hands. He slowly makes his way over to Miller with the knife and cuts away part of the plastic on Millers jacket. He digs around in the opening and pulls out a small chip, they were listening the whole time. That's how they knew about Sinclair trying to rig the rovers. I shake my head. Bellamy hands the chip to Monty and Monty wraps it in some sort of cloth.

"The bag blocks the signal. Now we can talk." Monty says.

"So you guys want to talk to us now?" I ask crossing my arms.

"Who put it in there?" Miller asks. It was probably Bryan, I bite my lip.

"That's not important right now. Pike just sentenced Lincoln and Sinclair to death, alongside Kane." My heart almost stops at his words. All three of them?

"Are you trying to scare us?" Harper asks.

"No. We're here to help. I'm sure you have a plan to break them out. What can we do?" Monty says.

"What are you talking about?" Harper says acting clueless.

"Look, we can help from the inside. But to pull this off we need people to hand them off to on the outside." Bellamy explains.

"We seriously don't know what you are talking about." Miller says this time.

"Do you think we want them to die?" Monty asks and I let out a humorless laugh.

"You guys are the ones who helped put them in there so yeah, maybe." I say.

"You know what? Forget it. If my sister wants to save Lincolns life you tell her to meet me at the Drop Ship in an hour." Bellamy says and walks out with Monty. I sigh and walk out the room after him.

"Bellamy." I say. They both turn around but Bellamy walks over to me.

"How do you expect us to trust you?" I ask him. He gently cups the side of my cheek in his palm and my heart flutters at the contact.

"I don't expect you to, I know I messed up but I'm trying to fix it now." He says. I sigh in relief.

"Okay." I say knowing I still can't tell him anything about what we'v been doing. Maybe he is telling the truth but that doesn't mean Pike had someone plant a chip on him too without him knowing.

"Okay?" He asks. His face is showing one of pain.

"Okay." I repeat and force myself to back away from his touch and walk back to the room.

"I hope this wasn't a trap." Jack voices. It was just me and him in the cave where Octavia decided was the out of camp meet up spot. We had radioed Octavia telling her what Bellamy had said and she said she would meet him. If they worked something out they both would be meeting here and then we would see where we go about this from here.

"I don't think it was." I say remembering Bellamys words. He sounded sincere, he sounded like the Bellamy I know. I hope he didn't lie to me. I don't think I can take any more heartbreak.

"You hear that?" Jack asks referring to soft clacks that soon became louder. It was raining but the noise was pretty clear. I nod my head. The noise gets louder and then it comes to a halt.

"It must be Octavia." I say. We both walk out in the rain, guns at the ready. Once I see that it is Octavia I put my gun down. Then I see Bellamy hanging on the side of the horse and my eyes widen.

"What did you do?" I question her as me and Jack both help her haul Bellamy into the cave.

"Made him sleep so we could tie him up." She says nonchalantly.

"Damn it, Octavia. He was trying to help." I sigh and lean him against the cave wall.

"He killed grounders, he's been on Pike's side, or have you forgotten?" She says as she handcuffs his hands together and then wraps a chain through the cuffs and through the metal loop sticking out of the wall.

"Of course I haven't forgotten. But he's trying to help now." I explain.

She shakes her head, "yeah? and what if that's just part of Pike's plan too?"

I sigh, there's no hope getting through to her right now.

A noise sounds from outside and I start to pull my gun out until Octavia puts her hand up.

"Don't, it's Indra." She says and Indra walks in. I quickly give her a hug to which she sighs but quickly hugs back. The chains start to rattle and we all look to Bellamy to see him wake up. He looks disorientated and I silently curse at Octavia for doing this to him.

"You shouldn't of brought him here." Indra says to Octavia.

"He was out the whole way here. I also checked him for bugs." She explains.

"You think I'd let them hurt you?" He questions her. I know Bellamy, I know he would never let anyone hurt his sister without doing everything in his will to stop them.

"Shut your mouth!" Indra yells at him. Me and Jack share a look knowing this is not going to help us get Kane, Sinclair, and Lincoln out.

"You should be in camp by now, helping." Indra says to Octavia but Bellamy speaks up. "No, Pike will be expecting you. You can't get close, but I can. We can save them but we have to work together."

"You're the reason they need saving." She spits.

"Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that you need me." He replies looking up at her.

"For the first time in my life, that's not true." Octavia's words cause an ache in my heart at the thought of how Bellamy is feeling right now. His eyes are watery but he doesn't let them slip. Octavia storms out of the cave with Bellamy calling to her.

"Guys, please, she can't go there alone. Pike's security has tripled, they'll see her coming." Bellamy pleads.

"She's not going to listen to us." I say.

"He still trusts me. If anything goes wrong we can use that." Bellamy says standing up.

"I saw where you earned that trust. On the battlefield, where you massacred my brothers and sisters." Indra reminds him.

"Should I have let Pike kill you?" He asks.

"Why didn't you?" She questions him.

"The same reason you haven't used that sword on me." He nods towards the sword in her hand.

"Octavia." She states. Octavia loves both of them and they love her, they wouldn't dare hurt the other.

"We are running out of time. Cut me loose. She could die in there." Bellamy begs.

"And what then? How are you going to stop Pike?" Jack asks him. Bellamy glares at him.

"I can help sneak them out of there."

I sigh and look to both Indra and Jack. Indra shakes her head as if already knowing what I'm going to say.

"Maybe it's worth the risk." I state.

Jack shakes his head, "I don't know, Taylor."

"No, you and I both know Octavia is a warrior. She will do what she has to." Indra explains to me. I sigh.

"Plus, we have our people in there, Taylor." Jack says placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Get your hands off her." Bellamy tells Jack.

"Bellamy...don't." I say shaking my head. This is not the problem nor is it the time or place.

"Seriously? Now you care about her?" Jack quips and I sigh knowing this is not going to get us anywhere.

"She's my girlfriend, of course I care." Bellamy says.

"Girlfriend? Thought she said you guys were done after you massacred all those grounders." Jack crosses his arms. I did tell him everything, he's one of my closest friends now. Me and Bellamy weren't together, not after what he did, but I still love him.

"I still love her, that doesn't change." He takes his eyes off of Jack and looks to me, "that will never change." I send him a small sad smile.

"Mmm, and the baby? She said she needed you to be there for her and the baby, but you weren't. She's carrying your child and you don't care!" Jacks voice starts to rise and Indra gives me a look almost annoyed with their bickering. Bellamy tugs on the restraints trying to get closer to Jack.

"You don't tell me how I feel. I love her and that baby more than anything else alongside Octavia. Are you trying to cause more space between me and her? Think you can swoop in and take her away from me?" Bellamy fires back. This is ridiculous but I don't do anything to stop it knowing they would just ignore me.

"If I wanted to it wouldn't be that hard considering you're an asshole." Jack says. I roll my eyes knowing we're just friends and now he's just starting to rile Bellamy up.

"Yeah? Want to keep calling me names? Wait till I'm out of these chains." Bellamy says wiggling the chains around.

"You're immature, Bellamy. You're not ready to be a father." Jack says shaking his head. Bellamys full on angry now and he keeps trying to get out of the chains. This time I step in.

"Jack, stop. What the hell are you trying to accomplish?" I say stepping in front of him my back now facing Bellamy.

"So now I'm the bad guy?" Jack shakes his head.

"What? No, but you need to cam down." I then turn to Bellamy, "both of you."

"So you're pregnant?" Indra asks. I forgot she was even here since I've been so caught up in Jack and Bellamy's argument.

"Yeah." I reply.

"And this ones the father?" She sighs and points to Bellamy making sure she heard right throughout the argument. 

"Of course." Bellamy answers for me.

"Good luck." Indra mutters under breath but I know Bellamy heard. I let out a small laugh and shake my head.

"It's been an hour since Octavia left. What is going on?" I pace back and forth trying to figure out what could be happening right now.

"Please, let me out of these chains, she could be hurt." Bellamy says. I stop pacing and look to him.

I nod, "you're right."

"What? Taylor, you can't let him go." Jack cuts in.

"I'm not. I'm going to go." I say grabbing my jacket from the rock I set it on. I pulled it over my shoulders and slipped my arms through.

"No, Taylor, you can't. You'll get hurt, Pike will see you as a traitor." Bellamy begs shaking his head multiple times.

"Pike said no one was to touch me. He wouldn't kill me either, it wouldn't look right to the people of arkadia to kill a pregnant woman." I explain.

"Taylor, you don't know that." Jack says.

"Maybe I don't, but I have to try. Bellamy is right, she could be hurt or worse. Octavia is like a sister to me, I'm going." I tell him. I grab my gun out from my belt and release the clip, I count ten bullets and then I click it back into place.

"Baby, please don't. Please." Bellamy pleads as I start to walk out of the cave. I don't look back because I know they are right. I could get hurt or Pike could actually kill me just to prove a point. But I have to go, my friends need me.

The walk back wasn't long at all and I go through the tunnels again to get in. Once I'm in I check for noise, once I know there's no one in the halls I lift up the board and climb out of the space. Okay, think Taylor. Where would they be? I walk down a few halls until I run into some guards.

"You're not suppose to be in this area, prisoners are on the loose." One of them says to me and I ignore them and walk past them. So they escaped but where are they?

"Hey!" The man says again and he grabs my arm and yanks me back.

"Don't touch me." I say yanking my hand from his grip.

"Didn't you just hear me? You can't be here. Pike said-" I cut him off.

"I don't care what Pike said. Now let me pass." I say. The two guards looked at each other then laughed.

"Alright, well I tried." I said shrugging my shoulders. I quickly disarm the first guard and knock him out with the gun, the other guard starts to shoot but misses and as I grab the gun he starts to shoot again. We fight over it for a little while as he continues to pull the trigger until I kick him in the private and he crumbles to the ground groaning.

"Should've let me through." I say before I quickly knocked him out as well with the gun. I run down the halls to get away from the scene, we made a lot of noise with the shooting and I have no doubt there will be guards there in a under a minute. I keep running and turn a corner until I'm bumping into someone. I quickly step back and aim my gun but as soon as I see who it is I lower it. Lincoln stands in front of me.

"Where are the others? We have to get you out of here." I say frantically looking around making sure no one is coming as an alarm goes off through the halls.

"The others are already out. You need to hurry and leave too, they will be here any second." He says and I look at him confused.

"Why aren't you with them? Actually it doesn't matter, we need to go." I tug on his wrist so we can continue down the halls but he stands still and doesn't budge.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"What I know is right. Pike will execute my people if I do not turn myself in. I can't let my people die just so I can live." He explains and I shake my head. No. Tears start to form in my eyes. He's sacrificing himself.

"You can't. Please, Lincoln, we can come back for them, we can get the others and come back." I plead with him.

He shakes his head, "I've made my fate, Taylor. Don't let it be yours too, go, hurry."

I wipe the tears that are now streaming down my face.

"You're not going to listen to me, are you?" I manage to speak but my voice cracks at the end.

"No. Taylor you're brave and strong and you're one of the best warriors I know. You can't die today. It's not your time yet. You need to leave." More tears slowdown my cheeks at his words.

"It's not your time to die either." I sigh knowing he won't change his mind.

"You are the greatest and truest warrior of them all, Lincoln. I love you." I say and pull him in for a hug. I squeeze tight and he hugs me back. I hear voices and footsteps getting closer and I sob harder knowing I have to leave him. Knowing when I leave him I'll never see him alive again. The thought makes me want to throw up but I take a deep breath and look at him one last time.

"Go. And tell Octavia I'm sorry and that I've loved her everyday since I first saw her and I will continue to love her even after I'm gone." I repeat his words in my head not wanting to leave anything out when I tell Octavia.

The voices are so loud I can assume they are right around the corner. Lincoln nods at me and that's when I take off running. My tears are blinding my vision partially but I finally make a full circle to end up where the tunnel was. I quickly lift up the board, climb in, and let the board down. I hurry through the tunnel and when I get outside I fall to the ground and cry. It's not fair. Lincoln is the kindest and bravest person, he doesn't deserve death for wanting to protect his people. This isn't fair for Octavia after everything she's been through. She loves Lincoln and now he is about to die because he is the most selfless person I've ever met.
I sniffle and finally have the strength to stand up. I start to make my way back to the cave but on my way there I can see arkadia from here. I decide to walk towards camp and I almost regret it. Once I'm close enough to see what's going on I have to hold back from screaming. Pike has Lincoln on his knees, they seem to be talking and then Pike raises his gun. My heart aches so bad I almost fall to the ground. A few seconds later Pike pulls the trigger and Lincoln falls to the floor. I bring my hands up to my mouth and sob harder. I continue to cry for a few minutes until I hear people coming my way. I look around for somewhere to hide but realize I dont have to hide when Kane comes into view along with everyone else. Octavia has a stone cold gaze on and I can only imagine she saw what I just saw.

"Taylor?" Kane questions.

"What are you doing out here?" Miller asks me.

"I went into camp, I thought you guys needed help. I ran into Lincoln." I sniffle. Octavia walks up to me.

"What did he say to you?"

"He said he needed to do it for his people. I couldn't stop him, I tried but he wouldn't give up." I say, the tears starting to come back.

Octavia nods, "anything else?"

"He said that he's sorry and that he's loved you everyday since he first saw you and will continue to love you even when he's gone." I repeat the exact words Lincoln told me and her eyes start to water.

"Thanks." Her voice comes out scratchy and I nod as she walks past me and continues to walk in the way towards the cave.

"Hey, are you alright?" Miller comes up to me.

"No, but I have to be." I say and we continue to walk. The walk was completely silent and even when we arrive at the cave no one says anything. Jack and Bellamy were there sitting down but once they see us they stand. As we walk in Bellamy looks back to the opening.

"Where's Lincoln?" Bellamy asks. My stomach drops at his name.

"Pike put a bullet in his brain." Octavia stated.

"O...I am so sorry." Bellamy shakes his head. Octavia turns towards him and punches him. She then punches him another two times. I shake my head, she's taking it out on him. It's not his fault. Before I can tell her to stop Kane speaks. "Octavia, that's enough."

"Stay out of this, Kane." Bellamy groans. His lip is already bleeding and a tear falls down my face seeing him being treated like this. Octavia throws punch after punch and I can no longer take it.

"Octavia, okay, stop." I try to go towards her but she pushes me away.

"Taylor, don't." Bellamy tells me and I back away crying. By now blood was dripping down his mouth, nose, and cheek. She lands one more hard punch knocking him to the ground.

"You're dead to me."

I gasp at her words as she walks toward the other end of the cave and through some vines. I take a deep breath and look towards Jack.

"Have everyone go over there with her, I need to help Bellamy." I whisper to Jack and he nods.

"Let's go, guys." He says to everyone and I think they all get the message as they follow where Octavia went. I quickly snatch the cloak Sinclair was using to hide himself and grab a water canteen and pour some water on it. I crouch down to Bellamy and help him lean against the wall.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. It's the first time he's apologized for everything. I thought I wanted an apology but I didn't. I didn't want to see him so hurt and broken. I just wanted him to be on my side.

I gently place the wet cloth to his cheek and he flinches. I wipe the blood off as he continues to stare at me.

"I never wanted any of this to happen. I thought I was doing the right thing but I know now that I wasn't. I should've just listened to you, I'm sorry I didn't. I'm sorry that I killed all those grounders, I'm sorry that I got them locked up, I'm sorry Lincolns death is my fault, I'm sorry that I won't be a good father-" I shake my head and cut him off.

"Stop. Killing all those grounders was on you but getting Kane, Sinclair, and Lincoln locked up was not your fault. Lincolns death was not your fault either. I know you, Bellamy. And I know if you had any clue that Pike was going to sentence them all to death once he locked them up you would've stopped it. And don't you dare say you won't be a good father, you took care of Octavia for sixteen years and you did a good job."

"Octavia hates me, I didn't do a good job." He shakes his head. I wipe off the remainder of the blood to see really bad purple bruising already.

"She's angry, Bellamy. She just lost the love of her life, she's taking it out on you because she knows she can. She doesn't hate you, she thinks she does, but she doesn't." I explain as I cradle his face in my palms.

"And you? Do you hate me?" He looks me in the eyes waiting for my response.

"I could never hate you. I love you, Bellamy. No matter what you do I'm always going to love you." 

"I don't deserve your love. Not after everything I've done. I don't deserve this family I'm having with you. You deserve better than me."

"Well, I don't want better, I just want you."

He gives me a small smile.

Finally, my Bellamy is back.

A/N:

This is the longest chapter by far!
I'm crying, like real life tears right now guys. So Lincoln is dead... I was crying writing this whole chapter because even in the beginning I knew it was the chapter I had to write about Lincolns death. Since Lincoln didn't really get to say a proper goodbye to anyone on the show I decided he should get a proper goodbye with someone which happened to be Taylor. This chapter made me cry while writing it which hasn't happened in awhile. I hope you guys enjoyed it, I decided to make it really long because of the death and then Bellamy and Taylor saying what they had to say to each other. Bellamy doesn't think he would be a good father but we all know he would make a great one. Comment and let me know what you thought about this chapter, what you liked/dislike and also what you think will happen between Bellamy and Taylor now. Thanks for all the votes and comments, they make me so happy and I'm glad you guys are enjoying this book.

Much love, xoxo.